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Just Another Day In An Office

Typical. Boring. Mind Numbing.

I literally spent the last 15 minuets of work yesterday sitting at my desk: with my bags packed, computer shut down, smokes in hand, and sunglasses on my face, while waiting for the ‘Longest Day In The History Of The World’ to come to an end. Much like a kid in a school classroom with their backpack strapped on, waiting for the glorious sound of the release bell to ring.

In light of my funky mood, after having one of those days, I am finding it difficult to be inspired to write. I am not suffering from the dreaded writers block. I just don’t feel like writing. Oddly, that last statement makes me feel incredibly guilty on some strange level.


Rather than get into the details about the ‘Longest Day In The History Of The World’, which also happens to be the very same day as ‘Anything That Could Go Wrong, Did Go Wrong’…

I will leave you with this little treat from my email inbox instead. It’s rather fitting for my current state of mind.

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $1.99 for the first 10 words and $5.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Loretta’ instead of ‘Steve’.

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  • Meleah, it’s something in the New Jersey air. I’m in a funk and evil as *&^^. I too didn’t feel like writing, but I started a post on Monday for Wednesday and just didn’t feel like hitting publish, but I decided to let it go and try to get myself back into the mood to be bothered period. It’s the water.

    You sound like me sitting at your desk waiting to go. Only I read blogs or surf the net. I plan to do a lot of that today, shhhhh.

    No. 10 is a hoot! Hope you have a good day today.

  • You may be in a funk but I couldn’t help but smile at the tone. I think this is funny stuff and if that was your intent then you have succeed.

    I do hope the funk passes and someone has the pleasure of being graced with that wonderful smile of yours.

  • heres to today being the exact opposite of yesterday!!!!

    still no word from my mom… i will let you know when i hear something….

  • Your day sounds like every day lately in my office. We have literally suspended all of our loan processing until the credit markets see some kind of recovery so all there is to do is sit for 10 hours a day and hope the phone rings so we can explain this to yet another frustrated customer.

    I LOVE these auto repsponses and can’t decide which one I’d love to try! Number 4 would work great for the two friends who send me nothing but those forwarded emails every day. At least 4 or 5 a day from each. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve set up a special folder for each so that those worthless emails go straight to the respective folders where I periodically go in and just delete everything.

  • The auto responses are great!! You’ll snap out of it. I think it’s the weather. rain, sun, rain, sun, rain…etc. It sucks! You could take the day off and come help me make 200 gerbera daisies out of fondant…..

  • Meleah

    It MUST BE this damned New Jersey water and air!
    I too spent the day on the internet (shhhhhhh)

    Thats the thing I am not depressed by any means. I was just a little funky. I am glad you can hear me smile with my words. This was intended to be a lighthearted post. Thrilled you got that!

    Please keep me posted, because you know I will keep emailing you for updates.
    Here is to a better day.

    Doesn’t sitting idle like that feel almost as if you are being punished? Especially when there are so many other things and other places you’d like to be!

    The auto responses CRACKED me up too. Im glad you liked them. I think I will try them ALL out today.

    Chef Mom:
    I know they made me laugh.
    I already feel better today. I think I just had a Bad Day.
    I would LOVE to take the day off and visit / help you out.
    Seriously, we need to schedule something!

  • Haha those 10 points are so cool! I may use some of them in my email reply 🙂
    Here, it’s going to be in the 80s today and 90s tomorrow! Heck everyone is looking forward to get out and have fun instead of work. I’ll join the club too 🙂

  • Many years ago, at a job I HATED with every single molecule of my entire being, I was reprimanded (by a “manager”…and I use that term loosely…who I hated even more than the job) for being a “clock watcher”. My response? “You’d watch the clock if you worked with you too.” I quit the next day.

  • Meleah

    I wouldn’t care if it was hailing nails outside. Id rather be ANYWHERE than this desk some days.

    Momo Fali:
    At a job I HATED with every single molecule of my entire being, I was reprimanded (by a “manager”…and I use that term loosely…who I hated even more than the job)”

    OMFG. That is exactly how I feel. Every Day.

    I am happy for you that you were able to QUIT! Good For You.

  • As shitty as the economy is at the moment, it is better to be bored at work then to be bored in the unemployment line. Besides, sitting in the office is heaven compared to picking up broken glass in a glass factory.

  • HAHA. I love these. I’m sorry you’re in a funk, though. Oh, and not wanting to write and feeling guilty about it? I TOTALLY get that, even though it makes no sense. I do exactly the same thing.

  • Now that is something I’m gonna do to a few people. 😀

  • Meleah

    Clear Thinker:
    Agreed. But I am still allowed to loathe my day job some days

    Yeah? Why is THAT? I know it makes No Sense WHATSOEVER, but when / if I dont write I feel guilty. And I am not even PAID to write! hahahaa

    I did it today to some people in the office with a decent sense of humor. It was soooo fun.

  • cmk

    Those were very funny!

    I sometimes think we are REQUIRED to have a day down in the funks every once in awhile. Otherwise, there would be no GREAT reasons for taking mental health days, eating ice cream, or drinking cosmos. Not that I need a reason to do any of those things, but some people might. 😉

  • number 5 looks good it could be a money maker…:)))..and thanks for the props young lady..much appreciated..

  • Ha!!! I love those, especially the last one!!!!

  • I really needed something like that today. My favorite is the “I’m having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team”. That so applies to my place of employment its uncanny. 😀

    Hey, don’t worry about the writing. What ’til you feel inspired again. It usually happens unexpectedly. Just give yourself a break and play for awhile.

  • {{{{HUGS}}}}

  • Meleah

    “reasons for taking mental health days, eating ice cream, or drinking cosmos. ”

    I think I will do all THREE of those tonight!

    Your welcome!

    Michael C:
    he he he he

    Thats also MY favorite!


  • Yesterday sucked, didn’t it? I laughed at the out of office replies. I would be soo tempted to use a couple of those…

  • Meleah

    yesterday really was AWFUL. Glad I was able to put a smile on your face

  • Haha, I love all of those. And I HATE when I just don’t feel; like writing.

  • I have had those days and surprisingly still do. Except now, I fee guilty because I think I’m supposed to be gloriously and fabulously free. Which I am. But everything’s relative. Since I have a disease which forces me to ready all your posts backwards, I now know your funk has passed by and you are having a lot of fun! Or recovering from it…Woo Hoo!

  • Meleah

    Me too! xxoo

    The funkiness had since lifted!!

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