My son is turning 12.
What?
When and how did this happen?
JCH will be 12 years old this Saturday at exactly 11:18 am on May 10th, 2008.
By the time you finish reading this post, JCH will probably be a whole lot closer to nineteen. (Or retirement, depending on how quickly you read.)
My son has long since been my baby. He has been an official pre-teen with a complete set of raging hormones since the day he turned 10.
As I sit here today, reflecting upon the last 12 years of my life as a mother and how much we both have grown, I am flooded with memories and emotions.
As cliché as this might sound, it really seems ‘Just Like Yesterday’ when my boy arrived unto this world. Weighing in at a healthy 9 pounds 14 oz, and 21 inches long. I remember the very first time I held him in my arms and sang happy birthday to him. I was scared to death. I had no child rearing experiences. I didn’t read any of the books you are supposed to read while pregnant; I had never even babysat for another child. When I looked at this brand new person (the one who had been kicking me all those months) everything was suddenly so wonderful, yet incredibly terrifying.
I don’t know what it is that happens to you, or how it happens to you, I cannot explain it. But from the moment I became a parent, I instinctively knew what to do. I automatically had those magical mommy powers where a simple kiss could make any and every thing better.
Now that he is older, I don’t have quite the same magical powers as I used to. He doesn’t believe in the Tooth Fairy, or Santa Clause anymore. He doesn’t want me to kiss him anymore. There is positively no way I am allowed to hold his hand in public. And, I think we are done with hugs and onto straight up ‘high fives’.
I know it is my job as a parent to prepare my son for the world ahead of him. To teach him responsibility, accountability and independence, so I can let him go, Out Into The World, and become a successful, capable, functioning adult. But sometimes I miss the days when my son was still just my baby boy.
Some of my fondest memories about JCH?
1. The very first time he had a sip of Orange Juice (with pulp). He let the sweet nectar linger in his mouth while swishing the unfamiliar texture on his tongue. And then he spit it out. He leered at my mother and said, “Who Put Feathers In My Orange Juice?”
2. My son had his own pronunciation of words. Instead of saying “Again” he used to say “ooooo-gaaaaaine.” I still smile when I think about that.
3. When JCH was all of three years old, he encountered one of the most evil imaginary friends of all time. His name was “Jackrafire”. ‘Jackrafire’ came from a blue ‘plan-ick’ (not planet, plan-ick) and gave my son the worst nightmares. As much as I loved him climbing into bed with me now and again, every night for two months in a row was more than I could handle. (Surprisingly a three year old can really hog a bed.) After I had enough sleepless nights I decided that this ‘Jackrafire’ character must be destroyed.
I asked JCH to help me make a ‘Magic Potion’ that would send ‘Jackrafire’ back to his blue plan-ick. We spent 45 minutes in the kitchen adding any and everything to the industrial sized blender and then hit puree. We poured the ‘potion’ (which consisted mostly of Worcestershire sauce, eggs, and Tabasco) into the same milk glass used for Santa and his cookies. We left the glass out on the counter just like we would for Santa. I told JCH to go to bed and when ‘Jackrafire’ came to our house that night he would be lured to the ‘Magic Potion’ by the aroma. I promised him ‘Jackrafire’ would drink it, and certainly die from drinking it.
Having heard one too many ‘Jackrafire’ stories, I knew exactly what this imaginary freak looked like. I stayed up half the night making a costume that resembled the likes of ‘Jackrafire’, only to cut it up in tiny pieces so it would look like he melted to death, much like the way the Wicked Witch of the West came to her demise. In the morning my son awoke to a murdered ‘Jackrafire’. “Mommy, it worked WE got rid of him! Look…he’s all melted!”
We never heard from him again.
[Last story – I promise]
4. When JCH was about 4 years old he went on a walk in the woods with my father. My parents live on a golf course so there are wonderful trails, perfect for a nature walk. The two of them used to take adventures in the woods and hunted for golf balls. One part of the trail had a slope that led to a pond. That was a known ‘hot spot’ for stray golf balls that had been hit out of bounds. My father told JCH to stay at the top of the hill and wait for him to return. But JCH hated being left alone. So, he followed his grandpa. Only as JCH was walking down the hill, he was going too fast. So fast that he couldn’t stop. He ran right down the hill and into the pond. He landed smack in the mud. But this wasn’t regular mud. Oh no. JCH thought that he was trapped in quicksand. Quicksand which would swallow him whole. By the time my father made it over to him to engage the rescue mission, it was too late, JCH was already hysterical.
I will never forget exactly what he looked like when my son reappeared from the woods. That image is tattooed to my brain. He was sobbing, covered in mud, with one sock half off and slapping the grass, while the other foot was bare. He ran towards me, arms stretched out towards me, screaming about how he almost just died. “Mommy, (sniff sniff) please hold me, (sniff sniff ) I’m soooo cold, (sniff) and I almost…DIED (sniff sniff sniff) in quicksand. Look, look at my foot…the quicksand ate my shoe and my sock…”
——-
My son doesn’t ‘need me’ like he used to. And that’s okay. That is simply the natural progression of my child evolving into a teenager.
In truth, I will never have another child. I can never go back to: the car seats, the strollers, the 84 hours it takes to pack one diaper bag, the tantrums and time outs, the amount of baby wipes and formula, the pacifier (or loosing the g-ddamned pacifier) the potty training, teething, colic. (Teething and Colic at the same time.) The really high, and really scary fevers, the eye surgery, the broken bones, and the stitches. I don’t want to relive all that yelling, crying, and screaming…. (Oh wait that part was me.) I would not do it all over again, not even for million dollars and not even with a live in nanny. However, I would not trade any of those memories for all the money in the world either.
So yeah, you caught me. I love my son.
I hate to start letting him go, but I can’t wait to see what will happen next!
(I wrote the following letter to my son, to which I am sure he will react with the now famous *eye roll*. So, I will share it with you. Maybe you guys will appreciate it.)
Dear JCH,
Happy Twelfth Birthday!!
I wanted to let you know just how grateful I am to have you in my life since the day you entered this world. While I am glad the days of the missing wooden blocks and ‘Blues Clues’ are over, I miss the days of being your superhero and your adorable tiny fingerprints left on my windows.
Your love never ceases to overwhelm me. Your incredible sense of humor can fix any bad day and I find the utmost joy in the sound of your laughter.
I never deserved you, but I thank G-d for you every day. I am not only a lucky mommy, but I am a better person for knowing you. I know your life has not always been easy, but through your strong spirit, you have managed to overcome huge obstacles and achieved greatness. To say I am proud of you; would be an understatement. I am honored to call you my son.
Now that you are at the beginning stages of becoming a man (*body hair and all*) I wonder if you know who you are? I wonder if you are excited for what lies ahead? I wonder what you will be when you grow up? And I wonder if we will survive the teenage years together?
I sincerely hope all your dreams will become realities. I hope I am here to see them all come true. Don’t be afraid to dream big, remember to laugh often, and love with passion.
But, if you ever get stuck in the mud, or come face to face with a real live ‘Jackrafire’, you can always come back to me “oooogaaaaine”.
I love you forever,
I like you for always,
As long as I’m living
My BABY you’ll be.
I love you
Mommy.
don’t they grow up so fast. it’s true. one minute you are changing their diaper, the next minute you are handing them the keys to your car. i saw the same thing: when did this happen. my kid has some long legs at 8 and i look at her and think: wow, how much taller are you going to get and WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN! enjoy him and give him lots of hugs before he gets too cool.
😉
aw… this was so cool.. i loved all the little vignettes of the boy.. and i know you are a great mom,, you attack everything you do with such passion,, ,how could motherhood be any different!!!!!
Valerie:
I know. He is almost as tall as me, his feet are twice the size of me, and he is sporting a VISIBLE mustache. My baby is like a man.
Paisley:
Thank you. I am a pretty good mommy. He is just about the only correct decision I made in my life. xxoo 🙂
You are a fabulous Mum. My boy is turning 12 on June 11 and I am already teary about it so your post really hit home. I feel everything you feel and also wouldn’t change it for the world. You won’t believe it but JCH and I share a birthday. Mine is also on May 10. Now I just know he’s got to be a cool kid. 😉 I know he’ll have a wonderful day!
I can’t believe he is going to be 12. I remember the day you brought him home from the hospital… Dam I’m gettin old.
Very nice. My son is going to be 12 in 4 months and you remind me of some of the things he used to do.
Happy birthday to JCH!
Watching them grow is so bittersweet, isn’t it? This was a beautiful tribute to your son and I wish him the happiest birthday EVER!
Selma:
Well Happy Birthday to YOU as well! I dont know what it is about turning 12 that has me all sorts of emotional? I guess our boys are in the last year BEFORE becoming official Teen Agers! YIKES.
xxoo
Danny:
We are definitely getting OLD. 12! 12? 12! Im dying over here. (And yes you were there the day I brought him home from the hospital.) He’s growing up way too fast for me.
Hammer:
Aw. Im glad I reminded you of times when you boy was younger.
Terri:
Its sure is! and Thank you very much! xxoo 🙂
oh yeah no more kids either. my daughter begs, but i’m like girl you slipped through, if you wanted a brother or sister you should have split in half in the womb. her dad is a twin, so she could have. lol. it’s a lot of work…i just let mine walk to school by herself for the first time and i didn’t even throw up with fear. okay so we can look out our back window and see the school, but she took the long route.
a mustache…oh no, shave it! lol oh wait, no let him keep it…if men you date get out of hand, they can see who they have to deal with, your big son. don’t you hate it when your kids are taller than you or have the potential. i’m going to have to wear some higher heels..i can’t let this happen. lol
they grow up fast,do you have a lot of pics of her. in the beginning i took a lot of pics….now, not so many. okay you asked only for a comment and not a diary, i better end it here. 🙂 later jersey girl.
Valerie:
There is No Way! and No How! I will ever have another baby. YIKES. One child is more than enough for me!
I am a little freaked out by the ever so present *body hair* which is suddenly sprouting everywhere on my boy!
I love that he is getting TALL. I hope *fingers crossed* he towers over his father one day.
As far as photos I have 5 billion and counting. I take at least 25 photos of him a week. I think he is annoyed already.
(BTW: you can leave as many comments and as long as youd like !!)
oh gosh JCH where do I start. Ive known you and loved you since you were a very small handsome little baby boy. lookin for ” baba gees” learning about the difference between hot candles and regular candles. You have become so much more than the coolest teenage boy. You are going to be a wonderful man in this world, with your humor, smile, laugh and positive light about you. I love You JCH, I am so glad I got to meet you and know you and love you in this lifetime. Im so proud of how awesome you are today. Happy Birthday almost man!! I love you so much & miss you.
Love Jen & Chloe
(i’ll always love to look back and remember Chloe had something like a brother growing up, that something was you. You touched our lives in so many ways you’ll have no idea til your older.)
God Bless you JCH
Yeah its crazy I remember baby sitting him when you went to work or while you where sleeping, Or singing him sweet Limp Bizkit LuLA Byes(lol)
If I’m gettin old guess what babe you are Too !!!!!:-) May 10 is the day! I always remembered that , Tell MC. JCH I said Happy Birthday
Oh Justin!
I cannot believe you are TWELVE!!!
Thank you for making me a Grandee and helping me discover my YEBEN! name: Gramela Pamela. I really think the reason I was born was so I could be your Gramma. You have given me more joy and purpose than anything else in my life. No one else will ever take your special place in my heart.
I love that you live with us and that we get to share a part of every day with you. It’s definitely been a gift to watch you grow into the young man you are becoming.
Have an absolutely fabulous birthday and never forget who loves you!!!!
love, hugs and lots of kisses, all the time with all my heart.
Gramma
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Jennifer:
Thank you for that beautiful comment. JCH is like Chloe’s older brother in many ways. “Smo’Babba-Gee” I cant stand it! xxoo Im sure he will love reading your kind words.
Danny:
Oh I know I am getting older. I feel like a 90 year old man sometimes.
HA HA HA HA HA
I forgot all about the “Limp Bizkit” lullaby’s…Too Funny.
(see I still need you to ‘fill in the blanks)
I will make sure that JCH reads your comment.
*In fact he cant WAIT to see how many ‘comments’ he gets. *
Mommy:
You really ARE the YEBEN LADY and The Best Gramma OnThePlanet. I guess that’s why JCH always brags about how COOL his Gramma is! xxoo
Only with a priceless love that one can write such a priceless post.
You’re wonderful Meleah.
*Hug* from your friend me.
What a mom you are. That was so darn beautiful. WOW…
What great stories. I love the quicksand one.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JCH…
You have so much life ahead of you. Appreciate all the moments. And for goodness sakes thank your mother and love her as much as possible.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN. 🙂
Ok….. I am officially sitting here in tears…..I could actually HEAR you saying those words. Weird I know but I could hear you big sis.
Mase turns 8 next Friday (How did we get so lucky to have Taurus sons???) and I have been going through the same thing. Of course he still loves to hold hands, cuddle every day twice like clockwork etc etc. But I looked at him last night sleeping and wondered What did I do right to deserve this beautiful boy? Knowing you, I know you watch Justin sleep too.
JUSTIN…..
You don’t know me from Adam but I wanted to say Happy Birthday to you. You are so unbelievably lucky to have such a fantastic, creative, loving, AWESOME mother who is able to express her devotion and love to you! Don’t grow up too fast but have fun every moment that you can and remember every breath that you can 🙂
Love,
Sarah
Best wishes and happy birthday.
May 10 is my younger brother’s birthday, too.
RMH:
awwww…..
Stop making me *tear up* already!
Ive been a little weepy since I started writing this.
Thank you my friend.
xxoo
Mimzie:
He really ‘honest to blog’ thought he was going to DIE in QuickSand. hahahaha
Urban:
Thank you. I will continue to appreciate ANY and ALL moments my son allows me to share with him…although there aren’t too many these days. Ps: Yes I do have The Best Mom, which is why I am probably the mother I turned out to be!
Leslie:
THANK YOU xxoo 🙂
Bob G:
Thanks! Heres to the Taurus people in our lives!
SARA SUNSHINE!!!!
I have GIANT tears rolling down my face from your comment!
“You are so unbelievably lucky to have such a fantastic, creative, loving, AWESOME mother ….”
Oh my baby cascadian sister how are you? I miss the hell out of you.
Can you even believe how FAST our babies are growing up? And that we both have Taurus boys? How cool is that! Hold on to those tiny hands for as long as you can. It wont be long before he pulls away. 🙁
(oh..and…Yes I still occasionally watch my ‘baby’ sleep)
xxoo xxoo
xxoo xoo
Please tell me I’m not the only one who was reduced to (happy) tears after reading that? Happy birthday to your son,
Happy Birthday Justin, have a great day and don’t grow up too fast. Enjoy being a kid while you can.
JDP
Dammit.. you tell THE BEST stories. How AWESOME. JCH is very lucky… and by the looks of what you wrote… so are you.:)
Also, thanks for being straight forward about the kid thing. A lot of women would have you believe it’s all cookies and cream. Now I don’t have any first hand experience, but I know how much I drove my mom insane (I was an accident. LOL… she had me at 35… when she thought she could no longer get preggers!).
Anyways… what a GREAT post!!
Silver:
Aww… Thank you. I cried and cried when I wrote it! Thank you for your awesome comment.
Dudley:
JCH will be thrilled! Thank you
Jillian:
“Dammit.. you tell THE BEST stories.”
Aw! That must be “The Writer” in me talking!
I am the FIRST to admit having a baby is the best and WORST. I will never be one to act like it was all sorts of roses. And I can only IMAGINE what the hell The Teen Years have in store…Guess we will just have to wait and see!
*sigh* HAPPY BIRTHDAY JCH!!
Mel, our babies are growing up and I just cried in my coffee…
You’re a good momma.
OK, so I laughed at your wonderful stories. I love and admire your creativity with killing off the demon Jackrafire. And I cried at your letter to him. I think he’s rolling his eyes to make the tears less noticable. 🙂 Lovely post.
Happy Birthday Justin!! What a fine post here Meleah … a proud mom and a wonderful boy (young man now).
Hope this day is the BEST 🙂
Happy Birthday! Almost a teenager!! My oldest hits double digits in a few weeks! AHHHHHH!
SomeGirl
*handing you a kleenex*
I think we need to drink/toast to our kids together!
OMyLisa:
(Yes. I stole that nickname for you from Olga…I loved it).
Thank you for reading the stories. Jackrafire had to go!!
“I think he’s rolling his eyes to make the tears less noticable”
Aww… I hope so!
Thank you sweety.
xxoo
Speedy:
Thank you my man! JCH will love your comment! xxoo
Mrs Schmitty:
Where does all the time go?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JCH! And YAY for you mom!!! 🙂
xoxoxoxoxo
Happy Birthday JCH! I think its pretty obvious that your mom loves you a ton. You are one lucky kid. I understand the not holding hands or kissing your mom anymore – but dude! You gotta hug her sometimes! If my son didn’t hug me I’d shrivel up and die, you don’t want that to happen (my son is 17 and still hugs when I say “I need a hug”). So start now by immediately giving her a hug, you know you want to. Its “cool” to hug ok?
Meleah,
Your relationship with your son reminds me SO much of mine with my son. There’s a special bond betweens mothers/sons and especially us single moms. They are our babies but then we watch them turn into MEN. Its so weird. I wish I could say it got “easier” in the teen years….but, um….well…..maybe it will for you two 🙂 He’s blessed to have you and visa versa!
My goodness. Twelve years old. Too long ago for me to remember. My oldest just turned 30 and the youngest turned 24 in March–12 is a LONG way past. Happy birthday to your Baby Boy!
One thing I would tell any parent: Write down the stories as they happen. Believe me, you WILL forget. Despite the advice, none of us actually does the writing. Too many things we have all forgotten. 🙁
Happy Birthday, Justin.
Olga:
Thank you so very much.
xxoo
xxoo
Barbara:
I know. Our boys are really starting to change into men. You are so right when you said “There’s a special bond betweens mothers/sons and especially us single moms” I feel lucky to have that.
CMK:
Yep. I kept a baby journal about him for years, still do. I keep the papers he writes, and all of his report cards. I guess cuz he is my One And Only, its been easy and IMPORTANT to me to save and preserve all that kinda stuff.
Greg:
THANK YOU!
you made me cry . i hope your happy. JCH is awesome fun to hang with. we always have a crackin up, hilarious blast!! we have so many more great times ahead. i love the both of you but JCH is cooler. dom & marco look up to him because hes so funny & smart. im so happy we are all such great close friends.
xoxoxoxo <3 aunt fanny
OMG, you made me cry. Happy Birthday to your not-so-little-boy!
Well, it’s a Happy Birthday JCH and a Happy Mother’s Day Meleah!.
My own turns 11 this month as well, what is it with May & kids?. That reminds me: I trail him by almost exactly 30 years… dang!, where’s my walking stick? 😉
May 10th is MY son’s birthday too!! See? That’s why you like my boy so much. And, he says “planick” too. Only, he hasn’t mentioned any jackafires…thank goodness!
Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY JCH! You make your Momma proud!
My goodness, 12 years old!!!!! Thats almost an adult!!! I remember being 12 – it is a great age and is the trial year for teenagerhood. From England, I send JCH lots of wishes for this most special day, with loads of happiness and good health. JCH make sure you hold on tight to these memories… you will look back on them in years to come with much fondness!!! Have a wonderful day and a wonderful year!!! Oh, and I have just seen how many birthday wishes you have already received…. wow! You are a VERY popular young man!!!
To Meleah, I read your post and felt every word. JCH is soooo lucky to have such a caring mother. Each memory that you shared with us showed a little snippet of the warmth the you have and the happiness that the two of you have shared. Happy Mothers Day to you my friend!
Warm wishes ~ Graham xxoo
Fanny:
You already know how much JCH loves you back…Cant wait for the slumber party this weekend. I am just as happy that we have gotten so close. I cant wait for our “Family Vacation” next month in June. We will create memories of a lifetime for all of our kids, in The Dominican Republic @ Club Med Punta Canta…THANK YOU for THAT GIFT to us. That is something neither of us will ever forget! 34 days baby…34 days till we bask In The Sun… On An Island…Man & Parent Free. Now that is one hellova birthday present.
xxoo xxoo
Random Chick:
That cuz your a MOMMY too. Thank you.
Rog:
hahahahahah
I hate the aging process, my child is the undeniable tangible proof; I am an OLD ASS
Momo:
That MUST be why I love YOUR boy like my OWN boy!….he does NOT say PLANICK? Really? OMFG…. I love it.
At least you will know how to get rid of Jackrafire if he shows up on your doorstep.
Graham:
“From England, I send JCH lots of wishes for this most special day, with loads of happiness and good health.”
THANK YOU.
The letter to him was too sweet. As soon as I am done commenting I am going to go give the twins a super big hug.
Happy 12th JCH!! Enjoy the day and do whatever you want and when anyone tries to stop you just tell ’em it’s your birthday. Sorry Mel, but he deserves a free ride/get out of jail free card just one day year…
😉
Well, I’m crying. Surprise surprise. What a terrific mom you are, Miss Meleah, and how lucky are you both to be such an important part of each other’s lives.
Happiest of Birthdays to you, Justin!! May your day be filled with everything spectacular!
Whoops, I mean JCH!! …sorry about that…
Happy Birthday old man!!!! just wait until things really begin to change 😉
Bless ya Melly xo
Twelve..boy I can remember when I was twelve..not really.. you have become a wonderful boy and glad you are in your mom’s life since I know how it is to have son’s or daughters that you love .. enjoy your b-day
Michael C:
You better hug those girls of yours! I promise to give him a get out of jail free card.
HollyGL:
THANK YOU SO MUCH SWEETY. I didn’t mean to make you cry! xxoo
FV:
Thanks darling
Bob:
Thank you! 🙂
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JCH!!!