Yes people.
I am officially ‘Rapidly Aging’.
And I have proof.
Do ya’ll remember how after ‘Eleven Weeks’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’, I started to notice those ‘Mysterious Painful Lumps’ on my ‘Right Leg’ in addition to suffering from those annoying ‘Crippling Shin Splints’?
You do?
Good.
Well, apparently, these ‘Mysterious Painful Lumps’ are definitely NOT normal.
My doctor ran some tests including an ‘Ultra Sound’ in search of finding ‘Blood Clots’.
But of course, the ‘Results’ came back ‘Inconclusive’.
Eventually, after ‘Fourteen Weeks‘ of ‘Doing Things Differently’, I bought new ASIC sneakers and the ‘Crippling Shin Splints’ magically went away.
[YAY.]
However, the ‘Mysterious Painful Lumps’ did not go away.
[BOO.]
Therefore, my ‘Primary Care Physician’ referred me to a ‘Vascular Surgeon.’
[Which totally sounds a lot scarier than it is. ]
After a few weeks of obsessing, and worrying, and slightly freaking out, it seems as if I don’t really have any cause for concern. In fact, my appointment went much smoother than I had anticipated. Based upon a few simple tests, the ‘Vascular Surgeon’ determined that I have a mild case of ‘Inverted Varicose Veins’.
[Lucky. Me.]
And while they are painful, they do not require any type of surgery at this time.
Instead?
I am being forced to wear this lovely ‘Accessory.’
As you can clearly see for yourself, this ‘Medical LegWear’ really doesn’t ‘Go’ with any of my ‘Outfits.’
Especially because I am not over 75 years old.
[Although my body may disagree.]
Yep.
I have been walking around with this unsightly thingy on my leg.
But so far, I have ONLY worn it when I can spend the day ‘Indoors’.
And, I have only worn it when it’s cool enough to wear pants, thus hiding this hideous ‘Compression Stocking’.
Of course, I am required by ‘Doctors Orders’ to wear this ‘Stocking’ with my ‘Outfits’ especially when I go ‘Outside’ to exercise.
And I am supposed to keep it on my leg for at least one hour after wards.
So, I am going to be brave, I am going to be bold, and I am going to completely humiliate myself when I leave my house to take my walk looking like this:
[Sorry this photo is so blurry. But I have NO IDEA how to set the ‘Self-Timer’ on my real camera so I had to take this one using my computer and that means every time I hit the ‘PhotoBooth’ button I had all of ‘Three Seconds’ to get into position and pose. This was the best I could do people. But I think you get the gist. Yes?]
And clearly, I need to work on my tan. Because my super white skin is absolutely blinding
Now, while I think I will be able to handle walking around my block, seven times in a row [otherwise known as Two Miles], looking like this, I am pretty sure I will never be able to handle the kind of abuse I’d receive if I ever wore this on the Golf Course!
The stocking is suppose to help the varicose veins dissipate at least enough to make them stop hurting! So far they only make my toes feel numb!
PHEW!!!! Love the look because really and truly that is good news!!!! I was worried and kept waiting and waiting for a post!!!
If I looked like you do, I would have no problem wearing that stocking. It's only when you ARE old that it makes you look….well….older!!
Holy freakin' hell girl! You would be so incredibly hot if it wasn't for the granny support hose you're half wearing! LOL. Seriously, you just turned my *girl crush* into all-out-I've-just-switched-teams lust!! Momma Mia indeed 🙂
Maybe you could tye-dye the thing?
I hope you are using sun screen.
I think u look absolutely hot and sexy. love u Mel-e-aaaaaaaah
Im pretty relived too!
Awww. Thanks Babs! 🙂
AHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!! I love you Nicky! Ahahahahahhhah
I love you more! 🙂
In the words of that song….”You wear it well…..” :))
Aww, Meleah…I have those little bumps as well – pretty much for as long as I can remember, but they aren't painful so I just never bothered to pay them much attention. Maybe I should check with a vascular surgeon too and I can keep you company with your new “outfit”! 🙂 But, seriously, I think you look great, “medical leg wear” and all. Put some artwork on there and wear your stocking proudly! It's all about perspective, right?
NEVER! Sunscreen is for wimps! And infants. Just kidding!
🙂
Thanks Woman! You should REALLY get that check out. Then we can be Medical Leg Wearing Twins! 🙂
You made me laugh with your prosthetic leg caption. LOLZ. For an 'old' lady you look damn good. I am really glad the lumps are nothing serious. What a relief!
For what it's worth, you're looking good for an aging lady! 😛
Seriously – you're looking great, and since those bumps are nothing to worry about – enjoy!
If it's gonna help your leg heal, who cares what people think 😀 Besides I hardly noticed it 😀
Day-um, chickie, who cares about some stupid stocking when you've got rockin' flat abs! You look great!
It's probably little consolation, but at least they're not external varicose veins. Those can be very ugly. My mom recently had surgery to remove some of hers, which were not only unsightly but very painful. I hope you will be free of the compression stocking very soon. (Hey, at least you're not fat. A fat let in a compression stocking looks very much like a sausage trying to escape its casing.)
Thanks Selma! xoxo <3
Aw!
Thanks Nick!
“A fat leg in a compression stocking looks very much like a sausage trying to escape its casing.” AHAHHAHAhahahaahahahahhaHAHHAhahaha
Not that I would know or anything. 😉
You are so cute it doesn't matter and remember it wasn't anything serious thus……happiness as you will live to be old and wrinkliee and I can say at 63…it ain't fun. have a great day..
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
I don't really think it looks as bad as you probably think it does. I see tons of people wear stuff like that all the time around here. Runners who have bad knees, etc. Not a big deal. I think you look fine. 🙂
How long do you have to wear it?
I'm very glad that it wasn't something serious! You have such an awesome figure I'm sure nobody even notices your multicolored legs.
I knew I was starting to get old when I realized why people wore shoes around the house for support.
I don't know. It might actually be kind of a cool thing to wear. The student athletes I see at my kid's school seem to want to wear extra things on their ankles and wrists and knees and elbows. You could be starting a new fashion trend.
Anyway, I'm glad to hear that it is nothing life threatening. And you are looking fantastic, by the way!
It would be a shame to let your sexy new hosiery go without matching apparel. You can find some nice items here:
http://www.silverts.com/show.cfm/list/women/footwear
Bud aka Older Eyes
xoxo <3
Im supposed to wear it while exercising and for at least one hour afterwards.
Aw. Thanks. Im definitely aging too!
Thanks Terri. And as long as this makes me look MORE athletic then I'm OKAY with it!
xoxoxo
THANK YOU!
Oooh. Nice pair of gams there. I'm sure no one will notice your prosthetic leg. At least you are able to walk the block with this new fashion attire.
You could always milk it for the sympathy vote.
Or how about draw a fake tattoo on the leg wear. It'll make everyone really take notice.
I like the tattoo idea!!
Don't worry about wearing the stocking outside; with your face and figure no one will notice it much anyway.
🙂
Um, no! Sorry that look does NOT suit you at all! but I understand the need for it. Your leg does not look good at all in that picture.
I hate it!!!!!
poor baby. hope you are better.
The dreaded “prosthetic” may look hideous from a fashion sense..but the alternative to not doing anything could be far more devastating and possibly fatal. Before most come see me as a cardiac sonogrpaher they have their leg “lumps” scanned.
Thanks Val. Love you woman! xoxo
yep. I had all kinds of tests done. And the compression stocking is what I am supposed to do. And even though I hate it? I am going to wear it as required.
That Jobst Medical LegWear is so totally hot! Do you think you might be able to put one on the other leg and take another photo for me, because I'm telling you, it's really got me worked up into a lather! No more corsets and flimsy negligees for me! From now on it's Medical LegWear all the way!
You are either really funny or really disturbed! Either way I am a fan!