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Meleah Is Back To Writing Thinking And Speaking In The Third Person.

And now, Meleah’s week in review. Brought to you, ‘Facebook Status Update’ Style!

Last Monday, Meleah woke up after only three hours of sleep the night before. She had a crucial doctors appointment that she could not miss. Meleah doesn’t like being surrounded by sick people, but she at least she doesn’t show up at her doctor’s office looking like this

germaphobe

[Yep. That’s my daddy.]

Later that day Meleah attempted to take a nap. However, her efforts to catch some shut-eye were thwarted by a clever twelve-year-old boy, who had made ‘important plans’. Plans, that included Meleah driving all over town with her son and his buddies. Sadly, Meleah never did get to take that nap.

Tuesday morning, Meleah woke up after only a few hours of sleep (yet again) thanks in part to a lovely case of insomnia, and thanks in part her miraculous discovery. Meleah found out that she could watch every single episode of ‘Arrested Development’ online, and, for free. Meleah didn’t even realize how much time had slipped away, until she heard the birds chirping outside of her window and noticed the sunlight streaming in.

Meleah had just enough time to *blink* her eyes, before  it was time to get out of bed.

Meleah climbed into her car, with the crust still in her eyes, and ventured out into the real world. Meleah was in dire need of a visit to the hair salon.  The ratio of gray hairs on her head verses non-gray hairs on her head had shifted, in the wrong direction.

Fortunately, one of her friends is an expert colorist and was able to remedy the situation immediately.

red-hair

On her way home from the salon, and severely sleep deprived, Meleah decided to go shopping. After browsing several different stores Meleah could not understand why she was having such a hard time finding a decent pair of sweat pants? Meleah actually contemplated going to the Mall to scan ‘Victoria Secret’ or ‘Abercrombie and Fitch’ for said decent pair of sweat pants. However, the rainy weather sent Meleah home.

Meleah planned on sitting down to read and comment on all her favorite blogs Tuesday afternoon, but unfortunately, that did not happen. Instead, Meleah ended up taking a FOUR HOUR nap. The very nap she tried to take – on Monday.

Later that evening, Meleah enjoyed some quality time with her son. She was also reminded the best way to win at checkers is to ‘NEVER MOVE YOUR BACK ROW’ while watching the movie Black Sheep.

Wednesday morning, Meleah awoke refreshed.

Finally.

It’s a good thing she caught up on some sleep, because Meleah had a big day ahead of her. She helped her good friend Patty, MOVE, into her very own, totally-super-awesome, brand new, apartment.

Meleah wasn’t all that excited about lifting boxes or carrying heavy objects. Meleah prefers to avoid physical activity, at all costs. In fact, she has been working very hard to obtain a nice case of atrophy.

To make things even more interesting, it just wasn’t enough for it to be pouring rain on Moving Day.

Nope.

It also had to be hailing.

Ice.

*Awesome*

But, Meleah would do anything to help out her friend Patty. To summarize moving day all she can say is, “Boxes, And Bags, And Shoes – OH MY!”

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Yeah. Um, I know most women love clothes, but this is just ridiculous.

patty-2-closet-rod1

At least we didn’t have to wait all day for her new furniture and the cable guy.

patty-3-trucks

Seriously. Who needs this many pairs of shoes?

patty-4-shoes

By the end of the moving day? Meleah could NOT wait to get out of her soggy, sweaty, and very muddy ‘Moving Clothes’ and back into her cozy, comfy, and very toasty Pajamas. Where she belongs.

After a hard day of manual labor, Meleah developed a hardy appetite. She was utterly elated, and in a state of total disbelief, that it took her 34 years to find ‘The Greatest Salad Dressing Of All Time.’ Which, Meleah proceeded to slather all over everything she ate that night.

the-greatest-salad-dressing-of-all-time

Moving day for Patty was also the very same day, Meleah’s mother had to go under the knife.

Meleah’s mother had some form of wrist surgery that is very similar to carpal tunnel syndrome. Except that it’s completely different.  Meleah has no idea how to pronounce, let alone spell, her mother’s actual condition. Meleah was extremely thankful her mother’s surgery was a success and complication free.

At the end of another Very Long Day, Meleah was curled up in bed when she accidentally stumbled upon this little gem of a TV show. She is already hooked, and she is looking forward to watching all new episodes.

Thursday, Meleah woke up to a sun shiny day and wondered why Patty couldn’t have moved on this day when there was NOT a hailstorm pelting them with ice bullets.

For the rest of Thursday, Meleah embarked upon the joys of taking care of her mother. [Meleah is so NOT being sarcastic. Meleah knows just how much her mother does for her. Therefore, Meleah was ecstatic over the prospect of being able to do something nice in return.]

Since her mother was kind of crippled, and since her mother had to keep her right hand completely immobilized, Meleah volunteered to help her mother clean out and organize her closet.

As Meleah busied herself separating things into piles, she found some items in her mother’s closet that she wasn’t sure where they belonged. A confused Meleah did the only thing logical at the time.

Any item that did not have a ‘home’ went, on her person, until said home was located.

meleah-moms-closet-stuff

After tackling that mess, Meleah proceeded to prepare and cook dinner.

Meleah decided to put her new found cooking skillz to the ultimate test, when she chose to make ‘Sesame Encrusted Tuna Steaks‘ over Roasted Garlic Risotto for her family. Ya’ll remember what happened the last time Meleah tried to make risotto?

Fortunately, Meleah learns from her mistakes and this time, her meal was a total and utter triumph, with little to no difficulty!

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***** Oh, just in case anyone has not seen this yet, Meleah worked really hard, into the wee hours of the night, to make THIS FAMILY MOVIE, for your viewing enjoyment.*****

Friday, Meleah slept in until 11am, which was a refreshing change. Then she decided since it was such a beautiful day, to take her mother shopping.

[Meleah is wondering WHY all of a sudden she wants to go shopping, or take other people shopping with her? Because normally Meleah hates to go shopping.]

Alas, Meleah was determined to score at least one present to call her own.

Meleah hit the jackpot when she finally found Pajamas that ARE socially acceptable to wear in public.

pajamas

Meleah found these kick ass pajamas at her local ‘Target’ in the sleepwear section. Meleah honestly did not think these pajamas could possibly be sleepwear because of the hoody/string action. But it says so, right on the label. The label states very clearly these are in fact sleepwear.

However, Meleah says otherwise.

Meleah thinks these make for an excellent spring sweat suit.

Yes?

To test her theory, Meleah wore these ‘pajamas’ into the country club she is so fond of known as KHCC. Upon arrival, Meleah was regaled with compliments galore on how cute her new ‘sweat suit’ was.

Yes!

Meleah also scored a new pair of reading glasses from ‘Marshalls’ her local department store, providing name brands for less.

glasses

Later that afternoon, while perusing the isles of the local ‘Home Goods,’ Meleah saw her mother’s face Light Up like a Christmas Tree, when her mom spotted a large hand painted ceramic frog. Meleah’s mother has been collecting frogs forever, maybe longer. But, since the house they live in is already so cluttered, they quickly realized they had nowhere, and no room, to keep this beautifully fantastic over-sized frog.

As Meleah and her mother were about to walk away, Meleah’s mother turned the frog around. Low and behold, this spectacular frog is also a planter! (Meleah’s mother could be more aptly named Mrs. Green-thumb. She absolutely loves to plant and garden.) But then, the tide tuned yet again.

Meleah’s mother took one look at the price tag, and sighed. Totally defeated, Meleah’s mother gave up on finding a way to own that frog.

And that’s when Meleah just had to buy it for her.

We’re calling it the post-surgery “Get Well” and early “Mother’s Day” present – frog.

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Friday evening Meleah dropped off her son, JCH, off at the mall, to hang out with his friends, without parental supervision. Meleah cannot believe her son is already at that age.

Meleah felt a little like her heart had been ripped out as she  was forced to ‘let go of her son’ to do his own thing – yet again. Meleah reminisced back to the first day she had to leave her son at day care. And back to the first day Meleah had to put her son on the bus for school. Then, Meleah wondered where all the time went. Meleah became slightly weepy. But, Meleah refused to allow herself to think about what it was going to be like when the time comes for her son to learn how to drive a car and go out on dates with girls. [Shudder]

While her son was at the mall, Meleah paced around her house nervously, watching the clock, and refraining from incessantly text messaging her son. Meleah’s imagination kicked into over drive as she pictured her son getting into some kind of trouble at the mall, because when she was at that age, she always got into trouble for one too many youthful indiscretions.

Thankfully, Meleah received a reassuring text message from her ever-so-responsible son, just as she was considering the possibility that he may have been kidnapped.

jch

Saturday came and went almost without incident.

Meleah took full advantage of having the house to herself by diligently laundering clothes, cleaning her room, ordering Chinese food,  writing this blog post, and abusing Facebook. When she was finished with all of her chores, instead of working on her book, she opted to blow off steam by visiting some of her friends up at her local Country Club.

Meleah truly enjoys Amy The Bartenders company. After two years of spending countless evening together at KHCC and taking the time to get to know each other, they have cultivated quite a friendship.

Anyway, at one point in the evening, Meleah and Amy both had to use the bathroom. Upon entering the restroom facilities they were taken back by the noticeable stink in the air. However, bladder pressure took precedence over the foul odor. Amy raced into the first vacant stall. The very stall  the stench was emanating from. Meleah had to wait until Amy was finished because the rest if the bathroom was occupied. While Meleah was waiting, she decided to clear her nasal passages which have been clogged for days due to seasonal allergies.  Meleah thinks she should have waited to blow her nose until after leaving the bathroom because the smell was much more pungent, with her now clean sinuses. As Amy exited the stall she tried to forewarn Meleah to hold her breath before going in. Meleah was about to ‘take care of business’ while Amy, gagging over at the sink, apologized, then declared she needed to get out of there. Meleah gasped and replied with, “Don’t Worry About Me. Just Save Your Self.”

[Meleah & Amy think it’s time for KHCC to spring for some kind of Air Freshener in the ladies room. Otherwise Meleah will be forced to bring in her own Fabreeze. Again.]

Today, Sunday, Meleah is finally making the time to dedicate purely to visiting her favorite blogs. Blogs that she has missed way too much. In fact, she is probably leaving you a comment right now…

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  • “Just save yourself” you are hilarious, Mereb! What an active week you’ve had. You’re a good friend to help Patty move. I’d do the same, but there aren’t that many like us – at least not in my life… 🙁

    Love the new jammies, and understand completely the apprehension surrounding allowing your young’un out on his own.

    I think your mom’s frog is terrific. I especially like the colors/pattern on its backside. (I’m serious, btw)

    Thanks for keeping us entertained by the adventures of Meleah. Its tons of fun to read on a Sunday morning. xoxo

  • Jen

    you know how I feel about talking in 3rd person don’t you?
    Pattys shoes are nuts.
    your pajamas rock now.
    JCH just needs to stop already. he needs his license now, and then he’ll be officially set.
    mommies closet…
    AMy…

    🙂

  • I know what you mean about sons growing up too fast. The same thing is happening with me – I am in tears all the time about it.

    Those PJs are just fantastic. I want some. I wonder if they sell them in Target in Australia?

    Hope your Mum is feeling better. Those tuna steaks looked fantastic. So did Patty’s shoes. I am drooling at both.

    The laugh of the day ,though, goes to your Dad wearing the face mask to the doctor’s. He is hilarious!

  • Boy, that Meleah is a hoot!

    Love the running storyline, but I am almost out of breath by the time I get to the end (Will she make it? Will JCH return? What was that odor?). It’s kinda like getting caught up on Meleah in on long blog post (last week, on Meleah…).

    BTW – love the PJs. Both stylish and functional. You make them work. If I wore PCs in pubic, I’d look like a bum…

    “Just save your self!” What bravery!

  • You know, you could make a show – I am likening it to the Jerry Seinfeld Show about your life. My life is never that exciting…

  • I know what a fan of Victoria’s Secret you are (as am I) and I LOVE that you found such cute “pajamas” at Target. I am so going to check those out today!

    The country club restroom sounds like the restroom at my office. And we DO bring our own air fresheners in.

  • Meleah

    Steph:
    You and I are probably the last few people on earth willing to help people move!
    And it terrible weather!

    “Just Save Your Self” cracked Amy up too.
    She was so hysterical laughing as she walked out the door.
    And when I did make it out f there? She was still laughing.

    I really do love my new jammies too, but I am SO NOT READY for my son to be this independent.
    I mean, I like that he makes his own breakfast and all so that I can sleep in, but THE MALL? THE MALL?
    I was beside myself!
    Oh well, letting him go is part of being a parent. Just not the good part of being a parent.

    The back side of the frog is super terrific. Its actually quite detailed. Im glad you like it!

    YAY! I’m glad that I am keeping you entertained.
    xoxox

    Jen:
    🙂

    Selma:
    I really am in tears over my son.
    He is going to be 13 Next Month!
    And I am just NOT ready for that!
    Not even a little!

    I hope they have the pajamas at your target. They are super comfy and no one can tell! My mom is doing great, Patty’s shoes are out of control, and the Tuna Steaks were borderline amazing. And you know my father is ALWAYS the comedy around here! 🙂

    Agg79:
    Meleah thinks writing in the third person is easier than writing in the 1st person when it comes to trying to be funny. Meleah is so very happy you liked this post and that you were so concerned about the way things would work out!

    Skipper:
    Im sure your life IS that exciting.
    Remember, its NEVER the story you tell.
    Its HOW you tell the story!
    🙂

    Terri:

    Ah ahahhah
    I’m laughing that you DO bring in your own air freshener!
    I am still thinking about making that trip to Victoria Secret for a real sweat suit
    xoxoxo

  • cmk

    My oldest granddaughter will be 13 in July. (Of course, she wasn’t supposed to be born for another 2+ months, but that’s beside the point.) All I can say is this: Thank the good Lord I am not raising kids today!! 😉

  • I swear I have seen those jammies before …. hmmmmmm. My fav was the “on her person” outfit though. Very very HOT !!!!!!!!!!

    As a parting gift, I would like to say, “That’s a lottah shoes”

  • Jay

    Good grief – that is a MAMMOTH post! I can’t possibly comment on everything, so I’ll pick out my favourite bits. I love your hair, by the way!

    Your friend has way, way too many shoes. What does she have, one pair for each day of the year or something? ROFL!

    I LOVE the frog planter! I love frogs, actually, and have a few myself, but that planter is a thing of glory.

    And your son is really cute! You are going to have to watch him with the girls, for sure, but personally, once my sons were on the way to becoming independent I breathed a sigh of relief! No more taxi service! No more worrying about where they were when they were half an hour past the deadline! No more cooking for them! LOL!

    Nice to see you blogging again!

  • You are at my place and I am at your place …… (ha haaaaaaa!!!)

    Happy week Meleah 😉

  • Jay

    Oh, and in case you are too busy to get back to see my answer to your comment – yes, I’m afraid we did lose both dogs. My heart is broken and I still cry. Not as often, but yes, tears still flow. I still can’t quite believe it sometimes, both were quite sudden.

    Their stories are on the blog if you want to read them, one just after Christmas and the other five weeks later. 🙁

  • Hug for JAY ((((hugs)))))

  • Meleah

    CMK:
    It’s really hard to raise kids today. Its just so different.
    Half the time I have to google the terms he’s using.
    But, I do like the cellphone text messaging deal. This was I feel a little more secure, and I can sort of keep tabs on him. Maybe I can insert a GPS tracking system in his phone!
    xoxox

    Speedy:
    Yep. You saw those PJs on FB.
    Patty’s shoes really are out of hand.
    Hope you are having a TERRIFIC weekend!
    🙂

    JAY:
    Thank you for reading my long long long blog post!
    And, I can’t with Patty’s shoes either!
    As for the frog planter? My mom is putting it to good use right now!
    My son is growing up WAY TOO FAST.

    Speedy:
    I love simultaneous commenting.

    JAY:
    Oh no! OH NO!!! I am so sorry for your loss(es). I am devastated for you.

    Actually, right after I read your post this morning I did go searching all over your blog trying to find out who and when. Can you email me the links to those posts?

    Speedy:
    She needs a LOT of hugs.
    Its just awful.

  • Shoes shoes shoes! WOW. I can’t believe my eyes!

    And you, Meleah, goodness, you look gorgeous!!! And what a chef you have become. Yes, now I can imagine a domestic goddess called Meleah! Oh, how I wish I, and the food, look so fabulous when I cook.

  • dcr

    You’re scary. I just received a notice that you commented on my blog when I was reading “…she is probably leaving you a comment right now…”

  • I love you Monkey 🙂

  • Meleah

    RMH:
    My cooking skillz are just getting better and better.
    One day I will make an excellent wife.
    Now I just need me one of those husband thingys.
    he hehe

    DCR:
    Ah ahahahhahahahahaha
    That is awesome.

    (and Speedy and I were ‘simultaneously commenting on each others blogs)

    Leslie:

    I love YOU more.

  • i am laughing as hard now as i was exiting the bathroom!! & let me tell you that stench was still there hours after you left, & i was able to put up with it thanks to you & your parting comment that “i save myself”. i will be forever think of that whenever i am in a stinky restroom!!! thank you soooo much!!!

  • Just looking at all those clothes makes me want to go to my closet and take out half to donate. And I think I have like a third of what’s shown!

  • Meleah

    Amy!!
    Ah ahhahhahaha
    That smell never left?
    My god.
    I’m glad you will forever think of ME when you are in a STINKY bathroom.
    Now that’s special.

    You are still laughing?
    So am I!
    Im still laughing about MY FATHER being OUTSIDE at 2am listening to me talk to you on the phone all kinds of LOUDLY.

    Cant wait till next Thurs/Fri/Sat for some New Material.

    and BTW – I LOVE that you left a comment over here!

    Silver:
    Aw. You’re so good like that.
    xoxo

  • Ranch Dressing is my favourite too ! (Without the bacon ie)

    How many feets does Patty have ?

    (My closet rod bends that way too…)

  • Sounds like quite a week my dear! Hey, can you fill me in on the garlic risotto? I make mine with mushrooms/carrots/celery. Seriously, give me the deal!

  • You had quite the week! I like Patty’s shoe collection, love the new color and those glasses are too cute!

    Hope this week is as good.

  • Truly brillant ! That frog is something else !

  • LOL – long post but I’m glad you got to update us all! Your hair is fabulous, that was so sweet that you got the frog from your mom. Glad to hear everyone is okay although sons do tend to grow up way too fast. I hear it is true with daughters too. LOL. Oh yeah, one more thing – Patty needs a separate house just for her shoes. 🙂

  • Hey crusty eyes, did Tiff do your hair? jen sends me pics of her do when she’s done with her. LOL

    Life is always too busy.

    Jammies are sexy .

    Tuna steaks!!! Love ’em, – I didn’t hear my phone ring!!!!

  • You crack me up… I can’t believe you wrote this whole thing in the third person… (well, actually I can).

    How are you?

  • Meleah

    Jaffer:
    but the BACON is what makes it soooo delicious.

    luragano:
    Okay I will email you my recipe!

    Ella:
    Thanks girl!

    The Girl:
    Thanks.

    Tenni:
    Patty DOES need a seperate house for her shoes!
    LOL

    Oscar:
    Tiffany always does the color in my hair!
    Jen is so funny taking photos of her’s and sending them to you!
    Obviously, I was REALLY busy last week, so I was unable to make plans.
    But, maybe this week?

    Ricardo:
    HA. Yup 3d person.
    I am GREAT

  • I, for one, enjoy writing about myself in the third person. I usually place the word “the” in front of my name as if I’m a thing rather than a person. Maybe I am.

    Anyway, the PJs are almost like athletic attire. People will think you were jogging.

    Did you find HULU.com to watch Arrested Development? That site is deadly. I have spent many hours watching things on it.

  • wow! patti’s shoe collection is amazing!

    btw, i’m terrible at checkers. your son would always win with me. 😉

  • Meleah

    Ricardo:
    Now that’s funny, placing a THE before your name!
    Aren’t those PJ’s killer! I love clothes that look as if I am athletic, because my life is a sport.

    And yes, Its all about HULU!
    🙂

    Maria:
    I am secretly envious of Patty’s shoe collection.
    Checkers rocks!
    xoxoxo

  • I own 2 pairs of shoes! And they’re both black! I don’t understand the need for all those shoes…is she an octopus? LOLOL

    omg – you’re a hoot.

    And … I have a zombie chicken for you if you’re interested 😉

  • OMG you’ve been just a little busy. I didn’t know moving could be so much fun lol

  • OMG woman, I’m going to have to write a post here to respond to all of this busy busy stuff. First off, your dad’s a hunk. You know I have to say that. And then the photo of the shoes? It needs to be on flickr or something because in much the same way you responded to that stroller photo of mine — nothing compares to those shoes and it’s not ALL of them? Whoa. Laughing over your discovery of shows free on teh intrawebs. I think it’s pretty cool, too. The “fish” is awesome — we love ahi and I’m drooling for it right now. On the bottled dressing though? Ew. I don’t do bottled dressing. Call me a food snob. Go ahead. And finally, yes, Tar-zhay’s pj section always has something….I could keep going, but I’ll spare you.
    ; )

  • Meleah

    Drowsey:
    You only have TWO pairs of shoes?
    WOW. You and Patty are TOTAL opposites!

    Rolando:
    🙂

    KellyPea:
    You are so cute with our crush on m dad!

    That STROLLER photo was one of The Greatest Photos EVER!
    And yes, the show photo is on flickr!

    Oh you and my father with your homemade dressings! I dont think you are a food snob, not even a little.

    xoxoxoxo

  • 1) I LOVE your father. I respect germophobicness (is too a word).

    2) The shoes? Insanity!

    3) You are ADORABLE in those swajamas!

  • glad i’m not the only 30 something with gray hair.

    did, uh, patty rob a shoe store? i didn’t see a pair of sneakers either, did she move in heels? i don’t think i’ve had that many pairs of shoes collectively since i’ve been born. wow.

  • Meleah

    Momo

    1) I will let him know!

    2) Definitely.

    3) Why thank you!
    xoxoxo

    Valerie:
    Oh honey Ive had grays since I was in my twenties.
    🙂
    Patty’s sneakers are in a whole different picture!
    She couldn’t fit them in this photo!

    I have never owned that many shoes in my life either.
    xoxo

  • I don’t know about writing in the third person, but sometimes the_sarcasticynic@yahoo.com actually writes in the third e-mail address.
    .

  • norma

    maleah,
    every friday morning, my company, top cleaning service, cleans the bathrooms at
    the knob hill country club. We dust, vacuum and disinfect everything throughout, hopefully from now on your senses will not be totally accosted when entering the ladies room. Instead, you will smell clean and everything green.

    Girl, how many things do u volunteer for? Enquiring minds want to know. love ya. hope to be in the pen (area at sycamore grill between the bar and the seating barrier) tonight.

    love ya!

  • Meleah

    The Sarcasticynic:
    You CRACK me up.

    NORMA!
    Sweety! YAY. Wait, I might want to work for you! Believe you me, I would make the KHCC bathrooms *sparkle* And yes….you will see me Thursday early evening sitting in “my office” at the bar!
    xoxoxo
    🙂

  • are you gonna post links to the new chapters. i cannot seem to get in using the passwords on facebook.

  • WTF!!1 You got a lot of shit going on, hard to keep up with you. Your closet is way to orderly by the way. Love the shoes.

  • Meleah

    Paisley:
    Hey sweet cheecks
    Yes. I will unlock them and post them on Sunday.
    xoxo

    DeboHobo:
    That’s not my closet!
    And those are Patty’s shoes.

  • Suzanne

    This is probably the only time I will ever comment, I’ll lurk after this! I’m here because of Random Chick. I’m an artist, not a writer, and I write like crap. Was that comma supposed to be there? Who knows? Who cares. Look, Random Chick loves me, so I can’t be all bad. I just have to say your post nearly killed me (I may not write well, but know good writing). I’ll return to read more when I can find a freakin’ extra minute in my day. You’re beautiful and your blog is an absolute hoot. I’ll be back.

    I just had to give my email address to comment. I don’t give my email adress to just anyone. Don’t abuse it.

    XO

  • Meleah

    Suzanne:
    Any friend of Random Chick’s HAS to be an awesome person. SO, welcome to my brain and my blog Momma Mia! Don’t ever be scared to leave a comment.

    Feel free to lurk and join in the conversation whenever you have the time!

    Oh and I will never abuse your email address! LOL.
    *pinky swear*

  • Patty a/k/a Imelda Marcos.

  • Meleah

    🙂

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