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Readers Digest Writing Competition

My grandfather Good Old Poppa Sye, gave me an article regarding a Readers Digest Writing Competition. And yanno what? I’ve decided to enter it. What The Hell. Right?

I am supposed to send in One True/Funny Story.

However, I am only allowed One Entry. This is proving to be difficult. As I have spent two days perusing my blog posts and I can’t seem to pick Just One. This where YOU GUYS can HELP me! Please?

*I know I am asking a lot of you. I feel like I am practically giving ya’ll homework.*

Below is the stories I am trying to chose from. *Granted some of these need to be cleaned- up/edited and I will have to delete the foul language.*

Anywho.

Please Click Them, Read Them, and Vote on ONE! Please cast your vote in the comments section of this post. But you have to act quickly since I must make my submission by February 17th. Okay?

Thanks In Advance.

The Black Out.

*Wait! Isn’t that…?

*My Daddy And The Spider.

Lesson Learnt.

A Lesson In Geography. Or Something Like That.

Because Its Not Really A ‘Party’ Unless The Paramedics Arrive.

Wherein I Hope To Avoid Making An Ass Of Myself.

*The New Jersey Turnpike.

Continuing Educational Credits And The Longest Sales Pitch In The History Of The World.

I Could. But I Won’t.

The Mayan Ruins.

Cooking Is Hard Work.

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  • I think the New Jersey Turnpike is a great piece and a good fit for that audience. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • seconded by “Wait, isn’t that…”

  • I vote for ‘Wait Isn’t That….’
    One of my favourites.
    Good Luck, Meleah!!

  • I have to cast two votes. One for “my daddy and the spider” and the other for “because it’s not really a ‘party’ unless the paramedics arrive”. Good luck to you.

  • my god i have NEVER been the first one to comment — let alone the first two. I’m playing the lottery!

  • “lesson learnt”  good luck girlie! 🙂

  • I like all so this is hard. Ummm, ok I’ll vote for “Continuing Educational Credits And The Longest Sales Pitch In The History Of The World”…

  • Meleah

    l’uragano:
    You are too funny.
    I loved my “NJTPK” post, but there is a lot of cussing in that one and I think it might loose some of the punch by eliminating those words?

    “Wait Isn’t That” (with my father as Tony Bennett, is a classic.)

    Selma:
    I am leaning heavily towards that one too!

    WVLeAnn:
    I love “Because Its Not Really A ‘Party’ Unless The Paramedics Arrive”, except that with out the actual photos of the whole scene I am not sure if I could properly convey the images? hmm….

    “My Daddy And The Spider” is a close second to “Wait Isn’t That.”

    Maria:
    “Lesson Learnt” is nice and short, very funny, and I am sure other people have been in that similar situation. There is a VERY good possibility I will use that one. And it does not require too much editing or rewriting. Thanks!

    RMH:
    That is a good one. I cant believe I manged to make an Insurance Class humorous.

  • cmk

    I told my oldest your ‘my daddy and the spider’ story–and I am NOT a storyteller–and she LOVED it. She actually got a full-blown case of the heebie-jeebies when I told her about the spider’s legs showing from between your dad’s fingers and then had a good–relieved–laugh when I told her the punch line. You wouldn’t go wrong with the story.

    However, I think some of us can very much relate to the ‘lesson learnt’ story. While we all may not have actually gone INTO the wrong car, we have ALMOST done it–or know someone who has. A funny, funny story, indeed. This one would do well, too.

    Good luck. oxox

  • I like the Jersey Turnpike too! … You may have to change a few words though. ((smile))

    Hi Meleah !!! 😉

  • Meleah

    CMK:
    Okay. Its a close call between ‘Lesson Learnt’ , ‘My Daddy And The Spider’ and ‘Wait Isnt That’. I also really like The Black Out, but no one else seems too. Thus I am glad to hear all of YOUR votes! Thank you soooo very much for helping me choose!

    Speedy:
    I love you dood. *waves happily to you*
    But, like I said before, in my “NJTPK” post, there is a lot of cussing and I think it might loose some of the ‘punch’ by eliminating those words?

  • I’d go for Wait Isn’t That… for the Reader’s Digest crowd, the NJTPK story is also awesome

  • I like “* Wait, isn’t that…?”

  • Meleah

    Leslie:
    Okay. “Wait Isnt That” is a classic.

    Ingrid:
    Whoo hooo.
    Thank you for your vote!!

    UPDATE:

    OLGA The Traveling Bra -has also voted for “Wait Isnt That”

    And MY MOTHER voted for:
    “Wherein I Hope To Avoid Making An Ass Of Myself” because she said, “It’s funny AND it’s universal. EVERY WOMAN can relate to that.”

  • Turnpike. Glad you’re feeling better. I still want his name and a recent photo…

  • There is NO contest here. It’s The New Jersey Turnpike. HAS to be that one. The idea that you’ve personalized it and are speaking to “her” is what sets it apart from the others. Maybe it just helps me relate to HOW much I detest driving to begin with, but I feel that many people can associate with traffic in a daily commute. That is THE one.

    Taking off friend hat and putting on mentor hat: Copy & paste into a word processor and get rid of the spelling errors first. And pass it on to a few people who will give it the tough love all good writing deserves. Good luck to you! w0000000000t!

  • Meleah

    SinnerViewer:
    LOL. Okay.
    I will send you a name and a recent photo.
    xoxoxoxo

    KellyPea:
    “Taking off friend hat and putting on mentor hat”
    You are my favorite!
    Thank you for the advice and direction!

    *Status Update*

    So far, it looks like a tie between:

    Wait Isn’t That
    and
    The New Jersey Turnpike.

    The NJTPK certainly needs some heavy editing and some new adjectives to replace all the cussing. I’m going to get good use out of my Thesaurus!

  • ok.. i still love the one about your dad and the spider… but i like the one about the new jersey turnpike,, and feel that is one a lot more people will be able to identify with,, and that is important in competition… i have not looked at the comments so i am not sure what everyone else thinks… but if it were up to me i would try a rewrite of one or the other of those…

    good luck on that contest.. i am always such a chicken when it comes to sending anything out… you are an excellent humor writer tho’ so i have a feeling this will be a great jumping off place for you!!! keep us posted now!!!

  • Do you want me to use my lawyer tricks to rig the competition?

  • I have my answer and I didn’t have to click the link. I remember this one well. Send it in:

    Because Its Not Really A ‘Party’ Unless The Paramedics Arrive.

  • Meleah

    Paisley:
    Okay!
    Thats one more for the NJTPK.
    xoxox

    Angry Man:
    Yes! Please!
    🙂

    Valerie:
    HA HA HA
    That was a CRAZY story!
    That hot cop seeing me on the toilet that way and JCH taking PHOTOS?
    Now I am laughing at myself.

  • My vote goes to:

    My Daddy And The Spider

  • Harry

    Dood,

    Long time, sorry. Tell Ron (I mean Tony Bennett) I am happy to hear he is alright after his heart surgery. Im sorry I missed out on telling him I care, but he knows I do since he is one of the subjects of all of my responses. You are quite the prolific writer my darling. Have you found a dood to date? I am happy for you if you did cause u deserve it. I will try to come around more often to read you but as you know I am super busy all the time. I like The NJTPK story and the spider story the best, although all of them are great dood.

    And so are you..

    BTW the paramedic one is pretty good too but would be a problem trying to relate it with pictures in a writing contest.

    🙂

    Talk soon

  • Meleah

    Jen:
    Noted! Thanks woman.


    Harry
    :
    Darling! I have missed you. I did find a dood to date and then he dumped me, but I’m over that now and back to writing like I should be doing.

    I know how much YOU love my father/bennett and all of his stories. Okay NJTPK and SPIDER. Noted. Thank you for the votes! I re-read the paramedic story just yesterday and laughed my ass off.

    *Skipper voted via email: This is easy for me – the spider story HANDS DOWN

  • The New Jersey Turnpike! That was an awesome story!

  • G’day Meleah

    Well, after going through all of your stories (they are all very interesting), I’ve narrowed it down to two.

    1. *My Daddy and the Spider
    – This story left a nice warm feeling in my heart. And you made me laugh with the eventual “monsters identity”!

    2. *The New Jersey Turnpike
    – Giving the turnpike its own identity works very well. Your description of it was great!

    Which ever story you decide on I wish you the best of luck!!

    Col. 🙂

  • Donna

    *Passes in homework*
    Divine Ms M…NJ Turnpike made me laugh out loud. Although paramedics bday party is a close second.

  • Too many to choose from lol. I like this for the content and the title, haha

    Because Its Not Really A ‘Party’ Unless The Paramedics Arrive.

  • I didn’t even read the links – I remember my daddy and the spider. It was hilarious! Good luck with the contest.

  • The New Jersey Turnpike. Hands down!

  • Daddy and the spider made me laugh when you first posted it. Go for it honey!

  • I also liked “My Daddy & the spider”

  • Amy

    Put me down for My Daddy And The Spider!!

  • I have two:

    The “..ass of myself” and “The New Jersey Turnpike.”

    I’m going to go with NJ Turnpike because you didn’t include any pictures of yourself changing in the other one.

    Small things turn the tide.

    NJ Turnpike.

  • I say either “Wait Isn’t That?”, “Mayan Ruins”, or “Cooking is Hard Work”

  • I’d have to say the continuing education credits story was my favorite, but I’d give a close second to My Daddy and Spider. You’ve got to remember the audience you’ll have for the story, so from that standpoint, the spider story is probably the best one.

    Have I contradicted myself yet?

  • Meleah

    Terri:
    That one is taking the lead.
    Big Time.

    Colblue:
    You rule for reading all of that!
    and THANK YOU for your votes!
    🙂

    Donna:
    You are The Best Ever.
    Thank You So Much.

    Rolando:
    That was a GREAT story! And ever so embarrassing!

    Jennifer:
    🙂

    Dawn:

    I do love that one very much too!

    Oscar:
    Thank sweety

    Betty:
    Thats coming in very close to the NJTPK!

    Amy:
    Thanks for the vote
    xoxo

    Moooog35:
    Agreed. Any one of these that involved photos is probably NOT a good idea.
    Thank yo so very much for taking the time to read these.
    🙂

    Courtney:
    Oh come on!
    Seem, now how am I supposed to pick ONE when YOU cant pick one!

    Richard W
    The CE classes cracks me up. Some of the terms I used in that story are crazy!
    And
    No you have NOT contradicted yourself!

  • mike mazzaroni

    Vote for the Turnpike…. LOL good luck and thanks for asking

  • Meleah

    MICHAEL!
    YAY YOU LEFT ME A COMMENT OVER HERE!!!!
    See. You rule The Most out of all the people at KHCC

  • I think you have to remember it is The Readers Digest and choose accordingly. Also, isn’t there a word limit or something? With that in mind, I like Lesson Learnt. On an aside, I was watching Great Day Houston the other day and they discussed how a man with Crohns Disease cured himself accidentally. He found if he ate two coconut macaroons a day, all symptoms disappeared. Two doctor’s were on the show discussing that they don’t know why but for some reason, coconut seems to help quite a few people with this disease. If it isn’t on your extensive allergy list, maybe you should try it!

  • I’m partial to The New Jersey Turnpike, but I think you’ll have to take out a few choice words!

  • Meleah

    Beth:
    Coconuts?
    *adds to shopping list immediately*

    Momo:
    That one is wining HANDS DOWN.
    But yeah, I really do need to re-write that!
    HA HA
    Too bad.
    I hate giving up the term Whore Of A Highway!

  • Good luck, I hope you win 😀 I’ve always loved Readers Digest.

  • You should tally them!

  • Meleah

    Nick:
    Thanks buddy!

    Courtney:
    I did. That will be posted in the AM!
    🙂

  • I just had a crash course of your blog. I even passed it on to a few people and we all agreed as follows:

    My Daddy & The Spider
    Because It’s Not A Real Party…
    The New Jersey Turnpike

  • Less than a week to go! Come on people vote! 🙂 Meleah stop looking at me with your hot glasses lol

  • Whoops. Sorry I’m late. Been busy at the office and falling behind in my chores. My bad.

    My favorites are:
    My Daddy & The Spider
    The New Jersey Turnpike

    Both are outstanding reads and funnier than hell.

  • Meleah

    Urban:
    You are the best.
    Thank you for reading them, sharing them and voting on them.

    Rolando:
    HA HA HA HA

    Agg79:
    Those are the top two favorites.

  • Meleah

    THANKS EVERYONE!

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