Lately, I’ve been wondering why it’s ‘Virtually Impossible’ for me to find a decent bra. Seriously. Ladies, do you know what I am taking about?
It seems as if ‘The Powers That Be’ in the world of ‘All Things Lingerie’ have come up with damn near every single kind bra – except for ‘The One’ I am searching for.
In the twenty-three years I’ve been wearing brassieres, I am fairly certain I have tried just about every single type of bra ever manufactured. And yet, I still can’t find ‘The Perfect Bra’.
They are luxurious and ever so expensive ‘Over-The-Shoulder-Boulder-Holders’ specifically designed to ‘Lift’ and ‘Separate’. There are some fabulously over priced ‘Tit-Slings’ intended to provide ‘Spectacular Cleavage’ or make you seem larger, filled with removable Water or Air Bags otherwise known as ‘Miracle Bras’. They also have ‘Flopper Stoppers’ which inevitably crush your breasts [and quite possibly a little piece of your soul] often referred to as ‘Sports Bras’.
They have backless bras, and strapless bras, and bras with interchangeable straps. They have ‘Hooter Harnesses’ including balcony bras, or, demi-bras, wherein you can choose from drop cups, or, full cups. There are bras that fasten in the back. And there bras that fasten in the front. You can find halter bras, maternity bras, underwire bras. They even manufacture seamless bras. And, you can find almost all of those ‘Instruments Of Torture’ in a variety of colors, fabrics, styles, and materials.
But I don’t need to be lifted or separated. And I certainly don’t need any extra cleavage. Now, I suppose I could go bra-less, however fellow blogger JD already does that so I don’t have to.
So what the heck am I looking for?
Well that’s simple.
I just want a bra that does NOT make me look like I have Back Fat!
Because I am really sick of looking like I have an ‘extra roll’ underneath the back strap! Especially since I really DON’T have any ‘Back Fat’!
And, here’s whats MOST vexing.
Let’s say that I find a bra that fits, that’s affordable, that I like, and that does NOT give me the appearance of Back Fat – or at least, so I think. I buy the bra, I go home, and I carry on with my life. And everything is great UNTIL [for whatever reason] as soon as I put on the new said bra, and then put clothes on my body = LOOKS LIKE I HAVE BACK FAT!
No Shirt + New Bra = NO BACK FAT [in the dressing room].
Put ON a Shirt + New Bra = LOOKS LIKE I HAVE BACK FAT [in real life].
What The F*ck?
I would even be willing to wear ‘The Kind Of Bra’ that cuts so deeply into my ribcage after a mere five minutes I feel as if I am suffering from the worst case of‘Heart Burn’ simply to avoid having the ‘False Appearance’ of unsightly ‘Back Fat’.
So. Ladies. I am counting on you!
Can anyone tell me where I might find a bra that does NOT actually CREATE back fat?
My dad taught me the German word for bra so I am passing on my knowledge to you – keepsumfrumfloppin
Have you tried the new “The Nakeds” by Victorias secret? They also have the biofit which is very smooth. Also, have you been measured by someone when you buy a bra – you might not be wearing the right size.
Flopper Stoppers… LOVE THAT! I need flopper stoppers, back fat or NOT! Cause mine are ALL FLIPPY FLOPPY… three kids and breast feeding, ya know!? I used to look GOOD!
The best bra I ever had was from Victoria's Secret and was about $50. That is CRAZY…. a bra for that much! But someone had told me she wears nothing but those and they lasted forever. It WAS a great bra, but it finally gave out. Now I'm wearing cheepo walmarts that do NOT stop flopping!
The only bra that actually does exactly what you are asking for the the Unbelievabra by Shapeez. In addition to hiding my back fat, it is the best bra EVER!!!!
Sounds like you need to go around without a shirt more often. It's ok, we won't mind…
Oh! Yay! Im so happy to hear YOU have gotten back on track with your own
exercise routine! Its not easy and its not fun – but after the first six
weeks it gets better! I promise. xoxoxoxo
I am going for the Bra-llelujah too!
I will!
Thanks Bud! you made me laugh this morning!
I tried the 'Nakeds' and I'm not a really big fan. However, I do like the smoothness of the 'Bio-fit'. I definitely don't think I am wearing the right size. 34 is too small, and 38 is way too big, so I've been in the 36 range for some time now. However, maybe since I've been exercising so much I might need to try 34 again!
Really? ZOMG. Thank you!!
ahahahhahah! Thanks Bob!
Oh I used to have REALLY BAD Floppers. SO bad in fact that I needed corrective surgery! Do you remember the NAME of the bra from Victoria Secret? They have so many choices!
Tap Tap Tap…is this working ?
OK, what I was Gunna say is……. I would take all your “faux” back fat to have and to hold until death do us part. You rock. AND……I have NO BRA experience. Altho as time goes on I MAY need some.
Yes It Is!
Ahahahahahah. Thanks Chuck! YOU ROCK!
I'm a sworn sports-bra-er, preferably under-wire, but by the end of the day I can't breathe from its strangle hold on my bosom and the wire digging into my ribcage. AND still have back fat signs. <SIGH>
Unfortunately, I DO have back fat, so I'll be of no help. Good luck!
Doll, I have no idea. You let me know what you find. I'm wearing one I got at Target and last week it was comfy. This week, not so much…
Aaah, Meleah, my dear, I'm afraid it's simply a case of 'keep trying different makes until you find The ONE'! I have found The One after years and years of trying. Actually, I found two 'The Ones' – lucky me!! I just bought the second 'The One' in three colours because I love it so much and can't bear the thought of it wearing out and not being replaceable.
The previous 'The One' was pretty darned good, too, but the shop where I bought it has disappeared! I could scour the shops for that brand (Fantasie) but I have 'The One' No. 2 now, so I don't have to!
And if you need to know, the second 'The One' is a Charnos balcony bra. Very pretty, and fits my 38E shape remarkably well, which is more than I can say for most bras! Far too many of them give you the rolls of fat that you complain of. What's up with that?
UGH!
Ahahahah. Aw. Thanks anyyway. Love you woman
how come bra's never last longer than One Week?!
Oh Thank you Jay! I am going to see if I can find a Charnos balcony bra!
I have been given so many wonderful suggestions on this blog post, hopefully ONE of them will be PERFECT! Or at least NOT five me fake back fat!
In Hebrew I THINK that translates into “Praise the Bra”……….. but I could be mistaken !
I almost blushed reading about the different types of bras. This is an area of special interest for me. As a dude, I support (no pun intended) any woman who wants to go bra-less!
I have heard that going to one of those high-end lingerie shops with the “fitters” is the way to go to solve this problem. Many times I have said to myself, get thee to a fitter. Yet, I always find something else to do such as get a root canal, change the oil in the car, babysit triplet newborns. I'm not sure what my issue is, but I'm taking note of the many great suggestions here that do not involve fitters. P.S. I'm here via Tribal Blogs. Yeah!
I've got nothing. I just want a bra whose straps will STAY on my shoulders. I love wearing a t-shirt and look down at my arms to see my bra strap hanging out the bottom of my sleeve.
ahahahahaha
Im not that brave!
Trial Blogs RULES!! Thanks for dropping by! Wait. Do you have triplet newborns? Because if that was me- finding a bra would be my LAST concern too!
Oh that's so annoying too!
I hate Bra shopping, hate it with a passion, probably because I have no tits and why do I even bother but anyways I try. I have tried expensive ones, cheap ones and in between. I think I need to be fitted, and really where does that happen??? Now, I don't have the back fat problem but I have SERIOUS butt and thigh issue problems, meaning with pants I can have some serious roll issues. Anyways, you need to get Lypo in a Box. I got it from Tyra Banks show. OMG! Awesome. They have it for upper and lower body. It is sooo snug going on and you think you are going to die but once it is on it feels great and I can wear it all day and it SMOOTHS everything out. I just love it!!!
Really? Lypo in a Box? I'm already a FAN! Thanks Lucy!! xoxo
🙂
You are not alone with this.. I hate bra shopping 🙁
I LOATHE Bra Shopping! 🙂
I realize that finding the right bra is difficult for ladies. I've heard this from different sources. Wish I could help.
I honestly rarely notice back fat unless the person actually has a lot of it. (And I notice everything) So maybe it's not as bad to the guys in your life as it is to you and the other women commenting. Just a thought. Actually thinking about it more, I usually assume it's the strap digging in too tight honestly. Guys aren't completely clueless.
But I know you're doing it for you, not for some dumb ass guy, so good luck!
My BFF ATB says she has NO IDEA what I am talking about. She told me my 'back fat' is all in my head! But I think it's there – and like you said, I need to find the right bra FOR ME!
You need to get fitted. I had my first fitting about a year ago and it was an eye opening experience since I should have been wearing a larger cup size since I was about 13. Who knew? And now, no back fat. However, once you find 'the one' be sure to buy three or four because they will discontinue the bra as soon as you have found it.
i have NO chest whatsoever. nothing. nada. zilch, so i can't help you here. i want boobs, but i can't afford them. i know why i have a drawer full of underwear, but not sure why i have two drawers full of bras. bait, i reckon, that i really don't need.
push ups still. wow. i did some today, but not the man or woman kind, but the gay kind. they were so gay, but that's all i could do.
do you really need a bra. just wear two band-aids over your nipples and go free. you have perky D's. be free. 🙂
great line!
Thank you Jennifer~ I will go this week! You rule!
Aww! I love you Valerie!
The Gay Kind of Push Ups? Ahahahahahahaha
Must Have Bra!
I *heart* Seinfeld!
Well I've been looking for something which will assist my older (sagging) boobs so I'll be reading every one of these comments to see if there is any hope for this old lady.
What a great question..
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
That is one subje3ct I cannot help you with 😀