I am partial when it comes to ‘All Things’ Tina Fey. Because as far as I am concerned, I could watching still frames of her facial expressions on a continual loop and laugh all day. She’s smart. She’s beautiful. She’s hilarious. She’s cutting edge. She is totally-super-awesome.
And, she is my hero.
The End.
I’ve loved her since she started working on SNL.
She was ‘The First Woman’ in the history of Saturday Night Live to be promoted to the position of head writer in 1999.
And of course she was absolutely brilliant when she played the role of Sarah Palin.
Seriously.
I also think Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are The Female Dream Team of Comedy, because they had me laughing for Two Whole Hours during this movie.
But….
I have to say, that my FAVORITE role that Tina Fey plays? Has to be Liz Lemon.
I live to watch her on Thursday nights co-staring beside my husband on the NBC television show 30 Rock.
[The role of Liz Lemon, head writer for a challenging live TV show and extreme introvert, played by Tina Fey, delivers non-stop uber relatable content to the viewer. Liz Lemon is a frustrated single woman, lacking in social skills. She tries to get the best out of her fellow writers and support the insane cast of actors, all while trying to appease her boss, a meddling pain in the neck network executive, Jack Donaghy, played by Alec Baldwin. Tina Fey displays her smart comedic genius in every episode. You are guaranteed to fall in love with her and the character Liz Lemon.]
So, in light of the fact that today is my favorite female’s birthday, I am going to re-post two stories of my own.
[I am in NO WAY comparing myself to Tina Fey, or her character Liz Lemon, but, I am re-posting these blogs because my friends have often referred to these particular stories as my very own Liz Lemon ‘Moments’ . And I would like to honor my idol Tina Fey.]
* The First Story: The Black Out
With winds gusting in excess of 80 MPH and a terenchal deluge (rainfall: 75 inches of water in less than 15 seconds) a ‘Black Out’ was inevitable. However, being separated from my family and trapped in someone else’s house was not a favorable condition.
First of all, I am a baby. I am not ashamed to admit that I am scared of the dark. And I am a big ole crybaby when it comes to driving during inclement weather. (Or I would have driven home.) But for the reason that I have neglected my ‘best friend’ for at least a month, I would have never been in the situation I am about to discuss.
Yeah. Um.
When you are in a house that does NOT belong to you and yours, in the middle of a black out, and you don’t know where anything is, coupled with an alarm that would not stop ringing sirens, and a dog that would not stop whimpering, it is not exactly a good idea to try and use the bathroom.
Unfortunately for me, I had the urgent ‘gotta go-gotta, go-gotta go right now’ kinda feeling with no clue as to when the house would be illuminated again.
If you add up all of the aforementioned conditions, you can only imagine the kind of disorientation and sweating I started to experience. Disorientation may induce bad decisions, like not asking the host if you can take a candle with you. Instead, I went in to the restroom blindly.
It wasn’t too hard to locate the actual ‘bowl’ but it was a little more difficult to find the ‘paper’. I used my hands to feel around the wall in hopes of not falling off of the bowl. After I did find the paper, I was met with the biggest challenge. Starting a new roll. In the pitch black. This particular roll did not have the little starter flap of paper for one to pull from. No. This roll was sealed shut solid all the way around.
What is a person to do?
1. Claw at the roll violently.
2. Attack the paper until you rip enough to create streamers.
3. Discard the streamers in the area where you presume the trashcan is located.
4. Proceed to dispense a normal amount of paper to finish your reason for being in there.
5. Apologize for the mess you made *later.
*Later = when the lights come back on, and the bathroom looks like this.
(minus Michael Keaton and the small children.)
Lesson?
Do not put off seeing your friends until the last minuet. This way you don’t have to go see them on a day wherein you have been forewarned about the bad weather that is on the horizon.
Or, simply ask for a source of light.
*[Of course the above bathroom entry cannot compare to THIS BATHROOM STORY.]
Anyway……
* The Second Story: Lesson Learnt
Never leave my house without my digital camera ever again.
Even if my camera was old and broken. Even if 9 times out of 10 the picture comes out blurry. And even if my camera used batteries like a prostitute uses condoms. It still would have been really handy to have in my possession when I saw Sanjaya shopping at my local CVS.
Oh alright, so it wasn’t Sanjaya. And, for the record, I don’t even like Sanjaya. Not.Even.A.Little. But I did frantically search my purse for said crappy digital camera when the Sanjaya look-a-like-could-have-been-practically-identical-twin strolled into the store.
After shoving my hand violently around my gigantic purse for a solid 8 minuets, I still couldn’t locate my camera. That’s when I realized I had left it at home to download other photos.
As I wondered aimlessly into the parking lot, I was lost in deep thought about how funny that post would have been. I was disappointed for missing the perfect opportunity to hold a ‘Spontaneous’ Sanjaya look a like contest.
Distracted, preoccupied, and contemplating the words I would have used in my ‘almost post’ I began unloading the bags from my shopping cart into THE WRONG CAR.
Um. Yeah.
I was too busy cussing myself out for being ill prepared, that I wasn’t even aware I was putting my bags, into someone else’s car.
(Because, you know, Hyundai’s and Nissan’s look so much alike. Right?)
The only clue to the situation I had gotten myself into was how clean the back seat of the wrong car was. The back seat of my car is filled with empty coffee cups, cigarette packs, 15 pairs of shoes…all of which I did not see as I was neatly placing bags into… ‘The Wrong Car’.
First I panicked. Then I rapidly scanned the parking lot for any onlooker, or the possible owner of the car. Thankfully no one saw me as I quickly removed the bags…and thankfully I wasn’t busted.
Lesson Learnt?
There may be a celebrity look a like at any given time, in any given store. Never leave my house without my digital camera ever again. I might end up in jail for a really embarrassing misunderstanding, one that infers to unlawful entry or even burglary.
——————————————————–
Happy 40th Birthday Tina Fey, Liz Lemon.
Your post about putting your stuff in the wrong car was hilarious (yes, I do enjoy laughing at others). Happy birthday to Tina Fey!
Please feel free to laugh at me – ANYTIME!
I loved it!!!!
YAY! Oh Michael C!
You were the 1st to point out these were my Liz Lemon days!
xoxoxoxo
What a fun post! I love Liz AND Tina too. She's also my hero!
She totally rocks my world. And I say that in the straightest way possible.
I love Tina too!
Now, Meleah, where the hell were your cigarettes and lighter during the blackout??? That lighter could have come in mighty handy!
Yeah!
Where the heck WERE my cigarettes and lighter! Im never without them!
I love that about you!
🙂
You sound smert.
Thanks Moog.
They were certainly Liz Lemon moments for you. The toilet paper scene is just soo funny. Classic Meleah. You really do have a comic flair.
I love Tiny Fey too. She really is a cut above the rest. And she looks more like Sarah Palin than Sarah Palin does. Happy Birthday, Tina!!!
Ok, let me start by saying…….
Bwhahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha!
Bwhahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
OMG, BOTH your stories were freakin' HILARIOUS!!! I am so glad you reposted these, because I would have missed out on your brilliant humor!
Your second story made me laugh the most, only because I've done the EXACT SAME THING before! I kid you not. Must be a “Libra thing”- HA! And I was sooooo embarrassed. OMG, I felt like a total idiot! But, like you….I kept thinking to myself, “Why does the inside of my car look so clean?” That's because IT'S NOT YOUR CAR, RON!!!!
Listen, I no longer watch TV (or SNL), so I have no idea who Tina Fey is. But if you love her humor, I know I would too! Holy cow, that photo of her playing Sarah Palin is too scary – she looks EXACTLY like her!
BTW, an actress friend of mine from Florida use to be one of the writers on SNL. I have no idea if she's still writing for them, but she got hired back in the late 90's. The woman is brilliant. And hysterical.
Faaaabulous post, girl!
LOVED it!
Aw. Thanks Selma. You'd think I should know my way around a bathroom by now!
Oh Ronnie, YOU? would LOVE Tina Fey! Trust me!
And thank god I am not the only person who put their things in The Wrong Car!!
You are so totally the male gay version of ME. We are Libra Twins!!
even if you had been caught, no one can argue with free groceries!
Oh and I'm horrible with my camera. I'm constantly telling myself that I should carry my camera with me at all times, but I NEVER do. Then I'm bummed later.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! You know when people ask “if they made a movie of your life, who would play you?”. Tina Fey would make an awesome Meleah!!!
Tina Fey rocks it so much I could cry. You might even say she 30 rocks it – HAHAHAHA!!!!!! See? This is why I'm not where Tina Fey is.
Anyway this is my favorite line of the day: “And even if my camera used batteries like a prostitute uses condoms.”
Great stories, Meleah, Liz Lemon should hire you for a writer! Happy birthday to Tina Fey!
Love those! Of course bathroom stories ALWAYS make me happy LOL! I like Tina too – never saw the baby movie but really want to. You know what, you should write a book!
Ive since strapped my NEW digital camera to my actual body since that day!
That? WOULD RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But your joke sounded just like Liz Lemon! So you ARE just AS awesome!
PS: the line about my camera using batteries like a prostitute uses condoms- was the best analogy I could come up with!
Thankfully, I have a new camera that has a much longer battery life!
I love her!
Bathroom stories rock!
And I am trying desperately to write my first book!
xoxoxoxo
God, I LOVE Tina Fey! She's the perfect woman — smart, funny and hot. And she wears smart girl glasses, too!
I'm a Tina Fey fan too. She's wicked funny. I liked her the most in SNL.
I've done that too with the mistaken car identity. But I had a slightly better excuse. Identical minivans. That alone is embarrassing enough! I get into what I thought was my car, only to realize it was not. Then I see a woman coming toward the cars. (There were only two) I panic. We try and rush out of the car. Then I realize I'm busted, so I try to explain. Great, she doesn't speak English. Seriously. So I get in my car, and i think she finally understands, but it was awful. I pray I never see her again.
I've never seen that show before. I'm usually watching Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice on Thursdays. I may have to look it up and watch an episode online though.
exactly
Bathroom follies – there's always gonna be trouble when the lights go out. You coulda blamed the mess on the cat (but we don't have a cat!). Next time, take your cell phone with you. Some phones will give you enough light to “find your way”.
And you are not the only one who has tried to change cars in the parking lot. I've actually had one woman open the passenger door and climb in with me (thought I was her husband). That was a long 5 seconds of awkwardness. At least you could have clean out the back seat for them.
You have such a gift for telling stories. Thank you for seeing the funny side of things to make me laugh.
I know while in the midst of those moments it might not be that funny but to see it later is also a gift.
I absolutely adore Tina Fey, but I have to say I was somewhat disappointed in Date Night. I really expected it to funnier, especially with those two. The outtakes were funnier than the movie. But she is still the goddess of funny.
I didn't see date night – but Im sure I will love it, because I love
everything Tina does. Her expressions alone crack me up.
And, yes, while things might not seem funny at the time?
Hindsight = hilarious.
I just want you to know that I was in the building Tina films 30 Rock in yesterday shooting a show called “Big Lake” which will debut on Comedy Central sometime whenever. My phone actually has a pretty damn good camera on it but it's no substitute for the real deal.
By the way, I'm noticing a strange pattern with you and toilet paper. You're relationship with T.P. might have to change…or maybe not because it makes me laugh.
No question that Tina Fey is one of the funniest and most talented women ever! Bathroom humor is always a giggle.
I love Tina Fey in all her fabulosity.
Love me some Tina!
Ditto!
Please don't kill me but I am not overly familiar with Tina Fey. I have heard that she is really funny. I don't watch 30 rock and I have never watched SNL not because I have an aversion to it, no, I am not a night owl. Unfortunately, I have been cursed with the getting up early syndrome. For instance it is Saturday morning, my daughter will sleep until 10:00am or maybe later my husband isn't working and yet we were both up before 6:30am, how stupid is that??? Hopefully, things will change once my daughter is off to college and I am an empty nester!
Oh, anyways I loved your two posts about your jams, loved them!!! I love starting my morning with a laugh or two!!!
I would never kill you Lucy! But, yes…Tina is really funny.
I could NEVER be a morning person like you. I've tried several times and its
just not going to happen! Im' glad I started your day off with some laughs!
🙂
You are absolutely right about having a digital camera on your person at all times. I don't have a cell phone anymore that snaps pictures so I keep telling myself I should always pack my camera in my purse but I don't and I miss all sorts of things when I am out and about.
I haven't seen 30Rock yet- it is kind of hard to make the time with all the kids activities. I did watch hoarders after you recommended and I loved it in a sick way… so I shall make it a point to see 30Rock sometime soon.
Yeah hoarders is a CRAZY show, but 30Rock is FUNNY!
I know you have your hands full with the kids over there, but its worth
checking out. And NEVER leave the house w/o your camera!!
OMG! That is friggen HILARIOUS!
Its worth checking out!
Ahahahahah! I would have loved to see the expression on your face and HER face when she got into your car! That's hysterical!
I have quite the relationship with TP! I could probably write more stories about bathrooms than anything else!
IM SOOO JEALOUS!
Agreed!
I haven't seen much of her however, she is lovely and what I have caught is really funny.
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com