Many of you know I have a long-standing and well-documented INTENSE FEAR of needles – including passing out every single time I have to get blood work. I suffer from Vasovagal Syncope, which is just a fancy medical term for fainting.
My personal experiences have been so bad – I’ve been sent to the ‘Children’s Ward’ at LabCorp, multiple times, accompanied by my mother and/or father and/or any other adult/friend to hold my hand.
To this day – I still have to lie down, look at the wall, and sing the alphabet while trying to inhale and exhale as slowly as possible.
And THEN?
Sometimes it STILL takes 8-10 STICKS for any phlebotomist to get an actual vein.
And then?
And even when they DO get SOME of my blood?
Suddenly, my veins collapse and my body turns into the ‘Soup Nazi’ …
“NO MORE BLOOD FOR YOU!”
[Side Bar: And that’s after drinking soooo much water to “fluff-up-my-superficial-veins” I literally micturate (fancy medical term for urinate) CLEAR fluids. And? That’s also after taking ½ a Xanax to calm my nerves!]
That being said, I was ABSOLUTELY terrified to start the phlebotomy module of my CCMA course. I literally had nightmares and woke up with cold sweats just imagining reading about needles and drawing blood.
Once I knew we were allowed to attend CAMPUS – IN REAL LIFE – and we were going to learn how to practice taking blood draws BEFORE we even READ THE ACTUAL CHAPTER ON PHELBOTOMY?
** I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT **
In fact, at one point, I was so scared – I almost contemplated quitting school. I got myself so worked up I nearly convinced myself that I had made a horrible life choice and I should just give up and run away.
But then?
I thought about how far I have come.
And I put on my big girl panties.
But when I showed up on campus that Thursday evening, I felt lightheaded. Just two days before – the mere sight of a needle made me dizzy. My classmates saw my face turn ghost white as I grabbed a chair to stop myself from falling after the teacher shoved the ‘beveled edge of the needle’ one inch from my face – so I could see how the needle is supposed to be inserted.
Luckily, before class, I was smart enough to try to ‘desensitize’ myself by watching THOUSANDS of videos on phlebotomy. Like hours and hours of videos, until I was able to watch them without flinching!
After listening to a lecture on ‘Medical Asepsis’ and taking a quiz and getting 100% on said quiz – although that lecture and the contents within had NOTHING to do with learning how to drawing blood – I felt a little more confident.
But when we walked into the “Lab” …(which is now inside the cafeteria because of Covid-19 and the 6 feet apart rule) I almost threw up.
Even though this is just a ‘fake arm’ it scared the blue hell out of me!
I stayed as far away as I possibly could and I watched everyone else in class do it first. While paying close attention to what my classmates were doing … Suddenly and out of nowhere – the fighter-tough-as-nails-never-gives-up-kick-asses-and-takes-names-Meleah showed up. And she was on a Mother Fucking mission!
I grabbed my supplies and walked over to the creepy fake arm with my classmates cheering me on. They rallied behind me in true support. It’s almost like they wanted me to succeed as much as I did. The feeling of camaraderie took over my sheer terror. Armed with my newfound determination I was ready. More than I would ever be.
And here’s how that worked out for me …
And now?
I am NO LONGER scared of needles WHATSOEVER!
And now?
I CANNOT WAIT to go back to campus and draw REAL blood from a REAL arm!!
And now?
I can’t wait for the next time my OWN doctor has to take MY blood again! He might be the one to faint this time, when I’m not scared or singing the alphabet!!
But since those pictures don’t really do the evening justice?
Here are the “live photos” that have been converted into videos.
Now you can witness my REAL TIME / REAL LIFE / REAL EXPRESSIONS the very first time I drew blood with a needle in class!
(PS: These are SUPER SHORT – I totally wish these were longer. Nevertheless, I am amazed that my classmate managed to get the PERFECT timing on these and capture the EXACT moment!)
ENJOY!
That’s all for now folks!
Stay tuned.
Love,
M
