Listen up, pretty little faces. I really believe 2012 is definitely my year. And here’s why.
After buying a brand new totally-super-swag desk chair I’ve been overwhelmed with inspiration. In fact, I’ve been on a non-stop writing extravaganza wherein I managed to knock out three new chapters. This might be the year I never get any sleep, and this might be the year I rarely update my blog, but I swear on everything holy, I’m going to finish my novel.
[Although, now that I’ve declared it out loud? I’ve probably jinxed myself.]
But that’s not why I brought you here today.
Nope.
I brought you here to share some glorious news.
Apparently, I’m a millionaire.
Yep!
And I didn’t even have to degrade myself like the contestants on The Bachelor or Kim Kardashian.
According to the totally real and not spam email below – I never have to worry about money again.
“After much attempts to reach you on phone, I deemed it necessary and urgent to contact you via your e-mail address and to notify you finally about your outstanding compensation payment. During our last annual calculation of your banking and Internet activities we realized that you are eligible to receive a compensation payment of $2,811,041.00 USD – TAX FREE. This compensation is being made to all of you who have suffered losses as a result of fraud, accident, or illness. For more information, contact the DIRECT UNIVERSAL EXPRESS AGENT for the delivery of your cashier check.”
Who wants to celebrate? Drinks are on me.
IF. ONLY.
Seriously though.
What would you do with two-million-tax-free-dollars?
Anne,
I think they just make up a bunch of shit and hope something in the email rings true to the reader, in hopes of scamming them.
Congratulations, Dan!
That is AWESOME!
You’re so good Jayne!
Oh, I’d LOVE to see Paris one day!
It IS a Magic Chair!
I’m excited to hear you’re making so much progress on your novel! I know nothing about it but I’m pretty sure I’d read it 😉
lol you’ve got to love the way the scams really try to make you believe you’re a winner. If I were a millionaire, I’d pay of all debt, add on to our house, buy a bunch of fabric and sewing stuff, take Mike to his favorite restaurant, invest a little bit, and save the rest.
I’d convert it into £ and then buy a bungalow somewhere flatter than here 😉
I WOULD BUY MY MOM’S BEACH HOUSE!! Then I would bring the kids there and be a stay at home Mom. The end.
Awwww. Thank you!
Perfect, Jules!
Good one, Babs!
AWESOME
Hahaha! Well… Let us see. A few million. I would … do what I am doing now too. (cause i just quit my job) – but Hubs wouldn’t be so stressed about it 🙂
🙂
First thing I would do is pay the ER bill from me hitting my head when I hit the floor. After that, I would write St. Judes a check for $250K. I have been blessed with healthy kids but it is my favorite charity. I would then pay off my student loans, buy a house (I have never been a homeowner), and then pay off my parents’ house so they can retire debt free. After all that, I might offer to help a friend publish her novel which she promises me will be finished this year!
🙂
Traci
I would have hubby put in for retirement, buy our (modest) dream house, build hubby a big workshop, buy a car, help some friends, and donate to the Humane Society.
I’m on the fence on that one….haha. You could join me after I stopped at your haunt!
Awwww! I love it, Traci!
Most excellent.
Ahahahhahahahahha
Guess what? We can be millionares together because I totally got that real and not spam email too! I’ll let you know whether or not I still have a bank account as soon as I get a response from Dr. Narwallei Majamboo (the guy who sent me the email). Yay!
By the way…GOOOOOOOO on your novel! I totally want to read it!!!
HOLLA!
Okay! Soon!
xoxoxo
I have no idea what I’d do with that kind of money. Live like the Kardashians? Save whales and rainforests?
Please don’t live like the Kardashians!
Besides a long, restful vacation probably not much more. I can honestly say, I’m happy with my life. All that money would probably only complicate things in the end.
Really?
I’d move to Australia, get some land in the middle of nowhere and build a nice shack to suit 🙂
You go girl! Keep plugging away on your novel – you getting inspired inspires me, so keep it up! XOXO
Awesome!
Woot!
Good for you with those chapters and the novel, and wow…get that baby done so we can read it! And if I won the lottery, I would probably move to Florida…not very exciting I know…I’m not as greedy as I thought I was.
I’d get a house of my own! With a garden!
You know, I actually stopped and gave it some thought. I mean, sure, I’d move out of the ghetto and get a nicer car, but I’m working on those things anyway so it’s not like I’d do it BECAUSE I won the lottery. Besides, I need goals and if I didn’t have to work hard to get the things I want, what would my goals be? I think all that easy money would be really fun but it probably would be really bad for me too.
HA! Why Florida?
Nice! Me too.
Gotcha.
i love when i get emails like that. sometimes i reply with some not so nice words. other times, i just tell them to show me the money. you will be rich and famous when your book hits. i WILL be buying it and then sending it off to you to autograph.
Awwww! Thanks, Val!
xoxox
WTF!!! I received a similar email! I am starting to feel a little jaded about the whole thing now that I see others are winning MORE than the $1.9 million they were . Of course, the fact that they wanted me to send them $2800 to cover the necessary fees was not suspicious at all.
If I were to somehow to get my hands on a million dollars, I would give most of it away, build my dream home and studio and live happily ever after.
Don’t you wish just ONE of these emails were REAL!
If I counted all the times I won this UK lottery, a dead relative no one in my family has heard of, some sweep stakes, my mobile/email ids being chosen at random etc etc. – I would be a gazzilionaire. I’d buy this planet with that money!!!
HA!!
I would buy up enough copies of your novel to put you on the NYT best seller list!!! 😉
I’m going to hold you to that offer!!