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Welcome to the first day

Welcome to the first day of feeling LIKE ! MYSELF! again.

My house is CLEAN!

I AM CLEAN!

My sheets are laundered!

My legs, are smooooooooth!

I feel like I have been living in a foggy dream the last two weeks.

I am here to announce the fog has lifted. I’m back to the bitter, hostile, abrasive, attitude wielding, smug bee-atch we all know and love, or hate!

Man, it feels good to be ME again!

Word to the unwise, it’s not a good idea to shave your legs, after an excessive amount of time has past, with a $1.99 razor. Do yourself a favor and spend the $8.00 on a Mach Three. Otherwise you may find yourself doing a horrible Cher impersonation after each stroke…

If I could turn back, Ta-ooooooooo-uuum, if I bought a better razor.

“Ow-oooooooo-uuuuum, Ow-oooooooo-uuuuum, Ow-oooooooo-uuuuum”

Yeah, I made that noise in my shower.

Also, do not apply scented lotion to $1.99 freshly shaved legs unless you are a sadomasochist and enjoy sending a dazzling spray of pain through out your body.

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  • Michael

    Glad you’re feeling well again! Talk to you soon!

  • meleah rebeccah

    thanks michael!!!

    it feels sooooo good to feel better

  • meleah rebeccah

    mom you kick ass yes i did read it because i love you so so soooooooooooooooooooooo much.xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

  • meleah rebeccah

    justin!!

    are u playing with my MAC when i’m not looking???

    i love you sweety BUT NO TOUCHING THE MAC OR THE BLOG UNLESS I AM SUPA-VIZIN’ YO’ ASS

    love mommy

  • Anonymous

    She’s baaaaaaaack! And that’s a good thing. Welcome back, Wild Child. Later.
     
    Al

  • meleah rebeccah

    oh hell yes!!

  • Anonymous

    You are back on your game! This may be the best post yet. I loved it!!!

    Jack

  • meleah rebeccah

    AMEN!

    I just needed 756 hours of sleep to write three paragraphs of funny

  • Anonymous

    Let’s face it…you have always been good, it was just taking a break!

    jack

  • meleah rebeccah

    aww… that’s sweet of you to say.

  • centraljerseyrunner

    I’m glad you are feeling better Meleah, I should buy you a good razor for your birthday eh?

  • meleah rebeccah

    Thanks Central Jersey Runner person! and welcome!

  • Anonymous

    Hi there…I feel like your stalker! OMG…you can SO write! And if you are ever published I want to know about it!

    I accidentally “tripped” over your blog and have been reading for the past two hours – here at work where I should be WORKING, but instead have been reading your blog which I clicked on for the hell of it when I stumbled into your blog from a comment you made on quitnet.

    I’ve been a member of quitnet since I quit smoking two years ago – hardly ever go there anymore but for one reason or another went there today and was just browsing when I saw your homepage. I don’t know you from Adam but I just couldn’t stop reading – you are a gifted writer – for real! Whatever you do, don’t stop!

    That’s really all I wanted to say…good luck to you – on your book AND on your quitting smoking – it’s damn hard to do – quit smoking I mean – but you can do it!

    Now I really really must get back to work!

    GOOD LUCK!

    (Mortymd)!!!!

  • OLLY

    I’LL KEEP THAT IN MIND NEXT TIME I GO TO SHAVE MY LEGS DARLINK.GLAD YOUER FEELING BETTER NOW RELAX AND TAKE IT EASY THE WORLD HASN’T CHANGED MUCH WHILE YOU WERE ILL.
    LOVE YA BUNCHES BEE-YATCH

  • Anonymous

    Hey again…and thanks for your thanks! hehehe…it’s weird, but you know how so many times you feel or think something but you never really express it to the one person who would appreciate it? I’m glad I didn’t let the change pass me by this time.

    Very seriously, your writing really is good and maybe I’ll continue “stalking” you with your permission! Wait! Is it consiered stalking if you have the person’s permission? Hmmmmm….hehehe

    keep on what you’re doing – I truly believe you’ll make it one day – I hope so – I’m running out of good books and authors! Just think…one day I might be checking YOUR book out of the library and I’ll be able to say…”I knew her when…”!!!!!!

  • Anonymous

    would you like a new razor blade???
    FV

  • Leslie

    I’m glad to hear that your feeling better! xoxo

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