header image

Totally Useless Information

[an email from my mother]

In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?)

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick?)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than “going blind!”)

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let’s just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband’s illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England – but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

In Cali, Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.)

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only “in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.” (Is this a great country or what? Well, not as great as Guam!)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of???…Did the government pay for this research??)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Ah, Geez.)

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish don’t have brains. (I know some people like that, too.)

And Lastly,

Turtles can breathe through their butts. (And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

If you liked my post, feel free to subscribe to my rss feeds

  • lol!! That was absurdly hysterical….I can’t wait to get home and tell my son the last one!! Sounds like something he would make up in one of his random thought moments…..

  • Meleah

    I know I though some of these were FAKE… but apparently, they are FACTS. who knew!

  • LOL! Sometimes I just LOVE this type of useless FACT πŸ™‚ so funny πŸ™‚

  • Wow. I really don’t know how to respond to this. I have some fish tanks so I guess I wouldn’t mind shopping at the fish store in Liverpool.

    I want to see an ant drunk.

  • I will never live in Cali, Columbia, but Hong Kong looks like a great possibility. I’ve begun doing bare hands exercises immediately.

  • Meleah

    RMH: right? me too!

    Ricardo: ha ha ha

    Ma Titwonky: I have been enjoying your blog so much, thanks for stopping by mine! Just remember, it’s always a good idea to stretch before taking a cheating man’s life!

  • Homer Simpson
  • Meleah

    Homer Simpson: I don’t know who you are, (you don’t have a blog) Nor do I know you in my ‘real life’ but you are pretty good at getting me GOOD INFORMATION. Thanks! πŸ™‚

  • I can face the day now!!!

    Hysterical!!

  • Homer Simpson

    More strange sex laws. I have not idea if any of them are ture.

    http://www.bertc.com/sexlaws.htm

  • well,, at least we have further proof that your mom has an excellent sense of humor!!!!!!

  • Homer Simpson

    Snopes, http://www.snopes.com/ is always a good place to start.

  • well it’s not totally useless information… you may have saved a lot of people from vacationing in Indonesia πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  • Meleah

    MINX: I love to make you smile, if I can get a laugh even better!

    Paisley: I love my mom, she’s put up with a lot of shit over the years.. It amazes me that we speak, let alone exchange funny emails.

    Dawn: Right! what the hell is THAT all about?

    Homer: Thanks! !!

  • Do you know where your mother found that?

  • Meleah

    Hey! Goldy! Welcome back.. Happy Birthday! Um no,I don’t know where my mom found that but I will ask her… why? do you know?

  • Guam, here I come!
    I second the recommendation for snopes.com too.

  • FV

    DAMN!!!

    You mean to tell me if I find a turtle and gives it a cigar to puff the actual smoke may come out from its butthole???? and I thought I’ve seen it all. I should try it HAHAHAHA

    Do we need a visa to visit Guam for a few days???

  • Lis

    I’ve never even met your mum and I like her already.

Blog Directory for Manalapan, New Jersey