Do you remember as a child building a fort, or a bridge, or a tower out of wooden blocks? When it was completed, you stood so proud looking at your great achievement. Then…suddenly…your sibling strolls in and knocks down your architectural wonder in the space of seconds…running off…laughing…in the wake of total devastation. The ruins of your edifice lie at your feet. You’re standing in the midst of the destruction. The surreal scene replays in the minds eye over and over again. Your first impulse is to rebuild piece by piece, but frustration, anger, and exhaustion prevent you from taking that course of action.
Well, that day has resurfaced to haunt me once again.
Only this time…it’s my current living situation that lies in ruins…and all of my medical disabilities are that sibling…the one that strolled in…knocking down all I have built.
For reasons that are far beyond my control, it appears the inability to support myself any longer, while trying to manage all of my health issues, might be forcing me to move in… to move in with… to move in with my…dare I speak these words… my, my, my…
Parents.
Wait. Let me rephrase that.
Yes.
I am moving back in with My Parents.
[insert gun in mouth?]
For the past 4 days, I have been struggling with the decision to either:
1. Find a way to keep on fighting to stay in my condo?
OR
2. If I should just surrender?
Of course, the strong willed, determined, fighter in me, during full blown panic mode, and while using all of my last ditch efforts, tried to figure out any and all ideas that could, or would, keep me in the sanctuary of my own home. I spent the first 48 hours straight scheming.
I asked my current landlord for a rent reduction. One that I know he will never agree too, but I had to take a shot.
I looked into part time jobs.
I talked to my boss about a raise.
There is the possibility of seeking out entirely new employment.
I tried to try to find another apartment, one that falls more within my price range. However, to keep my son in the stable environment he has come to love and depend on means I have to stay in my area. My ‘area’ doesn’t exactly have ‘affordable’ housing.
Then, I considered a bunch of CRAZY ideas. [if you only knew what really goes on this head sometimes] But, I am just too old for that sort of nonsense. I have too much dignity and gained too much self respect to allow myself to do ‘things’ I would only regret later or that will make me feel ashamed.
So, instead, I spent the next 48 hours writing it all out. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t eat. I just wrote. I wrote at least 12 pages about the ‘backstory’ and how hard I have worked to get HERE. Here, in this very house I am living. I wrote at least another 12 pages of how hard I have been fighting to STAY HERE.
Believe you me when I tell you to ‘Thank Me’ for not posting all of that.
And then, I just cried. A lot.
Before I can even get into all of the fear surrounding the idea of moving back home with my Mom, Dad, and Poppa Sye, and before I can even begin to explain how painful it will be to capitulate my privacy, freedom and my independence…What’s really been bothering me so much? Whats been the driving force behind my total devastation?
The feeling of being a failure has been swallowing me whole.
When it felt like the world I have worked so hard to create was crashing down around me, there was so much resentment in my head and my heart. I was very angry thinking about how much I have already had to sacrifice over this last year. Take for instance the food issue, the fact that I can’t even enjoy the simple things like a bowl of mashed potatoes or a sip of Cranbury juice, was annoying at best.
But, now, on top of everything that has gone down this last year, knowing that I have to give up my house too? Well, that was just more than I could stomach.
My house is the single tangible representation of what I have accomplished over the last 5 years. To me, my house is the concrete proof of all my hard work, slaving, fighting, and surviving.
I am sad to say that after such careful construction to define every inch of my perfect living quarters, and using every hand crafted block in my proverbial arsenal to build my super fortress, now, I have to walk away.
I have finally decided to surrender. The gloves are off. I am done running circles in my head trying to find a another way only to prolong the inevitable.
I have begun to take a look at this whole thing from a completely different perspective, with different eyes.
I understand the most important thing is for me to get healthy again. I won’t be any good to anyone, or capable of doing any job, or paying any bill until I am better. I have painfully come to realize that hanging on to my house, the one that I love so much, the same one I cannot afford, is not helping my health issues. The stress of the bills, coupled with the disgusting amount of rent I have to pay, leaves me laying awake every night in cold sweats. The constant thinking, plotting, planning, begging, and borrowing, is one of the biggest factors in my life that only makes me sicker.
I know the sweetest night of sleep I will ever have is when I can close my eyes and not have all of that hanging over me. I know that if I sleep well, my body will have a better chance of healing. I know that by living under the protective roof of My Parents, I will be granted much needed relief, which, in turn, increase my chances of getting healthy again. And faster.
But, I have been on my own for soooo many years. How am I going to live with other people? Especially with people who are of the authoritarian nature. Ya’ll know I can’t even follow the rules of blog memes. How am I going to deal with new rules, or being told what to do? Will that angry teenager who still rages inside of me be awaken, or, will I be able to rise to the occasion like an adult?
Fortunately, I am already close with my family as most of you can tell from all the videos and photos. Us, Italians have to stick together. It’s not uncommon for whole families to live under one roof.
I am beginning to see how all of the possibilities of living together as one family will not only benefit me, but all of the parties involved.
I do like the fact that I won’t be or feel so alone anymore.
But I will really miss my alone time. A time I have come to treasure.
I really like the fact that for the first time in years, or maybe even ever, I will be able to save my money. I will have money in my pocket. Actual paper bills. And I will finally (after FOUR YEARS) be able to buy new shoes (instead of coloring in my scuffed ones with a black permanent magic marker).
But it’s not about the material things. Even though who ever said, “Money can’t buy happiness” just doesn’t know where to shop.
It;s about realizing that sometimes in life, you have to take a step backward in order to move forward.
It’s about reclaiming my energy, my drive, and my desire to live my life…without the constant anchor tied around my ankle…that feeling of drowning and suffocation.
It’s about embracing all my family has to offer, and giving back to them.
My son will get to live with three generations of men. Lord knows he needs at least one good male role model. Now he will have TWO.
My father will have people (like me and my son) to play his practical jokes on.
My son and my father can have their chess wars again. Or play golf, and tennis.
My mother and I will have each other to go walking with. We might even join a gym together. It will be nice to do girly things together. Like pedicures.
One of the best things about this (entire scary move) will be that I am going to really be able to focus on writing. Since I won’t be under the weight of the world, I might even decide to learn how to spell and use grammar properly.
Another bonus, I won’t even have to do my usual 5 -6 hour Sunday-Silk-Wood-Scrub-Down of my house anymore. My Parents have cleaning people. Cleaning people! People that will clean? For Me? Really?
Do you know what I can do with 5 whole hours on a Sunday? (Hmm… learn me some grammar? Rip into a Thesaurus? Get a better command of the written word or English Language? Or simply SLEEP).
Do you know what I will be able to do with that 1800 I spent every month just on rent? (Ahhh, new clothes).
I mean, I wont be living over there like a squatter. I will be paying my parents rent. Holy. Hell. I can even pay them back for all the ‘loans’ I have taken out over the course of my life time. But not at 1800 dollars a month!
To give me a little extra incentive or something to look forward to, my father suggested that once I am settled in, feeling better, and have saved up enough money, that I should look into going away on my dream vacation: spending two weeks in ITALY! (Except…I might not ever come back) Or, I might even plan that traveling tour which includes visiting certain bloggers I am dying to meet. (You know who you are).
Of course, I still have major trepidations; I am still very wary and very nervous about personality clashes, mood swings, or other arguments that will arise once I am moved in lock stock and barrel, but hey, that just might make for some good blog material. Right?
It is going to be a bit crowded, and certainly cramped, but thankfully, we all have our own separate rooms to go to when or if we need to escape being on top of each other.
The next few weeks are going to be rather hectic for me and my family. Aside from the holidays creeping up on us, now, I have to start packing up all of the things I love so dearly. The first thing I am going to do, is decide what I absolutely MUST bring with me, and then throw out or give away the rest.
There is also a lot of work to do over at my mothers house in order to make room for me and JCH to squeeze in there. So my weekends from here on out will be filled with trips to the storage units, moving furniture, packing boxes, cleaning house, and pairing down to the bare minimums.
In the mean time, I am going to spend as much time in this home , as long as I have this home to be in. I want to sit and bask in all of its glory and beauty…before I have to let it go.
This move isn’t going to happen over night. In fact, I am hoping to stretch this out as long as possible. Hopefully all the way until my lease ends in January. But, I don’t know how all that is going to pan out just yet.
On the one hand, yes…there are a lot of really great reasons to go back home.
But…on the other hand, I wish I could have all that is great about My Parents house AND been able to stay here.
(oh, yeah, and…I am still pretty scared).
I was going to encourage you to find the silver linings and make them your focus but it sounds like you’ve already come to that point (as hard as it can be to commit to).
Instead , I draw from my own experience of living with my father-in-law for three months while my house was in-progress.
-Resist falling into the relationship that you had back when your parents were your number one authorities.
-Communicate.
-Set out as many guidelines for each other as possible and don’t be afraid to discuss them and revise them.
-Don’t let your anger fester. Get it out in the open and let those living with you know that you’re bothered by something.
Good luck and stuff! 🙂
You already know my thoughts on your current living situation. I’d proud of you Melz. xoxoxoxo
Meleah…what a plan! I know its going to be tough living with your parents again. But you are making the right decision for you and most importantly your son!
I am proud of you!
I remember the agonizing over the move back to my mother’s house. It wasn’t that I couldn’t afford to live on my own, it was many other factors…I give you two thumbs up for seeing the potential in this situation!
By the way, I was a former (short term) lurker, but I love the writing. I’ll be back!
Jason:
Thank you. I am going to need your snide get well cards and all of your snarkiness to get me through all of this. I mean I AM currently focusing on the silver lining and all, but yanno, as it gets closer and for the first month or two once I am “in” the house, you people need to make me LAUGH.
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Leslie:
Well, now I will be able to afford to VISIT your ass, and when I gotta GET OUT OF THERE or NEED a BREAK from THEM, I can always hide out in NH for a few days! 🙂
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Dazed:
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Seriously, For Everything.
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Courtney Ryan:
Hi. Nice to *meet* you. Stop lurking and leave yo’ comments! Thanks for the support!
Wow, this is big and must have been really difficult on you. I know what you mean about feeling like you failed but don’t feel that way. It’s not easy to do it all on your own. That’s a VERY high rent you are paying and add to that the cost of raising your son….ouch!
You are not a faluire. You are success story if you live with your parents or not.
Meleah, i think this will be good for you and your son. Be glad that you have parents that are welcoming you back with such warm and inviting arms! Well, I don’t really know what your parents’ arms look like, but you know what I mean 😉
Do take this time to de-stress and get better. Health and family are probably the 2 most important things in life and now you are getting one and working on the other. This will be a good thing!!! And congrats and having the guts to make such a big change. Your are quite the person. Far more mature than I could ever be. I wish you the very, very, very, very, very, very best!!!!!!
🙂
TQG!!!
hugs, hugs, and more hugs!
Ricardo:
Sorry, but this is why I haven’t been able to answer the phone or emails. I have been at moms planning and budgeting and blah blah….I will talk to you SOON.
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MichaelC:
Oh thank you a million times. I am very lucky. I am very fortunate to have this opportunity. Its just going to take time to adjust to new liviung arrangements, but I know I can count on your wit and comedic posts to keep rays of laughter shinning through my ‘cloudy’ days.
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Momma: I LOVE YOU.
Meleah;
I too moved in with relatives to get back on my feet. You will be fine- and when you are back on your feet, you will appreciate everything you have a little bit more. Take care of yourself – you have a great book to get published!
I totally understand. This is a tight spot.
Beth:
Thank you for the support and kind words. Thats right I always have my book, I have 5 hours on every Sunday to WRITE my heart out!
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Ricardo:
🙂
I have to say, Mel, that I really love the way your mind works. You are a great thinker and it sounds like you have a very healthy attitude about this. When I was reading it, I thought how cool it would be for your son to live in a multi-generational household. And then, you got to that part. So I am glad you recognize that as well.
What’s that saying, “Bloom where you’re planted”? You will do great!
After reading this, I have to sit and think hard before asking myself “what is wrong with me?”
All because I have no problems moving back to my family if I need to. It seems so natural. The good side is I’m being assured that there is always (always) a place for me. The bad part is, I don’t know how to consider other options as carefully as I should, should the moment come. You do a great job considering all aspects before reaching the conclusion, which I really admire.
And I only have the best wishes for you.
First, thanks so much for the sweet comments you’ve left on my blog! 🙂
Second, don’t be scared!…I had to do the same thing, with a 2-yr old son in tow, and I don’t know how I would have made it without the love & support of my folks…& my son really did love being with his Nana & Papa!
Of course, that 2 yr. old is now 22…and I am, well, let’s just say…I have since moved out! 😉
Take it one day at a time…you’ll be fine!
well i think this is wonderful.. it will give you time to focus on things other than money.. i have that and i tell you it makes all the difference in the world.. don’t be the least bit put off,, this is just what you need,, and it wont be forever,, when the money stuff has fallen back into place and it will.. you will be free to move on … i am happy for you honey,,, just relax and consentrate on you for a while….
money really is the root of all evil… it keeps us awake at night and can even make us ill… Let me rephrase that – “lack of money”.
I know how you feel. I have been there. But you have something I didn’t… parents who are glad to help. Go for it Meleah, and sleep well! 🙂
Stealth:
First, thank you.
Second, don’t be fooled. I didn’t come to all these glorious conclusions until after I had a nervous breakdown. But at least it only took me a week to come to terms with this! And for me thats a RECORD!
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RMH:
Thank you so much. Its weird, moving home SHOULD feel natural, but after all these YEARS free on my own and with my son, it didnt feel natural. Im getting more excited and less nervous. Im just banking on my blogger buddies to help me through the rough parts!
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OLGA!
OMG your blog is HYSTERICAL. And we both LOVE Lisa! Thank you for the supportive words, its nice to hear that OTHER PEOPLE have done this too. It makes me feel less alone.
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Paisley:
My darling girl, I am going to be emailing YOU my “play by plays” on this one! I know I will be fine, I know is the right thing to do, and I know I will not be there FOREVER, at least, I hope not. …
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Dawn: aint that the truth!!
I think you have gotten to a place where you don’t need advice from anyone; you have taken the bull by the horns through your own will, without having to get advice from everyone else on what you should do. Being able to face distasteful realities, and make hard decisions about what is best for you and your child shows a high level of courage and commitment to what you believe is right. I don’t think anyone could fault your decisions.
Bravo, lady.
also, look on the bright side… you could have to move back in with parents like… MINE.
>shudder
Hello Meleah
You have such an amazing way with words… such an ability to express your thoughts and feelings. I think you have made a brave and encouraging decision. I’m positive that this change will provide you with some pure quality time and will open up new avenues in your life. It will also give you time to relax and regain your health, which is so important.
I look forward to making frequent visits to your great blog, keeping in touch with your future happy times.
Please take care and I wish you and your son much happiness and good health
Kind regards, Graham 🙂
BobG:
Aww.. Thanks dood. It wasn’t easy, and I know as it gets closer to “moving day” I am going to get a little more freaked out, but at least I’m not crying anymore!
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Leslie:
ROTFLMAO. I know. I know. I guess I am lucky!! whew! 🙂
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Graham:
That was so nice of you to say. I hope you do come back again.
Get healthy so you can live to fight again, champ!
If it helps, 1 in 7.5 homes in this country are currently vacant, there will be a fab one for you when you are ready.
SA
P.S. Hide a minifridge in your room, in case you need an extended stay in the fortress of solitude.
It’s about knowing that whatever decision you make, it is for the benefit of you and your son. Life doesn’t go backward. We only make new decisions, and gain more experience. How great that you have such a wonderful family to work things out together. Enjoy it. Nothing is more important than your health. Start planning which shoes you’ll buy. Then go dancing in them.
Doesn’t NJ SUCK? As far as expense it does. I think, as hard as it may be, you are doing the right thing. You need to get healthy. I think the best thing to do is sit down and discuss everything…put everything on the table. What you expect and what they expect. Make up some rules and get on the same page. You need to be well….I give you a lot of credit for making such a hard decision.
I stayed with my parents a couple months this year. It was not all that bad. Of course, Mom still thinks I am twelve years old–and is full of tips–lots of tips.
But all in all it wasn’t that bad and we actually had some good times.
~Becky
Hello. I just wanted to say that I wish you all the best both with the move and your recovery. I’m dealing with a private crisis myself at the moment where I am worried about losing my home too and I wish I had the security of knowing I count count on my family if I need them. *sigh*
I’m so sorry that you are losing your home. It’s a horrible thing to have to go through. It makes you feel so helpless…
You’re gonna be OK (I don’t have to tell you–you know)….Your home was a tangible, physical representation of all your hard work, that I understand. But realize that your REAL HOME, the one you’ve built with perseverance, courage, and sacrifice is inside you. Everything you and your son need is carried internally, regardless of where you reside.
And failure?!?! I don’t think so….Seriously, i think “failure” will never be an option for Meleah Hawthorne…
SA:
Thats true. I know that when I am ready to leave mom n dads (how ever long that may take) it will be even better than I imagined.
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KellyPea:
Thank you for reminding me this is NOT a step BACK. I am lucky to have this opportunity. I will be thinking of YOU the day I buy my first pair of new shoes and dance in your honor.
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Ms Schmitty:
Oh My God. New Jersey is Out.Of.Control. to afford. I cant. The property taxes alone? WTF? This last week I have been to my parents house a few times to discuss the logistics. Rules, Space and Boundaries will be the next round of conversations.
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Becky:
Im sure I will get a lot of tips, and I am looking forward to having FUN with my mom, like pedicures, the gym, and even just sharing shoes. Its nice to hear some one else has been through this and it worked out well. Thanks for the extra hope.
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AntiBarbie:
I just discovered your blog today…and I have to say, I am a FAN. Thanks for the support. I hope YOU get through whatever personal crisis you are dealing with. I cant imagine NOT having my parents.
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SG:
How do you always know THE PERFECT thing to say to me?
“But realize that your REAL HOME, the one you’ve built with perseverance, courage, and sacrifice is inside you.”
I LOVE YOU WOMAN. For. Reels. xxxoooo
Just concentrate on your health. I can’t imagine. I am still shocked at the $1800 a month rent. I’ve never seen a rent that high or a house payment that high. Wow. Our house payment is only about $800 a month. Heck, I never made that much in one month.
Do what you can do. Some people don’t have family to fall back on to help them out. On one hand, think of the money you’d be saving. I know you worked so hard for your home. A house is only a house, but only you can make a house a home, filled with love.
Take care. God bless.
Get well.
My dear Mel,
I am so freaking glad you are taking a step forward in life. You are not nor ever were a failure. You are a strong minded woman, with a personality way beyond mine. Do what’s right for you and your son, I know you are not alone as when you move back you will bring us along the ride so get ready for another adventure which now includes the physical presence of mom and dad.
Welcome home Meleah!!!
xo
FV 🙂
You will be fine, you always are. It just really sucks having to accept it. But you will. Before you know it, you will have another place. Just remember where you were 5 years ago and why you are leaving. It will all come together.
I Love You
Always Remember That
PS
Can you believe I made a comment?
I think you are doing the right thing, this will really give you a chance to LIVE again. Take that trip, save some money, and rest. Maybe after this, you can actually buy your next place outright and not even have to deal with a monthly payment like that. The privacy part is hard, I am a person who likes my alone time (a lot) but there are so many positives here, it is a good move. Wishing you tons of health, money in your pocket and peace of mind!
Oops, keep forgetting to ID myself, the above is me
“who ever said, “Money can’t buy happiness†just doesn’t know where to shop.” First of all, thank you for that nice little belly laugh on my Saturday!! 🙂
Second, you are absolutely doing the right thing. I have always said there is no greater stressor than lack of money. Period. Health issues are of course close behind, but money equals survival as well.
You could never be a failure, Mereb. Like SomeGirl said, its simply not in your makeup. What you are doing is allowing yourself to reach a place of thriving again – on all levels. Just approach your parents as the adult you are now, and they will do the same.
Oh, I am so excited for you. This is a new beginning. A new life.
AND, I’m assuming I am on your list of visitations. Whether I live in Chicago, South Florida, or California at the time, I can promise we’ll have a blast!
I can’t wait to hear all about the new adventures of Mereb. xoxo
Wow, Meleah, you did an amazing job of working thru all this in your head!
“It’s about realizing that sometimes in life, you have to take a step backward in order to move forward.”… a fact I also had to come to terms with this year, and it’s been hard, very hard. Giving up everything you love but can’t have, to accept what you can have, and the move on to discover what is good in it. It has been my experience that when we let go of what we can no longer handle in our lives, new things will in time come to us that will be better than we ever dreamed possible. Moving into your parents home will be both difficult and a blessing, and we’ll be here encouraging you every step of the journey. It is going to be ok!
SHARI:
Thank you for the supportive words. Um? Where do you live where a house payment is $800.00? That would be HEAVEN. Id be rich! Oh well. Yes, I am lucky that I have my parents, in fact, now we are all wondering why we didn’t do this sooner.
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FV:
aww. too kind. thanks doll.
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PATTY:
Holy. Hell. YOU left a comment. !! I know thank GOD I am not where I was 5 years ago. When we met in that Oxford House. At least I get to stay in KH. I love you so much.
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BETH:
Thats very true. I have already decided I that once I move in to mom and dads I am not leaving until I can / will and do find a house that I can BUY and OWN and AFFORD.
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HOLLY:
Oh Im so glad someone noticed that line. That is one of my favorite lines ever written! HA. And hello… Of course you are on my MUST SEE blog tour. You have become such a good friend to me (outside blog land) I consider you a real friend in real life. Thank you for telling me I am not a failure. This is a new beginning of a new life. Funny how its happening right when my birthday is around the bend. Literally a new year. xxxooo
You said it, “Get Healthy”. That’s the important thing. May I offer a suggested first step? Dispense with the feelings of failure. Find a more objective way to measure your success. Perhaps foregoing measuring yourself by standards that largely have very little to do with the inherent dignity of our humanity to begin with. Above anything and everything, every child needs a loving mother, everything I’m reading sounds like you are exactly that. I praise that as it’s no small matter. You can reflect on that reality any time despair darkens your doorstep.
yours, always, jon
WOWSERS…..
I WILL LOVE YOU NO LESS SWEETCHEEKS.
BRAVO
OLLY
XOXOXO
Sorry to hear about your situation Meleah. As hard it is to move back to your parents, at least they are there and that that’s an option for you. God forbid that you or anyone be homeless.
Thank you so much for this post, Meleah. You are a very wise person. I particularly love the comment – ” sometimes you have to step backward in order to move forward” – it is so true. We had to sell our house a few years back to keep my husband’s business afloat. Now we have to pay very expensive Sydney rent $2600(AUD) a month which is probably very similar to what you pay if you take into account the exchange rate. Our mortgage was half of that and the increase has caused us a lot of stress. Despite all your misgivings, just imagine the sense of relief that will come over you when that rent payment isn’t hanging over your head every month. Living with your parents will be great for your son and great for you. You will be able to look after your health, save some money and finish your book. GOOD ON YA, MATE! You have inspired me to do something about my situation. I have been bouncing around on the bottom for too long. Take care!
Cleaning People! You said cleaning people?! Can I come?
😉
Meleah, your expression and thought process in this writing takes that high road! I am sure the one not seen, has more of the personal expression we keep locked away, yet you appear to have turned it around and see all the positives that can be obtained….BRAVO!
I truly admire your ability to take something, tear it apart, and place it back so that it may fit more pleasing and soothing…
Such as you will in the current situation. The path is never ending and this is just a stop along the way…
Hmmm…5 hours on Sunday…maybe some writing?
Peace
What a great post to “come back” to…(for me that is)
Oh Meleah,
My heart ached for you with every word read here…
It hurts, yes, but this is the best move.
While sacrificing a little independence you will be gaining more, in a tangible way that you can use to feel good again…
Your health, your peace of mind; these are of vital importance right now.
While you most certainly will go back to being a child in your parents’ house, they have the wherewithall to nurture you back to health, both physically and mentally. And this will give you comfort, time to breathe and the freedom from stress that you so desperately need.
I am so happy that you view this part of your journey with optimism and joy. It is a respite for you and will do you the world of good.
Wishing you love,
I do hope you’ll visit me DownUnder one day, dear friend…
xox
This was a very touching, very powerful story. All the best to you and your family!
Sincerely,
The Uncanny Broadcasting Brain
Dood,
Dont be ashamed for doing what you have to do. Do it as long as you have to until you are healthy and more capable of taking care of living arrangements for yourself and your son. I sometimes wish I could go home too but my mortgage payment is only 820 per month! LOL. Actually it was 790 but my taxes just went up so my payment did as well! What I want to tell you is dont buy anything more than you need though. It is going to be so tempting to “live it up” when all of the sudden you can “afford” to do so, but in reality you cannot “afford” to do so because you need to be saving as much as you possibly can to get out of there as quickly as you can. If you can save 20 percent of a down payment for a new home over the next year or two then my advice to you is to do it because I can guarantee you that while you may enjoy being at home for a while, eventually you will want out, and when that time comes you will need that money to do so. Only buy one or two things you have been wanting to get as a luxury item everything else should only be out of necessity. A new home is a necessity!
You are awesome dood and I really wish you the best in whatever you do.
Hug dad for me and tell him I am still feelin his pain dood!
LOL
🙂
Harry
I am glad you reached out to your parents when you needed them and that they responded so positively. When my ex and I split up, Paula and I moved with my mom and stepdad for a while. Sure there will be little annoyances or frictions. But the good outweighed the bad by far. I loved the support and Paula develop a very close relationship with them.
This was an awesome post and you have a great take on the whole situation. I wish you the best.
Jon:
Thanks for the great advice.
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Olly:
Love you back. Yeah, this is BIG news.
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Rolando:
Agreed
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Selma:
Its so reassuring to hear I am not alone, nor a failure. Thank you!!
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Jodi:
Welcome back do..! I have missed you! Yes, that 5 hour window will be a welcomed time to WRITE WRITE WRITE.
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Minx:
YES! Thank you, this has been very painful, to face …and accept. I love you. But you have to know that you are on my travel ‘blog tour’… I AM DYING to spend a week in the life of my Minx. xxoo 🙂
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Marc:
Thank you.
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Harry:
As one of my longtime readers…you know MY dads pain better than anyone. Thank you for helping me take pride and confidence in this decision in stead of guilt and pain. I love
you never ending support. Even if I am still a smoker. I might be up to 5 packs a day once I ‘move in’ but you can help me quit when I ‘am ready to move back out’. Just think of all the future posts featuring my father!
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Ingrid:
Okay! That gives me some extra hope that I am doing the RIGHT thing. xxoo
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Josie2Shoes:
Thanks for the support.Through reading your blog I know that you really ‘get’ what I am ‘giving’ up and doing. I know that you have given up so much and made huge changes this year too…all of which have bennefitted your life for the better. Right?
Sorry I haven’t visited in a while and I know what you mean about “feeling like a failure” when the home you created is symbolic of your success.
You’re definitely not a failure! Life has been battering you and you need to recover. You need to heal. Isn’t failure about not trying, just giving up? Doesn’t sound like you’re giving up on you, it sounds like you had to give up on your condo.
I just read your mom’s birthday card and awwww. There may be a “break in period” as you get adjusted to living at home again but it sounds like you all have the willingness and love to make it work.
It’s great you have a family to fall back on.
MsQ:
Thanks. I am doing my best to stay positive, its just a tough pill to swallow.
It sounds like this will be a GOOD thing and you deserve that. Good for you….take care, girl.