Or.
Other possible title(s) could have been:
“Want To Know How To Get From Cloud 9 To Devastation Nation – In Record Speed?
Or.
“Currently Gagging… In My Own Mouth.”
Or.
“Where Have All The Good Men Gone?”
Or.
“Run For Your Life! He’s A Sociopath And A Liar.”
Or.
“Surprise! He’s Engaged To Another Woman, And The Only Reason I Found Out Was Because He Was About To Be ‘BUSTED’ By Someone Else.”
Yep. As it turns out, ‘Super-Cute-Total-Nice-Guy’ was NOT AT ALL what or who he appeared and pretended to be.
[It’s the classic old adage; if it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t true.]
Remember when I said, “I am not exactly sure why, but he sort of reminds me of Clark Kent.”
Yea, well...NOW I KNOW WHY.
Because Clark Kent lived a double live. And so did this guy. Right down to his disguise. Except that instead of changing into a SUPERHERO, he turned into a SUPER-LIAR.
Apparently, when he told me that he was SINGLE…what he really meant to say was, “I have been in a long term relationship for over a year, and we just got engaged on EASTER.”
But he never said that. Until someone else was about to tell me.
Since I don’t like make it a habit of mine to date men that belong to other women…I hightailed from that hot mess just as soon as I learned ‘The Truth’ Friday afternoon precisely at 12pm.
Fortunately, I did not sit around all weekend pining or being upset over this.
In fact, I am proud of myself for getting in, and getting OUT as quickly as I did. I am glad I was the one who pushed the envelope. Otherwise I might still be in the dark. I am proud of myself for handling this like a grown up, even though every fiber of my being would like to expose and humiliate him all over The Internet.
Instead, I am going to walk away gracefully, with my head held high, and my dignity in tact. Like A Lady.
I am going to walk away thankful because I am not desperate to be in a relationship, or willing to put up with any such bullshit. I am going to walk away grateful to have such a supportive family and to be surrounded by an awesome group of friends. And, I am going to walk away THRILLED over the fact that I am not his girlfriend or fiancé. [Whew-insert huge sigh of relief.]
I wouldn’t be completely honest if I didn’t say, at first I was genuinely upset. But, I wasn’t upset over him.
I was upset over the fact that I had been BLINDSIDED. Literally, BLINDSIDED. None of my bells and whistles went off, and none of my red flags were raised. I felt confused having been that tricked. I started to doubt my own instincts. But after more and more details came forth, I realized I had been dealing with a real professional liar. No one would have or could have suspected this sort of outcome.
I am just glad I found out The Truth NOW. Before I had the chance to become emotionally or physically attached.
Hopefully, I will not allow this experience to ruin any future endeavors I may have with the rest of mankind.
Note To Self:
In the future…Do not date guys that do not have Cable. Or Internet. Or Television… in their homes. That does not mean they are well read. Rather, it’s a blaring warning sign. It really means that person is way too busy keeping up with all of their stories and lies, to keep up with celebrity gossip and or check emails.
I think I am going to spend the next few weeks deriving a system that will detect whether or not a man is single. Because they next time someone tells me they are single, my reaction will be, YEAH. RIGHT.
*REVISED*
Thanks to Ana aka SomeGirl for making me my very own Clark Kent Voodoo Doll.
Now I really do feel BETTER!
Nicely handled and boy that sucks that he was such a LIAR! I would be questioning my instincts in your shoes, too!
Regarding the no TV thing – I dated a guy with no TV. OK, had one, a little black and white, unplugged, on a shelf. He was also a librarian. So I’m OK with no TV. BUT this guy had Internet!!
I’m glad you’re still up for dating and you dodge the bullet on this dude. There are nice men out there – I just went out on a date (!!) myself last night. Go figure! Looks like we may have Date Numero Dos tonight (!!!)
He has Internet. He’s the one who is perturbed by my lack of TV. And Cable.
You rock! and you handled the situation incredibly well! Big toast to you!
I wish i could beat him up for you.
Ms Q:
Well, I am not exactly TRUSTING of men right about now…I am hoping that I am handling this well….although I might just still be in a state of shock!
Fanny:
hahahahaha
You and my father are on the same page
Oh, CRAP! I’m sorry. What an asshole he is…. And I’m glad you’re handling it as well as you are. You deserve much, much better than him.
I’ll nuke him for you Meleah!
I’m going to advocate that all men who are involved/engaged should wear a paif of handcuffs around, if not a big chain around their what is! This will save many lives I bet.
Now back to you & JCH – quick smoking Meleah, else I’ll nuke you too – just kidding! 🙂
well i am ever so proud of you… i know how bad you wanted to blow him out of the water… but whatever you know… like you said,, at least you weren’t attached,, or thank god not his freakin’ fiance!!!!!!
no wonder he wanted to keep his life private.. i would too if i was him!!!! his loss girl.. his loss…
you did the right thing…good choices always win out..hang in there
Great post! Do not worry someday, somewhere, somehow he will get his . Remember what goes around comes around. One day he will have to deal with this situation again and I do not have to be so polite!!
WTF? Are you serious. My face fell when I read this. Bleh. But seriously, not owning a TV or Internet is unreal. Maybe he’s an ALIEN!!!!
This is proof I have growing up to do, for I’ve already concocted several plans on how I would fuck his shit all the way up.
Anyways, sorry it ended like this… on to the next bloke I say!
Terri:
Thanks for your support! I do deserve better!
🙂
RMH:
Ha ha ha ha
Thanks grrl. and yes, I know I need to quit smoking, I just dont want to….YET
Paisley:
All in all, I think I got away easy. I mean, can you imagine if I didint find this out and I was 6 months INTO the relationship?
*yikes*
Robert:
Thanks man! This blows!!
Patty:
Thank you for reading this…and I know that KARMA or YOU will make sure that one day, he gets his. Thats why I can act like a lady. I love you.
xxoo
Jillian:
I am so VERY serious. I think he IS an alien, either that or one cheap / poor? ass….who can LIVE with out The Internet?
MMeleah, Sorry to hear about this. Someday you will find ‘Mr. Right’. I guy is a scum bag. Period. Forget him . Your doning the right thing. Don’t stew about him. Just go on doing what you are doing. Good Luck !
You handled that perfectly. Walk away with your head held high. WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!! Don’t give up, there is someone out there for you. When you least expect it he’ll find the incredible woman that is YOU.
I am SO Impressed with your attitude!!! You inspire me. As for your instincts – Sweetie, this guy sounds like a “pro”. I bet he’s been pulling the wool over women’s eyes since he was old enough to yank his own chain.
As for him – he’s not even worth cussing out. I spit upon him.
WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD MEN????????
CBG:
Thank you for all of your support, through all of this nightmare.
You are truly one of the Good Guys.
xxoo
Chef mom:
Its the 1st time I have ever walked away with my dignity and head held high…Normally? I am a revenger seeker…Alas, I am too old, and too tired, and I only have 3 free hours a night…I am not gunna waste my time or energy. At least I learned how much I HAVE GROWN as a result of this.
Barbara:
Yippe! Im so glad that my pity inspired someone else. He really was/ is a “pro” and… at least I wasn’t totally ‘sucked in’ *wipes sweat off brows*
Spittle away!
I have no idea where the GOOD men are, when I find them… I will let you know. They probably live on a secret island thats password protected…??
What a jerk. I’m so sorry sweetie! His loss!
What could I say that hasn’t already been said? Cliche aside, it will all come to you when it is meant to–I truly believe that. Glad to see you aren’t ready to slit your wrists with a wet noodle–he just isn’t worth it, right? 😉 Take care, my dear.
(Oh, I agree, you have to WANT to quit smoking in order to do it. I smoked for 30 years before I finally quit–it has been 10 years for me! That, too, will come in time.)
When are we devising the “system” Meleah? I want to make the database we talked about…finger prints…photo…the whole nine yards…. “warning! warning! Assh*ole alert….ABORT Mission….”
I’m tired of this treatment of perfectly wonderful gals like us.
Sorry sweetie, you don’t deserve it… CLARK – KISS MY ASS – KENT!
A pox on him. How dare he treat you like that. He is damn lucky I live on the other side of the world, that’s all I can say. I am so glad you found out relatively quickly, however. And it could be worse – you could be his fiance. She probably has no idea what he’s been up to. I am so sorry you had to go through this.
Mrs Schmitty:
Total Loser. Anyone without Internet and Cable?
Buh-Bye.
CMK:
THANK YOU
I LOVE YOU
XXOO
XXOO
🙂
JEN! WEAVER!!! ??
Dood! For real! We need to make/create some sort of a registry….
or some sort of device that will produce genuine evidence…??
Im way too tired to play the roll of Sherlock Holmes. AND… There is no way I am spending my 3 hours of free time at night checking emails and / or phone bills for suspicious activity….
I will NEVER understand those who ‘stand by their cheating man’….UGH
ps…I am so PIMPING you out this week.
Selma:
I am sooo lucky that I am NOT her. whew!! Thats all I know! and happy about
No TV, Internet, or cable?!? What is he – Amish? Anyway, the cynic in me would want to check out the “story” I received before jumping ship – just in case the exposer had their own agenda. Either way, I’m so sorry to hear this didn’t work out for you and I assure you for every one of this dude, there are two out there that are terrific. I hope one finds you soon.
I am so sorry, Meleah. What a deceitful loser. I am glad you found out and got out of that mess gracefully before becoming more emotionally involved.
Hopefully the fiancée will dump his sorry, TV-lacking ass.
Kudos on the Lady approach to the lack of gentlemanship from that fellow… I bet he doesn’t even know where either concept begins, much less what each builds up to. His loss, not yours.
Oh. My. GOD!!! I am so sorry, Meleah. It just makes me sick. You handled it perfectly. Having had that experience – except that the man was married, and we were way more involved when I found out (its amazing what can remain hidden when the right ploys are engaged) – I think the only way to be absolutely certain is to do what you did and allow the relationship to evolve slowly.
You have to keep your heart open, Mereb. Just be wise about it – which you are. You handled everything perfectly from start to finish. Pat yourself on the back and move on. …and it might help to remember that what goes around ALWAYS comes around – especially for guys like that. 😉
Why oh why oh why oh why is life so complicated???? and why can’t people be honest? You are such an amazingly wonderful gal and deserve sooooo much better than an “Arse” like him… still, it is his loss! It’s guys like him that give us single guys a bad name! (Trust me, I Do have cable and I DO have internet access…lol!). Anywayz, well done for handling it in the way you have… I am proud of you hun and send you a big warm hug!!
The Sarcasticynic:
Amisch or an Alien!
hahahahaha
Ingrid:
“Hopefully the fiancée will dump his sorry, TV-lacking ass”
Poor girl….Has No Idea
(Seriously, I would NEVER marry someone that didn’t WATCH TV. Um…No)
Rog:
Thanks dood.
HollyGL:
I handled it VERY well…
Until TODAY. Its beautiful outside. And all I want to do / can do is lay in my bed. But….that is probably because I have been out every single night this weekend. And I think I may have over done it. I’m trying to get up the energy to surf the net…but it looks like that will have to wait until tomorrow.
Graham:
I have no idea why people have to be such liars. Thank you for your sweet comment. Glad to hear you have Internet & CABLE!!
hahahah
Engaged. Come on man. ENGAGED!!!! I’d get one of my friend’s husbands friends (certified thugs) to beat his ass for you. Sometimes I don’t know what people think when they go in a situation knowing they are going to lie and deceive the other person(s) involved. Just be glad that you’ve gotten back to your life as quickly as you did. He’ll get his. Man, if only “Cheaters” did a season in Jersey, I’d love to see him get busted.
Hang in there, Sweetie. Brighter days are ahead. xoxo
What an a**! I’m sorry about the news Meleah. That blows chunks!! I never understood why men and women do this. If you want to see other people, then don’t get married or engaged. How hard is that? Unless of course you’re swingers or something and in that case you marry and see other people because it’s an “excitement” thing. LOL! I don’t think that what he was.
its not like you would sit around upset over him…..you spent the entire weekend laughing & smiling with me babes!!
Christina:
That would be AWESOME
Holly GL:
I know a good day on the internet and surfing my favorite blogs will be the PICK ME UP I need! On to the next train wreck!
Ricardo:
I will never understand why people behave like that.
UGH *gags in own mouth*
If I didn’t want to get married, I would have said ….NO
(packed my bags and ran for the front door!)
TIFFANY:
For real…Thank you for Yet Another Fabulous Weekend filled with so many laughs , my rib cage hurts, the comfort food, the kids sleepover and even Fun with ‘Larry & Donna’
xxoo
🙂
Killing me here. The phone, it is your friend. You have my cell, woman, I don’t like finding out shit on your blog. Ha.
Ohhh Meleah, the little creep!!! I wish I could go knock his lying brain out for you. Hope you’re okay. Hang in there cos things will look up 🙂
Simple system to derive if the next one is a liar. It involves electricity, bare wire and water. Oh and testicles…
If you’d like to have this plan, email me. buwhahahahahaha
Hugs to you darlin’ for finding out about this creep early!
Leslie:
Im sorry honey…I was soo worked up and I spent the whole weekend keeping myself busy so I wouldn’t feel like crap…. I really NEED to call you. STAT.
Nick:
Thanks man! At least I know there are some good husbands around (such as yourself)
Dazd:
Ha Ha Ha Ha
yes, please forward any and all instructional info my way!
xxoo
Oh no!!! No, no, no! What a pig! I am so glad you found out early, and you’re right…at least you’re not the poor sap who said she’d marry him!
you are flipping kidding me. engaged!! when was he going to tell you? let me guess….after. does the name lorena bobbit mean anything to him? that’s rude. i have a brick and some time on my hands….sorry MR. no cable, no internet….wait a minute. i can do w/o cable, but no internet, that’s just freaking crazy. i think we should have these men filling out applications before the 2nd date.
so i’m looking forward to your blog post on how to tell if he’s single or not.
Daddy & I are soooooooo proud of you! There are no words!
You go, girlie!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
“with my head held high, and my dignity in tact. Like A Lady.”
Good for you!
Momo:
Yep. I am so happy I am NOT her.
Valerie:
Please!! I wish there was some sort of REGISTRATION requirement as standard dating procedure!
Mom:
Thank you.
I love you.
Dawn:
That is a FIRST for me!
Oh sweetie – I am so sorry – what a let-down!…but I just laughed out LOUD when I read that you won’t “date guys that do not have Cable. Or Internet. Or Television… in their homes”….’cuz it “means that person is way too busy keeping up with all of their stories and lies, to keep up with celebrity gossip and or check emails.”
….that is just SO YOU! AND me! HAHAHA! A glaring RED FLAG that there is something WRONG with a person when they don’t have time to keep up with celebrity gossip! Bra-ha-hahahahaha!
Oh – I love you!!!!!! xoxoxo
And he’s a big asshole too.
Wow…that sucks. I feel bad for you.
Note to self: “..don’t say you’re single…”
Olga:
Right! I should have known – anyone who doesn’t keep up with celebrity gossip is NOT the one for ME!
And no INTERNET? No Cable? WTF…
I cant possibly LIVE without BOTH
I love you.
xxoo
mooooog35:
ha ha ha
Thanks dood.
Don’t feel too bad for me. Ill survive
Oh. My. God.
That came out of left field…and apparently so did he. GOOD FOR YOU for getting out as quickly as you did! You’re lucky! That girl he’s engaged to is in for a WORLD of hurt!
What a F’ING ASSHOLE that guy is!? He deserves to have his nards cut off!
Don’t let this stop you from jumping back into the pool, there ARE good guys out there!!!
Like a lady??? Girl, you handled that jerk-off with the grace and elegance of a Queen.
No cable? no internet? The red-flag that would go off with me…
Maybe he doesn’t have this stuff because he doesn’t pay the bills?
Random Chick!
I am so lucky I wasn’t 6 months into this nightmare. I feel bad for the other girl, but maybe she DOES know who & what she is dealing with. I cant get involved in THAT train wreck!
Right now I dont TRUST anyone. Once I calm down, Ill go back out into the land of dating and PRAY to G-D I get a ‘good one’ this time.
Sheesh!
Diva:
THANK YOU. THANK YOU! Thank you.
I thought that too. Maybe is a broke ass and a liar. Double Whammy.
*yikes*
Bummer! Well, from a married man that happens to enjoy your writing and humor, I’d be happy to bumo him on the nose for you. . .
Been awhile. Hope all is well.
SA
er BUMP him on the nose, that is…
Go Poppa!Go Poppa!
That’s so cool. 88 WOW
Fuck that loser liar by the way…he gives guys like me a bad name
Just marry me and forget about all those other liars Skip!
Let me put it this way :
1) You are hot, sweet, graceful, wonderful and its that bugger’s loss.
2) You were WAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY TOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD for him
3) On behalf of men all over the world I apologize for that scum-bucket
4) It’s great that you found out about the idiot now and not later
5) You are the greater person for the way you handled it
and
6) Would you date a sweet & nice boy from India?