I have NO BIO

Okay people I am having a HARD time here. Some help? Or idea’s? Anyone? What do I want? I want to be a writer.

I have written every single day of my life since I was nine. Yes, I have had grandiose delusions in the past, (still do) but being a writer is a dream I have always had. Thanks to a lot of you (yeah, you, my readers) here, thanks to my family and my friends (even my biggest critic) have given me hope that there just may be? something ? fabulous / prolific to my writing style after all.

How do I become a freelance writer? Or, a part-time / on-the-side paid blogger? While trying to knock out my first novel? First off, I have to WRITE stuff, and SUBMIT stuff, and be REJECTED, and stuff. (which means finding all that time I never seem to have to begin with…okay, okay. THAT I can do. I can / will make the TIME already! Now I really won’t call people or IM or return emails.)

I have been provided a website (Epifunnies) by LESLIE to submit some of my “stuff” too. whoo! hoo! That’s not the problem. It is actually a perfect fit, even if they never ever chose anything I ever wrote to be published, at least, this is a great exercise for me as a “writer.” Then (via LESLIE) I was turned on to THIS site: HUB PAGES which is really very cool. According to Leslie… from Smoke Rings and Coffee Stains (which ya’ll should be reading by the way)….

QUOTE:
“The pay scale for HubPages is based in part on activity and in part on ad revenue. The more views of my reviews, the better I will do there, obviously”

Which got me thinking? hmm.. Revenue, from reviews? I want a HUB PAGE too! I could sooo get, ask, beg, and harass all of you guys to please please please please read my “articles” over there! please please please please help me out, and get me a few miniature- tiny- baby- steps closer to actually writing something worthy! So, I signed up, I went to create my “profile page”… I have NO BIO people. I have NO BIO. I have NO BIO!!

LESLIE has this amazing BIO which you can find / read / see HERE. This is why she rocks so hard and why she is my big sister.

So, I surfed around HUB PAGES to check out other people’s Bio’s…I am seriously lacking! I know… I have never done anything like this before, with any of my writing. *sheesh* The only time I have ever published anything is with the publish to the Internet button in blogger. Maybe? I am not even ready to have a HUB PAGE? What would I even write about? If it’s not about me! me! me! me! Would I write the same sort of stuff as I do here? Only, like a real person, one that does not cuss (as much? or often? or at all even!)?

So I surfed some more HUB PAGES to see what these people ARE writing about…there is a slew of topics from: Grammar Mishaps: Capitalization rules, to, Chris Daughtry-An Authentic American Idol from Mac’s vs. PC’s to Creating fun Kids Rooms and there are even topics like, Never Let Your Wife Wear a Thong to the Supermarket.

All in all it’s a really great website. Well constructed, easy to use, and quite informative with an eclectic realm of topics. I just don’t know if I (me) I should write anything for it? But, I do need a BIO. No matter what. If? I started a HUB PAGE would that get me started in creating a BIO? Right now, the “ABOUT ME” section on THIS blog is just about all the BIO I can put together!

I have that and this lovely piece I wrote about myself:

Meleah Rebeccah: Mock Bio

I have absolutely no resume that includes a writing background.
I have never submitted anything anywhere; my fear of rejection outweighs all effort. I have no degree’s and a limited educational experience. Although my writing style has been called Prolific by family and friends (who may be lying to my face). Nothing of mine has ever been published, other than my BLOG (if you can count that as being “published”) which consists of incoherent rants and a lot of pictures of my father. (whom I torture – every day) However, I have been writing every day since I was nine. I love to write, I have written and do write almost every night before I go to bed. Yet I have never thought of myself as a writer. You probably wont either! Sometimes I just write non-sense about boring daily events, while other times, I take on a real subject and give an honest heartfelt go at it. Please be forewarned, I certainly cannot spell, and I don’t know or understand the ever-so-changing rules of grammar.

I am a New Jersey native. Born and raised. (except for a few years I lived in CA) I am 32 year old single mother for the past ten years, to one child (a boy). I have been a full time Commercial Insurance Agent working in the marketing department for the past five years. (Which has sucked all the creativity out of me, leaving these scraps of non linear sentences for you to choke and gag upon)

I have OCD which precludes me from having physical contact with people, or pets, and god help you if I see dust in my house… ever. You will be subject to putting on gloves, forced to your kness and helping with the ceremonial bleaching process.

*Now thats a fucking BIO! Just Kidding….