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The Surprise Blind Date Guy, Who Turned Out To Be Totally Super Hot And Awesome [Otherwise Known As ‘Puddy’ From Seinfeld – Only Smarter] And, My Very First Wine Tasting Dinner, Featuring Facebook Status Updates That Could Have Been!

[Note: As promised, I will be writing this blog post in both The First Person and The Third Person. I sure do hope that everyone is happy now?]

Okay people, I was going to write ‘Meleah’s Week In Review’ like I am supposed to write on Mondays. However, in the interest of keeping my blog posts shorter, I am only going to share a few stories from last week, rather than breaking down each individual day. Because honestly? Not all that much happened on Monday, Tuesday or Thursday anyway.

Oh, and I will be peppering this blog post with captioned photos in a lame attempt to distract you from realizing just how long this blog post actually is.

Ready?

Here we go…

Last Wednesday, I was invited to attend my ‘Very First Wine Tasting Dinner’. Which is ironic considering I don’t even drink wine. But, since I was asked by some of my dear friends [who will now and forever be referred to as The Peeps] I just couldn’t say no.

I would like to share with you the highlights and/or cliff notes of that night, via Facebook Status Update Format.

Facebook Status Updates Meleah WOULD HAVE POSTED [if her cell phone had internet access] While Attending Her First ‘Wine Tasting Dinner.’

* Meleah was so excited about attending her Very First Wine Tasting Dinner – she went out of her way to ‘Dress Up’ [like a lady] complete with a skirt and high heels. [And in case anyone is wondering, yes, that does qualify as a miracle.]

* Meleah was so nervous about attending her Very First Wine Tasting Dinner – she showed up a half an hour early. But, Meleah was ‘The Only Person’ who showed up that early, and that only made her all the more nervous!

* Meleah spent the next thirty minutes hoping and praying she had arrived at the Right Place. And, she was quite relieved when the other members of the party finally showed up at the Same Place.

* Meleah felt very uncomfortable attending her Very First Wine Tasting Dinner – having little to no knowledge about wine/champagne. Therefore, Meleah just smiled, and nodded in agreement, AS IF she understood what the other people were talking about. She thinks she may have been able to fool everyone into thinking she belonged there.

* Meleah was way too shy to take pictures at her Very First Wine Tasting Dinner, even though she had been given ‘The Best Seating Possible, With Perfect Vantage Points, Specifically For Taking Photos’.

* Meleah received a valuable education in wine-glass-cleaning complete with special techniques after someone else discovered the wine glasses on the table smelled a little bit funky. Apparently, a good bottle of wine will be destroyed if the wine glass itself is not cleaned properly. And anytime Meleah learns a new ‘Cleaning Trick’ is a GOOD time for her.

* Meleah managed to use her Inside Voice for the duration of a five-course meal.

* Meleah had No Idea two Seemingly Harmless Scallops could wreak SO MUCH havoc, in one’s mouth and/or throat, because Meleah did not realize just how much spicy chili powder was on top of these two Seemingly Harmless Scallops.

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* Meleah was forced to chew on an entire cup of ice just to stop the fiery burning.

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* Meleah also had no idea those two seemingly harmless scallops would haunt her for the duration of the evening.

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* Meleah discovered there is not enough Zantac in the world to cure that kind of heartburn.

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And that my friends, wraps up my very first, ‘Wine Tasting Dinner’.

Now, I believe I promised some of you the story about: ‘A Girl Who Hasn’t ‘Dated’ Or Even Liked ANYONE Since Last February, That Once Had A Crush On A ‘Totally Super Hot Guy.’

However, if you noticed the words “Once Had” I am sure you can deduce that story is no longer relevant. In fact, I have a much better story to tell. This story is called:

The Surprise Blind Date Guy – Who Turned Out To be Totally Super Hot And Awesome, Otherwise Known As ‘Puddy’ From Seinfeld – Only SMARTER.

Now, I almost DID NOT share this story with you, because my mother is convinced that every time I write a blog post that involves any sort of dating theme I jinks myself. Which may or may not be true. But, for whatever reason, I am willing to take that gamble and roll the dice here. Although, I might freak out of this ends up blowing up in my face.

Anyway…

On Friday, I was visiting my favorite person known as Amy The Bartender [Who Plays Tennis But Is Not Ranked] at my favorite place known as KHCC.

It was just like any other day I’ve spent in the corner of the bar, on my computer, and minding my own business. And by minding my own business I mean socializing with everyone inside the building.

One of my girlfriends whom I haven’t seen in a while just happened to stop in that night. And, she could not have showed up at a better time in my life. After chatting and catching up with each other she asked if I was still single. Of course my reply was, YES. Painfully. Single.

While I love spending time with my friends, 99.9% of them are a part of a couple. And while I thoroughly enjoy being invited to all of their houses and to all of their fabulous parties, at times it can feel pretty lonely being The Only Single Girl.

Now, yes, I have written posts before about: Why Being Really Lonely Is Sometimes Super Awesome. And quite frankly, I have been pretty great with being alone. Happy even. It’s been nice with no one else demanding, wanting or needing things from me. It’s been positively agreeable that a man in my life could become a major distraction from reaching my goals.

The best part(s) of being this single, besides not having to shave my legs, or having to get dressed up, or go through the god awful uncomfortable first date silence? I have been able to experience the sheer freedom; to do what I want, when I want, with who I want, and not answering to, or considering anyone else’s needs or feelings. It’s one less person to clean up after. It’s one less load of laundry, and I never ever have to share the remote or fake interest in sporting events.

Except that sometimes, it’s not always super awesome to be lonely. Even now and again, I really do wonder what it would be like to have a boyfriend again. Maybe even a boyfriend that I actually liked. And I miss being in a committed relationship.

Which brings me to the point. Hopefully.

I had just finished expressing how it’s not always super awesome to be totally lonely. And it was as if a light bulb went off over my girlfriend’s head. She suggested that I call, or text, her Single And Available brother, to set up a date for ‘Sunday Sauce’ at her house. This way, if he agreed, there would be a built in ‘buffer-zone’.

While I was hesitant at first, the idea of living the single life forever stings. A lot. So, I decided to be bold. I decided to be brave. And I sent a text message to her brother. After friendly banter we both agreed to meet at his sisters house on Sunday for sauce.

Good. Great. That would give me something to look forward to.

Little did I know my girlfriend had other plans on her mind. Just as soon as I walked away to use the bathroom she called, and spoke to her brother, all the while convincing him to come up to the clubhouse immediately.

By the time I found out he was on his way? It was too late for me to run home and ‘get ready’ to meet him. Like most people, I prefer to put on my game face, and respectable clothing, when making a first impression.

But there I was wearing no makeup, sporting a raggedy ponytail, in black sweatpants, and a baby blue Smurf t-shirt that makes my boobs look like to red balloons stuck to my chest – with nowhere to hide.

All of a sudden, something inside of me said, “If He Cant Take You At Your Worst, He Doesn’t Deserve You At Your Best.” And then I thought, well, eventually anyone who dates me will find out exactly what I look like without any make-up, in sweat pants and a ponytail, especially since that is how I normally look All.The.Time.

So, I resolved to stay in the building to await his arrival, and I remained dressed like a homeless person.

Now, I was NOT expecting him to be funny. I was NOT expecting him to find me the least bit interesting. I was NOT expecting him to be so very incredibly handsome. And I was certainly NOT expecting for the two of us to hit it off seamlessly and perfectly within seconds of meeting each other.

But. Um.

He is very funny. He found me quite interesting. He is so very incredibly handsome. And we totally hit it off within the first sentence exchange.

We ended up staying at the clubhouse until closing, without ever having a single second of that dreaded silence. The two of us chatted about any and everything with wildly flailing arms moving at rapid speeds just like most Jewish Italian People do.

Without giving too much away, I will quote Amy The Bartender the best I can:

“Honestly, I have never seen two people have so much in common, and so much chemistry, that quickly. It’s almost scary.”

And she’s right. By the end of the first date, my head was spinning and I was left wondering, “Is This Too Good To Be True?”

So, I tested the hands of fate.

I figured since I’ve already broken some of my 1st date rules [which by the way have never paid off anyway] what’s the big deal if I break another so-called dating rule?

So. I sent him a text. Thanking him for the Best 1st Date Ever.

And yanno what happened?

We made a second date for Saturday Night.

And that date was just as awesome [if not better than] Friday Night.

And we spent the whole day Sunday texting [and talking on the phone] because ‘Sunday Sauce’ was canceled due to the fact that my girlfriend is currently feeling under the weather.

So…there you have it.
Or at least as much as I am permitted to tell you – for now!

And now, it’s time for me to make my rounds on The Internet and catch up with all your fabulous blog posts!

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  • Good read!. Kudos Meleah 🙂

    The magic words -> “If He Cant Take You At Your Worst, He Doesn’t Deserve You At Your Best”. They work both ways. They do.

    Sorry to hear about the Seemingly Harmless Scallops three fire alarm incident.

  • So exciting!!! 🙂 Big smiles for you kiddo…and rules are meant to be broken. Some of my BEST experiences have come from doing so.

  • Meleah

    Rog:
    Im glad you picked up on that line!
    Thanks for reading.
    And my fire mouth is ALMOST healed!
    🙂

    CuteEllaIsBold:
    Absolutely!
    xoxoxo

  • He sounds like an awesome guy! And you deserve an awesome guy! I can’t wait to hear more… if and when you choose to share more. I’m so excited for you! xoxo

  • Ned

    It usually is an “immediate or nothing” thing when it comes to meeting someone. That’s why I don’t think “speed dating” is such a bad idea. And I don’t believe you’ve jinked anything by writing about this – after all you’ve only revealed what you’re allowed to.

  • amythebartender

    amythebartender had another great weekend at khgc thanks to meleah and all the peeps!! sunday golf was great too!! and amy is so happy that meleah is finally playing, and NOT just taking pics!!! amy hopes next weekend will be just as much fun, and by weekend, she means wed. night, through sunday!!

    AMY THE BARTENDER sent MELEAH The Following Text Message:

    “Amy The Bartender [Who Plays Tennis But Is Not Ranked] Is Really Happy Her Friend Meleah Finally Met A Guy, Who Seems Too Good To Be Real, Who’s Father Has The Same Name As Meleah’s Dad, Who Is A Fan Of Both Chelsea Handler & Alec Baldwin, Who Thinks Amy & Meleah Talking In The Third Person Is Actually Funny, Who Works For A Company That’s Name Is Meleah’s Real Laugh, Who Loves To Ski Like Meleah’s Dad, Who Is A Non Religious Jew, Ad Who Was Able To Text, And Got Meleah & Amy’s ‘s Texting Style EXTREMELY Fast, Otherwise Known As Puddy!

    So, yeah, even SHE thinks he’s perfect and SHE is one tough sell!

  • Jen

    wishing you lots of luck with the mystery man, Mel!

  • dcr

    A wine tasting and you don’t drink wine? Must be the year for it. I don’t drink, so, guess what I won as a door prize at an event this past summer? (I did take a picture but never blogged about it.) A wine basket. Now I am a wine owner. I wonder if I should get a wine cellar to house the wine I don’t drink? Do I have wine glasses? I have goblets. Oh, I have these glasses that look like something people would have drank wine out of in the Middle Ages. Retro. New wine, ancient glasses. They’re not glass, though. Bronze, maybe. They look bronze-ish. I have pictures. Did I ever blog about those? I don’t think so. I cleaned one up all nice and shiny, but I don’t know if I like the tarnished and old look better than the new and shiny look. I wonder if it’s still shiny? Maybe not.

    Congrats on your good first date.

  • Meleah

    Terri:
    Soon. I will share MORE very soon!
    xoxo

    Ned:
    I cant even believe it. Its like The Perfect Man fell out of the sky and into my lap!
    And, Im freaking out over it!

    Amythebartender:
    OMG!
    This week we really we see each other Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun!
    I loved playing golf, and I cant wait to play more and more and more.

    PS: I just got your TEXT with Puddy’s title and I am DYING. I think I need to update this post to include those exact words! ahahahahahah

    JenRinaldi:

    Thank you!
    xoxo

    DCR:
    YAY! Hi!
    Ive missed your comments
    Yeah, I am NOT a fan of wine at all. I’m glad we are on the same page. I think its hysterical that you won a wine basket!
    🙂

  • Wow, I wish my blind dates ended up like that.

  • It sounds very exciting. I will wait with interest as it unfolds 🙂

  • Now why can’t I have a blind date like that? Jeeze. I really hope you didn’t jinx yourself.

  • Meleah

    Brandy:
    I got REALLY lucky!

    Babs:
    Okay, I have even MORE to tell already!

    Silver:
    Don’t EVEN say that!!
    But we did just come back from ANOTHER date, He took me out to sushi tonight, so, I guess I haven’t jinked myself YET!

  • That just sounds perfect and so romantic. I am really pleased for you. I really hope it all works out. Oh, and I usually get bad heartburn from eating chili too. It’s the only thing that does it to me. I really enjoyed this post!

  • AWESOME, Melz 🙂 xoxoxo

  • He sounds awesome 😀 All the best Meleah 😀

  • Good luck, girl. Sounds like you have landed a great prospect.
    I think it is great you started out in homeless mode and you two clicked. You deserve a break and I hope this guy treats you great (or we’ll take care of him).

    I’d to add my two cents on hearburn. I am charter member of that club, you should consider that the scallops were not the only source of your hearburn. Wine will pretty much take me out with a severe case of HB. I used to be regular wine drinker connoisseur (fancy term for wino) when we lived in Germany, but old age has not been kind and I cannot drink too much unless I want to wind up with a hot poker in my stomach all night long. Even doubling up on Prilosec does not seen to help. Red wine is worse. Really shame seeing as I have a number of good bottles of California wine that are gathering dust.

  • Meleah

    Selma:
    Im glad you enjoyed reading this post. For some reason I am so out of practice it took me nine hours to write this thing! I definitely need to start writing for real again!

    Leslie:
    I KNOW
    xoox

    Nick:
    Thanks!

    Agg79:
    I hope this is for real too!

    As for the heartburn? It could only be the food!
    I don’t drink wine! And I didn’t have any wine at the dinner!
    🙂

  • Glad to see you have met someone who seems to appreciate you for who you are; we’re all crossing our fingers and hoping this works out for you.

  • very happy for you! Break the rules girl…it may be the rules that are holding you back from finding your soul mate!!!

  • @ “spicy chili powder was on top of these two Seemingly Harmless Scallops.” : Were the firefighters of Ladder 69 unavailable to answer your 4-alarm fire? 😉

    Good Luck on your new romantic adventure! 🙂

  • Meleah

    BobG:
    Im crossing my fingers too!

    HeatherOSB:
    I am breaking ALL of the rules.
    So far we’ve been out:
    Friday, Saturday, Monday. And he’s meeting me [w/ my girlfriends] for dinner after I finish playing golf on Wednesday. So yeah, that will be 4 dates in 6 days and I am loving the pace!
    🙂

    MMP:
    I wish to g-d they WERE there! It was torture!
    And thank you so very much
    xoxo

  • My one and only blind date that my grandmother set up for me was unforgettable, the guy spent the entire date with his fly open and I didn’t feel I knew him well enough to totally embarrass him by mentioning it! Figured it was nicer of me to let him figure it out at home and think I never noticed it! Crossing my fingers for you that this one works out perfectly for you!

  • First of all….I am sorry I have not been around much….I toadily blame my blogmistress…she is so busy anymore she barely has tiime for ME!
    Second of all….I am soooooo happy for you that you are having a GREAT time getting to know a new dood! 🙂 YAY! Just be careful what you eat…and remember to wear a sweater & look both ways before you cross the street & you should be JUST FINE! 🙂 ~xoxo!!!

  • Meleah

    Beth:
    Ahahahahahah. That is HYSTERICAL!
    And thank you!

    OLGA!

    Hello My Love, I sure have missed you!
    I am cracking up over THAT advice.
    You are still totally super awesome, and I LOVE how you still use my version of the word “dood” xoxoxoox

  • donna

    Hi M, just caught up with this post today. (been busy, as you know). Alas, always entertained, always laughing, and always wanting more.

    THAT was a lovely post, darling.

    d ooxx

  • uh what’s the cleaning tip sister. you can’t leave me hanging like this. you know the glass. the wine. what if i just drunk it straight from the bottle, then what?

    Oh, and I will be peppering this blog post with captioned photos in a lame attempt to distract you from realizing just how long this blog post actually is.

    made me laugh. and that person in the bed is hilarious. funny.

    hope things go well with puddy. yeah that’s right.

  • Meleah

    Donna:
    I love when you enjoy my blog posts!

    Valerie:

    Ahahahahaha.
    That’s how I roll!
    xoxoox
    I am cracking up at you quoting puddy

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