A 1st Date

Yep.

I went out Saturday night On A Real Live Date.

(*gasp* heard round the Internet)

I know! I know! This is ground breaking news to most of you. Especially for my sister in law Maya, who is forever pushing me (in a good way) to Get Out There And Start Dating.

For the first time in who knows, I was genuinely nervous. I mean butterflies in my stomach, what am I going to wear, omigod, omigod, nervous.

Side Bar: [I think I was overly nervous because I recently had an epiphany of sorts. I was talking with my mother about my previous relationships with men, when it dawned on me. Mid-sentence I realized, and announced, “Holy shit…I’ve been dating ‘The Same Guy’ over and over, except with a different name! Kurtis, Kevin, Shannon (ect. ect.) have all been ‘The Same Guy’. No wonder why I keep having The Same Outcome.”]

That moment does not sound as prolific as the actual light bulb turning on above my thick skull, but this post is about my date, not about my epiphany.

Let me back up here.

I met ‘This Guy’ approximately 2 years ago while attending a function with a friend of mine. Even though I ‘liked’ him (and he ‘liked’ me) there was a roadblock preventing us from being able to form any kind of relationship beyond the collaboration of ideas for a ‘video’ production. He was already involved with someone.

[Damn.]

However, when I saw him at the same function this year, I happily discovered that he is currently single (and has been for quite some time).

[Sweet!]

From what little I knew about him, I could already tell that he was UNLIKE any other guy I have ever dated over the course of my lifetime. This date was going to be un-chartered territory for me. Thus increasing my level of freaked-out-ness.

Some of you already know I have nothing to wear to the office let alone something to wear on a date. The quest for the perfect 1st date attire began sharply at 1pm on Saturday afternoon. 72,869,451.3 outfit changes later I finally gave up and left my house at 6pm. (5 hours was enough time dedicated to searching for clothes.) I surrendered to never finding the perfect outfit, after figuring out that no matter what I was wearing, I would hate it.

So what did I wear? Well…I don’t think I fall into the 0.02% of the population that can wear ‘The Skinny Jean’ and look good in them. However, The Skinny Jean was the only pant in my closet, which fit into my favorite boots seamlessly. I sucked it up, and sucked it in, and stuffed myself into those jeans.

I showed up at the designated restaurant (early) and I waited…

And waited.

Every minute felt like an hour.

I chose to meet in a restaurant I frequent often, for security purposes. That, and I wanted the comfort of having the home field advantage. Considering the weather was terrible on Saturday night, I did not want to chance driving around in the dark, in the rain, going to a new place, and possibly getting lost. I was anxious enough. I didn’t need the added stress of not knowing where I was or trying to figure out how to get there.

When I arrived, the staff was shocked to see how I was dressed. (I usually go there in my sweat pants, or anything close to pajama like fabrics, no make up on, and my hair in a bun.) I was questioned interrogated by the staff.

“Wow. Look at you! This must be a ‘Special Occasion’.Why are you all dressed up? You look great! But why? Wait!! Are you meeting someone? Do YOU have a DATE?”

“Yes. I have a date.” I said in a small shaky crackling voice.

I gave the bartender and waiters a quick run down about The Date who was on his way. I told them that I didn’t want to seem difficult, or high maintenance, by having to order my dinner with my usual specific demands. (Thanks to crohn’s and my food allergies, eating ‘out’ is quite the challenge to find things on the menu that wont affect me negatively.) I was afraid I might come off as some bratty nuisance. I didn’t want to freak him out or scare him off when ordering a meal by acting like Meg Ryan in that scene from the movie ‘When Harry Met Sally’.

The staff was more than willing to lend a helping hand. (I think they were just as excited to see me On A Date as my sister-in-law). The staff and I sat together to derive a plan. I would be able to order something that wasn’t even on the menu. The waiter and bartended pre-arranged with the cook what to bring me that was food allergy friendly.

(Another reason I chose that location for my 1st date. They are so accommodating. A big “Thank You” goes out to the staff of the ‘KHCC’ for making me feel extremely confident during one of my insecure moments.)

Can you just imagine being on a first date, and having to ask that date to help you find the ‘Epi-pen’ somewhere inside your giant pocket book while you break out into a lovely shade of hives? Well I can. And I did not want that to happen!

Okay, back to The Date.

He as supposed to meet me at 7pm.

I looked at my watch around 7:20 and figured…maybe he is just running late.

I took my cell phone out of my coat pocket and placed it on the table to ensure hearing my phone ring in the event he was lost.

My head was racing….

Am I going to be stood up? Am I going to look like an asshole in front of everyone in the restaurant who knows I am sitting here waiting for this guy to show up?

[Insert every worst fears and doubt]

At 7:45pm, my nerves got the best of me. I broke down and text-messaged:

“On your way?”

To which I received a reply

“ETA 10 minutes”

Whew. * wipes sweat off brows *

I went outside to enjoy a smoke break in order to calm me down. Just as I was about to put the cigarette out, guess who showed up?

The Date!

“Hey! You made it…any trouble finding the place?” I said.

“Well…not really. Although it would have been a lot easier if that main road wasn’t closed…”

“Oh that’s right. I forgot about that! I’m sorry.”

We immediately laughed as he began to describe the challenging task of finding his way to my destination via GPS.

By the time we entered the restaurant all of my fears subsided and I was completely comfortable.

We sat in a cozy corner, quiet enough to hear each other talk. And boy did we talk, and talk, and talk, and talk. It was probably the best 1st date conversation I’ve ever had the pleasure of engaging.

I knew that he was adorable. I knew that he was very smart and a well-educated man. But I did not know how funny he could be. I laughed so hard at one point my cheeks actually hurt. (My face is still sore as I sit here writing this.)

Over the course of the evening I learned:

He is 40 years old (PERFECT)
He has no children (PERFECT)
He has never been married (PERFECT)
He has a great job in NYC as a super smarty technology person (PERFECT)
He is handsome (PERFECT)
He is FUNNY (which literally makes me weak In The Knees)
And
He is definitely different from any man I have ever been with. (PERFECT!!!!!)

[I cannot tell you how refreshing it was to be on a date with someone that was NOT the stereotypical Irish-Hot-Head pounding beer after beer with only two goals in mind: getting into my drawers and/or reaching the sate of complete oblivion.]

We talked, and laughed so much, I lost track of time. We ending the evening by closing the place down.

In the interest of taking things slowly (another 1st for me) I was abnormally awkward about the ‘Good-Night Kiss’.

I am a smoker. He is NOT a smoker. The last thing I wanted to do was smell or taste like ashtray. While we chatted curbside I frantically realized I had forgotten to ‘pack’ gum or mints in my purse.

FUCK!

I leaned in to give him a hug at which point I whispered in his ear, “I’d really like to give you a kiss goodnight, but I just finished a cigarette and I don’t have a remedy to defunk my breath…I don’t want to gross you out.”

To which he laughed, and presented me with Listerine strips.

I put two of them in my mouth…at once.

The firey hell that lingered on my pallet was soooo worth ‘The Ultimate Good Night Kiss’.

FINALLY.

A good night kiss (facial hair free) that would not induce ‘rug burn’…on my face.

[I loathe facial hair…with a passion.]

Yet another bonus (+10 points) for my date.

Without getting into any more specifics or graphic detail (while I have received written approval for this post, some things must remain private –for now) I can state with utmost sincerity, I had the best 1st date…EVER.

I am truly looking forward to taking things slowly, and finding out if there is something worth developing between us.

* fingers crossed *