What Now?
*sigh*
Here we go. (Again).
This all started as of Easter Sunday….
I knew something was wrong when I needed to take a 10 hour ‘nap’ after taking a 8 minute shower.
I knew something was wrong after making my bed up, all neat and perfect, but ended up doing a face plant, head first, down onto it, from exhaustion.
I knew something was wrong when every single second my eyes were open required that exact amount of time plus 12 for my eyes to be closed.
(The only other time in my life that I have ever been this tired was when I was pregnant. But, I do believe one must engage in sexual activities in order to get pregnant. Unless of course I am carrying the next baby Jesus? Doubtful.)
I knew something was really wrong after the second round of antibiotics did absolutely nothing for my symptoms, other than add new ones.
(Antibiotics are hell on my intestinal track. Oh the joys of side effects. How shall I word this delicately? Um. Let’s just pretend my stomach was a blender, and it was stuck on the ‘puree’ cycle. Not. Good. Times.)
Since I could not perform a simple normal daily task (like staying awake) with a fever that spiked to over 103 (inducing horrid nightmares) and every joint, muscle ached with a flaming pain (as if I had worked out on a treadmill for 17 days).
I really thought I just had the flu. That, or, I was suffering from some new form of Narcolepsy.
I finally broke down and went back to my doctor’s office. Inevitably, he decided to send me for some tests to determine what was/is wrong with me, and why none of the medications were helping.
I am NOT a fan of getting any sort of blood work. I am a fainter. Just like her. And I truly hate needles almost as much as this guy.
But, since there was no other way to confirm my doctor’s suspicions, I had no other choice but to endure the tragedy and torture of having my arm pricked by a hot pink haired phlebotomist.
(If I wasn’t so tired that day I would have taken a picture of her. That’s a shame too. It really would have been a classic photo.)
Any who.
Within 24 hours my doctor had the proof positive the cause of my ailments. Just to add a little variety to my life, along with the never-ending list of illnesses I manage to contract, I am also now the proud recipient of Mononucleosis.
Mononucleosis?
Symptoms include:
*constant fatigue = Check (a thousand times check)
*fever = Check
*sore throat = Check
*loss of appetite = Check
*swollen lymph nodes = Check
*headaches = Nope not that one
*sore muscles = Double Check
Awesome.
Except that its not.
I think I am the only person on the planet that can contract the ‘kissing disease’ when I haven’t even kissed anyone in months. I have no idea where, or how, or when, I managed to pick up this lovely virus. I have no idea how long I will be out of work, or how long I am going to feel this way?
I am guessing I have quite a while to go, considering I am only day 9 (with the virus that can last up to 30 days). Although, after day 8 I may have had a few teeny tiny little moments wherein I could function (and by ‘moments’ I mean I could be awake, albeit in a dreamy state, for one solid hour only to crawl back into bed for another consecutive 15 hours of sleep).
Under any other circumstances, this sort of ‘free time’ would be GOOD news. I mean, who doesn’t like time off from work?
However, in this case, I am angry.
I feel like I am wasting all of my vacation time. My ‘sick days’ are long since gone. And, while I thoroughly enjoy being in my pajamas at home, in bed all day, I do NOT enjoy the fact that I can’t use any of this time to my advantage whatsoever.
I cant read a book, because I cant stay awake long enough to make it through an entire paragraph.
I can’t comment, or blog, in all my glory, because passing out and drooling face down on my Mac in a comatose state is not a recommended way to treat electronical devices.
And the worst part? Is that I can’t even work on my book, since I have also acquired the ability to fall asleep while sitting up.
It’s kind of like being a super hero with magical powers. That is, if you want a superhero that has no energy, a fever, sore muscles, no ability to concentrate, and falls down unconscious, simply if the wind changes direction.
This post alone, took me a few days, and several edits to write, and I still cant manage to make this funny. I seem to be stuck on whiney and depressed.
Sorry ya’ll. I tried.
Fortunately…I am too tired to care at this point.
Hi Meleah, Hope you get better soon. I dont understand this virus but sure does sound worse than the flu that am used to. Do take care.
As sick as you are you still find a way to put together a hysterical post the baby Jesus bit did if for me !!!
I’m impressed you shared this much. I hope you recover in record time.
And you have vacation time saved up? I used to use mine up as soon as it accrued!
But it was totally worth it, at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
Actually, I was a little upset at myself at smiling a few times. I found it clever. Especially the superhero part.
You know what they say, “when it rains it…”
Feel better soon. I want you to have your energy back so you can enjoy life and all that it has to offer.
OH Meleah, that SUCKS!!!! I’m sending all the get well soon vibes I can, your way. Drowsey Monkey and Mental Poo’s posts were a riot!!!
OMG…you’re PREGNANT!!!!!!! Let me know the name of the Inn you’ll be staying. I’d like to send a fruit basket or something. A fruit basket big enough for guests, say like 3 wisemen.
Get better soon!
That BITES! Feel better soon and take comfort in the fact that you are NOT pregnant with a new messiah. Parenting is hard enough when you’ve got imperfect kids.
Love you babe. Feel better. We’re building your bubble to live in as we speak…
Hang in there! Leslie might be on to something with that Bubble. We’ll get a satellite dish in there, so you’ll be ok. Don’t feel bad, I got all my new sick days for the year in December and had used them up by the first week of Feb.
Arv:
Thank you.
Certain Bald Guy:
I do my best. Even when I am sick as hell. xxoo
Jillian:
Vacation time goes so fast. Gah. I wish work had school hours. Summers Off. Spring Breaks, Winter Breaks. I think as a society we’d all be MUCH happier and more productive if we weren’t burnt the f*ck out all the time
Urban Thought:
oh GOOD. I tried really hard to be funny. Don’t be upset that you smiled. That was my goal. i hope I feel better too. xxoo
Chef Mom:
Thanks darling. I have injured myself reading mental poo’s blog from laughing sooo hard. That guy is crazy funny,
Dazd:
hahahahahaha
Terri:
Parenting is CRAZY hard with imperfect kids. Thankfully I am NOT pregnant with any kids.
Leslie:
I love you.
Michael C:
As long as Leslie can make sure I have a wireless Internet and my Mac…I suppose living in a bubble wouldnt be that bad. You used all your time too? For health reasons also right? Thats why your my twin! xxoo
OK, Gravatars are still acting wonky, but at least they show up. Kinda. will do more later.
Well THAT Explains why your blog was so f’d up!!! After all it IS an extension of you! Isn’t it? (Mine sure is…)
The good new is…at least you ARNT pregnant!….that takes a whole lot longer to get over…like 20 years!!!! ……or more….
Feel better soon Sweetie! {{{{HUGS!}}}
Wow.
This is the first time I’ve been mentioned in a story about mono and the post didn’t include the words, “my lawyers will be in touch” or “..is now a registered sex offender.”
Thanks!!
I’m marking my calendar in honor of the event.
Leslie:
You f*cking rule.
Olga:
Aww….My poor blog was sick like me. 🙂 PS….there is no way I am, or ever will be, pregnant EVER again. (not even with a live-in-nanny and 10 million dollars.)
Moooooog35:
I swear you kill me every single time. You are way too funny.
I don’t know what we’re going to do with you, lady. Sounds like we may have to put you in a bubble like this guy to live for a while.
I was finally able to get to your blog without getting an error only to find that you are SICK! OMG!! You poor thing!
Before you got sick, were you running yourself ragged? Were you only getting a few hours of sleep? Were you not taking care of yourself? I might guess that the answers are “yes.” So, this is your body’s way of tell you, “Girl, you’d better take care of yourself or I’m gonna make your life a living hell!”
The reason I know is this very same thing happened to me when I got Mono, and I hadn’t been kissing anyone either!! It took me almost 3 weeks to get back to half-way human. Sorry to tell you that but sounds like you need to take it easy…sleep. It will do you good.
I’m sending lots of positive, healing thoughts your way 🙂
I forgot to add how tired after after just reading your post about being tired. But instead of crawling into bed, I had to crawl into the office…
I meant ‘how tired I felt…’ See, I’m so tired I can’t even proofread correctly anymore…
Mono? That sucks! Feel better soon!
Well I don’t mind the way you are supposed to get it, but I wouldn’t want it. Hope you feel better.
I don’t think I’ll be doing any more whining about my trip to the dentist tomorrow. Kind of pales in comparrison.
Poor Meleah. You have my sympathy…that and $2.00 will get you a small coffee at Starbucks, I know. Just take care of yourself so that nothing else goes wrong.
Bob:
I know. That or I really have to start making DRASTIC changes.
Random Chick:
I agree with you 100% (and you have no idea how much my MOTHER is going to LOVE your comment) She’s been so worried about me having too much on my plate and taking on too much all the time that it is literally affecting all of my other ‘medical’ conditions. And now I am too sick to tdo anything but LAY here.
Like I said to Bob….I have some big decisions to make over the next few days about what I can change, but most importantly what I am willing to change as well.
I’m sorry Michael C.
Its is highly contagious. Maybe you are coming down with a touch of Mono? After all, we are almost ‘Medical Twins’ …we just have different ailments.
Mimzie:
Yes. It Really Kinda Does.
Valerie:
Too bad I didnt have any fun while getting this.
Lee:
The dentist ALMOST sucks as much as this. I am doing my best to take care of myself. Sleeping ALOT. Drinking tons of water. Havent been to work and NOT pushing myself to work from home either. I just cant handle it physically. Period. xxoo
considering your condition it’s a wonder you posted at all which confirms what I thought..your a keeper…(highest redneck compliment..:)))…a little whoop ass on the mono and you will be back better than ever….:)) get well young lady
Oh you poor thing. I’ve had mono. I was sick for two months. I got it because I was really run down. It’s an incredibly frustrating illness because you can’t get anything done because you are soooo tired. I found that small meals every few hours helped as well as keeping your fluids up. Oh my darling, please take it easy. If I can help in any way, please don’t hesitate to let me know. Be well soon.
Oh, my dear, hope you are better soon! My oldest had mono when she was in 9th grade–NOT a fun time, for sure. (Oh, she also can get pregnant without having sex–and I KNOW she is not having the new Messiah!) 😀
Robert:
Thank you. That means a lot to me.
Selma:
I cant do ANYTHING. (or anything about it) Which is driving me Bat.Shit.Crazy.
After reading each comment I lay down. After writing a comment, I pass OUT. Other than sleeping and waiting it out there really is NOTHING I can do. Thanks for your support and well wishes. xxoo
CMK:
Thanks honey. No. This is NOT a ‘good time’. Your daughter is waaaay capable of getting pregs without having sex…too bad she isn’t having the Messiah! Can you Even Imagine?
Oh my. 🙁
You are obviously an amazing writer because despite explaining the fact that you have the “kissing disease” I’d have never guessed that you were sick.
I hope you get well soon and don’t bother responding to my silly comment, you need your rest darn it!!
You poor thing, it never seems to end for you, you are SO due some good luck and good health. Well, the good thought for the day is that it can only get better from here right? Perhaps this would be a good time to see if any schools or hospitals are doing any paid sleep studies, at least then you could earn some money while laying in bed all day!
aw mel… it is just one thing after the other isn’t it… i swear,, you poor baby… well i guess all you can do is rest and let it pass… i feel for you tho!!!!!!
I am so very sorry to hear this news. I am praying that you have the fastest recovery from this virus in medical history. Then you will get on some news shows and can do a little PR for your book while being interviewed by a handsome news reporter who you will fall in love with and live as happily as possible after ever…
Yup, I had this when I was 17 years old. I was diagnosed after going to the Chicago 17 concert, were I kissed about 40 girls in the hall. Nope, I did not see much of the concert, and totaled my car on the way there to boot. One heck of a concert.
Being I know exactly how you feel, I send some hugs over.
Loved the baby Jesus comment …. bearded babies are so cute 🙂
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Hey Lady! Between your blog issues and my own personal funk….I am playing catch up right now…
Missed you!
Don’t put pressure on yourself to be funny. You’re sick. This can’t be helped. You’re a victim of circumstance here. I’m sorry that you have the “kissing” disease. I herar you don’t have to kiss anyone to catch it. A sneeze or something like that can give it to you. The good news is I THINK once you get it, you don’t get it again. I hope you feel better.
I haven’t heard of that actually. So I went to check it out – it’s known as mono in America, but more commonly known as “glandular fever” in other English-speaking countries.
Ok now I know what it is 🙂
Hope you get better soon though…
Chellie B:
Thank you for your well wishes and especially for the ‘writer’ comment
Beth:
It really NEVER ends. I always have something ‘wrong’ with me. All this sleeping is making me DEPRESSED. That would be awesome to make MONEY from sleeping. Id be loaded.
Paisley:
Seriously. When am I ever going to be HEALTHY agiain?
Barbara:
Now THAT would make all this sickness worth it. Otherwise this just sucks
Speedy:
Sounds like a good time.
Jodi:
Hope all is well with you? Missed ya grrl.
Ricardo:
I heard once you get it you become MORE susecptible (cant spell too tired) to keep getting it. I dont know. Thanks babe. Your a doll.
RMH:
Whatever the hell the proper term for this virus is, I can assure you, its horrible. Yep. After just answering these comments, I have to go take a nap. Sheesh. When am I goign to have my energy back?
I decided to check in and see how you were!! Feel better soon!!
Yo, I miss you!!! I think your internet friends are correct – you will be the next Girl in a bubble. Wow – we need to take you to a Chinese herbalist you need a serious infusion of life in your body. Seriously, you need to live in a bubble – bubble girl – Get well and call me when you’re up to a conversation. Love you.
Sending you good vibes. Best to you. Thank God you have a strong spirit. You sure have been dealing with a lot of stuff. I was going to say a lot of sh.. but that rings almost literal. You will bounce back.
You’ve had alot of stuff happen over here Mel….I’m gonna need a day or two to catch up.
Mono, huh?? That sucks BIG TIME. You are the last person that needs any more medical problems…I hope you recover soon.
(I’ve missed you too)
Jon:
Still sick as ever. But hey? Are you back?
Pammie? My Pammie?
Grrl. I am DYING over here. The longest I have been able to stay awake is for 5 hours. (which now that I am on day 12 (of a 30 day virus) is a good sign. But after a 5 hour stint of consciousness, I require a 12 hour stint of sleep. Still cant drive. Still stand stand for long. and this is even hard for me to answer all the comments. 🙁 I just wish I could FUNCTION. I really do want to go and live in a bubble. I never want to leave my house again. Every time I do, I get sick.
Scott:
hahahahhaha Thats true. Ive had enough ‘Shitty” situations. Thanks darling.
SomeGirl?
Is that REALLY you? Or am I so sick that now I am even hallucinating? Just playin. xxooo
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Well that totally sucks 🙁
My daughter was hit with mono last fall… I think she still suffers from narcolepsy!
Get well soon 🙂
Oh no! I’m away from my computer for a couple of days and come back to THIS!! You poor thing! I SO hope you’re starting to feel better! There was a guy at our office yesterday telling us about his 12 year old daughter who has Crohn’s and all the hell she goes through. I was thinking about you the whole time he was talking. I’m thinking of you sweetie!
Yikes. Mono! That totally sucks. I hope you feel better quickly.
I know it’s way corny but may I suggest you have flowers delievered to yourself. Just to have something colorful and thriving next to your bed might help make you feel better in a small way.
Dang, girl. You have NO luck. NONE. The luck fairy needs to visit you. Seriously. I’m so sorry and do know exactly how you feel. I had it when I was in the 9th grade and yep. It lasted about a month. My mom dragged me to the doctor and embarassed the hell out of me when she asked the doctor whether or not you could get mono from kissing. HOW HORRIFYING. I wanted to crawl under the exam table but couldn’t because I was so tired. I only missed two days of school though. In our family, it was all about sucking it up. We were good at it. Of course, NOW I suck royally at sucking it up. YOU GET WELL.
Dawn:
I swear. It is like Narcolepsy! All you can do is sleep. Forever. Maybe even longer!
Momo:
Yep. Crohn’s is a NIGHTMARE and makes it virtually impossible to fight off any viruses, infections ect. Its annoying already. Im on 33 but I feel like I am 85. xxoo
Magic:
Yes it does suck. Oh. Flowers would be so uplifting and pretty. Thats a GREAT idea.
KellyPea:
Tell me about it.
Oh man, how embarassing for you! I would have killed my mom.
Im doing my best to “get better” but this is really kicking my ass. My doctor and my mother expect a SLOW recovery since I already have so many health issues. A normal person could bounce back to 100% in 30 days…..for me? I have No Idea how long I am going to feel like shit.
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