Yeah.
Um.
Let’s just say that I am used to more of an ‘urban’ environment than what I was subject to Saturday evening. While I loved being able to smoke INDOORS, rather than having to run outside into the windy, rainy, freezing conditions that are New Jersey, I don’t think I could ever get used to the ‘sticks’.
Not. Even. A. Little.
At least I had the pleasure of spending some alone time with Danny / C.B.G. I can honestly say, I don’t think I’ve ever had that much fun in a TGI Fridays.
* [Disclaimer: This part of the post might be a little too ‘inside joke’ for you guys, but I trust that if you read the captions and descriptions on the photos you’ll get the idea?]
It’s not like it was hard to have a good time, what with a 12 year old? serving liquor, “Not-Sean” as the self proclaimed head bartender, and The Totally Creepy Guy sitting next to me.
That was enough material to keep us laughing.
When I sidled up to the stoic Hawaii 5-0, wanna-be Tom Selleck, Magnum PI, real life police officer sitting across from us, and started calling this stranger to me Hawaii 5-0 and Magnum PI…to his face, Danny just about died. CBG has known that dude for years and never once saw him smile…until I managed to break down his brick wall exterior.
(Sorry, I am unable to keep my thoughts to myself. Even in public. Oh, elusive dignity.)
Of course, if that wasn’t enough to stay entertained, there was always this guy just waiting to be made fun of. I think he looks a little too eager to be standing in this position? I still don’t get what these sunglasses are all about, but I did like the fact that he was a camera whore and let me take 12 thousand pictures of him.
Last but not least, I always have to ‘meet’ The Owner of the bar I am visiting. I don’t know why I am like that; it is just something I cannot control.
[*The ‘inside jokes’ portion of this post is now over*]
For me, the best thing about the night was that I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I am not. Usually, when you are ‘dating’ someone you feel compelled to ‘put on your game face and be on your best behavior’ for the other person. I have spent plenty of wasted time hiding the ‘real me’ from any potential suitor. The fact that CBG embraces my volume is a blessing.
In previous experiences, I used to get ‘yelled at’ by my date. The men I have been with usually ended up ‘pissed off’ at me for the way I conduct myself around complete strangers. I am very outgoing and EXTREAMELY LOUD. Most people (rightfully so?) are embarrassed by my willingness to make a complete ass out of myself have a good time.
But Not C.B.G.
He just ‘gets me’.
THAT was a freeing experience.
Saturday night was not without its deeper moments. Putting aside the fun and games for a minute…there are some real underlying trust issues that need to be worked out. As I have stated before, I know that is going to take some time, but it is still mildly frustrating.
I need to talk about something that happened over the weekend, which triggered Danny’s internal lie detector to go on high alert.
You see, I was supposed to go and see CBG on Friday night. But, after taking a beating in the mall, during the 5 HOUR shopping travesty, I could not handle the idea of going home to pack (for myself and my son JCH) followed by driving way the hell out to Nowhere Pennsylvania, in the DARK. I was exhausted and subsequently cancelled Friday night’s plans. I told CBG that it would be easier for me to stay home Friday night and wait to see him on Saturday morning instead.
That wasn’t the issue.
That same day, my girlfriend Tiffany had sent me a MySpace email. The kind of email that everyone who is ‘my friend’ can read. The email said, “Your MINE this weekend! It’s my Birthday.”
Now, HERE is The Issue.
The OLD Meleah would have LIED to Danny/CGB.
The Old Meleah would have cancelled plans with Danny and then GONE OUT (AND GOTTEN HIGH) BEHIND HIS BACK. I cannot tell you how many times ~ IN THE PAST~ that he has caught me in bold faced lies.
When Danny saw the email, and I cancelled our plans, it seemed suspicious to him.
I keep on forgetting that Danny hasn’t had the last 5 YEARS to get used to the “New Meleah” like everyone else.
I mean, it took my parents A VERY LONG TIME to TRUST me. Sometimes I still feel like I am under the microscope.
I truly appreciate Danny’s position.
I am also impressed with CBG for opening up and starting a dialogue with me, RIGHT AWAY. Rather than keep things bottled up inside, or harboring negative thoughts about me, he was completely honest about his fears and concerns. Immediately.
I am thankful that he knows he CAN talk to me, when The Issues from the past arise.
On the other hand, I cannot spend forever ‘proving’ myself to other people. I have put in a lot of work to get where I am today. I have certainly paid my dues. However, I am willing to do the work (right now) and give Danny the time he needs to discover that he can believe the words that come out of my face.
I know that I have to be patient with Danny’s willingness to TRUST ME. I know that I can’t rush things. (Or him.)
But, I wish he would hurry up and see me for who I have BECOME instead of who I WAS.
I think You would be a blast to hang out with. You and my husband are just alike. He will talk to anyone, about anything. “I am very outgoing and EXTREAMELY LOUD. Most people (rightfully so?) are embarrassed by my willingness to make a complete ass out of myself have a good time.” That describes my husband in a nutshell. I love the pictures….especially you “meeting” the bar owner. (in your VERY HOT outfit!) I think it’s great that you can be yourself with C.B.G (sorry Danny, I just love that name!), you’re way past all that getting to know you crap. And you’re right, him trusting you isn’t going to happen overnight, but It’s awesome that he confronted you on it right away. Keeping those lines of communication open are what’s going to make this work for you. I know it’s so cliche, but you’ve got to just give it time…….I am so happy for you though!
The owner is cute!
Where’s pictures of Danny??? I want to see pix of CBG’s bald FACE! (As in no goatee.) If we’re gonna show CBG bald all the time, then enough with the pix of his bald HEAD, I want to see his bald FACE! He is sooo cute really, and that goatee hides his handsomeness! (is that even a word???) I know. I know. I’m being JIMS (my meddling Jewish Italian Mother Self). But he’s soo damn cute, I just want to see more of him. Sorry!
Chef Mom:
Oh I am A GOOD TIME alright! You’ll see when we have lunch together! The picture with The Owner cracks me up! and YES I KNOW this is goingto take TIME….but I want everything like yesterday!
Mimzie:
Right?
Mom:
I agree. The Go-Tee has GOT TO GO. Ill see what I can do about that! “handsomeness” can be a NEW word.
* Has anyone seen The Creepy Guy photo? I swear I had NIGHTMARES about him hunting me down and killing me last night. [shudder] *
nothing better than a night out with a little inappropriate behavior thrown in for good measure!!!!!!!!
Yes, creepy guy was VERY creepy……Like walk around a corner and there he is waiting for you, type of creepy. I’m glad he lives in the “sticks”.
Paisley:
Ha ha…I love to be inappropriate
Chef Mom:
He REALLY scares me
So, I love hanging out with you, very very much. I have loved your loud ass for twenty years. They still talk about my friend “boobs” up here in the bar. lol You rule to hang out with. Mwah
But… you do know that when I was tending bar for 14 years I used to kick people OUT that wouldn’t stop taking photos of staff and strangers, right? You never know who maybe is wanted by the law, or who should be in AA, or who is stepping out on a wife or anything else. Taking pictures of people you don’t know in a bar is a major unwritten rule no-no. Pictures of whoever you came with, assuming they want them taken = ok. Strangers = no no. What if the creepy guy was having a bad day? Now his picture is in your PUBIC photo pool on Flickr and here for all of his friends (or probation officers) with a net connection to see. Or maybe the bartender didnt want his picture taken because his mom/wife/girlfriend/church doesnt know he works there – you get the idea.
Not to be the party pooper, but yeah – the photos of strangers in a bar… yikes.
There is no reasonable expectation of privacy in a public place. The bar owner can ask you not to do it, but if you are out in public, you can’t expect that you won’t get your picture taken. See also Google Street View, celebrity paparazzi, etc. It’s considered polite to ask permission to take pictures, but it’s not necessary when it comes to release.
Which doesn’t make it right. Just because you technically CAN doesn’t mean you should, especially when you are in a small town where everyone knows everyone else. Everyone deserves a place to hang out without fear of being plastered all over the place and the possible repercussions that would cause, even the celebs the paparazzi are always after.
Meleah, Pippa and I are all friends, so – sorry Melz – didn’t mean to hijack your comments for a privacy debate – lol – you know me, love to debate/argue
Leslie & Pipa:
I did struggle with the decision weather or NOT to post the creepy guys picture…I mean he really scares me…..(I think every day is a BAD day for that dood). I really debated posting all of these pictures…..
In fact I am considering TAKING THEM DOWN or at least making them PRIVATE / FREINDS ONLY?
On the other hand, Pippa Said it well. If they are in a PUBLIC place, they have no right to PRIVACY. Not my problem if they are cheating or skipping AA meetings.
Hm…
Now I am NOT SURE what to do here?
Anyone else want to chime in…..
People… Can we take a Vote:
YES pictures STAY
OR
NO take them DOWN?
OR
Change to “friends only” status
*As of right now these photos have been changed to the FRIENDS ONLY VIEW STATUS.*
At this point, for these pictures, I dont’ think it matters. Once something is on the net, it’s kind of there to stay.
Leslie:
True, but at least now they are LESS public.
No, I don’t think the photos will get you in legal trouble. I think you can leave them up or take them down as you wish. I was just voicing my opinion of the unspoken considerations people expect when they are out.
I had to laugh when I thought of you ‘in the sticks.’ You would probably go in the corner, curl up in the fetal position, and wail if you ever made it here to the Great White North! Now, we are talking the STICKS, baby! (We have one local airport and when K and I left here to go to Vegas, we were two of six people on the plane–not counting the attendant/pilots, etc. The airport is pretty much only open whenever there are flights–which DON’T happen around the clock.) Yeah, we are a bit isolated.
You’re a yooper??? Man, I feel less booniefied now. NH is not THAT far up. lol
Leslie:
Its all good. As I stated in my email these people were notified that they would be on the NET…its not about ‘getting into trouble’ it is about RESPECTING other peoples wishes. I get that. The people who were REALLY against it…ARE NOT on the NET… Anyway, the photos are NOW set to the FRIENDS ONLY view option.
CMK:
You are 100% CORRECT. I would so be FETAL, and CRYING my face off if I had to stay for any length of time in ‘the sticks’ …. NOT FOR ME! 🙂
PS…Leslie, you could never be LESS ‘boonie-fied!” I have no idea how you roll in the frozen tundra that is NH. ! xxoo xxoo xxoo
Leslie: Yeah, a lot of people feel as if we are living in the armpit of the world here–JUST the way I love it! Our town has around 20,000 people and I feel stifled! I always say I want to live north of the Arctic Circle–that way no one would be able to find me. 😀
wait, who were you? I love when a girl is 100% like that… my wife is the same way, or used to be anyway. It does suck when she’s like that to some dude that could snap my neck with a couple fingers though…. that was a bad day…
Next time you’re driving in PA, go a little more to the southeast until you see skyscrapers and give me a call 🙂
I have truly missed reading your great posts! I have a lot of catching up to do 🙂
It sounds like you had a great time, I have just been looking at your flickr images and they looked great!!! It is nice to see you with such a wonderful smile on your face 🙂
The weather here is awful at the moment, it just wont stop raining. I’m hoping to complete my photo challenge this weekend (if the rain holds up long enough…LOL!).
I read the mini debate about photographs of people in the comments above. I love taking photos of people when I am on my travles, and have often wondered whether I should or shouldn’t post them…. The one thing I will say, is that any bloke who manages to get his photo on your blog should be truly honoured!!
Take care and have a great week.
Warmest regards, G xx
I want to hang out with you!
CMK:
Damn. I hate being isolated. I need people (to take pictures of!)
Tesco:
Oh thats a LONG story. I have a rather *shady* past….
Anywhoo….Ill be in PA a lot more often now. Maybe Danny & I will meet up with you and your wife? At least then I’ll get some pictures I CAN POST!
Graham:
Oh I have missed you too! Nice to *see* you again! I am really happy in those pictures! I guess you can tell! 🙂
Terri:
ANY TIME darling! 🙂
Babe this weekend was a blast.As far as pictures of strangers, Believe me they where all more than willing to have there pictures takin, And Meleah told them straight up “You are going on my Blog”.Snap away !!!
CBG/DANNY:
Thank YOU. Now THAT is VERY TRUE.
Yo Momma. Listen the Goatee is not going anywhere. She is going to have to catch me sleepin and break out the clippers. Than ‘RUN LIKE HELL’ : )
patience ..butterfly.. patience..easy to preach hard to practice..but rewarding in the end…:)
I know what its like to feel like you have to prove you’re not who you were. Its okay. For awhile. Then the other person has to take that leap of faith.
Sounds like you had a great time! I wish I had your outgoing nature. I think its terrific!
LMAO! “I don’t think I could ever get used to the ‘sticks’. Not. Even. A. Little.”
As for the trust issues… Patience Meleah… patience 🙂
Holly GL:
Exactly. I will hang in for a while, but at some point he’s gotta TRUST me already! I did have a great time. The outgoing personality can get people in to trouble sometimes, but for the most part, its a bonus.
Dawn:
ha ha ha The sticks….NO WAY. I am excercising as MUCH patience I possibly can! I think for the first time EVER.
Danny/CBG:
Hmm…Sleeping + Clippers + Run like hell. Got It. Im all over that one!
Robert:
Im doing the best I can…Im an instant gratification type of person. This is TOUGH!
Meleah, I ain’t ‘SHITTIN’ around you better buy those new sneakers before you pull that one
Danny / G.B.G.
I am NOT scared ! The facial hair IS comming OFF !! 🙂
A frenemy *snif*snif* is that all I am to you?? I can also knit, juggle flaming torches, and play scrabble blindfolded…ok, no I can’t.
Any linky love is good linky love I guess. *sniff* Hey, want some chocolate?
Miss Burrows:
ha ha ha…
No you are not just a ‘frenemy’…I just put that there for now so I make sure I keep tabs on YOU people!
(Oh MY I am impressed with those other ‘skillz’ you possess)
mmmm chocolate.
Too bad I am allergic to it…. 🙁
Can I still play?
Phew! I just ran up here to the computer because I just realized that you had said you were allergic. How about some flowers instead?
PLEASE PLAY!!
Don’t tell holly (Holly LOOK AWAY!) but we really need more frenemies.
miss burrows:
I toad-ily want to PLAY! I WANT to be a frenemy! ( C’mon HOLLY!)
No need for flowers 🙂
Just give it some time. All really good things are worth waiting for! I didn’t wait very long to steam the crab legs I just had to buy recently and they sucked. Why, because I didn’t wait long enough.
😉
I have a request- I want to see pictures! Does blog friend qualify me for the honor?
I do appreciate the concerns voiced earlier about the privacy of bar patrons (because if you continue down that route you can get into the Girl’s Gone Wild argument of cosent), but I believe that you and your straightforward attitude would make exactly clear their intended use.
As for trust- it SUCKS that it’s much harder to gain back than to break, but it sounds like this one is worth it. And, that he trusts you to talk to him about it is an amazing step in the right direction!
Michael C:
Ha ha ha…I suppose patience is a virtue. (one that I am LACKING)
Exposed:
For the pictures we have two options.
1. You can sign up for FLICKR, then add me as FRIEND and you will be granted access to ALL my photos -EVER TAKEN.
*If you sign up for Flickr, you dont have to add any pictures…if you dont want to. But, I personally think EVERYONE with a blog should have a Flickr account.
2. I can email them to you.
* I was VERY straight forward with the customers & bar owner. They all KNEW they were going to end up on the NET on my blog. Danny (CBG) was a witness to the willing participants. But, out of respect for LESLIE, I changed the ‘status’ of the photos.
As for the TRUST thing I know its going to TAKER TIME, but yes…it still very much SUCKS ASS.
Wait, I just caught the Goatee thing. You can’t shave the Goatee! It’s cute!
I’m voting on ALL the issues today.
FACIAL HAIR: Keep it. It looks cute. (Not you Mel, facial hair on gals is only good if your joining the circus.)
PICS @ BARS: If your told to stop, than stop. If everyone starts hamming it up to the camera, than clikety, CLICK!
TRUST ISSUE: It’s just an issue not a dead end (unless CBG makes it one) Don’t explain anymore because that’ll only make you resentful. Do what you do and let CBG take that leap.
LUNCH W/ CHEFMOM: WTF!! I wanna go too!
PS: Leslie’s ‘public’ misspell made me choke on my water! 🙂 That comment reads so freakn’ hysterical with the misspelling!! Leslie made a fantastic funny with out even trying!
Leslie:
Facial hair is OUT. He looks like a CRIMINAL all the time!
SomeGirl:
HAIR: Damn you too and the facial hair!
PICS: Agreed!
TRUST: Okay
LUNCH: Come with? Oh wait you are 3,000 miles away. 🙁
Leslie is AWESOME.
Awesome post!
What a joy to read your happy moments and your thoughts.
Love the last para. There is so much power in that last para.
THANK YOU RMH!
No one else seems to have caught that LAST line / para. xxoo xxoo xxoo
I am sure the ‘trust’ issues will work themselves out. I am also sure Danny already knows what a fantastic woman he has. You would be great to have lunch with – I would enjoy myself so much I would be laughing too much to eat.
Selma:
Yes lunch together WOULD be FABULOUS! xxoo
I am hoping the TRUST issues work out….sooner than later.
I suppose it would be tricky to erase the history and just start with a clean slate given all that you 2 have been through. Take your time. the both of you and let your time together reveal who you are on it’s own. you’ve come a long way and I can understand why you want to show that but resist the urge to put on a “showcase of the new Meleah” so to speak. The new, super duper Meleah will come out insubtle ways and amaze him more than the showcase. He will see it and love it. If not, he’s nuts.
Ricardo:
“If not, he’s nuts.”
THANK YOU! 🙂