Friday Funnies: Wine vs. Water

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine (or alcohol)…and to those who don’t.

As  Ben Franklin said:
In  wine there is wisdom
in beer there is freedom,
in water there is  bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli). Also known as bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poo.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer. Or when drinking Vodka, Tequila, Rum, Whiskey, basically any other liquor, because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:
Water =  Poop
Wine =  Health.

Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.

About Meleah

Mother. Writer. Television Junkie. Pajama Jean Enthusiast.
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28 Responses to Friday Funnies: Wine vs. Water

  1. Selma says:

    That’s it, I’m starting drinking wine again. I’m full of enough sh*t as it is!!!!

  2. LMAO !!!! There’s my reason right there. More wine, more wine.

  3. Betty says:

    LOL! You are too funny! Thank goodness I’m a wine drinker. 😉

  4. moooooog35 says:

    Sure, my water may have poo in it…

    …but it won’t make me sleep with ugly chicks.

    Actually, I’d do that without the alcohol.

    I’m desperate.

  5. I’ve always preferred wine over water! Hmm.

  6. Noemi says:

    That’s it – I’m gonna finish off this bottle of Malibu coco rum now. 😉

  7. Oh no! I don’t like alcohol, now what? That’s why everyone calls me poo face!

  8. But I want to thank you. I really do… Thank you so very much.

    I’ll be sipping on my long island iced tea this evening with you in mind.

    Have a great weekend.

  9. Oscar says:

    Words to live by my dear!

  10. sHaE-sHaE says:

    OMG that is classic! Hahaha I wish I could post that at my job where everyone is walking around with gigantic bottles of Fuji water. 🙂

  11. Okay I won’t thank you. I’ll just add that in the past alcoholic beverages were indeed the only safe thing to drink. Teetotalers used to pay for their attempt at purity with their lives. The beer drinking cultures of many countries recognize this fact by considering it a basic foodstuff, not some sort of indulgence.

    Drink up!!

  12. Rogelio says:

    *It* happens… if *it* doesn’t kill ya, it makes you stronger. Years of diligent water drinking = with 90% of the time straight from the tap – has made me impervious against almost everything except Sushi.

  13. Gagging right now. I almost always exclusively drink water…

  14. teeni says:

    LOL. Good one! I do drink a lot of water so when people tell me I’m full of sh!t now, I can just agree with them. LOL.

  15. Ricardo says:

    You know, that is a pearl of wisdom. And as you may have heard, there are tons of prescription drugs in the water because so many people are on them. They can’t filter it out.

  16. paisley says:

    i think i will print this out and take it with me to my next forced upon me AA meeting……. maybe then they will understand how come i keep telling them they are so full of shit……..

  17. Maithri says:

    Haha!

    I found your lovely blog through selma,

    E.coli doesnt actually equal faeces 😉 Its all found naturally in our gut and in other parts of the body… So lets not give up on the ole H20 altogether…

    but i’m all for the wine drinking too! 😉

    Warm peace to you, M

  18. Lee says:

    I am living, walking proof that there are problems with your hypothesis, Mel. In my case, a glass of wine or tequila and I turn into a pile of poo!

  19. Loni says:

    I will take that into consideration LOL.
    My company use to give us free bottled water and one day I opened one up and it smelled like POO! (seriously! It was gross) See if they would have had bottles of wine instead, never would have happened.

    🙂

  20. terri says:

    I agreee. I am much more free and much more fun after a couple of beers than I am without.

  21. ::Sip Swirl Swallowing:: could not agree with you more…

  22. catscratch says:

    I knew it! I’m better off drinkin beer!

  23. so can we thank you for the laugh?

  24. Does drinking Water explain why Duby Bush uses Bushisms when he talks? 😉

  25. PAUL says:

    I guess I’ve gota lota water to drink.

  26. haha … I love this … bring on DA wine 😉

  27. Roshan says:

    On my way home from work, I’m going to get a get a couple of drinks. You made me do it, so if I become a raging alcoholic, we know who to blame.

  28. Have you seen that BEn Franklin quote t-shirt?

    I think it says

    BEER IS PROOF GOD LOVES US AND WANTS US TO BE HAPPY!

    It’s a real quote- I know a lot of people who wear the shirt. I don’t drink beer, I drink wine once in awhile.

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