Sigh…

Sigh… yet another damn day at the doctors. Apparently food isn’t making me sick anymore. But the stress in my life is.

Here’s what it looks like inside a GI doctors office… Nothing says a good time quite like pamphlets do

Not scary. (Except that it IS)

So that’s what my crohn’s disease looks like. (in cartoon drawing form)

Yup….after being really sick, yet a-fucking-gain, from Thursday into Friday, missing TWO MORE days of WORK, I finally made another doctors appointment.

He asked me a zillion questions about any life style changes I may be going through, or any thing that may be upsetting me which could have caused the onset of my episode. Surprisingly enough, I may be making myself sick. The stress of my job is killing me. I have been saying that for a long time, only I didn’t realize the effects that it could have on my body. I guess I have a hard time accepting that I have a real disability, which is worsened by stress. I am emotionally handicapped when it comes to dealing with certain issues that need to be addressed within the work place and since I don’t want to get fired for blogging about it (on my own free time, in my own home, under the first amendment at and all) I will keep that to myself.

But I will ask… HOW can I eliminate the very stress that makes me so sick, when what needs to be eliminated is the very thing that provides me with the health benefits I so desperately need, (oh yeah and that piece of paper called a paycheck)?

In the meantime I am doing all that I can to STAY OUT OF MY HEAD.

I have a lot of writing to do which will force me to focus on things outside of myself. Imagine that! Not thinking about, or talking about, or writing about me me me me me me!!

Oh and YES, I am looking for another GI doctor, because clearly the path I have been on for the last 6 months IS NOT FUCKING WORKING.

(RESIVISED: I am soooo signing up for THIS clinival TRIAL… I have nothing to loose! Thanks LESLIE!)