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What IS it about MEN? And ME?

Do I have a sign? Do I ask for it? Is there something I am doing? I am so unaware of why?

Why? Why? WHY? Do I get “hit on” all the time by married men?

Or, why? am I suddenly being assaulted with an excessive! amount! of inappropriate emails, from people all over the blog-o-sphere.

Do I just bring that out in a guy?

Or, have I just attracted a bunch of whack jobs to my sight?

And how to loose them?

I’m thinking this post is a good start.

If you read my blog because you enjoy funny things I say, enjoy it enough for you to comment, THANK YOU.

Please keep reading, please keep commenting. I love my “comments.” I am a comments whore. I harass all of my family and all of my friends to COMMENT! PLEASE?

So when a “stranger,” from the Internet, writes me an unprovoked comment, I am happy in a unicorns and rainbows sort-of-way.

I loved “de-lurking week.” There were so many people I never knew that read my blog. It was flattering if nothing else…and it was fun to delurk other people. And I got a lot of unexpected, much appreciated comments. Yeay!

I have made some ‘interweb fwenz’ (people I do not know in ‘real life’) as a result of blogging.

But, um, so far no one has been a SWF, or a clingy creepy, obsessive, freak-me-out motherfucker.

Until NOW.

When a certain comment moves me or I think you are a new reader, as a WRITER I get this warm fuzzy happy goodness inside. Thus, I am grateful, so, I reply to the / your comment, with an email.

Yet apparently, my emails may have way too much gratitude? The gratitude I have expressed seems to have been severely misconstrued by certain individual (s).

Here is some USEFUL ADVICE:

Playful banter, is NOT! an invitation to my bed, or dinner, or even coffee dood!

Some people, who are detached from reality, think “WE” as in stanger-or married-or internet-freaks and I, have some sort? of relationship.

Um, I realize, after MUCH thought, that I am waaaaaaay to open on this page. I share a lot of intimate details about my family, my house, my life, and myself. So I guess how I can see how people think they “know me” or have some bond, some connection, to me when reading my words.

While most of the time, I enjoy that everyone can relate, personalize themselves with things I have written, or even get a good laugh or cry at some of the other things I have written.

(I am currently… freaked out.)

I am not blogging to “find a man” “date a man” LEAST of all a MARRIED MAN. Yes, there are DATING websites, but MOMMA MIA, my blog! isn’t one of them!

Even if I write, bitch, whine, moan, yell, scream, complain about being alone sometimes, feeling empty, wanting someone else to be-in-charge, to take over for a minute, or worry about the fact that I lean on my daddy entirely too much. That doesn’t mean… “Hey married guy, or obsessed myspace asshole, why don’t you shoot me an email, to ask me on a date, make more out of my words then they are, just words, after reading a post that you interpreted as a vulnerable and or opportune time for you, to act like you hear a cry for help, and cant wait to console me or some shit like that.”

Even though you think you ‘know me’ via my ‘blog’ … I don’t know you at all!!

If I somehow keep you company (by reading my blog) while you are on the road away from your family and wife, traveling from hotel room to hotel room, it is not my job, or responsibility, or close to any of my non existant desire to fill that gap in your life by being the subject of a barrage of emails. Nor do I enjoy the disturbing emails, when the attempt to make me feel sorry for you game doesn’t wok on me, that follow, when I do not respond to those original uncomfortable emails in the first place, in the manner expected, or wanted, or needed…

While I seem to have no boundaries when it comes to my writing, I have very specific! clear! strong! non-bendable! non-breakable! non-negotiable! boundaries in my life.

One of those boundaries, that I will not even consider bending, not even consider for as long as a fart lingers in the air, is having an internet relationship with some dood on myspace, which I have addressed now 10000 times, or some scary, evil, nasty ass, married guy complaining about how his wife doesn’t sleep with him anymore, and how I could, “help him out?”

First… eeew.

Second…Hey! NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM. Get a divorce if you are so miserable, or at best get some much needed therapy, really, you need it. 250 emails – in.one.day.- is a problem! Maybe YOU should send YOUR WIFE 250 emails in ONE day? Or maybe YOU did and you FREAKED her the FUCK OUT TOO!

I would like to FORMALLY, OFFICALLY, Copy write a CLEAR statement for the Internet record…

I do not! I will not! ever ever…EV-A? EV-A? ever ever, have a relationship with a married guy or a stranger from the Internet.

So um, get it? Got it? Good!

Okaythanksbye!

Consider yourself deleted and or banned if you are here (on my page, my sight) for any of the aforementioned reasons!!

If you are a cool person, (or any AND ALL ‘real life’ family / friend) with something funny, or witty to say, like BFD! BFNC! Jen! Leslie! MO! (Cascade peeps!!) Olly! Michael! Dan! FV! Harry! Or, Jack! Feel free to hang out here, read, and hellz yeah comment! Damn it!

Otherwise! Bug! Off! Rot! in bloody hell!

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  • Anonymous

    you can be sure I am safe. (But I guess all the real pscho killers would say that right before they gave you candy and chloroform)

  • meleah rebeccah

    ha ha ha

    candy and chloroform

    so true

  • Anonymous

    -And yes…be very afriad of who you meet on the internet. You can never really know. Better for you to be safe.

  • meleah rebeccah

    Damn right! I’m safe!

  • THEQUEENOFPERSIAâ„¢

    THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT PARTS TO THIS POST WHERE DO I BEGIN?

    HERE ARE SOME OF MY FAVES…

    PLAYFUL BANTER, WHEN YOU ANOUNCED YOU WERE CURRENTLY FREAKED OUT, WHEN YOU DIDNT MEAN FOR MYSPACE ASSHOLES TO SHOOT YOU DATE EMAILS, WHEN YOU DIDNT RESPOND TO THE ORIGINAL UNCOMFORTABLE EMAILS IN THE FIRST PLACE, & WHEN YOU DIDNT EVEN CONSIDER BENDING YOUR BOUNDARIES AS LONG AS A FART LINGERS IN THE AIR.

    JUST TO NEAME A FEW GOOD PARTS.

  • meleah rebeccah

    I really hope I didnt LEAVE off a NAME in that LAST paragrah

    I was HEATED when I wrote that

    Oh shit, like AL… damn oh well I did say the ALL INCLUSIVE “real life / family & friends”

    shit, now, I feel like I needed a prepared acceptance speech to go in that paragraph!

  • Carol

    Hey, you seem to love comments a lot. lol!!

  • Oh yeah, it’s Mr. Francisco to you

    Holy crapola batman. At least FV was mentioned as being a good samaritan (I think!).
    Now I know I should give you more chicken and fish recipes to stay in the “safe” zone of all things.
    Don’t forget your acceptance speech for today’s blog.

  • meleah rebeccah

    THANKS FV!!

    I SO!! NEED!! THE FOOD / RECEIPES THAT WILL FILL ME UP, WITHOUT HURTING ME!!

  • Harry

    WOW.

    LOL.

    Im not married…yet. My gf wants me to pop the question but I am skeerd to do it AGAIN! Oh and I cannot afford a ring because I am that single dad dood!

    Thats probably why I am only your bud who is trying to get you to QUIT SMOKING! lol.

    Oh and I live in Chicago which means I am realistic knowing one of 3 things.

    1. I am not moving to Jersey or even considering buying a plane ticket to stalk you there.

    b. Even though you are my dream girl Leah Remini in the flesh I still would never put even you above my two beautiful kidz whom I adore!

    3. That realistic thing pops into my head and always tells me dood you have never even heard her voice! (Although I did hear your friends voice when she was doing the hair tie thing).

    Oh and btw my dear gf has no idea I talk to you or any of my other “cyber buddies”, as I am sure she has her own!

    Attention all psychos: Leave the poor woman alone she is just trying to raise her child and have some form of creative outlet! It is not an invitation to make her miserable!

    Btw: Dont smoke okay. 🙂

    me………….

  • meleah rebeccah

    Hey HARRY!

    Well, I am loud VERY LOUD (my voice, SAME AS LEAH REMINI, LOUD AND SNOTTY, AND BLUNT! But, my boobs are way bigger!)

    and I know !! you are SAFE !! And good!! And sweet!! And SMART!! And FAR FAR FAR away!!!

    And ( like the best dad in the world except, of course, for MY DAD)

    that’s why your included in the “Id like the thank this academy award to…” speech!!

    Thanks for defending me against the losers out there!

    PS…Im WORKING ON IT …… THE WHOLE NOT SMOKING … THAT IS

  • Anonymous

    Who the hell are these stalkers anyhow? Do they live near you? Im sorry to hear you are having issues with that but there are alot of psychos out there. Its amazing what scumballs are lurking on the internet.

    The Internet is like a goldmine for them.

    HARRY

  • meleah rebeccah

    There was just one weirdo in particular who annoyed the fuck out of me….A married man wanting some email sexcapades

    But I think? That post helped scare / shove / cut-him off?

    Your a guy…

    Wouldn’t YOU take THAT POST as a HINT?
    OR RUN AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE NOW…???

  • meleah rebeccah

    AND WHY DONT I HAVE ANY “WOMEN READERS?”

    AM I THAT….. ROUGH?

  • meleah rebeccah

    MICHAEL!!!

    YEAY!! I HAVE MISSED YOU!

    THANKS FOR THE COMMENT. AS I AM A WHORE WHEN IT COMES TO THAT

    I DIDNT GET ALL EXPLICIT BECAUSE MY MOM AND DAD READ THIS BLOG, AND THEY WILL GET ALL OVER PROTECTIVE / SKEERED THAT SOME PSYCHO WILL KILL ME OR SOMETHING….

    SO I KEPT IT LIGHT AS POSSIBLE

    HOWEVER I AM A HUGE JAON FAN, HER PAGE ALONE IS BEAUTIFUL AND SHE IS A SMART LADY, SO I AM A FAN! IM EASY LIKE THAT TOO… JUST NOT WITH MARRIED WEIRDOS

    ID LOVE TO HAVE ANOTHER WISE WRITING WOMAN IN MY LIFE

    THANKS MICHAEL,

    ONE DAY … I WILL IM ,

    I WILL CALL,

    HELL I MAY EVEN SHOW UP IN AC WITH
    JEN (AT SIXES N SEVENS-ALL ABOUT HIM/JENWEISS/QUEEN OF PERSIA/MUSIC ON MY MIND) ECT ECT ECT

    SO UM, YEAH….ILL BE ALL OVER JOAN BLOG N A DAY OR SO!

    AND THANKS FOR NOT BEING A CREEPY SCUM BAG

    ME!

  • Michael

    Unfortunately this sort of this is all too typical, at least from what I hear.

    Email Joan on her blog. She has had A LOT of experience with this kind of thing. I’ll let her know about it if you like. Her stories are a lot more gross and explicit than what you’ve listed here.

    She’s actually gonna post a post of MINE, since the nature of it is sensitive to my current place of employment. It should be up tomorrow or the day after.

  • Anonymous

    Hey sweetie…well i was worried about posting a comment but did see my BFNC on your okay list..at least I think I am still okay.. I don;t blame you for being angry about getting hit on by married men. I have heard that from my other single friends and like you they don;t want to go near even someone who is separated but has not made up his mind. So keep up those barriers and don;t get involved. well if it is okay to say..miss u babe.. xoxo bfnc

  • Anonymous

    ps..don;t chew on tooth picks.. LOL bfnc..xo

  • meleah rebeccah

    BFNC:

    ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

    I LOVE YOU

    ME

  • Michael

    Oh btw, the Brides of Dracula are always really HOT! How do you think they got to close to so many guys???? lol….

  • Michael

    I must be growing up. I decided to scrap the post I was sending Joan out of loyalty. The work situation has been really supportive thru my ankle problems and my mom and so if one thing occurred that I didn’t think was cool, I decided to keep a lid on it. It was never directly addressed to me anyway.

    Talk to you soon!

  • meleah rebeccah

    BFNC….

    TOOTH PICKS HAVE NEVER BEEN SO SCARY !

    GOTTA LOVE HOUSE!

  • meleah rebeccah

    MICHAEL

    AGREED…ABOUT JOAN, AND THE HOTNESS OF THE “BRIDES OF DRACULA”

    HA HA HA HA

    ps… im sooooooo happy your MOM is doing better and you are feeling better

    isnt it great? when your JOB understands / supports what you are going thru!

    good call …. shhhhh…. dont wreck a good thing

    its funny, (ish) we spend all this time worrying about JOB stuff, and then they (work people) turn around, go ahead and understand.. even get all supportive!!

  • Anonymous

    As your Mother, and as a Woman, I laughed my butt off…. if it has a penis it has shit for brains.

    oh honey… keep doing what makes you happy, you are an excellent writer.

    LOVE MOMMY

    ps…. your father (on the other hand has turned into Poppa Sye, and thinks this whacko is going to stalk and kill you… and maybe? you should stop blogging… but you know how he likes to over-react to nothing and imagines things that will never happen)

  • meleah rebeccah

    oh god! at least he didnt say they are “comming in from from roof…”

    dont let daddy read these kinds of posts!!

  • Anonymous

    Dear M
     
    Great effin blog today!!! God, I love you when you’re pissed! Of course, I kind of love you when you’re not pissed off, too, but that’s a story for another itme. Here’s a flash: hot women who appear vulnerable and/or available attract sleaze. It’s like a magnet kind of thing. In your blog, you seem, at times, to be in need (the TIRE, your medical situation, getting Rx’s filled, etc.) of a little rescue – not a lot, a little. Ordinarily, it’s OK because that’s sorta sweet and endearing. The problem doesn’t lie with you , it lies with others who, like sharks, smell blood in the water and think, “VICTIM”. Boy, did THEY make a mistake! Whatever you may have been in life, I didn’t know you. Now, however, you are an ass-kicking, names-taking hellcat. Great as a friend or lover, dangerous if pissed off. I don’t know how other people feel, but you make me feel like I’m breathing in pure oxygen – pretty heady stuff. Rock on, you magnificent creature, you!
     
    Hopelessly fascinated by the energy
     
    Al

  • meleah rebeccah

    AL!!

    Yes!! The man who “gets” me!!!

    The man who had READ some of the most intimate details of my life (THE BOOK) Thank you!!

    Thanks! For getting this post too!!

    Hahahha

    See I was just sick! Now that I’m not, bring on the noise, bring on the pain, I will fuck you up!! If you dare cross the line….

    And ….IN A PUBLIC FORUM

    While yes I can be, as you said, “endearing”, at times, when I let down the exterior, but again, NOT AN INVITATION !!

    I felt bad two seconds after I hit publish…

    I said NOOOO

    OMG !!

    I didn’t give an official “shout out to AL!!” in that last paragraph!

    I’m soooo glad to feel like myself again, act like myself, think like myself…. BE MYSELF again

    Thank you…as always…

    For the devotion, support, and love (AND! NOT!! in a scum-bag way) to my writing

    You are a true GENTELMAN.

  • Leslie

    That’s the reason I don’t allow anonymous comments on my blawwwwwwgs dood. We talked about that before.

    Love you chica, and glad your better. Here’s hoping a real life FD28 comes along soon dfor the CD.

    xoxo

  • meleah rebeccah

    yes wise one…

    yes!!

    however they werent even COMMENTS, the assault was after… my dumbass went ahead and sent a THANK you PERSONAL email, to a “strange-cat”

    and well, lets just say….. lesson learned!!!

    I LOVE YOU

    I MISSSSSSSSSSSS YOU

    I wanna run away and hide out in NH

    the next psycho, just may send me into witness protection (that’s when I move in with you guys..m’kay?)

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