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The Last School Project

My son’s school ended last week and he has since been living it up at camp. It wasn’t until today that we decided to clean out school his backpack. That’s when we discovered the last project he completed. [Yes, we are lazy, inactive, and we like to procrastinate, don’t judge, it isn’t good for you]

The assignment was to write a letter addressed to me, trying to persuade me into allowing him to get an ‘unusual’ pet.

(Most of you know that I am an obsessive compulsive cleaner, so having any pet, even a usual pet, is out of the question. But this letter almost got me considering the idea.)

Without further a’ due I bring to you the JCH letter [and my interjections]

—————————————————————————
Title: To The Hardest Working Mom…In The World,

[he had me right there.]

Mom, how was your day? I hope it was fabulous. You deserve a promotion. In fact, you should make $375,000.00 a year because you work so hard. I can’t believe how great you are at your job. You are the hardest worker in the world. You deserve an award.

[yes! I do deserve an award and a promotion, how nice of you to notice.]

Hey, do you know what the best animal for us would be? A beaver!

[huh?]

They’re so cute! You love cute stuff. Plus, they live to the age of 20, so they will keep us company for a long time.

[cute is okay, but 20 years? No. That’s way too much of a commitment.]

Beavers live all over the U.S.A. so we won’t have to move to get one.

[how convenient]

They prefer to live in streams and rivers, which are found all across the golf course where we live.

[even more convenient]

They also eat bark so we won’t have to spend money on food; it will just eat the trees. Also, all of Poppa-Uhs extra firewood can be used for the beaver.

[well, that’s good, since we already hijack all of our food from Gramela Pamela and Poppa Uh, the beaver can steal food from them too]

The beaver is useful for many, many things. When company comes over, he’ll be the limelight.

[oooh! less work trying to entertain people or holding up my end of a conversation]

And when I get bored, while you are writing, I can just play with him.

[like that brother you always wanted, but will never have]

Or, when my pencils break in a weird way so I can’t use them anymore, I’ll give them to the beaver and he’ll eat them.

[now that’s just practical]

These are all the reasons why a beaver is so useful, and why he would be the best pet for us.

Love, Your Honor Roll Son.

[damn it! That ‘Honor Roll’ signature, has me tempted into putting on camouflage to go hunting for beavers]

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  • Ha! That’s beautiful. So if he gets an A on the assignment, what can you give him as a reward? Anything but a beaver will just seem… disappointing.

  • Im all for this. Im with your boy. Get a beaver and set it free on the golf course. That would be fabulous. haha. Dam up the bonds and creeks that flow. The greenskeeper would love ya.

  • Meleah

    JaneDoughnut: HI! Thanks for stopping by, and yes I’m feeling the obligation after such a convincing letter to find a beaver!

    Bowrag: My neighbours already hate me! I’d love to give them more reasons to “talk” about me!

  • FV

    Hey I made the honor roll a zillion times and what did my parents give me??? a pat on the back and some dumb encouragement words which never made sense to me. But I have to go with JCH, he deserves a pet so by all means Mel, get him what he wants. He is a HONOR ROLL STUDENT remember?!

    Oh yeah and try teaching a beaver to sit and roll over !!! HAHAHAH that’s not happening anytime soon 😀

    FV

  • Well a beaver would be a conversation piece. But can it be litter box trained? Your son my have a future in law or sales. Very persuasive.

  • Mel, I didn’t know you had a son! I love the gifts they bring home…whether it be a rock, or bits of fluff or an essay. He sounds like an adorable, loving, sweet, smart boy. Well done. I love that his arguments are so … sound. He will be a great negotiator, I think. Am I on the money? Love this post.

  • I like the idea of a beaver being instant entertainment at dinner parties but I think people will get the wrong idea when you answer the door and say “Come in! I can’t wait to show you my beaver!”

  • Hello!
    I wanted to pop over and say hello, thank you and your welcome….
    Thank you for: Your absolutely wonderful comments! Nice to meet new people and visit and find wonderful blogs! Love this!
    I shall return!

    Peace

  • He had me with the title as well! 🙂 What an adorable letter. What an exceptional little boy.

  • Oh really love your blog! You always make me laugh (or cry) so hard 🙂
    Well if you get a Beaver, the whole Oregon will hug you, love you, and sing you praises, no kidding!
    (Think Beaver is associated with football here)

  • LOL!!! excellent. I loved this….made my day.

  • olly

    lol!!!
    SUCKER!!!!
    HE CAN PLAY YOU LIKE A FIDDLE CAN’T HE ?
    A BEAUTIFUL LETTER.
    WHEN YOU MAKE THAT I’LL BE YOUR HOUSE BOY.
    TIME TO RUB THE BUNYONS?
    OLLY

  • Lis

    That made even me want to get a beaver, says the girl who can’t even keep a guppy alive for a day.

  • Meleah

    FV: that sucks, but he’s not getting a beaver.

    Ricardo: Let’s hope for lawyer….

    Laurie: YUP! He is 11 years old now! (and…you are dead on accurate!)

    Jason: I know! (I almost DIDN’T publish this because of the “beaver”… but, he is in puberty, so, what can I say. (by the by, my son LOVED your comment)

    Jodi: 🙂

    Holly: Thank You! (yes…he is)

    RMH: Well thank good for football, because ya know..”Beaver” on the east coast does NOT imply football!

    Marsha: Me too!

    Olly: Tell me about it!

    Lis: dood! your site is most excellent! (For. Real.) and yeah, I killed a cactus, so I’m thinkin’ NO to the beaver?

  • An “R”???!!!
    I am ashamed, a PG! I am on a mission now….
    LOL

  • That is priceless! I love the honor roll signature…smart kid 😉

    PS: There are two of us…Dawn: aka Insanity-Suits-Me… AND my sister Ann: aka Certifiable. We take turns posting on our site but it’s me “Dawn” – the insane one…. who loves dropping by your blog! I am SO SORRY for the confusion 🙁

  • FV

    Ok, well since he is not getting a beaver *well not at this age anyways*;) Why don’t you take him to see Paul Macartney next year??? He is coming to the US next year for yet another set of awesome concerts.

    c’mere little beaver c’mere 😀

    FV

    Ps. huggies

  • Meleah

    Dawn & ANN:

    oooooooooh!

    Well! That makes sense!

    I felt bad (*confused- followed by embarrassment*) when the reply to the comment I left on your blog was responded to by Ann……. I am so used to talking with / to you (Dawn)

    Oops….*buries head in sand* ……All caught up now

    But. Could ya’ll SIGN the post(s)? So I know (in the future) whom I am commenting /speaking too?????

    xxxxx

  • FV

    Signed,

    Francisco Villegas

    aka FV

    😀

  • LOL! Sorry Meleah, I just left a comment on my own site for you explaining the situation and then I come here and find my sister is a step ahead of me. I never gave much thought to the name thing before but I guess it would be confusing to someone who doesn’t realize there are the two of us! We’ll leave our names for sure. I too love your blog, and thanks again for the advice on the Empty nest post. It helped!

    (Ann)

  • Oh darling, that is just beautiful!!
    I love your son xxx

    Thank God he didn’t bring that letter home here.
    The Beaver has some rather questionable connotations that no one seems to have noticed…It is almost the elephant in the room (and you don’t want one of them!!!)
    Let’s just say, darling, that you already have a beaver – a marvelous pet I’m sure, if not a little lonely…

    xx

  • Meleah

    Certifiable! That’s too funny. Thanks for clearing this all up! At least now I don’t feel like I lost my mind!

    Minx: LOL LOL LOL (I love you)

  • Normally I don’t like really cutesy kids are the best, but I was laughing at that one.

  • Meleah

    Still Confused: luckily, there isn’t too much about my kid that is “cutesy”…I think that’s why I like him so much

  • That is super cute. I am sold… show me the beaver. Wait… that sounded wrong.

  • Meleah

    Goldy: we all know where the beaver is….. 🙂 Thanks for the comment!!

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