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  • I don’t know what to tell ya Mel. Just sit and wait I guess. Maybe he needs time, but you are still the same wonderful, beautiful, honest and caring person you were before you told him. If he wants space, it’s his right and his choice as well as his loss.

  • Meleah

    Thanks doll face.

    I am too tired to try to figure it out anymore. I’m going with idea that he is scared, but does love me, and he will come CRAWLING BACK to me. And if not? It’s his ‘fucking loss” -Per Ingrid!

    “but you are still the same wonderful, beautiful, honest and caring person you were before you told him.”

    Yeah. I am. Thank you for saying so! You are the bestest!

  • jay

    Honey, there is only one way to behave at times like this, and that is to be yourself.

    If he loves you, whatever little crisis he has going at the moment, the ONLY way he’ll come back to you and things will be ok again, is if you haven’t changed, you haven’t done anything out of character, you haven’t tried to be what you think he wants you to be.

    If he doesn’t love you, you’re wasting your time anyway, huh?

    Many hugs to you. It ain’t easy, making sense of human relationships, that’s for damn sure.

  • This is a hard one. I can only tell you how I would react if it were me. Firstly I too think that “You’re a cool chick” is hardly a respectful and loving way to describe the woman you are supposed to love. Secondly, to say he needs to know more about you in order to get closer, listen to what you had to tell him and then not to contact you to reassure you, is extremely hurtful and somewhat cold. Then to tell you that he needs space! It would be laughable if it wasn’t so hurtful. It smacks of a man who feels more for himself than of others. I would definitely take a long, hard look at what I want, or expect from a relationship.

    I am not advising you Meleah, just telling you what I would feel, and possibly do, in the same situation.

    His reaction would definitely make me see him in a new light, and I would possibly see this as the beginning of the end of a relationship for me. It is not what I would want. I expect a mature man who doesn’t shy away from what he sees as a possible complication. A man who is prepared to be there through good and bad times. A man to whom my feelings are important. I expect nothing more, and nothing less than I would give to him. I would then weigh the situation up and make my decision.

    I think, deep down, you suspected that he wouldn’t handle it well. We do all have that inner voice, we just have to learn to listen to it more.

    I also would have been asking all those questions you asked, but I would listen to the inner voice for the answers. I agree that to give it a little time is advisable, but don’t just go back for more of the same. You are worth far too much to just put up with, and accept what he wants!

    Only you can decide what you want out of a relationship. We don’t all want the same things so you should just be true to yourself. You will be the happier for it.

  • Jeez Meleah.
    I am sorry that you are in turmoil again. You deserve so much better. I took some real balls to lay yourself out there and for him not to reach out to you is wrong. I won’t pretend to understand or rationalize his response. I am certainly not one to pass judgement or give advice, but I would listen to the mutitude of suggestions you are getting here. He may be a good guy and trying to grasp your story may have been hard for him to deal with or perhaps he doesn’t know how to respond. Regardless of how he reacts, you did nothing wrong and you should hold your head high. I feel that, if he is as good as you indicated earlier, he will come to his senses and make the first move. If not, screw ’em. Don’t sell yourself short. You will find happiness in life. If not with him, then with someone else.

    I hope he wises up soon and realizes what he is missing.

    My heart and prayers go out to you!

  • Oh dear… try not to read more into this than what he is telling you. And TAKE CARE of yourself. XOXOX

  • Dj Bob

    Lets have another Lunch!!!!


    Focus on your self for a few days, just like today. Soon you will have your answers whether they are good or bad.

  • I too, couldn’t tell you what he might be thinking having been with my high school sweetheart for over 25 years now but the one thing I do believe is not to play games when and if he calls. Don’t wait for that second call, don’t not answer the phone etc. Just talk. If he doesn’t call in a reasonable amount of time, take the hint that it probably means it is over and call him and tell him you want to at least talk and that you need closure. Take it from there, say what you need to say but don’t plan what that will be ahead of time. Well, that is my advice for what it is worth. Meantime, you deserve the best, you have paid your dues over and over and it is time for good things to happen. If this isn’t “the one” then he will certainly come along at some point. A great person like you cannot go unnoticed forever!

  • dcr

    I got nothin’. Sorry. So, ditto what Speedy said. 😉

  • high five babs! you said a mouthful!! 🙂

  • WZRD9832

    What,s that saying when it looks to good to be true . My heart goes out to you . p.s Don.t be pissed at SANTA p.s.s Hope a little humor helps

  • I agree with what Selma, and Oscar said. They both said it better then I could, so just read their comments again. ;o)

    You are one in a million!


    PS – @moooooog35 The password is… Idon’tlikehandjobs

  • You are a great person. I wanted to say that first. I have been absent as well, in terms of getting on your blog. So no worries there… life happens.

    Here is the deal… You sound like a wonderful woman to be with. I mean damn, so easy going in terms of relationships and how to treat a man. I think you are a winner. You are someone who should be valued and treated well.

    Now… after saying all that… I see you got the committee going on in your head… trying to figure out what to do… questioning who you are as a person and what you’ve done to deserve or cause these recent events….

    Here is the deal… He is going to be who he is. He is going to react the way that he is going to react. What you need to do as a person is be true to you. Your story, if it scares him off, is still your story. If you are building a relationship with someone then it is bound to come out at some point. The man is grown. He asked for that info. If he couldn’t handle it then it is on him to deal with it. I know you get the short end of the stick by not getting that time that you were enjoying. But wouldn’t you prefer him to run now than run when you were even deeper? Wouldn’t it be best to know that he isn’t strong enough to be that dude? Too weak to get over his own insecurities and you knowing that you were always true about who you were as a person?

    I’m just saying… keep your head up. It’s best that someone walk away for you being the true you rather than sticking around with you for not showing your true self. (i hope that makes sense)

  • Meleah

    “If he doesn’t love you, you’re wasting your time anyway, huh?”


    I do think the relationship is over and THAT HURTS too.

    I know I didnt do anything wrong. But Im just sick of all this.
    I am praying he misses me and realizes how good he had it with me, f only for a few months.


    I dont know about that.

    Yeah Yeah

    Im sick of paying my dues. And now I just want to crawl under a rock.

    thanks anyway

    Babs rules

    Santa can go suck it.

    HA HA HA
    your comment to mooog

    That made a lot of sense thank you.

  • I’m sorry to hear this Meleah and I KNOW how you must feel. My last serious girlfriend? I cooked her dinner, taught her son how to read, paid may of her bills, treated her like a princess, drew her bath, washed her clothes, bought her tampons and FREAKING LOVED HER LIKE NOBODY ELSE. She dumped me for a multi-million dollar lawyer who beat her and knocked her teeth out. Six months later she wanted me back. I said NO.

    Now I trust nobody.

  • Meleah

    OUCH. Honey, I feel YOUR pain.

  • Your’s too. But we shall rise again!!!!!

  • I go with he’s a judgmental son of a bitch and say that you’re better off without him. A man who is really worth it will love you no matter what your story is. A man who is really worth it will see you for who you are RIGHT NOW. Trust me. This is one thing I know for certain, from experience.

  • Meleah

    I hope so.

    Thank you. I love you.

  • I am so glad Eric commented on this, he always drops some heavy thought provoking words, when he’s not boing boing around.

    Girl I went through this just a few months ago, I had the ring and everything. And all of a sudden it just fizzled.

    All I can say is hold your head high, pamper and take care of you. Let him fly away, he will realize what he left behind and will return and you need to be sure you will still be the strong, independent and courageous foxy lady he first met. That is if you still want him if he returns. I would definitely put the over nights on hold until ya’ll gain an honest commitment.

    If he doesn’t return too bad so sad but it is his lose not yours. You have an awesome family in the real world and on the net so we are all here for you, but more importantly YOU NEED TO BE THERE FOR YOU.

    We love ya XOXOXOXOXOXOX

  • Meleah

    Debo Hobo:
    “Girl I went through this just a few months ago, I had the ring and everything. And all of a sudden it just fizzled.”


    I am trying my best to remember that it is HIS LOSS. But right now, I am just confused. And I am hurting. I don’t understand!

  • Donna

    Maybe you are too real for him.
    Maybe you are too good for him.
    Maybe you are too pretty for him.
    Maybe he needs to grow up a little.

    Even scared people can at least communicate.

    M, sorry you are hurting.

  • Meleah

    Thank you for saying all of that to me. I just dont get it.

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