The other day I was on Facebook [*shocking*] and I posted a ‘Status Update’ requesting blog topic ideas from all of you. Because honestly? After being sick for over a week my mind still isn’t totally clear enough to come up with anything truly blog-worthy. And considering I haven’t left my house for days on end, I have very little material to work with.
Thankfully, a dear and beautiful friend of mine, Jessica [with whom I’ve recently reconnected with] presented an interesting topic. And I’d like to share it with you, my dear readers.
Contextual Intelligence,
Why do people feel that it is acceptable to ask a complete stranger personal information that is totally irrelevant?
For example: Do your children have the same father? Do you still talk to your children’s father? Does he pay child support? Were you married the first time you gave birth? Do you want more children? How much money do you make? How old are you? Is this your first marriage? Does your husband have children from a previous marriage?
I don’t get it. I’ve had it happen to me a lot, whether it be a stranger in a grocery store striking up a conversation or a co-worker just meddling. Do people really feel that it’s necessary to know this information, or is this their attempt at finding a way to judge you before even getting to know you?
It’s even worse when they start the question by saying, “I hope this isn’t too rude to ask.” Well, if they have to state the aforementioned prior, common sense should tell them that it’s not a contextually intelligent question to ask in the first place.
I am not sure why people ask my friend Jessica those particular questions, but I find those sorts of questions to be extremely and uncomfortably invasive. And, if someone ever asked me those sort of questions, I am not sure how I would respond to them.
So, I’d like to know what YOU think.
Tell me…
1. Have you ever been approached by co-workers, or strangers, and asked questions you feel uncomfortable answering. And if so, how did you handle it?
2. Do people really feel that it’s necessary to know this information, or, do you think this their attempt at finding a way to judge you before even getting to know you?
i love this post 🙂
we'll have to hook up on facebook one of these days…
Monique:
I have NO IDEA how much money any of my friends make – because I would NEVER ask someone that kind of question! I often wonder if people who ask those invasive questions are simply trying to judge me, because just like you said, there are a million OTHER questions people could ask that are NOT offensive!
YAY! you can comment again!
xoxo
Toad-ily. Add me as a friend.
People I've just met sometimes ask me why I decided not to have children. I always answer “I'll have one right now if you offer to support him/her until they're 21.” They laugh nervously and then they stop talking to me.
My sister in law is pregnant and she says strangers in the supermarket grab her belly. I would not be able to handle that and I'd probably be drop kicking people left and right!
Bee:
Ahahahah HAHAHHAh ahhahhah. Now that is a GREAT way to answer someone! I can only imagine you dropping kicking people in the grocery store.
My daughter was a preemie and weighed about five pounds when a complete stranger at Macy's asked if she could hold her. I was shocked and completely uncomfortable, but I stood my ground and said, “No. Sorry. I can't risk her getting sick so she can't be around random germs.” I'm sure the women thought I was a bitch, but I don't care.
I would NEVER let some crazy stranger hold my new born baby! And
furthermore, I would never ask a stranger to hold theirs! People never cease
to amaze me!
I usually answer the question with a question if they are getting too nosy. Yes it does happen to me and I think sometimes it's people trying to throw a quick label on you so they can file you into their own stupid category. I actually really don't know why some people get so invasive with the questions.
I think if strangers asked me such questions I might just smile and flip them the bird! Or ask some questions back to them:
1. Wow is that a lobotomy surgery scar that I see on your head?
2. Hey aren't you the woman who got caught having sex with the neighbour's 10 year old?
3. Weren't you the pervert caught with pictures of naked pree-teen girls?
4. Hey could you please stop farting so loudly?
Innocent questions like that.
“I think sometimes it's people trying to throw a quick label on you so they can file you into their own stupid category.” Thats what I think.
Ahahahhahahahaha! those are great Roshan!
I guess some people can be jerks. I'm on the shy side so they usally don't bother me.
AIR!! YAY! Its nice to see you again! Miss you. xoxox
I guess some people can be jerks. I'm on the shy side so they usally don't bother me.
AIR!! YAY! Its nice to see you again! Miss you. xoxox