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I [CANT STAND] just really love how my office is the ultimate sink or swim environment.

And I [AM FLIPPING OUT WITH PANICK ATTACKS] really like it when I am given tasks that are far beyond my range of capabilities while expected to do a good job.

Hi. My name is Meleah, and I work in the MARKETING department. Sure, I am fan-fucking-tastic at placing your insurance coverage with the correct company, at an affordable price. In fact, I ‘ROCK THE HOUSE’ as far as Marketing is concerned. Just ask anyone on the block.

But, I am NOT in the ADVERTIZING department. (We don’t even have an advertising department.) Yeah. Um. I am thinking that just maybe? Maybe? This sort of thing should be done by yanno…PROFESSIONALS?

I have NO CLUE, nor experience, and absolutely no concept with respects to creating, designing, and WRITING an Ad to fit ½ a page in our local magazine.



Apparently, since I can make a cool looking FAKE ALBUM covers, or produce kick-ass invitations for my bosses’ daughters’ birthday parties, I have been deemed ‘qualified’ to write copy and design an REAL LIVE ADVERTIZEMENT for my office.

And it’s due by Friday.

Help Me Internet.

While ya’ll are out here surfing the net, writing new posts, having fun with each other, commenting, reading and blogging… I’ll be held captive to Comic Life, Luna Pic and whatever else I can pull OUT OF [MY ASS] THIN AIR in an attempt to meet my deadline.

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  • i have no doubt you’ll do fine. seriously.
    my mom does this as consultancy. wish she were near you to help out.
    my recommendation (as a software engineer that doesn’t have the first f*ing clue about anything non-software….of course) ? have fun with it.

  • I think the company i work for has the same philosophy. They have a huge marketing department and expect them to do the advertising as well. Hopefully you’ll do an awesome job for them. 😉

  • Just do your best. That’s all anyone can ever ask of you. 🙂

  • You can do it! Don’t stress, you’re just putting more pressure on yourself. Just do you best!

  • Meleah


    I have NO IDEA what I am doing and all the WORDS I am thinking of using just sound SOFA KING lame. I mean, its HARD to write ‘copy’ for something you have no passion for…as for the images and software NECESSARY to pull something like this off, I just dont have. I am just going to have to make do with what I have.



    This is CRAZY to me! Why are companies so concerned with $$ rather than hiring the RIGHT people for the job that can / will create a GREAT product? Mine is looking like a 2nd grader worked on it.

    Chef Mom:

    I love your confidence in me. I wish I had some confidence in the SKILLS I DONT EVEN HAVE! xxoo


    Ill try to have fun with it, but its HARD AS HELL

  • Girlfriend,
    I too have no doubt you will do fine. Have you read advertising copy lately?

    All else fails, go look around at other ads, find one that you like and copy it. That’s what all self respecting ad people do anyway.

    I have written hundreds of ads – and I work in sales….

  • Meleah


    Well I cant just copy someone else’s work! But, I am playing with my own verbiage

    *and MIND YOU I haven’t been able to WRITE jack shit in a week…so this could not have come at a worse time.


    I know this is a HUGE deal… (and now there are TWO ads..one is 1/2 page and the other is a FULL PAGE) I have been handed a MAJOR responsibility here. Its freaking me out!!

    Its nice to know that all of you guys have such confidence in me…but I am SO going to be calling in help / favors / ideas…especially from my ‘sister’ LESLIE!!!

  • 1/2page! That’s some serious money going in to get the big space.
    It’s such an honor for your management to leave this important task in your good hand.
    With such a strong vote of confidence behind you, you’ll do well Meleah.

    PS: Being totally bad with words, I’ve no idea how to help… except maybe I’ll get panic, scream the place down and run naked around the block with you…

  • Hey Meleah, I’ve tagged you for a meme on my blog.

  • Ask Olga to do it for you. She’s exceptionally talented.

  • Lis

    Wow. All I can say is good luck!

  • Meleah


    Cool! Thanks.


    I dont want other people to do my work! Thats not cool! Although, if I was going to ask someone it would be her. Olga is one of the BEST!!


    I think? its done! My boss FINALLY liked the WORDS….I am not a fan of his image choices but, he is the boss and I have to work within those specs!

  • Mel, I wish I had seen this sooner; I’ve been out of it for awhile. Since it’s done BE PROUD or yourself. Plus, it’s good for your resume, too.

    I write ad copy all the time. Next time, email me and I can give you some solid, no frills tips.

    But I’m sure you rocked it any way.

  • You know what? I bet it will look so kick-ass that you’ll end up doing more.

  • Meleah


    Your The BESTEST ever! I will keep you in mind in the future. And hells yes this is RESUME material and next years ‘review’ material.


    It came out “OKAY”. Too bad I cant post it.

  • Lee

    Meleah, my motto is “fake it ’til you make it!” I’ve done stuff in the past that was assigned because I mentioned that I knew how to spell whatever it was they wanted done. The bad thing is that if you’re successful in meeting the irrational request, then it becomes “your job” from that point forward.

    Good luck! 🙂

  • You will do fine..sometimes the most dfaunting tasks are the most rewarding..if nothing else it will be a learning experience..:)

  • I had no idea either, but have used stuff I made up in Marketing class in college (with NO direction) as examples in job interviews.

    Haven’t you learned that all Advertising is is people who pretend to know exactly what they’re doing? And this might be a great opportunity to sit down and talk about a list of your responsibilities, and add $$$ to your salary while thay add new tasks!

    At least this sounds like a project that fits your interests (and photoshop can be a tax write off 🙂

  • I like Lee’s idea of fake it till you make it. Also, this could be a great opportunity to get away from the office to allow your creative juices to work – say, at a day spa for a massage or facial or at a nice bar in the city that serves wine by the glass, all added to your expense account. Anything for the creative process!

  • Danny aka CBG

    Babe , You know your going to ‘NAIL IT’ !!

  • Hey Meleah, I’m sure you’ll do fine. The way you write your blog sometimes makes me think you’re a copywriter … 😀

  • Meleah


    Ill give it a shot! But, I have a feeling I am already headed down that path…


    Im learning that I cannot write cheesy Ad Copy very well!


    Oh thank god. So NO ONE knows what they are doing? THAT makes me feel a WHOLE lot better! Ha ha ha…

    And you SOLD me on PhotoShop work related tax write offs.

    hmm…In fact, I think the next time ‘they’ ask me to take on a task like this, I will advise The Powers That Be, I need PHOTOSHOP in order to create a more professional look…and my company can PAY FOR IT entirely!


    “at a nice bar in the city that serves wine by the glass, all added to your expense account. Anything for the creative process!” NOW THAT is a GREAT idea!!


    Thanks for the vote of confidence. xxoo


    That was sweet of you. Thank you.

  • Uh, you know that advertising/PR/copywriting is my background, right? I used to make a living doing freelance copywriting and PR. And my freelance I mean I was my employer and had to live on whatever I brought in and what clients I could find and how they liked my writing.

    And, you know I WILL help you…

  • Now’s the time to demand a raise!

  • Excuse me? I’d love to give you a hand! 🙂 Seriously!

  • Meleah

    Michael C:

    I love you dood. I am FREAKING OUT.


    Hell Yeah.


    I just might take you up on that offer.


  • Drama Queen! lol, I bet you’ll do fine. Just as if it was done by one of those professionals.

  • FV

    Hiya Mele Mele,

    Don’t you worry about a thing, cus everything is going to be allright. You are going to pull through like you have done before, and if, BIG IF you don’t you will have the self-satisfaction you did THE BEST you could and that counts for more than you think. Hang in there Mele Mele.


    FV 🙂

  • Lemme know if I can help! 🙂
    What’s the name of the town you went to HS at?

  • Loz

    In my book you’re terrific to please drop on by and collect your ward 🙂

  • Oh wow. I wouldn’t know where to begin with that one. I’ll tell you this, a nice fat raise is owed to you if they keep putting projects like this on you.

  • Meleah


    Yes. I am a Drama Queen, but I am really nervous about this.


    Thanks dood. You are always so supportive.


    I went to HS in WHITMORE CA …. and um yeah… I am really considering taking you up on that.


    Aww… You are too kind. I miss you! I dont visit your blog enough. (shame on me)


    Ha ha ha… RIGHT!

  • Seriously, I will help ya.

  • Meleah

    seriously…i love you…i will send you an email!!

  • If anyone can do it, you can. You seriously underestimate how good a writer you are. Get some tips from your readers who have copywriting experience and then add your own flavour. I know you will do a great job!

  • Meleah


    I really appreciate YOUR vote of confidence. Coming from a WRITER such as yourself that is the biggest compliment. THANK YOU.

    I think? I have THE WORDS. My boss approved / liked what I chose, but….Now I have to ‘put it together’ in an AD.

    He is also specific about wanting the LOGO and THE BUILDING incorporated.

    I have NO IDEA how the ‘final product’ will turn out.

    I have been up till 2am every damn night playing with ideas…THAT I HATE…and I only have 24 hours left.

    No wonder I have heart burn today.

  • I hope my tips over the last few days helped. And after having SEEN your boss’s input I FEEL your pain. Good Lord. You are doing fine.

  • Meleah


    Im dying. DYING. I have to do what HE tells me to do. I am almost ready to THROW IN THE TOWEL.

    Thank G-D for your direction and support. I am in AGONY over this. Why do I have to use those images? Beyond me. But I am trying to make it work. I am definitely going to TRY the Black N White / Fade Idea

    I am going to start FRESH tonight when I get home and down load that GIMP linkage you sent my way as well.

    I have also called upon “Olga” for ‘photo-shopping’

    My eyeballs are bleeding.

  • Oh, Meleah, I’m sorry I’m just now reading this. Damn. The best advice I can think of – and its probably too late – is to brainstorm. I know it seems elemental, but just sit down and start writing down every inane idea that pops into your mind. Even if you would never in your wildest dreams use it. Also, think about ads that you like for ANYTHING. What is it you like about them, specifically: the verbiage, the concept, the aesthetics. I guess what I’m saying is to pare it down to the very basics. Kindergarten. You’d be amazed what creative genius can spring forth from such a humble beginning. xoxo

  • Meleah


    and THAT is why I LOVE YOU……..

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