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Friday Funnies: The Husband Store

A store that sells New Husbands has opened in New York City. This is where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store  ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or she may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So a woman headed into the store to shop for a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs AND Love Kids.

‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’

So she continues upward.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With  Housework.

‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are  Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with  Housework, and Have a Strong  Romantic  Streak.

She is tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE

To avoid gender bias charges,the store’s owner opened a New Wives Store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

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  • Bwahahahaha! Happy Friday, Meleah!

  • On behalf of confused, single men everywhere, this post was particularly enjoyable.

  • That is priceless. You have the best funnies. LOL.

  • I’ve heard that joke before, but it makes me laugh everytime!

  • I had just been moved to the basement floor sold-as-is unadvertised bargain bin when I was bought… that’d explain a lot.

    Anyway… Buon Venerdì!

  • dude,,, i would have taken the first decent looking one on the first floor… the rest of it is just fluff……..

  • LMAO! Man, I’m laughing so hard, my sides hurt. Good one Meleah 😀

  • LOL… Happy Friday!

  • Nice one Meleah! I’m off to send this to my friends!

  • I thought this was a ‘New Husband Store.’

    Why is floor 4 filled with homosexuals?

  • I’ve heard those. Glad you gave us guys equal time!

  • Arv

    greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedyyyyyyyyyyy…. lol…. good laugh mate… take care… cheers…

  • Very interesting & humurous. I showed to my wife & we both enjoyed.

  • Am I visitor 31,456,013? 😉

  • I would’ve stopped at the 4th floor. You had me at housework.

  • Ha Ha !! Thanks for the laugh!!

  • I go green. New Husband is a waste as it mostly likely ends up in landfills pushing up daisies. I’m smart, I offer only Husband Upgrade service.
    : )

  • lmao…can i just say that i think my husband stopped at the second floor? god, i am still laughing…night Meleah!

  • oooh I missed the money part, lol…

  • LOL.

    That is really funny. I will definitely have to share this with my husband.

  • From the bucket of cold water department: The first floor for men would be “good looks and willing to tolerate sex”. 99% would stop there. The second floor would be “has money” and the remaining 1% of guys who went there would be freeloaders, gay or both.

  • Brilliant! 🙂

  • cmk

    Yep, I enjoyed that!

  • Oh yes! It’s about right ha ha!

  • My wife found me in the subbasement…

  • Lee

    I would have to go to at least the 4th floor of the Wives Store…gotta find one that doesn’t drink…no wait, she’s got money. Never mind.

  • Women! 😀

  • LMAO! Too funny! I had never heard this one before. lol!

  • So where is this store? I need to stop at the fifth floor 😉

  • LOL I love that one!

    BTW….stop by my place, I’ve got something for you!

  • LOL. Good one. Hope you are having a good weekend! 🙂

  • LOL!!! And………Mmmmm-wah!

  • M – permission to use this story in my “marriage” blog, please. Thanks!

  • Pingback: The Husband/Wife Stores « The Chronicles of a Cross-cultural Marriage()

  • Well if there was such a store you would find me in the basement under “damaged goods.”
    In a foul mood today Meleah.

  • Yeah…umm…I’m looking to be a house husband. I need to find me a line somewhere haha 🙂

  • Oh shoot but that was funny. Great way to kick off Monday!

    Have a great week Meleah Rebecca.

  • Is there a lesbian store like that? I’m not to picky. Floor 1 sounds fine to me, but she has to have a good heart, that is essential. Please e-mail the address & directions to such a store.

    Thank you! 😉

    PS – I’ve stolen the “Friday Funnies” idea from you!

  • LOL… this is very true. You’d definitely find me on the first floor, based on those descriptions. 🙂

  • Meleah

    Im glad everyone enjoyed these.

  • oh women are easy to please, men just have to know where to start. that was curiosity walking up the stairs.

  • Loved it. LOL

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