What…a crazy year I had.
Let’s recap.
Shall we?
January started off with a mean case of writers block that ultimately ended with the purchase of a pair of Pajama Jeans. Followed by ‘The Snowpocalyse’ wherein we received over 20 inches of snow and included a video of my crazy ‘No-Garbage-Neighbor’ shoveling out his car with a dustpan.
When February rolled around, sadly, I was forced to deal with the passing of my beloved Gramma Evelyn. And my son diligently prepared for his Gym Class Mid-Term Exam.
In March we decided to undergo a few home renovations. And one of those renovations resulted in my father sawing a sofa in half. Good times. My son directed his very first movie for history class. And I discovered two very strange products.
During the month of April, I finally wrote about my Totally-Super-Awesome Aunt Bea Who Could Easily Pass for Jane Fonda – for the very first time on my blog. And, I complained about receiving unsolicited advice and too many medical brochures from good ole’ Poppa Sye.
And then, the month of May completely kicked my ass. We celebrated My Mother’s Birthday, Poppa Sye’s Birthday, My Son’s Birthday, and Mother’s day. We also discovered The Honey Badger and all its’ glory. I hosted the Which Dog Is Cuter competition. And, I unloaded some raw emotional honesty.
Unfortunately, in June I got into an accident and my car was totaled. But, as awful as that was, at least I got to drive around this SCOOTER for a few weeks.
* But it was the month of July changed my life, forever. First, I had a wonderful visit from one of my closest blogger friends Nicky. And then, I almost died from eating a salad. Like for real. Who knew lettuce could be deadly?
In August, I survived Hurricane Irene with Poppa Sye. And I learned a new favorite word. The Molestache.
By the time September came around, I was ready for this year to be over. However, a few note worthy occasions happened. I got seriously lost while trying to find a house in the woods. I was forced to face my fear of bridges when meeting up with fellow blogger and author Margaret Andrews and I almost married her. And then my 15 year old son, Justin, wrote his very first Guest Post.
In October, we celebrated My 37th Birthday. My father got into an argument with a neighbor over a parking space, AND, he channeled his ‘Inner Larry David’ while yelling at a cashier in the grocery store. Oh, and I drove my car, in public, on the highway, while looking like this.
Thankfully, November was much more laid back than any other month. My family celebrated Thanksgiving by dancing our asses off. And speaking of asses, I live through yet another colonoscopy.
And that brings us to December. Quite frankly, this month sucked. I’ve spent most of my time in the hospital with Poppa Sye hoping and praying for a miracle, until he passed away peacefully at home, surrounded by loved ones.
And yet, somehow?
We still managed to celebrate My Father’s Birthday. Christmas. And Hanukkah with style.
But, as far as I’m concerned….
2011 can suck it sideways, filthy whore, shitbag year!
That being said.
I am truly ready for a New Year and New beginnings.
So, Happy F*cking New Year MoFo’s!
* I will be back to blogging after the New Year.
PS:
I am not very good at making or keeping Resolutions. Seriously, I am not joining a gym, nor will I try to quit smoking any time soon. But, I do need to make some changes. And that’s why I like to hear what YOUR resolutions are, because quite frankly? I am fresh out of ideas.
So tell me boys & girls, what are you going to be doing differently in 2012?
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