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If I Didn’t Already Hate George W. Bush II…

alert.pdf (this was sent around my office at 2pm)

I Do Now.

(Damn! And just when I said I wouldn’t write about politics.)

Um, yeah so this asshole rides into my state and decides to fuck up the entire! evening ! commute! The arrogance! How can one person be responsible for shutting down every. single. major. traffic. artery. in the state of New Jersey? Oh, that’s easy…because he is an average C student and a selfish prick.

Yesterday, (see the alert file attached above) The New Jersey Turnpike, The Garden State Parkway, Route 1, Route 9, Route 287, Route 27, Raritan Center, and any town USA (with a ‘main street’) was closed… Closed? Closed! As in shut-down, in ALL DIRECTIONS: North, South, East and West. And during the evening rush hour, from 4:30 pm – 7:30 pm to boot.

Gee? Wonder why?

Because we have a President with so many enemies, after having made so many poor choices and so many bad decisions, that he is now at the highest risk for mad crazy protesting.

(Yeah, well… duh.)

If I may speak, to said President, on a personal level, this is the message I would like to make crystal clear:

“Hey! Brainiac! You did not score any points with any one I know in Jersey. In fact, by making all of us suffer, for you convenience, you have managed to accomplish the impossible = more enemies.”

(Which, to any rational human being, poses a multitude of questions.)

“Mr. President, have you ever heard of consideration? I mean….For others? Any consideration, at all…for the general public, as a rule? Hmm? … No? Well, let me be the one to school you.”

“Here is an idea, the next time you borrow some one else balls that are big enough to cross my state line, and you want to schedule a meeting with us nice folk…how about you try something more along the lines of 10 am, ya know? That way, we (the general public) are already at our perspective jobs, or homes, an not trapped together (now as the angry general public) on sweaty highways after spending a day, in a cubical, we most likely didn’t want to be in, in the first place, for some magical social security check, that we may never receive…thanks to you.”

(yes that was a very long, run-on sentence… it just seems appropriate for a “C ” student)

“And another thing you might want to take in to consideration (even though we have made it clear, that consideration, is not quite one of your strong points)… If you had scheduled this meeting complete with the rest of the stupefied, at the10am-ish time slot I suggested earlier, you may have GAINED supporters, rather than pissing more of us off.”

“I, for one, would have been happy to attend some gathering in the interest of constructive political change. And the idea of a meeting of that magnitude would have been an excellent excuse to get out of having to show up at that cubical that makes most of us (me) violently ill. Had you chosen my idea, thus making you a hero, maybe even a friend to us (the general public) you wouldn’t need to shut down every. single. major. traffic. artery…. for fear. of. mad.crazy.protesting”

“Hello? Do you know us at all? We, the general public, all could all use a free, justifiable day off, from work.”

“In the event you continue to remain as dumb as the day you were born (which is now rather obvious after yesterday’s events) in the future, may I be so bold and suggest that any and all commuting needs be executed in the dark. Why don’t you simply try relocating between the hours of 2am and 6 am, cuz we (general public) would all really appreciate that.”

“Oh wait, I forgot, trying to talk to you, is like trying to teach an ant to speak…you just cant.”

In closing, “Stay out of my state. We have enough traffic problems, with the constant perpetuation and construction that happens every year, every May, through late August.”

Thank you and good day.

Oh, and forthe TV lover in you, please go read this little number I wrote, that involves Jerry Springer, David Hasslehoff and Sharon Osbourne.

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  • JENNIFER

    I ♥ this post for so many reasons, but not as much as I ♥ mint, & you.

  • This is quite cruel and I am greatly disappointed in you. Would you go up to a retarded kid and tell him you hate him?

  • Yo Momma

    OMG! This is so funny that I had people coming into my office to see why I was laughing so loud. (Although, I must say I do have to agree with Greg. Really, Mel, you’re better than that!)

  • Yo Momma

    OMG! This is so funny I had people coming into my office to find out why I was laughing so loud. Great post! (although I must say I have to agree w/ Greg — You really are better than than, Mel!)

  • Meleah

    Greg: maybe I would Maybe I am one of those kinds of heartless soul-less people!

    Jen: I heart mint and you too

    Mom: Glad you and your office enjoyed!

  • AL

    Dear M

    Great blog! You really nailed the pain and anger. Yes, once again, we’ve been ‘Bush-whacked’. As one who has sat in traffic on New Jersey’s highways or had to walk across town in NYC because the Decider-In-Chief decided to visit, I share your pain and outrage. Once again, the hard-working public gets shown no respect by people so out of touch they don’t even remember (if they ever knew!) what it is to work for a living. Commute with us for a month, Mr. President and then you’ll know what it’s like to have your trip to or from work turned into a traffic ‘Lord Of The Rings’ adventure!

    Way to go, M!

    Al

  • Francisco V

    Mel??

    Don’t you dare get me started about politics, I’m not going there not matter what.

    Great blog though.

    FV

  • George Bush an all-around idiot? Say it isn’t so!

  • thank you so much for all of your support… i am really enjoying myself, and i am so happy i met you… you seem like my kinda girl!!!!

  • While I completely empathize with your frustration, are we really surprised that a guy who feels he deserves a month vacation as THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD to go ranching in Texas doesn’t understand the concerns of working class citizens?

    Sorry you were stuck, and thanks for turning your anger into something that can make others smile. We could use more of that kind of thinking in the world.

  • King George’s term will be over soon and the 2008 elections can’t come soon enough.

    Our first, worst and only king.

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