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In Search Of The Perfect Bra

Lately, I’ve been wondering why it’s ‘Virtually Impossible’ for me to find a decent bra. Seriously. Ladies, do you know what I am taking about?

It seems as if ‘The Powers That Be’ in the world of ‘All Things Lingerie’ have come up with damn near every single kind bra – except for ‘The One’ I am searching for.

In the twenty-three years I’ve been wearing brassieres, I am fairly certain I have tried just about every single type of bra ever manufactured. And yet, I still can’t find ‘The Perfect Bra’.

They are luxurious and ever so expensive ‘Over-The-Shoulder-Boulder-Holders’ specifically designed to ‘Lift’ and ‘Separate’. There are some fabulously over priced ‘Tit-Slings’ intended to provide ‘Spectacular Cleavage’ or make you seem larger, filled with removable Water or Air Bags otherwise known as ‘Miracle Bras’. They also have ‘Flopper Stoppers’ which inevitably crush your breasts [and quite possibly a little piece of your soul] often referred to as ‘Sports Bras’.

They have backless bras, and strapless bras, and bras with interchangeable straps. They have ‘Hooter Harnesses’ including balcony bras, or, demi-bras, wherein you can choose from drop cups, or, full cups. There are bras that fasten in the back. And there bras that fasten in the front. You can find halter bras, maternity bras, underwire bras. They even manufacture seamless bras. And, you can find almost all of those ‘Instruments Of Torture’ in a variety of colors, fabrics, styles, and materials.

But I don’t need to be lifted or separated. And I certainly don’t need any extra cleavage. Now, I suppose I could go bra-less, however fellow blogger JD already does that so I don’t have to.

So what the heck am I looking for?

Well that’s simple.

I just want a bra that does NOT make me look like I have Back Fat!

Because I am really sick of looking like I have an ‘extra roll’ underneath the back strap! Especially since I really DON’T have any ‘Back Fat’!

And, here’s whats MOST vexing.

Let’s say that I find a bra that fits, that’s affordable, that I like, and that does NOT give me the appearance of Back Fat – or at least, so I think. I buy the bra, I go home, and I carry on with my life. And everything is great UNTIL [for whatever reason] as soon as I put on the new said bra, and then put clothes on my body = LOOKS LIKE I HAVE BACK FAT!

No Shirt + New Bra = NO BACK FAT [in the dressing room].
Put ON a Shirt + New Bra = LOOKS LIKE I HAVE BACK FAT [in real life].

What The F*ck?

I would even be willing to wear ‘The Kind Of Bra’ that cuts so deeply into my ribcage after a mere five minutes I feel as if I am suffering from the worst case of‘Heart Burn’ simply to avoid having the ‘False Appearance’ of unsightly ‘Back Fat’.

So. Ladies. I am counting on you!

Can anyone tell me where I might find a bra that does NOT actually CREATE back fat?

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  • territerri

    OMG I know! What is that back fat thing about? I've noticed that too! And I'm sure I don't really have back fat, but even my Victoria's Secret bras, which I pretty much love, will make me have the appearance of back fat. Ugh. I will be closely following your blog for solutions!

  • I hope you find what you're looking for too!

  • Thanks Anway!

  • That is my EXACT problem Terri!
    I will do my best investigating and I am totally going on a MISSION to try on ALL of the bra suggested in these comments!

  • Gosh I don't know what to say on this as my objective is usually to get them taken off.

  • Oh Lord, if you do ever find out, please let me know!

  • ahahahahhahahahaha

  • Will do!

  • So agree! Good luck! The best one I've found is from Spanx called Bra-llelujah! and you can get it online at spanx dot com

    Visiting form TB

  • If you find out where to get a good bra I hope that you write another post about it. Last time I looked I had trouble too. Every bra made my boobs look 3 sizes larger compaired to my old bra. People might have thought I had a boob job! So I didn't get it. Still need some some new ones, so keep us posted. @@

  • lindamedrano

    Now, the mystery is that I do not have back fat at all without a bra. I need a bra because I have bosoms. When I put one on, it (back fat) magically appears. I think I need one of those full body deals that comes up to my neck and squeezes everything nice and tight. Okay, but then the problem would be fat neck and fat ankles and feet. I really just don't know what to suggest.

  • I cant wait to get that bra!

  • I will definitely write a follow up blog post if I ever find a decent bra!
    At least NOW I have a million suggestions to chose from!

  • That is my EXACT problem!
    UGH! One day I will find the perfect bra and let everyone know about it!

  • I'll post the same information to my blog, thanks for ideas and great article.

  • Oscar

    Duct tape, and cotton squares. Like the “special areas” with cotton, then use the exposed tape to fasten, makes any style and can be wide to reduce back “fat”.

    I don't know My mind went silly there.

    Not even gonna say anything like “I'll help” as there are probably 100 of those. LOL

  • Ahahahahahah Duct Tape!

  • Shaybabe96

    The Unbelievabra by Shapeez. Now they finally got it right. A real molded cup that from the back looks like your aren't even wearing a bra at all! Completely smooth. I didn't believe it till I tried it but it works like they say it does.

  • REALLY?? *must have*

  • Thanks for providing your insights into how one might find bras that fit well.  It’s useful knowing that a major feature is a bra that doesn’t make your back look chunky.

  • Thanks for providing your insights into how one might find bras that fit well.  It’s useful knowing that a major feature is a bra that doesn’t make your back look chunky.

  • Thanks for providing your insights into how one might find bras that fit well.  It’s useful knowing that a major feature is a bra that doesn’t make your back look chunky.

  • ashleyjess


  • Um…..?

  • I think finding the perfect bra is really tough work for every women. First I believe that every women should know her breast size and bra size so she can sure about her size while buying the bra. I suggest that every women should check her breast size one time in week. And need to take lesson about how to get perfect bra according to your size.

  • Anonymous

    Bra is a step back and pay the front clip. You can get throat halter bra with underwire maternity bra. Even produce seamless bra. You can find almost all these instruments of torture in different colors, fabrics, styles and materials.

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