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Let the games begin: a.k.a THE DARE

* I HAD TO SHUT OFF THE COMMENTS FOR INSIGHTING A RIOT*

M’kay, I jut want to get the RULES right… So I can / will only smoke 4 cigarettes a day, per this bet,

How it all began:

Me: “Since I am a FIRST timer to the whole concept of quitting at all, (I never even considered quitting before rushing right out and trying to take on the world in a day and be the first to ever quit in a single try) isn’t 4 cigarettes a DAY better than 40? Isn’t that at least a START?”

Applehead: “Better for whom? Cuz I doubt it’s any better for *you*. It’ll be torture for you to stay at four a day for long. You’re just throwing yourself into one constant craving. Seriously, as far as the discomfort involved with that goes, you may as well just quit. And I bet you can’t stay at 4 a day. Yeah! I said it! But hey, good luck to ya!”

Me: “Um yeah, like 4 is so much better than 40! Whatever! But I do like the tell me how it is say it how you feel approach, bring it…”

Applehead: “Actually, this will be a real good test for you. IF you can stay at 4 a day then you don’t really need to quit, huh?
That’s actually a bit of a test that’s used to convince someone whether or not their drinking is alcoholic-type drinking. They tell the drinker to choose a “reasonable” number of drinks – say three or four a day. Then to try to go one month without going over that number of drinks in a day. If they can do that, then they have a bit of control over their drinking. If not, well, they should consider they may have a problem. See, if we could smoke just here and there, or now and then, it wouldn’t be so bad. But the very fact that we can’t do that, means nicotine has control over us. We smoke when we don’t really want to. Like out in the rain or snow, or instead of being with our children, or while people wait for us, or when we’re sick or when we don’t really have the money to burn. Or when someone who loves us (like our children) begs us not to…. So I’d be curious to know, if you were willing to be totally honest, how each day goes for the next month (never mind the SIX MONTHS you plan) staying at or below 4 cigarettes per day. Seriously. I doubt you can do it. It’s not you. It’s the nature of the beast.”

Me: “I LOVE A GOOD BET.. even more I love a DARE. I tend to do things out of SPITE that may just be the perfect way to keep me smoking EXACTLY four… and YES I am willing to be 100% honest. I will totally DIVULGE if I fail!!! I’ll even put it on my blog”

(see bottom “revised” section of earlier post today)

Applehead: “You’re on! I DARE YOU! :)”

Me: “Fine…. Starting…..NOW! You just may be able to kick my ass in to quitting.. I like you! Oh and by the way… I just smoked my FIRST CIGARETTE of the day”

Applehead: “Hey again, So now you’ve gone and smoked the first cigarette of the day…. Pee-uu, girl!! You stink! (he he… just had to throw that at ya…)I’d absolutely loved to kick your ass into quitting!! That would be so cool! I’m sure this little experiment will help you see that 4 a day is not doable for long. And soon – there you’ll be at 20 a day, or God forbid 40! 
But you know, if you keep trying this way and that way and keep it in your mind at any rate – eventually – poof! you’ll quit. 
So I’ve got my eye on you…. I bookmarked your blog. Hang in there. I expect that Mr. Craving will show his ugly ass to you fast and furious – even (well, especially!) smoking just 4 a day! And ya know, if you can pull this off, well, more power to you. I would never in a million years have been able to do that. So throw down! Hang tough. You are gonna have to use all the quit-smoking strategies to do this 4-a-day thing!”

So there IT IS, the BET the DARE of all DARES (other than a triple dog dare)

I did have my 12 noon smoke, and then I had my 437pm drive home smoke. Now I have to make dinner, laundry, blah blah, but I will POST when I smoke my next BUTT. (as promised (see bottom “revised” section of earlier post today)

THERE IS JUST ONE….Question….. can I smoke HALF of one and the other HALF of that same one later ON….and count that as ONE CIGARETTE?

Just checkin’ and yes… I am a wise ass, have you not noticed that?

By the way, FOR “KAR”…..yes I am still wearing the patch, (that will NOT stick to my skin) with the mailing labels for large envelopes from work, that will also now NOT.STICK.TO.MY.SKIN

Sigh

*
CIGARETTES OF THE DAY:

1200-pm
437- pm
1030-pm
1200-am

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  • Anonymous

    I missed it too. Don’t worry….everyone is so nice and understanding on here. Don’t smoke!

  • meleah rebeccah

    Oh thank you for lightening this up! i really am sorry, but thanks for the laugh!!

  • Anonymous

    Quit smoking!

  • Anonymous

    Hey as long as it’s 4 cigs who cares… how you smoke them

  • Anonymous

    LOL – you have taken a lot today. That was Q Admin that deleted your post. Did they send you a letter too? Gotta be careful there. Now I’ll never know what you said now that it was deleted. Oh well.

    2 smokes???? Good for you. That must have been hard. Sheesh, If you can piss of half (or was that 75%?) of Q and not smoke that is good! Now if you can do that, then why arent you quitting?

  • meleah rebeccah

    oh i got a letter and a bitch slap… oops

  • Anonymous

    missed what happened in the qs but i wanted to drop u a line telling u not to worry about it. i had a huge fight with people on here and actually told people that comming here whas not good for there health if they lisened to this shit.( ay i was mad) i got qmailed by about 40 people asking me to saty and it was forgotten…these posts and fights happened over a 2 days period and all post were pulled….don’t worry about it…its all good

  • Anonymous

    We have all done things that we regret. Be thankful you are in a group with greater understanding than most other groups. And be thankful that you were able to recognize the problem and come forward with a sincere apology. As others have said, the main thing is that you are NOT SMOKING!

    We’re all on a steep learning curve here – what are the trigger points – how could we fall into such denial to smoke in the first place – how to handle the pressures and stress of daily events – how to stay QUIT — and many of the things we are learning are part of the very core of us. We get edgy sometimes, and feel the need to express, sometimes we are rational, and sometimes we are not. We’re all in this together, needing each other, and learning from each other.

    So stay on your QUIT, and continue to grow in your smobriety. That is the goal and what we want for you.

  • Anonymous

    i missed whatever was said, but keep this in mind.
    when we ask for forgivness, the good lord accepts and we should forgive ourselves as well.

    take care and dont smoke

  • Anonymous

    Oh y’all…her thread was a trip…glib, I called it…Called her a smart#@$ on the Qmail. But she’s awesome. Been on this site all day long…fuh realz (as my daughter would say).

    So, she’s the bomb…Let’s start over. Give her the big Qnet welcome. She’s trying.
    Welcome, girl. You rock. You’re gonna quit. I know it. And you know it. All in due time.

    Char

  • Anonymous

    now you’ve got someone bringing ‘the good lord’
    into this. sheesh.

  • meleah rebeccah

    Dood had a KNOWN there were LORD like LOVERS? here? that JOKE NEVER would have been posted…. OMG….. the sheesh is making me laugh again THANKYOU!!!!

  • Anonymous

    na don’t worry….though i did miss it i would not worry about it

  • Anonymous

    Too funny… Well at least now you know what post topics to stay away from!

    I am off to bed, have a good night!

  • Anonymous

    i guess i missed something again…

  • Anonymous

    ou do need to quit. cutting back sucks more than quitting in some ways.

    but, back to the people here.

    most do not think outside the box, if you know what i mean.

    keep laughing. this is a great place for support, but also continue to enjoy the show.

  • Anonymous

    I get up at 3:00 am for work every day so ill talk at you tomorrow.

    Have a great night and an even better tomorrow.

    I will be looking forward to seeing you and your blog some more.

    Sweet dreams.

    🙂

    H

  • THEQUEENOFPERSIAâ„¢

    Dear Qnet,

    Fuck you.

    Your way isnt the only way joiks!

    -Anonymous

    Can we take the time to honor someone who is spending her time and ours making us talk about quitting. That it’s even an idea she is having is sending a message to other smokers who havent cut down. This shits hilarious and making me cut down right now.We’re all talking about quitting and being entertained at the same time.Smoking is a funny thing.

    THIS BLOG SHOULD WIN AWARDS!

  • Anonymous

    ” Just 4, just for now”

    I like that.

  • THEQUEENOFPERSIAâ„¢

    TO QNET,

    DEAR QNET,

    I AM HAPPY THAT SOME OF YOU ARE BEING KIND TO MELEAH AND I COMMEND YOU ALL FOR YOUR QUITTING,

    ANY WAYS TO QUIT SMOKING THAT ENCOURAGE MINMIZING AND ULTIMATELY ELIMINATING NICOTINE INTAKE ARE WAYS TO QUIT. THERE ARE SEVERAL WAYS TO QUIT. THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT WAYS.

    THIS IS THE WAY MELEAH HAS CHOSEN. LETS NOT DEBATE WHETHER HER WAY IS GOOD OR NOT WHEN WE HAVENT EVEN GIVEN IT A CHANCE. LETS SEE HOW SHE HANDLES THE FIRST YEAR OF 4 GIGARETTES A DAY. HOPEFULLY NEXT YEAR SHE CAN GET DOWN TO SMOKING 4 A MONTH. I KNOW SHE CAN DO IT BECAUSE SHE HAS SET GOALS FOR HERSELF IN THE PAST THAT WERE HARDER THAN THIS.

    PLEASE TRY TO BE PATIENT WITH HER METHODS AS THEY SUIT HER BEST. REALLY, SHE ISNT TELLING EVERYONE ELSE HOW TO QUIT IS SHE?

    LETS ALL TRY TO FOCUS ON QUITTING AND ANY QUESTIONS REGARDING HOW MUCH NICOTINE MELEAH WILL STILL BE RECIEVING WILL NOT BE RUBBED IN THE FACES OF THOSE WHO CURRENTLY DO NOT SMOKE ON ANY THREADS.

    I WOULD LIKE TO ASK THAT ALL QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS REGARDING THE CURRENT NICOTINE INTAKE BE SENT DIRECTLY TO MELEAHS Q NET MAIL.

    PLEASE ALSO LET THIS BE A WARNING,

    MELEAH MIGHT SOMETIMES COME ACROSS AS ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES BUT SHE’S JUST PASSIONATE.

    GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL…
    I HOPE YOU ALL QUIT SOMEHOW,

    MELEAHS BEST FRIEND
    http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c373/persiangirl/Mel12-06017.jpg

  • Anonymous

    You sound a lot like me! Where are you from? I am from soutern California!

  • Anonymous

    Well if it was me, I would say you could double smoke…That is 8 smoking adventures a day….

    Curious to know what others think….

    I did kill the Rose Bush, and will send pictures tomorrow..
    Kar

  • Anonymous

    What have you done now? Missed your post, saw the formal apology…

    Hello!

    I hope you are good!

  • Anonymous

    I missed what was said. and don’t want to know…..

    Sometimes ramballing is best done in a club setting and not on the general forum of the QuitStop. I know from personally experience that venting is very important but is appropriate in a club that encourages and excepts that …. again not in the general forum of the QuitStop.

    Good Luck with your quit

  • Anonymous

    ah well, They don’t want us to smoke…You could have led a mini revolution all of us smoking 5 a day….AND REJOICING IN adding another smoke each day…
    I am kidding…
    See ya tomorrow.

  • Anonymous

    Good God! I miss all the action. Apparently the post from last night was deleted. Anyway, I would have said “YES” you can smoke those 4 any way you want to!

    Guess some people got really pissed, huh? Don’t feel bad. People here are pretty sensitive.

    So tell me… Did you do it? Only have 4?

    And tell me also… wtf happened last night on the board?

    APPLEHEAD

  • meleah rebeccah

    ALL I DID was POST the exact same EMAIL as “the DARE” on the quit stop

    BIG FAT MISTAKE!!!!

    and the people FLIPPPED OUT… seriously, I was chased with pitch forks and TORCHES, and not in a good way….

    I titled it “THE DARE “and asked the HALF and HALF quetsion and was REEEEAMED for playing games, making excuses, technicallities and exposing NEWBIES to BAD IDEAS…

    so not my intention!!

    I had like 95 angry mob emails, the thread was ripped … MAYHEIM.

    I have a way of pissing perople off, Im too … smug, glib, full of tude or what have you…

    some people get it, some people dont

    some people love it, some poeple hate it

    But I never intended to UPSET massive amounts of people. I guess I have to get used to the TONE of the FORUM and TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH or two. or five!

    I know smoking is NOT A JOKE and that IT WILL KILL ME,

    it was a heated MISCONSTRUDE taken way too far JOKE… one I will never make again.

    anyway I did only have 4 (and it was MUCH harder than I thought it would be)

    I slept WITH THE PATCH ON for the FIRST time (cuz I was scared tyo have bad dreams… BUT, I didnt!! and I didnt WAKE UP CRAVING a smoke EITHER….)

    and I FINALLLLLY got my “cycle” so I am less… RRRRAAAAAAGGGRRRRRR…… and I am seriously considering NOT SMOKING AT ALL TODAY…

    we will see how the day / nightmare JOB is today….

    fingers crossed, Ill make it 24 hours…

  • Anonymous

    I guess you could, but I have always HATED lighting a cig that I’d already extinguished–tastes terrible (though I’ve done that plenty of times–I hate to waste money too).

  • Anonymous

    If I take a razor blade to my wrists at 12:30, but only cut a 1/4 inch, and then at 3:30 I cut another 1/4 inch, did I try to kill myself at 12:30 or 3:30. This is what you are asking me. Maybe I am a poop, but I take suicide (which is what smoking is (IMHO)) seriously. So go ahead. Play your little game with yourself or whoever else, but you will be the one losing. Even if you keep it at four. Count them however you like.

    Regardless of what you think, you can do this.

  • Anonymous

    Please read more on the Q. The information is out there. Start researching what this addiction really does.

    Know that I see quitting as a fight for life. I want to live. I want to be healthy. I want to be happy. Smoking goes against all of that.

    I am glad you came to the Q. Stay and read. Research and learn, because it is great fodder against smoking. And when you quit (which I really hope you will), you will need it.

    You can do this.

    Quit for you. Quit because you want to live.

  • Anonymous

    I answered your question about if it counts as 1 or 2, I don’t know why every one got pissed.

    because the ritual is performed twice in smoking 2 halves , I would say smoking 2 halves counts as 2 cigs.

    smoking only 4 cigs a day is going to be very hard, althou it is a good start, maybe totally quit a bit sooner than 6 months .

  • Anonymous

    You seem to be taking this way too cavalierly.

    If you don’t get serious, you’re just not going to succeed. This is a serious business, and if you have any pretentions of actually kicking the habit, you have to get serious about it.

    If it were possible to succeed using the methods you intend to employ, don’t you think at least a few of the people who have tried it before you would have made it work?

    The fact that your strategy has a zero percent success rate should tell you all you need to know about it.

    There is only smoking and not smoking.

    No offense, but it really doesn’t matter how good you are at taking dares. This isn’t about winning a dare — it’s about learning how to live without a habit that dominates your life. It’s about having the stones to commit to not smoking and having the guts — the willpower and determination — to keep that commitment no matter what.

    That’s simply not going to happen on the step-down program, no matter how good you are at winning dares.

    Even alternatives with mediocre success rates (i.e., NRT) have a better track record than the step-down plan…

    Sorry if you don’t like what I’m telling you, but I’d rather see you succeed at quitting than be your friend…

    You want a dare? I dare you to put the cigs down right now, and walk away from them. I dare you to not have another cigarette between now and St. Patrick’s day. I dare you.

    If you’re so good at taking dares, take that one.l

  • meleah rebeccah

    I am not tyring to be CAVALIER by any means, as you dont know me or my personality. I KNOW THIS IS SERIOUS , but we cant laugh ? at all? I have to quit smoking and cracking jokes?

    It made me laugh and it made other people laugh…and IT HELPED me stay busy and NOT SMOKE … while playing with anothe memeber I met HERE that did “get my personality”…isnt that the POINT, me NOT SMOKING?

    going from 40 cigarettes to 4 cigarettes for the FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS is a HUGE DEAL for me, but apparently “not good enough” for some of you. I was KIDDING about only smoking half and half… that was a JOKE. a bad one. FINE. I get it…

    BUT… dont you guys tell other people who are here who are still FULL TIME smokers when THEY ARE READY…..”THIS IS YOUR QUIT?” or did I imgaine seeing that?

    No, it wasnt even the DARE, it was the ACT of playing with someone, that felt good to me…. and not the constant “your gunna die” conversation. Thats all, and it got BLOWN OUT OF CONTROL.

    I never ment to offend anyone, I thought it was funny, Others CLEARLY did not.. I now see the TONE of the FORUM / certain people. I will get to KNOW them, and they will get to KNOW ME.

    If I wasnt SERIOUS I would still be SMOKING ALL MY CIGARETTES…

    and one last thing… I did not WANT OR INTEND to steer ANY NEW people in MY direction, however MAYBE one of the still FULL TIME smokers WILL try to at least CUT DOWN like I did.

  • Anonymous

    Ok, I’m going to say Yes to that one. Because that’s what I did too on the many other quits where I only smoked 4-5 a day. It didn’t work for me for very long. Don’t screw up and let it burn too long though, or you won’t have your other half left 🙂

  • Anonymous

    ho said you can’t laugh? What I said was I think you’re taking this too cavalierly. You can take something seriously and still laugh about it — witness the CRS and flatulence jokes you see here.

    Yes, the point is absolutely you not smoking — please tell me how smoking four a day equates to not smoking. That four is fewer than forty is stipulated; that you can actually quit that way is not. I’ve been around here too long, and seen too many people fail, to buy into it. Before I got serious about trying to quit, I personally tried that step-down approach, and my experience was just like every other person’s who’s ever tried it — it simply doesn’t work.

    You’re right — it’s not good enough. I smoked a bit longer than you have, and I smoked at least as much as you do. My anecdotal experience dovetails with all the empirical data — cutting way back on your consumption guarantees only one thing: that over time you’re going to be back to your original consumption level. You don’t have to accept the veracity of that fact, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

    What I tell people is to COMMIT. I tell them that they will fail unless and until they COMMIT to being QUIT. And smoking four a day is still smoking; it’s not being quit.

    I tell people this because it’s the only way to beat the habit — it’s the only thing that actually works; everything else is window dressing, and nothing else can substitute for the commitment. Stick around here for awhile, and this is what you’re going to see: most of those who try to do this fail.

    Frankly, they fail because they don’t have the guts to succeed. They want to pretend that NRT or hypnosis or some drug or acupuncture or some other external crutch can provide the commitment to quitting that they don’t want to make.

    Of course, that’s foolish thinking, but it’s why they fail. And the sad part is they don’t want to accept that as the reason. You’ll see them rationalizing that they failed because they chose the patch instead of the gum, or they went with the wrong drug, or they had a bad hypnotist. Rarely are they objective and honest enough to admit that they failed because they allowed themselves to fail.

    I think you can do this — you seem spunky enough and competitive enough.

    But you have to be honest with yourself about what it takes.

    And as I said before, I’m willing to not be your friend if that helps you to succeed.

    I don’t play the “you’re gonna die if you don’t quit” game. And you didn’t offend me.

    (FYI, be careful about what you see and read in the forums. There are lots of bipolars and manics here whose advice can only be considered specious. I’m totally serious.)

    I guess you’re not gonna take my dare?

  • meleah rebeccah

    here we are again, people thinking I am trying to OFFEND or INSTIGATE something, SO NOT THE CASE. Its just so BLAH and DARK to hear OVER AND OVER AND OVER “your gunna die” I was not directing that at YOU, it was a GENERAL statement..

    YES… I AM AWARE, SMOKING WILL KILL ME, I HAVE A BRAIN

    thats WHY I AM HERE…..

    Oh, and I have noticed the BIPOLAR / MANICS as I took a SERIOUS BEATING last night… 102 EMAILS. in one night.

    what is the CRS?? because iF THATS any FUN at all… thats WHERE I need to be.

    Flatulent jokes will suit me FINE as I have CROHNS DISEASE, (thus the reason I am HERE) I dont WANT TO QUIT… I HAVE TO QUIT…

    maybe now that YOU HAVE been here so long, and have been down every PATH and KNOW whats best… can you TRY to REMEMBER what IT WAS LIKE when YOU were NEW, and SCARED?

    How maybe it is POSSIBLE that for someone like me, (who you still DONT KNOW) had to over come alcoholism, and drug addiction, CLEAN/SOBER 4 years and SMOKING was / IS my LAST VICE…

    I am sick of being sick, and I am sick of CONQUERING each and every single DISEASE I HAVE.

    I will QUIT, I HAVE to quit…..thats why I am here, BUT I wont be bullied or forced to do something I am not 100% ready to do.

    Look, you did things YOUR WAY right? wrong or right…. THAT WAS YOUR PROCESS, this is MINE.

    maybe some people need that ROCK BOTTOM to LET IT GO

    either way… I have no idea why i just “explained myself to you” as I dont have to explain myself to anyone.

    But… i will say this, No you dont have to be my friend, but try not being so JUDGEMENTAL or jump to conclusions about me.

    and STEP DOWN worked for my MOTHER (20 years smoke free) and my BEST FREIND LESLIE who is now on 30 days SMOKE FREE after 60 DAYS stepping DOWN. maybe she will smoke again… but maybe ANY OF US WILL.

    the “nicodeamon” is always amongst us.

  • Anonymous

    What judgement have I made about you? All I said was I think you’re spunky enough to succeed at this.

    I made a judgement about your proposed quit strategy, and that judgement is based on both my own anecdotal experience and a significant body of empirical knowledge. But judging your plan isn’t the same as judging you.

    You didn’t offend me in any way. If you want to, you’re going to have to try a lot harder than THAT! 😉

    Let me ask you a serious question: As a recovering alcoholic/addict, would any friend of bill or NA member condone your step-down plan? Does that work with other forms of addiction?

    We both know it doesn’t.

    So why do you think it will work with this one?

    If you can kick drug and alcohol addictions, this is going to be a walk in the park. You don’t need to take 12 steps, but you DO need to accept that this, too, is an addiction…

    (Btw, for what it’s worth, I like your style…)

  • meleah rebeccah

    What judgement have I made about you? All I said was I think you’re spunky enough to succeed at this.

    I made a judgement about your proposed quit strategy, and that judgement is based on both my own anecdotal experience and a significant body of empirical knowledge. But judging your plan isn’t the same as judging you.

    You didn’t offend me in any way. If you want to, you’re going to have to try a lot harder than THAT! 😉

    Let me ask you a serious question: As a recovering alcoholic/addict, would any friend of bill or NA member condone your step-down plan? Does that work with other forms of addiction?

    We both know it doesn’t.

    So why do you think it will work with this one?

    If you can kick drug and alcohol addictions, this is going to be a walk in the park. You don’t need to take 12 steps, but you DO need to accept that this, too, is an addiction…

    (Btw, for what it’s worth, I like your style…)

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