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UPDATE: THEN GO BACK TO “DELURKING”

So I smoked three cigarettes before 11am yesterday, with the bad day and all. (the hair, well… lets just say, I’m glad it’s a new day. but, as you can see, it still requires being tied up and restrained as much as possible.)

No one, not even me, thought I’d make it through the day without failing, or loosing, “the dare.”

But, I didn’t smoke again!!! Until I was on my way home from the GI DOCTORS office.

When I did have that last smoke, I only had HALF because that would leave me the OTHER HALF for after diner. (VIA APPLEHEADS dare. It was her dare, so I agreed to her rules, and she said HALF-n-HALF CAN count as ONE cigarette.)

So, even with all the odds against me, I MADE IT, with four cigarettes!! I have to admit, if it WASN’T for that DARE, I would have smoked more.

Before I went to bed I was laying there, thinking, “No one will know? Who cares anyway? Really? What’s the big deal, just have a few drags.” Then I told myself to “shut.the.fuck.up.” (now I have multiple people living in my head, this is nice…it’s like having my very own bad company, that over stays their welcome)

But, the point is… I didn’t! break the rules, or cave, or cheat. I smoked 4 cigarettes.

Now, today kicked!ass!

I was ON time! I finished a ton of stuff! I had good lunch, that didn’t send me into an allergic reaction, or irritate the Crohn’s! freeking MIRICALE!

AND, the best part of today was that I laughed soooo hard . At myself mostly, but I really laughed.

One of my best friends and I made up this imaginary commercial that cracked my shit up as I wrote it. I would love to post it, but, its waaaay too offensive and all about insurance, no one will get it and others would have me assassinated for it…(will email to personal family / friends)

Time went by so fast it, due to laughing and being crazy busy, that I only had ONE CIGARETTE all damn day.

It was at 230pm.

It is now 907pm. (after this post, I will smoke a second one, but I think that’s IT for today)

In other “news,” I am proud to announce that I have a date!

Yeay! I have a date!

Can you beeeeleeeeeeve it!

AFTER. FIVE. MONTHS!

A DATE!!

with TV.

(yes, that’s right I have hit rock bottom and I am okay with that. It works for me, and I don’t have to shave my legs!)

Anytime there is even the possibility of an Alec Baldwin apperance (YUM!) I cannot be interrupted!! So while drooling over my TV screen, I will not smoke as I am in love with Mr. Baldwin and all his TUDE! (and bloated-sweaty-ness) and the show is pretty good too!

Back on a high note again…whew!

NOW GO… DELURK

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  • Anonymous

    hey sweetie…i know you may feel you are cheeting or not doing well with this quiting but the fact that you are trying and have not said “fuck-it” why bother makes me proud of you. As as far as your date with the TV..well I have one the only problem I don;t have some hot chick to watch and really not into Alex Baldwin. LOL.. Just keep on trying because after all these years it is not something that can be turned off overnight. hugs and kisses.. your boyfriend from NC. 🙂

  • AT SIXES AND SEVENS

    wooooah wooooah woooah –
    boy friend?
    n.c.?
    whats going on here?

    Hi meleah,

    Its your best friend,
    just stopping by to say
    I LOVE YOUR BLOG THOROUghLY.

    Keep writing mongoose,
    I love your ideas!!!
    (but not enough to steal ’em)

    -said the same way as:-
    (but she’s not blind) & (It’s not illegal)

  • Anonymous

    Dig the blog. I found your site one day while creating a myspace page ( can you say loser) lol. Anyway Im hooked on reading your daily adventures( kinda my daily soap). Hang in there on the smoking thing, take it a day at a time. When I drive the Trnpke I will make sure I will stay to the right.

    Dan

  • meleah rebeccah

    DAN…..

    WHO ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU? back story? any story? ARE YOU a FORMER CASCADE-IAN??

    and I LOVE YOU for commenting…no matter WHERE you are from, no matter WHO YOU ARE (in an internet “unicorns and rainbows” sort of communiy way….since you are a stranger?)

    unless of course you are some kind of STAKLER SHADOW weirdo, then I dont love you at all.. not.even.a.little. and please don’t kill me?

    well…. either way…..serial killer? fellow cascadian? mystical anonymous blogger? guy from qnet? …I LOVE that I am your soap opera, THIS SHIT REALLY HAPPENS EVERY DAY…. I have to write it!! I am GLAD you READ IT!! and LIKE it enough to comment!!

    THANKS!!!!

  • Anonymous

    Sorry not a cascade-ian. Hell no not a stalker!!!! LOL. What story would you like I have tons. Im from right here in Jersey and feel for your Walgreens problems they suk. To be honest this is my first blog reading and rsponse ( I gotta get out more often)

    Dan

  • meleah rebeccah

    I was JUST kidding about the serial killer stalker thing!!!

    Welcome to my .fucked.up.world!! ware a helmet!

    but really… welcome my new reader DAN!

    please, feel free…COMMENT,EMAIL, MYSPACE…bring it! all of it!

    I would love to KNOW some of the people that “read me”…

    IM FLATTERED (red faced and embarassed…ME! miss shameless!!)

    THANK YOU!!!

  • meleah rebeccah

    jen…AT SIXES AND SEVENS…

    I LOVE YOU, I DO….. (preface to pissing you off)

    and you KNOW THATS Unlce BOB playin’,

    ME a BOYFRIEND? yeah…. right.

    even with SPECIAL OPERATIONS training NO ONE can HANDLE, DEAL, PUT-UP-WITH, or STAND my sorry ass. (thus my date with TV)

    BUT, um.. I only “stole” Leslies BLOG cus I CAN….

    she is my BIG SISTER that promotes and supports…..any / all my writting, drawing / breathing. It’s a CASCADE thang.

  • Lauren

    Ok…now I feel obligated to “sign in” and let you know that I’ve read your blog!

    Day 12, STILL not smoking! Every single day I live this way I am shocked by it.

    I am married and have a date with my TV even WITH him there! Have a great weekend.

  • meleah rebeccah

    awww!! Thank you sooo much LAUREN!

    And keep it up!

    YOU are doing sooooo great!!

  • Anonymous

    This is my comment! The comment is for you! I’m ‘delurking’…???

    Good for you on the ciggies! Getting down to 4 from 40 is like insane! You so rule!

    You never had smoke privs at cascade, did you? We’d have to make two packs last all week so we’d smoke quarter ciggies. It was horrific and the stinky packs with the 1/4 to 3/4 ciggies in it were horrific. I so do NOT miss those days… *shudder*

    Keep up the good work!

    Monica

  • Anonymous

    You have the bod of a 19 year old : )

    You should be dating more then just your TV with that figure…ha, ha.

    ROB WALSH

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