Last week, I had the pleasure of meeting fellow writer, Margaret Andrews.
She’s the author of the book Sticky Readers: How to Attract a Loyal Blog Audience by Writing More Better. And, she’s the author of the blog Nanny Goats In Panties. Oh, and she’s totally-super-awesome.
Since Margaret lives in California, and I live in New Jersey, it’s not every day we can meet up for lunch. So when I found out she was going to be vacationing in New York City, I seized the opportunity to finally get face-to-face with the woman I’ve adored over the Internet for the past several years.
Considering I have no sense of direction, driving into NYC was absolutely out of the question. And, since I am NOT a big very fan of ‘Public Transportation.’ Therefore, we decided on getting together in Hoboken, NJ.
And here’s how that worked out for me…
I’ve never been to Hoboken, so I asked ‘The Internet’ two questions.
1. Where’s a good / not too expensive restaurant?
2. Will I have to drive over any bridges?
I received fantastic reviews, along with a list of restaurants to choose from.
And, I was promised that I would not have to drive over any bridges.
And you people are LIARS!
Well, to be fair, you didn’t lie about the restaurants.
There are a crapton of kick-ass restaurants up and down Washington Street.
But no one warned me about the mother-effin, Pulaski Skyway!
C’mon guys!
Haven’t we already talked about my fear of bridges?
[I have a sneaky suspicion y’all lied to me, because you thought I wouldn’t go. And you would have been right. I would have canceled.]
Now, some of you might not understand my fear of bridges. So I will try to explain it simply. For me, driving over a bridge is just as terrifying as: rock climbing, or skydiving, or bungee jumping down the Empire State building. And while those things may be fabulous, if you happen to be a ‘Thrill Seeking’ kind of person, but I am NOT one of you.
I am not only afraid the bridge will suddenly collapse, without warning, but I also imagine the ‘Worst Case Scenario’. Like what if my tire suddenly explodes, and I loose control of the car, and go careening off the side of the bridge, and drown a fiery death, and the only thing they find to identify my body are the serial numbers on my breast implants.
So, yeah. Meleah + Bridges = Massive Panic Attack.
That being said, I’m going to give you a quick run-down of my drive into Hoboken.
I had borrowed my parents Garmin GPS to lesson the likelihood of getting lost. And let me just take a second here to acknowledge how awesome that little machine is. Seriously, I am buying my own, like immediately.
Anyway, 99.3% of my drive was smooth sailing.
The New Jersey Turnpike wasn’t overly crowded.
I didn’t get lost.
And I didn’t feel nervous.
Hearing that little voice from the GPS tell me, “Turn Right, in 0.2 miles” gave me a false sense of confidence.
After I exited the NJTPK and paid the toll, I prematurely congratulated myself on a job well done. Because that’s precisely when everything went awry.
I drove underneath an underpass, and thought, ‘Oh, this isn’t scary at all. In fact, this is pretty easy. Yay, Me!’
Not less than 5 seconds later I found myself going up an on-ramp. The very on-ramp that led me onto the mother-effin, Pulaski Skyway. I rapidly tried to figure any possible way for me to turn the car around in order to avert driving over the bridge.
Alas, I quickly realized I could not stop the inevitable.
HOLY.
SHIT.
I immediately went into panic mode. My heart raced, and I thought for sure I would to black out. I turned on my hazards. And then, I drove a maximum of three miles an hour, staring straight ahead, ignoring the vulgar language, middle fingers, and car horns blaring in my direction. With a knot in my stomach, shaking hands, and sweat dripping from every pore on my body, I forged ahead.
Now, I also should probably mention, that my car does not have air-conditioning. So I had all of my windows down. Which would explain why the other drivers on the bridge looked at me as if I was a real-live-escaped-metal-patient, when they heard me screaming, “FOR THE LOVE OF WRITERS” on the top of my lungs the whole way across ‘The Longest Bridge’ on the East Coast.
Just when I thought I would die a certain death, the GPS directed me off the bridge.
HALLELUJAH!
And AMEN!
The next thing I would have to tackle was finding a place to park.
Hoboken is like a mini NYC. And I don’t have a clue how to ‘Parallel Park.’
So as soon as I found a spot where I could go in ‘Head-First’?
I took it.
Wrinkled and sweaty, I walked a few blocks, while texting Margaret. The restaurant we had initially agreed upon was closed. And just as I was about to turn a corner, we spotted each other on the street. We immediately squealed like high school girls, and then embraced.
Margaret is EXACTLY as I had imagined her.
Only more better.
She’s absolutely adorable, super-sweet [but not nauseatingly sweet], wicked smart, and sofa-king funny.
We grabbed a table, ordered unsweetened iced-teas, and lunch, and chatted away for over THREE HOURS. We talked about writing, and blogging, and Broadway plays. I tried my very best to use my ‘inside voice.’ Because I didn’t want to make a fool of myself, or sound like a stuttering idiot, while in the presence of greatness.
Of course, like a star-struck fan, I asked her to autograph my copy of her book, and she was more than happy to do so.
I felt so comfortable around her; I may have divulged way too much information. But if you can’t divulge TMI to a fellow blogger, than who can you tell? Am I right? We discussed BlogHer, and conferences, public speaking, Apple Products, and different types of parenting skills. We even shared a few secrets with each other.
And now I love Margaret more than ever.
I swear if I were a lesbian, I’d totally marry her.
After we left the restaurant, we walked back to my car together.
Still overly excited about such a successful lunch, with such an amazing woman, I didn’t even care that I ended up with a $30.00 parking ticket on the windshield of my car.
Honestly to blog, meeting Margaret was absolutely worth the parking ticket AND the heart attack I had to endure while driving over the Pulaski Skyway.
Because she “Rocks the Casbah.”
Love this post .. so awesome to meet other bloggers!
“I swear if I were a lesbian, I’d totally marry her” – LMAO !!!!
OMG! You braved a bridge? I am SOOOOOO proud of you!! Seriously!
And?
I wish I could have been there!!! The only reason I’m not completely heartbroken is because, at least, I had the chance to meet YOU this summer!
Glad you had such an awesome time!
OMG! You braved a bridge? I am SOOOOOO proud of you!! Seriously!
And?
I wish I could have been there!!! The only reason I’m not completely heartbroken is because, at least, I had the chance to meet YOU this summer!
Glad you had such an awesome time!
Hoboken is apparently the new cool place to live, my sister makes the pilgrimage frequently to visit college friends who live there and work in NYC. I am proud of you for overcoming and going…believe me– I had a similar anxiety at one time. I forced myself to overcome it by dubious and stressful means simply because it was such a pain in the ass. And I’ll second how cool it is to meet other bloggers– we have great memories of that too! 🙂
Meleah, You are freakin’ funny..the visual of you driving over that bridge had me laughing so hard I had tears running down my face (sorry! But it was funny!) I love you, girl! <3
She’s THAT amazing!
Nicky,
I can’t believe I drove over that either!
And, I can promise you I will NEVER do that again!
I don’t EVER want to drive over THAT bridge, again.
I don’t care how “cool’ Hoboken may be!
I’d rather stay in my 4 square mile comfort zone.
Aw! YAY!
I love you Aunt Lynda!
xooxox
Well done on getting over the bridge! I am proud that you got over the driving ordeal to have a great day.
First, I am so happy to hear that you got together with Margaret. How cool is that! LOVE the little goat!
And it’s so ironic you posted this today, because I also got together with a fellow blogger last week in Philly!
And I sooooooooooo understand your ‘thing’ about driving bridges because I’m the same way (Libra thing, perhaps?). However, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten much better. But I still can’t drive along the outside edge of the bridge, I have to drive on the inner lane because I fear my car would fall off the edge!!!
“And then, I drove a maximum of three miles an hour, staring straight ahead…”
I’m the SAME WAY! I can’t look to the side, I have to look straight ahead or I FREAK out!
OY! Don’t you LOVE being a Libra???
X
I am so proud of you for driving over that horrid bridge. While I am not ascared of bridges, escalators going down is impossible for me. They only way I can do them is if Alex is in front of me and sort of drags me onto the damn thing. I have the “falling off the edge of the world” thing going on when I approach one. If I don’t think about it, sometimes I can do it, but usually not. I hate walking along with someone and going to the escalator and realizing I cannot get on it. The person I am with is looking up at me and I’m saying, “I’ll find some stair and meet you down there!”. Nobody really understands.
I had the pleasure of meeting Margaret. She is gorgeous, funny, and smart! My husband loved her too. Glad you got to do this. But I’m sorry for the trauma and drama of the MoFo Bridge.
Thanks, Nik!
Yes, Ron!
I have to drive in the MIDDLE too.
No way can I be near the edge!
And I cannot LOOK sideways!
HA!
I’m glad to know you drive the same way over a bridge!
That MoFo bridge was NO joke!
And, HOLY CRAP.
I hate * HATE * – the escalator too!
I always feel like I am falling.
NOT. COOL.!
xoxoxo
Cool meeting of two great writers! Glad you had a nice lunch and that you made it over the bridge, was it as bad going back?
30 dollars. WTH. reads like you had a super time and who wouldn’t have a super time in your company. huh. did you know the longest bridge in the world is 26 miles, that’s a marathon, baby! meleah, you still there? hello? darn, she passed out on me.
oh and i still get turned around with my TOMTOM because i’m not sure if it wants me to turn right where i am or not. i’m too dumb to follow directions, really, but it is a great device to have.
Yes. It was JUST as bad coming home.
But totally WORTH it for Margaret!
26 miles?
NO FUCKING WAY.
That’s insanity!
HA!
I can’t follow directions either, Val!
We should probably NEVER travel together!
That crazy bridge looks a LOT like one of our crazy bridges, so I hope that doesn’t deter you if you ever visit Nicky. We do have a tunnel though. How do you feel about those?
Okay, so I’ve never been to NJ but, as I understand it, in order to leave the state you either have to drive over a bridge or through a tunnel? So, how are you with tunnels, by the way? And I’m almost afraid to ask how you feel about flying, too.
No worries, my fear of flying is equally irrational.
😉
Glad to hear that you had a blast, despite the setbacks (i.e. bridges and parking ticket).
I am so proud of you for braving the bridge crossing. I have had some phobias that were hard to overcome and I can appreciate the fear you feel for bridges. While bridges don’t scare me, that bridge looks daunting. Screw the rude a****** that were rude to you.
Parallel parking…yikes! now that would scare me. It’s been so long since I have had to, I am not sure I still can.
I’m sorry, I just had to laugh at you driving over the bridge. If you had known about it you would have cancelled and then you wouldn’t have met Margaret. Sometimes ignorance is bliss 🙂
I’m very proud of you for conquering your fear, OK, putting it in check for a few harrowing minutes, so as not to cause a major catastrophe on the bridge. All in all, It sounds like it was well worth the trip. We’ll have to hook you up with a Garmin of your own, and get you back out on the road, and start working on those bridges, a little at a time.
HA HA HA!!!! LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!! “Oh to be the one that she would marry if she was a lesbian!” I’m jealous! I cracked up about you going over the bridge… remember Anger Management? All I could picture was you with the windows down scared to death singing, ‘I feel pretty” with Jack Nicholson, and some guy drives by and yells, “Dumb Ass!” LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!
If I ever EVER get to NY, I am OH SO going to ask to meet you!
I swear if I was a lesbian I’d totally have a 3some with the two of you!
The two of you are amazing. What an opportunity it would have been to be in the same
room with you both!
There’s no way I’d drive over that thing. Even more so considering the name. The Pulaski Skyway reminds me of Dr. Pulaski from Star Trek: The Next Generation who was played by Diana Muldaur. She also played Rosalind Shays in LA Law. That character was killed by falling to her death when she stepped into an elevator only to discover the elevator wasn’t there and she plunged to her death.
So, no, I wouldn’t go near that bridge.
It sounds like a great time. Did you have to take the same bridge to get home?
Tunnels are way LESS scary than bridges!
Tunnels are okay.
Flying? = need xanax & vodka!
It’s impossible for me to parallel park!
TOTALLY!
I think that’s why everyone lied to me!
They knew I wouldn’t have gone, had I known about that bridge.
Yeah, I definitely need a Garmin!
Girl,
We MUST meet up in Real Life!
Awww!!
I’d marry you too, Sandra!
Well, I can assure you…
I will NEVER drive over THAT again!
Yep! I sure did.
Calling me sweet but not nauseatingly sweet is one of the nicest things you could have said! I feel like I owe you a diamond studded relaxation air-conditioning system (and $30 cash) after what you went through to meet with me – wow!
Also? Your picture of us came out better than mine. Can I have yours for when I post us on NGIP?
Also? If I were a lesbian, I’d marry you right back, sweet cheeks!
So that was my last chance of meeting you in NJ? Or will you find another roundabout route for the next time?
I agree. You totally cracked me up with your picture of the bridge and the “OMFG” cartoon baloons.
LOL!
Yep, threesome marriage for me over here too!
LOL!
Every time I think of Diana Muldaur, the firts thing to come to mind is Born Free about a million years ago. Remember that? Or are you not old enough?
You can totally use my photo of us!
And, it was WORTH it to meet you!
Apparently, there is a TRUCK ROUTE since 18-wheelers are NOT allowed on that crazy bridge.
So…. If I ever meet you in Hoboken again, I will take the alternate route!
🙂
Isn’t it wonderful to meet IRL someone you’ve “known” online forever? I’ve had the opportunity a few times and always so glad I summoned the courage to do it. Speaking of courage, I’m not afraid of bridges but I am terrified of escalators. You know, those moving staircases that occasionally grab unsuspecting people with their metal teeth? So, maybe that makes you feel better?
Yeah, I am NOT a fan of escalators either!