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FIRST INSTINCT

I never trust my OWN instincts, and every time it bites me in the ass….

I am going to write the book, the way it was intended to be written.
The same way I started the book, when it was just for me, when it was so natural to write.

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  • THEQUEENOFPERSIAâ„¢

    finally.

    could you pick up the pace here…

    TOMORROW IS PROMISED TO NOONE.

  • meleah rebeccah

    I just got your email…. NO you had NOTHING to do with my confusion at all

    Mostly my MOM and her uncomfortability with the reality of what happened in my life,

    and …. She has feelings of GUILT ….her not being able to protect / save / stop me from any of it,

    so when I sent her the CHPT 1 & 2 final drafts to COPYWRITE she went on a “you should change the book to fiction” speech “suggestion”

    While I am NOT ashamed, ect…

    My mother has done so much for me, AND MY SON….I woudlnt want my book to be something ELSE that hurt her as I have done / said sooo many things that have been quite painful to / for her.

    I am okay with my decision. I love my book, just the way it is…. I love the responses from everyone on how great they think it is too

    It was just a moment when I felt I needed to look at all possiblities, and the ramifications OTHERS may endure with respects for the book

    This is the FIRST time I have ever BELIVED it was even a REAL BOOK, with REAL POTENTAIL,

    I just needed to look at a few things… And have a few laughs over the weekend with friends… Accomplished……

    Now, I can move FORWARD and write…things are RIGHT in my head agian

    Mom and I have a lot of issues to work out… I know that if I became a sucessful writer, she would be happy as all hell for me…. Its just hard for her …UNDERSTANDABLEY

    Therefore, sometimes, I am dissuaded against my OWN pasions / ideas for a bigger desire …preservation of my relationship with my mom…

    I will work things out with HER when the TIME comes….

    For now I will write

    And I am forever gratful for all your HELP and INPUT and MOTIVATION and INSPIRATION

    THANK YOU

    For believing in me… And this book.

  • Anonymous

    I happened to check out your blog tonight (I don’t go there all the time) and read Friday’s entry. I’m upset that you seem so confused (or did). First off, if you need me for any reason, email me or call me; I got wind of your concerns concerning Fiction or Nonfiction only today. I thought we had discussed it and you were OK about it. Sorry. Let me tell you what I think: this is Meleah’s Story, nobody else’s. Not mine and I want you to tell it any way that gives you peace and satisfaction. My feelings that it should be Nonfiction (almost biographical) are because the events really happened and they happened to you! I feel that telling it as a fictional account diminishes it – it’s too important (by extension, you’re too important). If you’re still worried about lawsuits or public condemnation or anything, we can tell the story as a compilation and by claiming that all the names are fake ‘to protect the innocent”, etc. But these are just my feelings. The story is and always will be yours. Tell me how you want to tell it and I will be happy (delirious) to help. You’re the author; I’m just the author’s helper. If all this is already resolved in your mind, then please ignore this email but if I am in any way a contributor to the confusion, I’m sorry.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for clearing up what I was worried about. Y’know, you’re very much the tormented Artist: you don’t write only because you can, you write because you have to! That’s one of the reasons that this story has become important to me, too. I know what it feels like to need to do something. Anyway, thanks for getting back to me – you DA BEST, momma!

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