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Holiday Shopping & Good Hygiene

I think I may have been a man in my former life because I truly loathe any kind of shopping. And that would also explain my ‘chin hair situation’. Thankfully, I recently discovered my rearview mirror has the best ‘lighting’ for plucking said chin hairs.

But, I digress.

As for Holiday shopping, I simply cannot deal. Alas, Tis The Season. Therefore, I have no choice but to go shopping. So why do I hate Holiday Shopping? Well, I am more than happy to share that with you fine people.

First off, just looking for a parking space at the mall is practically tragic. However, I have been known to circle the lot for hours until I find a spot remotely close to the entrance. I am dedicated like that.

Secondly, when I finally do enter the building? Those annoying perfume sample people immediately assault me. I am blasted with clouds of musk rendering me mildly drugged. At that point, temporarily blinded and confused, I become a prime candidate for a pocket picking.

Lastly, I can’t handle standing in those never ending lines. It is nothing short of a nightmare. Aside from the fact that my legs go numb after an hour, there is the issue of Good Hygiene and/or the lack thereof.

I am not sure if I just have really bad luck, or if this has happened to anyone else. But, for some reason it seems as if no one wears deodorant this time of year. The last three times I’ve stood in line; I had to breathe into my own shirt just so I wouldn’t have to smell those around me. I have never been exposed to such horrible body odor.

Where the heck are the perfume sample people when you NEED or WANT them?

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  • I know exactly what you mean about the chin hairs. Where do they come from and why do they keep coming back? I have never done so much plucking in my life. LOL.
    I also hate Christmas shopping. I have noticed the body odour thing too. It really is bad news. Do people not shower before they go to the mall? Sometimes the stench is overpowering. Let’s hope we can both get our shopping done as quickly as possible.

  • Now that is one reason why I get my holiday shopping done somewhere in July … LOL!

  • Meleah

    I have no idea what’s going on with all of that!
    “Do people not shower before they go to the mall?”

    I really DON’T think so! Ithink I might go ONLINE shopping. Its better than standing IN LINE right?

    July? No way!

  • Online shopping, baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I don’t like to go shopping. It’s too much hassle. This year we are doing less presents (they have entirely too much crap) and I have already ordered most of them through Amazon.com.

  • i am so with ingrid on this one… never leave the comfort of your own room… i haven’t shopped in a mall in eons,, and after your rendition of it here today,, i can assure you i will not be entering that marketplace any time soon!!!!!!!

  • I just let my chin hair row. LOL

    I HATE holiday shopping. I wish everyone would just ne nice to each other and forget gifts. We all go broke for obligation.

    I go out 1 night and get all my gifts. Get it over fast. Then find a bar.

  • The older I get the worse I find the shopping..

    As for the BO, I think ppl should be asked to leave shops and buses when they stink so bad!

  • AMEN girlfriend. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I hate holiday shopping…hate hate hate it.

  • Meleah

    Hell Yeah baby.
    Its all ONLINE for me to. No more INLINE!

    yeah…you ARE not missing a thing!

    ha ha ha

    I think people need to double UP on their application! And a little baby powder can go a long way!

    The Girl I Will Bring Home:
    I DESPISE shopping!

  • Please refer to those chin hairs by their proper name “Stray Eyebrows” Thank you.

  • Ha ha ha! I wish I could take one of those crazy perfume people with me on BART too!

    I hate shopping too. That’s why I do it all online. I can sit in my jammies, drink my wine, and shop till I drop!!

  • The cold, the parking, the lines, the decisions, the perfume smells, the lack of perfumed bodies, the hustle and bustle…give me a computer and a credit card any day of the week!

  • Meleah

    Courtney Ryan:
    ha ha ha ha
    Stray Eyebrows is KILLING ME

    PS: Am I still winning? Cuz its COLD over here & Id love that scarf!

    Random Chick:
    I cant with the perfume people! And I smell GOOD.
    Ah yes, shopping in Jammies.
    Well…I would love to live the rest of my life in pajamas!

    Yup. That’s why I have decided to beak down & shop OnLine.
    I can’t with this.

  • Truly, we must have been separated at birth to BOTH do posts on chin hair and holiday shopping! HILARIOUS!

    Shop on-line. It’s God’s gift to people like us.

  • I used to like shopping back in my younger years, I used to spend hours going through different stores. But now I just had it! So little time to do this now, I just want to run in & out. But with my luck I always get stuck behind the person who is disputing something w/the cashier, people who smell, someone who has 10 kids all yelling & screaming, a rude cashier or a cashier who wants to sit there & tell me all about their life when I really don’t have the time. I hate it! Totally hate it! And don’t get me wrong I try to be a very nice person but shopping brings out the worst in me. If I go I like to go early so there aren’t many people there. So I’m with you on the shopping thing.

  • Next time I see you at the mall, I’ll try breathing in your shirt as well.

    Make sure you give security a heads-up, though. Last time they threw me in the mall jail.

  • Meleah

    Momo Fali:
    I was flipping out that WE are BOTH talking about shopping & chin hair…what are the ODDS two people would combine THOSE topics?

    Oh my god..that is exactly what its like. I am so OVER shopping!

    I am CRYING laughing at your comment. you KILL me.
    THANK YOU for that!

  • Ha, yes I can imagine you driving around looking for a spot and covering your nose when you’re near to those people who bath in perfume.

    Online shopping honey, that’s what I’m going to do. In fact, I may just stick with costco.com


  • You know what, the price of deodorant has just gone up!

  • It’s the HUMAN RACE!. I do like Holiday shopping. Maybe I could be a personal shopper?! 🙂

    Why miss out on the crowds with the ever increasing stressed out faces as the deadline to get that one ‘last gift’ looms closer? It is an open window at human passions seldom seen on other occasions… and you’re right, quite an opportunity to savor a wide array of bodily fragrances sure to please even the most jaded skunk nose out there.

    I got my shopping almost all done, minor things left to seek and am looking forward at braving the mad rush at the malls; if only to see how things are going to turn out this year due to the economic situation we’re in. Lots of blog materials – that’s a given!

  • dcr

    Online shopping is the key. No lines. No hassle. Bummer that now we’re getting hit with sales tax and shipping. Used to be that the shipping costs used to be about what you’d otherwise pay in sales tax, so it was a good balance. You ended up paying about the same as at the store, but with the convenience of not going to the store. Plus, that saves on multiple trips to the store, so that’s good for the environment, right? So, boo on politicians and their online sales taxes.

  • cmk

    Well, thank goodness you young’uns have to worry about the stray eyebrows, too. I thought my problem had to do with that pesky surgical side-effect: menopause! Glad to know I’m not the only one.

    I really don’t know if I want the perfume sprayers to find the stinky people–good perfume sprayed on bad BO=nausea for me!

    I could go on for DAYS about why I hate Christmas shopping–but it all boils down to my hatred of the season! When The Family was cut out of my life, the shopping list became almost empty, but I still have to buy some gifts. I now buy only one thing for the grandkids: books. After I get each of them a few books, then I put money in a card and they are done! I buy some things for our girls and their husbands–basically, all online–and then we write them checks. Our biggest problems have always been friends of ours and our next door neighbors. We are ALL in the same boat: there is NOTHING any of us needs, so we give gifts just because we are friends. It has saved my sanity to cut my list down like I have–and the interweb has been an absolute godsend for the shopping I HAVE to do!

  • I absolutely despise shopping as well. I’ve been known to wear shoes well past the point of them having holes just because I can’t stand the thought to dragging myself to the store to buy new ones.

    Parking spaces? Just take the first one you see.

    Body odor? Sorry, can’t help you on that one. One advantage of being a guy, however, is that we have weaker senses of smell.

  • It’s called Amazon. Trust me, it makes life A LOT easier.

  • Don’t like shopping? Does that apply to visits to Apple stores?

  • Meleah

    ha ha ha ha

    I would like to hire you to do all of my shopping!

    I miss Free Shipping

    I am over buying things for everyone in my life.
    But, the kids..mine and my brothers children wlll get mad gifts, that I will buy online!

    Ive worn shoes to that point too!

    Okay! Sold!

    No way. Thats not SHOPPING, that’s just good LIVING!

  • Oh don’t I know what you are talking about. It is as though folks forget to swipe their underarm with the RightGuard before leaving the house and once they do leave some chicks forget a ‘sanny’ needs to be changed regularly to avoid the rotting stench of bodily excrement.

  • I despise the mall. We have the Mall of America here and for the life of me I can’t figure out what it is people enjoy about that place. Online shopping is the best!

  • I haven’t done any real shopping in a store in years (other than groceries). I shop online for everything. I even ordered my new toilet paper dispenser from home Depot online, they have free shipping so why not save myself the trouble (takes me 2 hrs. to find anything there!) and the gas! If you are smart, you can find plenty of great deals online, better than in the stores anyway. Coupon codes, ebates, free shipping, plus still no tax at many sites, better variety and selection on the web vs. and crowds, parking problems lines and smelly people. So many good reasons to shop online and not so many to venture out to malls.

  • ‘I think I may have been a man in my former life because I truly loathe any kind of shopping.” That’s what my husband keeps telling me, Meleah. HE loves shopping. I’d much rather stay home and read or fiddle with my laptop.

  • B.O. by C.K.™
    My little sister used to work at a perfume store in the outlet shops. I always wondered how it was that she didn’t have constant headaches or lose her sense of smell.

  • Meleah

    Debo Hobo:
    I CANT with BAD Hygiene.

    Thats what everyone keeps telling me!

    “I even ordered my new toilet paper dispenser from home Depot online, they have free shipping”


    Ah yes. We must have been MEN!

    The Mac Mommy:
    “B.O. by C.K.™”

  • I don’t care for shopping either. I know what I want before I get there and try to stay no more than twenty minutes. This time of year I find myself staying away from stores. I know they try to tell you that things are on sale but I would prefer to spend more than deal with the crowds and mess that comes with it.

  • Now, if I could have everyone seeing what pain mall shopping is and then have them host a party so I could sell my jewelry then everyone would be happy! Online shopping is so much less stressful, isn’t it?

  • Meleah

    Agreed. Its not worth the stress & aggravation.

    Oh yeah. I love online shopping from NOW ON!

  • i’s only likes to shop when i’s haves cash and i think i used to be a man too, but for other reason.

    just cut my chin hair yesterday

  • I normally like shopping especially if I’m spending someone else’s money, lol. You need to go shopping with me, I’m the king of parking! I’m normally very lucky at finding parking (cause I’m a parking staker).

    But Holiday shopping is different. I’d rather shop online and have everything delivered, haha.

  • Meleah

    Cash? What’s that?
    I am the biggest parking stalker.
    I hold out for the best space.

    Whoo Hooo Chin Hair Free today!

    You LIKE shopping? WOW. Maybe you were a WOMAN in your last life!
    Im all about DELIVERY!

  • Drive-in-your-car type of shopping is torture. I’m with you on the malls and lines and parking thing. Blech. A friend gave me a 100 gift card to Macys for my birthday. Haven’t used it. The thought of shopping there is torture. I’ve looked online for stuff but overall, I’m not a Macy’s kinda gal. He realized this later. But he was hoping that I’d buy a nice dress (he wants me to FIND A MAN). He said he probably should have given me a grocery store card!

    Last time I was in a mall was Target with mom. No stinky folks as far as I could tell.

    Chin hairs? Eek! My grandma ended up getting them so I guess they may be in my future.

    I shop online whenever possible and I only get gifts if something comes to mind for someone. If nothing comes to mind, no gift. My friends are not so into stuff and for most, a bottle of wine is perfect.

  • I hate shopping for anything other than Cds or DVDs. Everything else sucks. And the worst is going shopping with my sister and/or girl cousins. I can tell you horror stories of going along with them and spending years of my life while they ransack the clothing stores.

  • Eva

    BYOB and BYOP

    Bring Your Own Book (to read in line) and Bring Your Own Perfume (to spray on the backs of the smelly peoples).

    You’re welcome. Happy Shopping! 🙂

  • Meleah

    Ms Q:
    “He said he probably should have given me a grocery store card!’
    HA HA HA

    Target is The Safest place to shop FREE from BO!


    I’d rather browse iTunes than shop for music in a store. Teenagers SCARE me!
    I can only imagine you shopping w/ your girl family members.
    ha ha ha ha

    *awesome idea*
    HA! I love it!

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