CHANGE?

Is not something I welcome. Specifically when it is a change that I am being forced to make. I am trying to get a handle on a grasping a positive attitude, but I am really struggling right now.

You see, we had to make some temporary changes in my office. As such, after 6 years of sitting at the same desk, doing the same job, with the same people, I have been moved to another department. One that I am totally unfamiliar with. On a different floor. With different co-workers. And even a different coffee maker. I feel lost and confused having been removed from my element. I even broke down and cried this morning.

In fact I am crying at my ‘new’ desk Right. Now.

I am not supposed to write about work, especially while I am at work, but it’s my lunch hour. Since I am desperately trying to find a way to feel better about this sudden unwanted change and I am searching for a way to get though this transition, the only way I know how to deal with stress and tension is to write about it.

What I dislike the most, is the not knowing what I am doing. I am afraid I am going to make mistakes. Mistakes that could cost my company money. I know that I can ask as many questions as I need to. I know that I have people I can trust that will support and help me with the tasks I do not understand. But this is still, well, scary.

I am doing my best to be a Team Player. I feel that I owe it to my boss to at least give this new position a shot. After all, my company has made many exceptions and given me the ‘special treatment’ on several occasions. But, um, I am not exactly cut out for “Customer Service”.

I keep telling myself this is only temporary. But, I am not very clear on the definition of ‘Temporary’. And, I certainly don’t think I will be able to keep this up for 6 months.

I keep telling myself this is an opportunity to learn something new, but all I want to do is run for the front door screaming. The idea of working at the CVS across the street from my house has never looked better. Except that I am not a teenager. And I can not simply run away. I am a grown up with real responsibilities, and real medical issues, which require having things like Health Benefits, and holding a Real Job.

I am hopeful that with time, I will adjust to this? I am hoping that since this is my 1st day trying something totally foreign, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed? I am hoping eventually I won’t feel like hiding underneath my desk or cowering away from fellow employees with my shoulders slouched inwards hump back style.

Because right now, I am absolutely miserable.

However, Thanks to my mom for this laugh below.