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The World’s Shortest Fairytale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, “Will you marry me?”

The girl said, “NO!”

And the girl lived happily ever after.

She went shopping, dancing, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn’t save money, and had all the hot water to herself.

She went to theย  theater, never watched sports, never wore friggin’ lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self-esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time.

The.ย  End.

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  • Arv

    LOL… This is a good laugh… doesnt seem that bad though ๐Ÿ™‚

  • This woman is my hero. I’ll have a life like that someday, you just watch.

  • You’ve got this post tagged as humor, but I thought it was a documentary at first.

  • Lee

    Hmmm….sounds vaguely familiar. Are her initials M-E-L-E-A-H?

  • Why!!!! Why didn’t you post this last August??? I could have learned a life saving lesson!!!!


  • Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, โ€œWill you marry me?โ€

    The girl said, โ€œNO!โ€

    And the guy lived happily ever after.

    He went hunting, the track, drank beer, never worried about the house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell he wanted, never argued, didnโ€™t get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didnโ€™t save money, and had all the hot water to himself.

    He went to the movies, never watched Dancing with the stars, never wore bikini underwear, had high self-esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time.


  • Meleah

    This cheered me up. Considering I’m single FOREVER now.

    The Girl I Would Bring Home to Momma:
    If only I could be as happy as her too!


    I wish I wasn’t single, but since I am (still and probably will be FOREVER) I have to make it funny and less lonely somehow!

    No.You have one of those good husband types!

    HA HA HA
    I never knew the MAN version!

  • Hey, we will be…..both of us…….someday…..then we’ll celebrate !

  • This made me laugh and I can so relate. Being single isn’t so bad, Meleah.. except for the cold feet. Just sayin’….

  • Meleah

    The Girl I Would Bring Home to Momma:

    Cold feet. Ha.

    Yeah, well “Why Being Really Lonely is Sometimes Super Awesome” sometimes its not!

  • I said no and kept the ring! Ha!

  • I want that kind of life too! Just think of how wonderful life is if I can have this man and that man for a few hours each time.
    OH, now I can almost imagine myself walking into a bar, looking for the most attractive guy, saying, “do you have an hour to spare?”
    I’ll get the beer, naked!

  • Wait, the MAN version missed out something – the MAN in the MAN version would be all fat and ugly, from drinking too much beer and eating too much pizza, and will die depressed.

    THE END!

  • You may like this fairytale…

  • Meleah

    Debo Hobo
    Shut Up!

    “MAN version would be all fat and ugly, from drinking too much beer and eating too much pizza, and will die depressed.”


    Bob G:
    That’s Classic.

  • You are hilarious. LOVED this. I am SO up for the whole no lacy underwear creeping up my rear. Who in hell invented that crap anyway? Sign me up for this gig. Well except for the part about saying no to the marriage proposal. I like my resident hunkster quite a bit. Yep.

  • I love that fairy tale.

  • Meleah

    If I had your hunkster-honey I’d be pretty Happy too!

    Us SINGLE people needed it!

  • if i’d have done this, i might be happier on one hand, but i wouldn’t have wonderful girl child and wonderful boy child.

    but now that i have them?

    someone is free to go….

  • That whole “never cooking” thing sounds fantastic.

  • LOLOLOL … good one.

  • That’s one of the things that the south of the border ‘telenovelas’ don’t get right (among the many other things they also miss). The story usually ends when the two main characters walk the aisle to the altar… I think the story would be far more interesting if they were to begin with the moment of the “I do’s”. Then the real drama begins ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Why didn’t I ever hear this before?!?!? DAMMIT!

  • PS:….I have an assignment for you….on my blog….I think you’ll enjoy it! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Eva

    Awesome story! Part of me wishes I had read this four years ago, but then the part of me that has a beautiful kid as a result of my erroneous choice of answers (read: “yes”) is happy that I didn’t say no. ๐Ÿ™‚ My big fat ass wishes I had said no.

  • Meleah

    Ha ha ha ha

    Momo Fali:
    That’s why I like living at home sometimes,
    I never have to cook.


    Thats the point of this.
    There were no “I Do’s”
    That’s why she is so happy!

    Oh you have a good hubby!
    YAY and assignment?

    Aw. Well, I’m glad I have my child too, but thankfully? I’ve never been married!

  • I love this…especially the bit about skipping the lacy lingerie ๐Ÿ™‚ Amen

  • I need to remember that when the urge to start dating again starts to bite at me!

  • Bling! Bling! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Meleah

    Amen is right!

    Good Call!

    Ha ha

  • I get married all the time.

    ehhhh …. some good some bad.

    He Heee ๐Ÿ™‚
    { ok, I made that up }

  • I met this girl once. She is my grandma, the most strong, loving and independent woman I know!!! She does what she pleases when she pleases for WHO she pleases. It’s quite pleasant really.

  • dont give up, or do give up and live happily ever after. Click here to buy shares in Duracell!! Just teasing!

  • Meleah

    You crack me up.

    I hope that I end up like your Grandmother!!!

    Well, whatever happens in my future this was a great fairytale!

  • Parents should be telling this story to their daughters!!!!!

  • Hahaha. If only………

  • Meleah

    Yes they should.


  • You know what? I have to deal with the NHL and NFL at work and can’t stand it so I am the ONLY man who does not watch the super bowl. I just can’t, it gives me a headache.

    I do like the Mets and watch them even though they choke!

    I knew a few girls with very messy places too. Yuck.

  • Meleah

    I think you are THE ONLY MAN that does NOT watch the superbowl.

  • You know what? You are a good writer. Even when you feel down you can verbalize it in a clever, witty way. (And somewhat hidden)

    If she wants to wear that “frigginโ€™ lacy lingerie that went up to her ass” for me, I’m sure that it would make her feel much better. Ah, no. Wait a minute. It’s me that would feel much better. LOL!

    Seriously, you hit a rough patch, but it will pass. It takes time. Give it some time. I’m sure that you will find love again with some wonderful guy, (or hell gal if you wish), when the time is right. The next 3 months, or so are about Meleah. Getting back on your feet again. It will be hard work and not pleasant but, hopefully you will have the tools by then to get your feet back under you. Don’t worry about the stupid guys. They will pop into your life soon enough. (Your young, beautiful, have a lot to offer.) This time is for YOU!

    You did leave a bit of a mystery…”The girl said, โ€œNO!โ€…(?)

  • That was me until I said yes. LOL

  • Meleah

    Ah yes. I know I’m in a ‘dry spell’ right now, and one day I do hope to find my real prince charming, but if he doesn’t show up? I hope I end up like her. In the fairytale.

    Aw. You said YES…and I hope it was worth it!

  • Ha ha – may I reprint this?

  • Meleah


    Sure. Knock Yourself Out!

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