Every Wednesday I take my 14 year-old-son, Justin, to his weekly Guitar Lessons. He’s been going for approximately nine months now, and he’s becoming quite good, if I do say so myself. The lessons are a half hour long, which doesn’t provide enough time to leave the premises. Therefore, I usually sit in the ‘Waiting Area’ with the ‘Other Parents’ playing the game ‘Bejeweled Blitz’ on my iPhone.
The ‘Other Parents’ usually come alone, but sometimes they bring their ‘Other Kids’ to class while a sibling attends lessons. And 9 times out of 10 the ‘Other Kids’ are pretty well behaved.
Except for this one time….
When a woman decided to bring in ‘Rosemary’s Baby’.
And all hell broke loose.
Disclaimer: I am not a perfect parent, by any stretch of the imagination. I have made a million mistakes. In fact, I’m probably making another one right now. Normally, I do not judge other people and/or their lack of parental skills. And I realize that ALL children have meltdowns, all the time, for various different reasons. I fully understand and I completely sympathize. However, I can certainly tell the difference between a tired, cranky, hungry child, and the ‘Devil’ himself.
I’m probably treading on thin ice here. But I’ve decided to throw caution to the wind and publicly announce that sometimes kids aren’t so cute. In fact, sometimes, they can drive a person bat.shit.crazy.stone.cold.fuck.nuts.
And here’s the perfect example.
The mother of three walked into the waiting area looking clearly exhausted. Her daughter, the eldest, went into her ‘Piano Lessons’ while the two boys, were supposed to sit on the sofa with their mother. One child, the youngest, obeyed his mother without so much as an argument. The other child? Not. So. Much.
I swear on all things holy, I’ve never seen anything like this in my whole life. The kid could not sit still. It seemed as if he had a severe case of ADHD and as if he was overdosing on speed. But, if that wasn’t bad enough, it was obvious the mother had absolutely no control over her own child.
When she tried to reprimand him for behaving badly, he laughed AT HER. And by behaving badly I mean the kid was running back and forth jumping on chairs. He was literally bouncing off the walls. He was yelling and screaming, and spinning, much like the cartoon character the ‘Tasmanian’ devil.
Then, she tried bribing him with gifts in order to get him to calm down. But he just mocked her. Actually, he attempted to impersonate her voice and mimicked her request – in such a tone, that I started to cringe. I was nearly ready to get up and walk out of the room. Much like the other parents I was squirming uncomfortably in my seat. I was sure things couldn’t possibly get much worse. Sadly, I was wrong.
At one point ‘The Devil’ started dumping out the contents of his mother’s purse all over the floor, like a three-year-old, throwing a tantrum. But this kid was no three-year-old. He is probably closer to the age of eleven. The mother begged him to stop, to no avail. Finally, she had enough. She began yelling at him in no uncertain terms to give back HER cell-phone. But that didn’t do a damn thing. He snidely replied, “Make me.” [insert fiery death stare] “Make me.”
Now, I don’t know about any of you – but if I EVER spoke to MY mother like that? She would have slapped me into the next week. “Make, Me?” Seriously, ya’ll. That nearly warrants wire hanger scars.
Alas, as much as I wanted to be angry with the mother, because her out-of-control-kid was seriously disrupting everyone and everything, I couldn’t. In fact, I felt badly for her. Truly.
Her other children appear to be normal, well adjusted, and they certainly knew how to act appropriately, especially in public. They listened and respected their mother’s wishes. They were polite and courteous.
And that really made me wonder….
Are some kids just born ‘bad’? Or is this a learned behavior?
Why else was this child so different from his other two siblings?
And then I was suddenly never SO thankful, to have the kind of son I have. Either that, or I should congratulate myself on a job well done as a parent.
Slyde, you crack me up.
And, you raise a good point.
The kid has obviously gotten away with this over the years, or he wouldn’t be trying it. It should have been nipped in the bud years ago. If I had behaved like that, I wouldn’t have been able to sit for a couple of days, and would have had every privilege yanked for the next month. The problem is that when they get older and try to do that, someone with no patience for assholes will probably break his nose.
BTW, I posted a new cartoon today called “Meeting Meleah”. Just in case you were interested 🙂
You know, Meleah, having lived for three years (plus the four we dated) with Gail’s autistic son, Eric, I now see all these problems through the autistic filter. The way you described this kid isn’t exactly Eric, but close. Especially in public, when overstimulated by too many sights and sounds. Tantrums and meltdowns, and as he grew older, testosterone fueled anger and violence. Besides not knowing in any shape or form how to interact with people, they say autistic kids are emotionally about one third of their actual age. So an eleven year old would behave more like a four year old. I feel terribly sorry for that poor mother, and for the well behaved kids who get the short end of the stick because the other one demands 110% of the energy and attention the parent(s) can muster.
I would have had to leave the room. And when the kid insisted “make me,” I would have made him. Even if he was a child with issues, he should not have been allowed to control the situation the way he did.
I really wonder if he acts that way in school?
I really wonder if he acts that way in school?
I really wonder if he acts that way in school?
I really wonder if he acts that way in school?
I really wonder if he acts that way in school?
SHUT UP! YAY!
SHUT UP! YAY!
SHUT UP! YAY!
SHUT UP! YAY!
SHUT UP! YAY!
Thank you for sharing this with me.
Thank you for sharing this with me.
I don’t think this kid is autistic –
I think he’s just an out of control brat.
And much like you Terri – if my child behaved that way?
I’d “make him” act right.
I don’t think this kid is autistic –
I think he’s just an out of control brat.
And much like you Terri – if my child behaved that way?
I’d “make him” act right.
I don’t think this kid is autistic –
I think he’s just an out of control brat.
And much like you Terri – if my child behaved that way?
I’d “make him” act right.
I don’t think this kid is autistic –
I think he’s just an out of control brat.
And much like you Terri – if my child behaved that way?
I’d “make him” act right.
I don’t think this kid is autistic –
I think he’s just an out of control brat.
And much like you Terri – if my child behaved that way?
I’d “make him” act right.
and they are hot too, by the way 😛
🙂
I hate it when I have to be in the same room with some parents problem child. It’s always uncomfortable and makes you happy abortion is still legal. I think you should be grateful for your son and the fact that you are a good parent!
Thanks, Marty.
We have lessons today – and I am really hoping they don’t show up!
I suppose this was your first encounter with this woman and her child. It would be interesting to know whether this kid behaves the same way at school unless he has been permanently expelled (which wouldn’t surprise me at all and probably the reason for mom’s obvious exhaustion, having to look after him all day long).
I am, though, rather surprised that nobody said anything to the child or his mother. Hell, I would have in a heartbeat! If my kid ever drove me “bat.shit.crazy.stone.cold.fuck.nuts.” (a great line, by the way), I’d build a padded cell and leave him (or her) in there, naked, until he got learned. There are not many unruly children here, but when there are and if their mother (or father) doesn’t say anything, somebody undoubtedly will. Bahamians, particularly the ‘vimen’, will publicly smack an unruly kid’s butt and, if it not be their own kid, give the parent of such child quite a verbal ass-whooping on top of it! Mind you, the circumstance would have to warrant such actions and that is usually uncommon here.
Or, the mother could have a motive: display your child’s extremely bad behaviour in public to ensure a defense of “crime of passion” when she finally murders the little bastard?
😉
“Or, the mother could have a motive: display your child’s extremely bad behaviour in public to ensure a defense of “crime of passion” when she finally murders the little bastard?”
She would have my “get out of jail free” vote – for sure!
We have guitar lessons today – I will be sure to leave an updated comment to let you know what happens with this crazy kid today – if they show up. Let’s hope they don’t!
If the devil spawn isn’t with her this time, check the obits (or the crime section of your newspaper).
😉
If she (or they) do show up, I’d be quite interested in the update. Hmmm, since you live in NJ, maybe it was an experiment conducted by Princton’s psychology department – you know, to see how ‘other people’ in the general public deal with such situations?
(Okay, so I worked for lawyers and watch too much “House”.)
😉
I’m afraid I would be hyperventilating just watching this display. Still, in all fairness, the kid is deeply disturbed. And I imagine his mother is well aware of that. Still, it is difficult to watch. We have friend who’s son is autistic. His behavior at times is much the same as you describe. So difficult. But we really can’t judge against normal kids.
I LOVE HOUSE! And all references about HOUSE! HA!
Okay, leaving here in 20. I’ll give you an update when I get back!
Personally, I think if her kid can’t act right in public,
She should consider leaving him HOME.
I would have put him in the institution a long time ago and let them sort him out. But that’s me.
And you would be RIGHT to do so!
First of all, that disclaimer was funny…the devil himself…haha!
As for whether children are born bad, I’m not sure. It’s a hard one to answer. My husband had another family with his first wife. The youngest (now in his 30s) was constantly in trouble. As much as I’d like to say it certainly wasn’t because of anything my husband did, when I’m objective, I can see a few trouble spots in his parenting skills, and not that I’m an expert, but I will get in there and say, “Hey! Don’t do that!”…ok, not exactly like that, but you get the drift. So was his child born bad, or was he a child who required particular attention and parenting that my husband and his ex were unable to provide….This was a really thought provoking post…hmmm…now I’ll be mulling this over for awhile. xoxoxo
Thanks for your input, Sandra!
My oldest daughter would go into tantrums when she was around 3/4 years old. Screaming, slamming doors, banging her head against the wall, etc. etc. We tried everything – love, stroking, ignoring = nothing violent.
After about 2 weeks of this I just couldn’t take any more. I yanked her out of her bedroom and stuck her in a cold shower. Really. Shut her up immediately. No more tantrums. I still remember her surprised wide eyed “silent” face.
That was 45 years ago and she still remembers it, and has not forgiven me. BUT, we retained our sanity.
Sometimes you just have to take a firm stand.
Good For You!
Sometimes you really have to do whatever it takes!
Good For You!
Sometimes you really have to do whatever it takes!
Siblings can be so different. My oldest grandson is sweet, sensitive (and stubborn) … mostly, he listens. My grandaughter (being the ifrst girl) tries to charm he way out of everything. My middle grandson seems immune to consequences and punishments. Sometimes, if my daughter says “Do you want a spanking?” he says “Yes. Hit me. Hard.” When told not to do something he asks, “What happens if I do?” His Dad’s trying to teach him about consequences. I’d say 75% of the time, he does it anyway. (He’s the one who broke the 52 inch TV in one of my posts) Needless to say, he could be the child you describe sometimes. He’s doing better but it’s a struggle.
Parenting is the toughest job EVER.
yeah I bet he does have an actual issue….esp. if the other kid is so well behaved. but even with issues or abnormalities that kids are born with, there still is usually a way to somewhat control it isn’t there? hm…. i bet it made the time go by faster for you!
Oh hell no.
Every second that kid is in the waiting room – it feels like a decade!
O.o My ass would’ve been beaten raw if I had even thought about that when I was a kid. When my mom or dad told me to do something, it wasn’t optional. And the back-talking?? If I’d said, “make me,” to one of my parents, I definitely would’ve never considered it again after I regained consciousness. I have no children of my own, so I don’t really have any right to say how I’d raise my kid, but she needed to step up and be a parent. Bribing him with treats? Are you kidding me? The only “treat” he needed was a foot up his ass.
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!
“Delete”
“Delete”
“Delete”