Well. Well. Well.
How shall I begin this lovely tale? Hmm…let’s start with the fact that we live in America, where ‘Freedom Of Speech’ reigns (supposedly).
Let’s also take into consideration that if you give a teenager any latitude to work with, they will run with the opportunity to voice their opinions. Or make a statement. Or argue for the sake of arguing. That’s what teenagers do. My son is no exception. He just happens to be a pretty smart kid, with an Adult Sense Of Humor.
Before I begin, it is of utmost importance to preface this post with yet another piece of vital information. My son HATES, LOATHES, ABHORS that I smoke. He always has. He has been begging me For Years to “please quit smoking.” He used to hide my cigarettes, he used to break them in half, he has flushed them down the toilet bowl, and he is forever yelling at me while reciting all of the damaging effects smoking causes the body, skin & brain.
Keeping all of that in mind let me set up the latest scenario.
JCH has just completed The D.A.R.E. Program in school. A program that I think is a very important within our school system. These days, it is never too early to teach our children about the dangers of drugs, alcohol, and tobacco.
After the 12 week D.A.R.E. Program ended, my son had to write an essay, regarding his opinion of the program. He was asked to write a paper whether he did, or did not like the class, and if he had learned anything from the program or not.
My son opted for the “he did NOT like the program or learn anything” route. (There’s A Big Surprise.) Any chance to argue or drive home a point will light a fire under my child’s ass.
Here is the problem:
I received a phone call from his homeroom teacher. She sounded rather upset when she told me that she considered JCH’s paper about The D.A.R.E. Program to be inappropriate. Moreover, the Police Officer who was responsible for running the classes was equally as offended.
Apparently when they ask, “Please tell us what you did or did NOT like” … that really means, “Write a ‘Glowing Review’ about this program…Or Else!”
Not having personally viewed a copy of the actual essay, I cannot say for certain whether or not, my child was being disrespectful, or, if he was simply voicing his opinion. Although, it is very possible JCH said what I am about to tell you, with the sole intent of being ‘sarcastic’.
JCH wrote about how he felt he had learned nothing from The D.A.R.E. Program, because his mother has been teaching him not to use drugs since the day he was born. And, how he couldn’t really get behind their ‘smoker-bashing’ position. JCH thought the ‘program’ was a little too harsh on the cigarette industry as a whole. So, in his essay, he decided to make this bold statement…
“After completing this program, I just feel badly for the cigarette manufacturers. In fact, when I grow up I think I am going to get a job with the tobacco companies and work as a lobbyist for them.”
Um. Wait. And what am I supposed to do with that?
As far as I am concerned, that answer is far more creative than any argument I would have ever been able to come up with. I would be a liar if I said that sentence didn’t make me laugh.
(Not that I am promoting cigarette smoking, on any level, to anyone…Ever. “Smoking is bad M’kay.”)
The school on the other hand does not feel this was a creative response. In fact, they are trying to figure out an appropriate ‘punishment’ for his ‘sarcasm.’
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot ?
I have never been one of those parents who turn a blind eye and say, “Not my kid.” I have always, always, ALWAYS, supported the school when faced with previous situations wherein JCH did do something wrong. I am the first person to call my son an “ASSHOLE”, when he is being an Asshole.
But…in this case? I am sorry. I CANNOT seem to get behind the school on this one.
They OPENED THE DOOR.
For the first time (ever) in my son’s defense, he has been attending The Same School for Three Years now. They are fully aware of his Adult Sense Of Humor.
Why ask him to give his opinion if they didn’t really want to hear what he has to say? And now…they are PUNISHING HIM? Why would any school suggest that a TEENAGE can and should express themselves; only to punish them for the reply?
I am sorry. That school may be punishing my kid. But, I am taking him out for Ice Cream. I still cant get over the fact that he knows what a lobbyist is.
Please! Give him an extra scoop from gramma!
PS I still say you should write a scathing letter to the teacher and the principal!!!
I really think I might write that letter to the school. They were so wrong on this one. I cant even. Poor JCH. He was soooo upset. I cant believe he had to meet with the Officer & The Principal over this.
i honestly cannot believe there is that much time spent in the dare program covering smoking cigarettes.. i just know that is because most of the parents are little cigarette nazi ex smokers… if you wanna talk to kids about drugs,, i think you out to at least know what drugs to talk about,, and in my book cigarettes are not one of them… ding bats….
and cops don’t know shit anyway… let em talk to some junkies, exjunkies etc.. they can tell you what the dangers of drugs are a lot better than any piss tested cop i know….
you see now that i have this thing for authority too,,, so maybe it is a good thing that JCH is far far away from auntie paisley…..LOL
I thought his response was quite funny, maybe sarcastic, but they did ask his opinion. that’s so true….take what you can get from the response and keep it moving.
and whatever happened to personal responsibility. we all know what ciggy’s do…it’s a choice. some people choose to.
Paisley:
12 weeks on NO SMOKING. Gimme a BREAK. And JCH has learned a lot more from ME and my old ways about drugs. I totally agree with the idea that kids would learn a lot MORE from an ex junkie than a piss test cop ANYDAY.
I will send JCH some auntie paisley LOVE. xxoo
Valerie:
I laughed SO HARD when I saw what my son had written. I mean, I want him to be respectful to authority figures and all….but they need to lighten the fuck up.
It is interesting to me how many children act that way toward their parent’s smoking habit. I love it. They care so much for you in such a genuine way you can’t help to notice.
Why do people ask you to write exactly what you feel only to go back and tell you that doesn’t fit into the box that we have created for you to put it into? Instead, why don’t you give him a template to work from this way he knows exactly what to write and doesn’t leave any room for creativity.
Why is it that we are always punished for being honest? Sucks it does to be a person who can be sarcastic and real all at the same time and piss off people.
“Any chance to argue or drive home a point ” Gee wonder where he got that from ? LOL
Oh but your son’s dissert goes well beyond the obvious here!.
Having just gone over my kid’s 5th grade transition ceremony and DARE tidbits included – where some students read their essays to all attendees, the program does have a ‘numbing indoctrination’ tone to it, albeit one that actually might prevent some to take that step (the ‘choice’ as noted by some) into problems with drugs and alcohol. One less kid out of those vicious circles is a prize to be thankful for.
Reverse Psychology, the tactic of last civilized resort when everything else fails 🙂
I would have done the same to convey a message. Your son rocks!
Urban:
Why is it that we are always punished for being honest? THAT IS MY WHOLE BEEF with this situation. Gah!
(and yeah….my son loves me so very much and he truly HATES that I am a smoker.)
Danny:
ha ha ha
He certainly LOOKS like his FATHER
But he ACTS like ME!
xxoo
Rog:
My son DOES rock! Thank you
Well… you already know that sarcasm is my favorite form of wit 😉 and I’ve told you before I think your son is totally hilarious… what’s a mother to do?
He’s obviously très intelligent!!!
I remember when I was a little kid, we learned in school that nicotine was a drug and was addictive.
My dad smoked like a chimney.
In the middle of eating supper at a Chinese restaurant, my dad lit up.
This was immediately followed by me yelling out:
“Mom..did you know that Dad is a drug addict?”
Many stares. I got yelled at.
Good times…good times.
moooooog35 :
hahahahaha you always kill me with laughter!
YOUR posts are sooo funny I cant even comment on them!
Dawn:
Really! My hands are tied on this one. They asked for his opinion, and thats what they got…loaded and dripping with sarcastic wit. Im soooo proud!
xxoo
Your son didn’t by any chance read/watch “Thank You For Smoking” recently did he? 😉
Marco just got in troble yesterday too. He had a ditto with a pie chart on it that had half red where it said “red” & the other half blue labled “blue”. Well marco put another line thru the chart & labled the one section “poop” & the other section “pee”. ok? So I had to sign the paper where his teacher wrote “very Inapropriate” uuughhhh…..kids
Silver:
I don’t think so. My mother informed me she was the one who explained the word Lobbyist to my son.
Fanny:
Ha ha ha ha
MARCO is soooooooo crazy.
Uuuggggh Kids is damn right!!!
I’m not so sure about the D.A.R.E. program. First of all, I don’t think they address the fact that some things, like alcohol, used in moderation, are ok. The first time we cracked open a couple of beers after our oldest completed the program, he was incensed. “Beer is alcohol. Alcohol is a drug, you know! Are you going to get drunk???? Alcohol is dangerous!”
A friend of ours taught the program for years. I once asked him if statistics have improved since the program’s inception… if kids are showing signs of wising up and being more responsible. He told me there has been little to no improvement. Kind of disheartening.
Kudos to your son for using his brain and speaking his mind!
*Ahem* I think this calls for a “editorial” letter to the local newspaper.
(What a fantastic teachable moment for him.)
You go, Mama! I am with you all the way. Your son is smart as a whip and, pardon the expression, has the balls to speak his mind. They ASKED and he answered.
When my son went through D.A.R.E. I thought he learned TOO MUCH about drugs, and like you – I don’t turn a blind eye and my son has been busted by me and the cops for smoking pot. I hope you don’t have to go down that road, but much worse things can happen.
This prompts a post idea for me…I’ll have to do over the weekend about my son’s essay on guns that created a stir. Oig vay!
Wow! I am so impressed with your son and his honesty and bravery to speak up for himself. I am disappointed that the school wouldn’t support his right to speak his mind, but I am definitely not surprised.
This is an excellent opportunity for you to help him understand how important it is to stand on principal and (respectfully) speak his mind, no matter who it offends!! 🙂
I’d be SO DAMNED PROUD to have a son like that! Kudos to mom and son!
sometimes when you express your opinion you get flak..which is why I considered purchasing a flak jacket at one time…:))
I love this. Smart kid – smart mom. You know, I was hoping I’d be the first to mention “Thank you for Smoking” because the satire in that is exactly what your son was using.
I’m convinced that the old adage, “those who can, do…. those who can’t, teach” is partially operating here. I’m so sick to death and destruction (and a bunch of other words starting with D) of the “zero tolerance” that is preached to kids. Basically, we are not teaching them HOW to think, but when they do like in your son’s case, we PUNISH them for it!
DARE is a pretty stupid program, all in all. It harkens back to Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” campaign that never worked and I have read a few articles recently (not that I can cite any of them, mind you) of DARE’s basic ineffectiveness. So what your son did, what was considered so gosh darn “inappropriate” (ugh… another psychobabbly word that I hate) was …. he SHAMED THEM. And they deserved to be shamed.
You raised a great kid, Meleah! Bravo.
~Laura
p.s. – the spawn (aka my son) is exactly (and I mean… exactly) like this. Lively conversations always ensue at Casa Zental Floss.
..
As many before me have said, WHY ask someone to state their OPINION and then penalize them for it? It makes no sense.
At different times I got quite perturbed with our school system and the way they taught my kids. While I know there is a NEED to warn kids about sexual abuse, it got to the point where my parents were afraid to touch my children because they were told , “that is inappropriate!” Believe me, it WASN’T! Going overboard is putting it mildly.
On the smoking issue, I smoked until 10 years ago–the entire time my kids were going through DARE. And, yes, I got the whole ‘smoking isn’t good for you’ from my kids. As if I didn’t know it before they told me! I found it insulting the way they were encouraged to rag on the parents who smoked. And by the way, when one of my girls was young–before DARE–a teacher had the NERVE to tell her that she KNOWS there are smokers in the home because she stinks for smoke. Sometimes…
You go Momma! I’ve seen some feedback from teenagers when our organization has gone in and made presentations. Some of them were creative, like your son’s, and those ones helped us take a step back and make appropriate changes to the program, to make it more teenage-appropriate, if you will.
Your son rocks. And yes, how many teenagers know what a lobbyist is.
Key words … I think they are “your opinion”. He spoke his, and ultimately did exactly what was asked.
I have mixed opinions about the DARE program. Sure, we would all like to see teens that do not use drugs. When scare tactics and a zero tolerance policy is perscribed, you cause confusion among kids / parents. As Terri said, a beer gets opened, and terrified looks come to pass. Same with cigarettes. Bad … yes. Difference is they talk about something legal as if it was coke smuggled in from Nicaragua.
Not an easy situation, but it seems that a class could outline facts, and show circumstances to mood altering chemicals. Scare tactics rarely work, and sometimes create the opposite affect. Remember the “dope scare movies” from the 60’s? (me either) but they showed kids gone mad shooting one another. Whaa???
What does all this babble of mine mean really? Well, just that your boy made his stand … and that’s OK. 🙂
…. and don’t use drugs, even though I want a cigar now. 😉
Whoa! I want to give him a D’OH and at the same time give him a big Way To Go. I’ll choose the Way To Go!!
😉
I too am impressed he knows what a lobbyist is! If ya don’t wanna hear the answer, don’t ask the question I always say! 🙂
What a JIP!! Just because you doubled up Wednesday doesn’t mean you can take off on Friday. The deal was 3 days a week.
Disgruntled fan ~ CBG
Well, your a writer so get to writing woman! I’d be sending off a colorful letter to the school. Though, don’t use sarcasm because they obviously won’t get it.
Terri:
You said it perfectly. THANK YOU. Yes! Its nice to know you feel the same way as I do!
Miss Burrows:
Now THAT is a GREAT IDEA
Barbara:
I truly hope I never have to go down THAT road with my own son….
Thank you for your support!
“This prompts a post idea for me…”
I cant wait to read that!
ChelleB:
Oh my son has pure talent when it comes to being offensive.
🙂
Jonas:
I AM one PROUD MOTHER
Robert:
Thanks darling!
Laura:
Thank you for such a great comment!
Mom:
xxoo
🙂
CMK:
“I found it insulting the way they were encouraged to rag on the parents who smoked”
IT IS INSULTING! and ANNOYING!
xxoo
Drowsey:
Thank you! My son DOES rock! Hes 12 and used Lobbyist properly!
Speedy:
I know right. Terri’s comment was dead on. And when you tell TEENAGERS they CANT have something, they WANT it even MORE. (at least that’s how I was as teenager!) Now go smoke that cigar!
Michael C:
I was stumped. I am still doing a D’Oh!
Olga:
Agreeeeeeeed! Exactly how I feel
Danny:
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Too funny.
I will try to get something together for you!
MOMO:
I am all over that!
xxoo
Tact is for people who lack the wit for sarcasm!
Go JCH!!! You need me to call them? I’ll give them some of Dazd’s pure sarcasm…dripping and oozing everywhere!
I’d say they are violating his 1st amendment rights. I’m sure a letter to the local paper would suffice in a bashing of community proportions if he is punished. Push me, I shove back harder.
And yes…I would go to that length to prove my point if my son was absolutely 100% correct in his actions.
Actually, that statement made him brilliant……
Bunch of bullshit that they can even consider punishing him.
As a guy who does not like smoking but likes sarcasm, I like JCH’s answer. You are right, they asked for it.
As a guy who works in a role where I have to collect feedback forms from many people, I appreciate good honest feedback. Its an opportunity to improve for the stake holders.
But I can’t stand idiots who put some dumb comments just for the sake of doing so. I have had this experience very recently, some jackass who wrote some total nonsense on a couple of us speakers.
But JCH’s response, I like.
Anyone can argue whether his response was appropriate. All of us certainly admire his gumption [I actually wrote “balls” there but did not want to offend. lol] or some could say that he acted disrespectfully regardless of what the question was.
In ANY case, I cannot believe the amount of energy devoted to this issue by the school. There are WAY too many more important issues for them to focus on.
Your post made me laugh, Mel. Keep up the great work!
Dan
Dazd:
Hmm… I might follow up on it…
Diva:
THANK YOU
Roshan:
hahahahahahahaha
Dan:
Oh he’s got BALLS alright! I am glad that I made you laugh…and its sooo nice to see YOU back in ‘action’ again.
xxoo
I think JCH deserves all the ice cream he can eat for his wit, Meleah. And you too — for supporting him when it’s most important. Good for both of you!
*sigh* bureaucrats……….
whiskey tango foxtrot.
and is the d.a.r.e. program not a lobby group for do more drugs so we can justify hiring more cops?
they wouldn`t have a job if there were no drugs after all.
your boy needs to get away from the bureaucrats before they assimilate him into the hive.
They are out of line . If they wanted him to tell the truth ,as they always do, then there is no warrant for any kind of punishment. If they are personally offended then perhaps they should consult thier own union councelors . Bastards!!!
If anything he should be praised for not sugarcoating the way he honestly feels. What a bunch of candy-asses they behavior is worse and more selfish than the childrens.
Hope you all have a rockin good weekend darlink!!!
Chow for Now:()
xoxoxo 🙂
First of all: exactly what Paisley said. Especially the part about a former junkie being the most effective conveyor of that message. Not to mention, they should be focusing on the dangers of crack and meth.
Second: I LOVE JCH’s response. Its perfect. Sarcasm, well articulated, drives a point home like no other.
I am so like you in this, I often disagree with the school and it’s policies and cannot make myself stand behind what they say. I will often tell my kids the truth, that I do not agree with the school. To me, schools are often the biggest self-serving bureacracies out there!
WTF? so wrong on the schools part if he was just expressing his opinion…unless it was an attack on the teacher etc. I’m impressed that he’s so sarcastic. We love us some sarcasm in these parts!
Loved the lobbyist comment!
Good for him!! F the school and the cop if they were offended. He didn’t break any rules by answering honestly and correctly. Love that kid!! He sounds like he’s genius smart too.
Wow. I don’t know what to make of it. LOL! With all the lawsuits against the tobacco industry I say forget about it. He’ll just aggravate himself.
And if he was serious or not, there are so many worse things he could have said!!! Punishment? What the heck?
JCH is so like Jake. That is something my boy would say. Give him a High -5 for me. I appreciate his sense of humour even if the school doesn’t. I am shaking my head that they are regarding what he wrote as inappropriate. I think their response is what’s inappropriate. It’s obvious he was being sarcastic. I bet you he’s miles ahead of the other kids, a real independent thinker. Schools tend to freak out when someone so young voices an independent thought. You Go, JCH. I’m proud of you!
Paul:
Damn Skippy
AliStar:
I totally agree 100%
Olly:
xxoo
🙂
HollyGL:
I know. Please The Dare program spits out classic bullshit. Only a real junkie would be able to explain addiction in realistic terms. love my sons sense of humor. and wit. and sarcasm.
Beth:
I always tell my son THE TRUTH about things…even if other people think its inappropriate.
Courtney:
Thanks! Me too.
Chef Mom:
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
And Yes. My son is a smarty.
Ricardo:
So not getting punished by me! Thats for sure
Selma:
Good. I am glad my son is like YOUR child. That makes me feel better. i will be glad to pass along your High 5.
xxoo
🙂
Damn, your son is awesome. I’m afraid when I have kids I’ll be the parent who thinks everything my kid does is hilarious. I take very few things seriously, and I suspect they will as well.
At least he learned his first lesson in censorship… right?
Also, I vote that you post the essay in its entirety for our enjoyment!
err.. they won’t* as well.
Jillian:
My son is so very awesome.,….I knew YOU of all people would truly appreciate this one!
xxoo