[Week One: February 1 – 6]
Okay people, I haven’t done this in a while. But, since it was my very best friends 40something birthday [last week] and because her favorite blog posts are written this way, I will be writing this blog post in the ‘Third Person’ much like I write my ‘Facebook Status Updates’.
[So, my darling Amy The Bartender this post also known as ‘My Week In Review’ has been written just the way you like it.]
Once Upon A Time, Meleah was a very funny girl. She laughed a lot, and she even wrote things that were quite comical. And then Meleah fell in love with a man and everything went to hell. Meleah couldn’t find her words, or her sense of humor for what seemed like several months. But then one day, Meleah woke up and decided she finally had enough. And that’s when Meleah became determined to start ‘Doing Things Differently™’.
Meleah realized February 1st landed on a Monday. Which meant not only was it a brand new week, but it was also a brand new month. And Meleah thinks that kind of timing only comes along every once in a while and she should take advantage of it. Oh yeah, and that whole ‘It’s A New Year’ thingy.
So, that fateful day, Meleah went for an early morning walk with her mom and she made it around the block THREE times. And that is THREE times MORE than Meleah thought she could do! [And by early morning she means 9am. And anyone who knows Meleah knows that 9am is very early for her. And by 9am, she really means 10.]
Much to Meleah’s surprise – she felt good outdoors in the fresh air, and she felt invigorated by the cool winds whipping her unprotected face. On the other hand, Meleah’s lungs didn’t exactly appreciate the added strain of trying to breathe and walk at the same time because Meleah’s lungs aren’t used to ‘Multitasking’. Halfway through her walk Meleah realized she should probably invest in purchasing some gloves.
Meleah spent the rest of the day fighting off the urge to take a nap in hopes of curing her Insomnia. And while she loves taking naps almost as much as she loves eating bacon, she refused to succumb to her overwhelming drowsiness. Unfortunately, Meleah still couldn’t fall asleep until well after 3am.
As shocking as this may be, Meleah awoke at 7am the following morning. But then she reset her alarm clock for 8am, because Four Hours of sleep really only constitutes as a Nap in Meleah’s world.
Meleah began ‘Day Two’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ also known as Tuesday, with excessive amounts of caffeine and two cigarettes. However, Meleah did have some Activia Peach Yogurt, instead of bacon, and called it eating a healthy breakfast. Meleah wasn’t quite as motivated to take another early morning walk, but she went ahead and laced up her sneakers anyway.
When Meleah came downstairs her mother was pleasantly surprised to see Meleah wearing an ‘Outfit’. Meleah’s mom thinks it’s a huge step for her to wear ‘Sweat Pants’ as opposed to ‘Pajamas’. And, that’s because it IS.
Once again, Meleah and her mom made it around the block three times in a row, for the second day in a row, but this time Meleah’s thighs begged for mercy. Nevertheless, a determined Meleah continued her stride. And while she generally prefers listening to ‘Classic Rock And Roll’ from the 60’s and 70’s, on this particular day, she found ‘Angry Rap Music’ was indeed a driving force for much needed inspiration. Because nothing made her walk faster than hearing the song, ‘Never Enough.’ Thank you Eminem and 50 Cent.
Later that very day, Meleah cleaned her room and did the laundry which was NOT ‘Doing Things Differently’ since she obsessively cleans her room every day. Meleah also continued to ‘annoy’ some people with her useless ‘Facebook Status Updates’, because she firmly believes some things should NEVER change.
After making her daily ‘Internet Rounds’ and commenting on her favorite blogs, Meleah began to feel sluggish. However, Meleah resolved to picking up a book she recently ‘won’ [simply for participating in a meme] and read it from cover to cover. [Meleah will be sharing more on that totally super awesome book another day.]
[Speaking of making ‘Internet Rounds’ Meleah finally cleaned up her blogroll, and had to delete over 70 links. It was kind of sad realize how many of her blog friends have ‘drop out’ and stopped posting. *Insert Sad Face*.]
Meleah was utterly exhausted by 7pm, but still managed to stay awake [yet again] until the wee hours of the night, and totally against her will. At least this time Meleah spent her sleepless night treating herself to the best pedicure she’s ever had, and her toes have never looked more fabulous.
[Side bar: Meleah wondered if she should try one of those prescription-sleeping-pills she’s heard horror wonderful stories about. But, Meleah is a little too nervous to try them in the event she will suffer from the ‘side effects’. Side effects which are highly likely and that may or may not include: waking up, naked, in a car, with a bowl of cold spaghetti on your lap, with no recollection of said events leading up to that particular scenario. Um? How About No.]
Wednesday Morning, also known as ‘Day Three’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ began sharply at 8am. And Meleah felt great. She felt better than she’s felt in weeks. In fact, she didn’t even hit the snooze button. Not even once.
Maybe she woke up in such a good mood because she was overly excited about getting that awesomely excellent ‘High Score’ on her favorite game of all time ‘Bejeweled Blitz’. And, even though Amy The Bartender will accuse her of, ‘Cheating By using her iPhone’ Meleah still thinks a High Score of 320,150 – ‘Rocks The Casbah’.
Meleah looked out her bedroom window and saw snow covering the ground and rain falling from the sky. And even though Meleah’s mom had to skip their ‘New Morning Routine’ due to a manicure appointment, and even though the weather was nasty; Meleah STILL got dressed in an ‘Outfit’ and went ‘Outside’.
Meleah is proud to announce that she made it around the block three times in a row, for the third day in a row, and she did it all by herself while listening to ‘Who’s Gunna Run This Town Tonight’ – repeatedly. Thank you, Jay-Z, and Rihanna.
When Meleah finished her walk, she congratulated herself for a job well done, by going on an all out CSV Shopping Extravaganza wherein she spent an absurd amount of ‘Coin’ on all of the ‘Luxurious Supplies’ her heart desired. And by ‘Luxurious Supplies’ she really means the ‘Basic Essentials’ such as toilet paper, shampoo, toothpaste, and baby wipes.
Still flying high on self-generated endorphins, Meleah successfully made it to her Dr. Appointment [and, on time] to receive her ‘high-frequency-laser-facial-treatment’. Because nothing helps boots herself confidence as much as clear, clean, and healthy skin. [Now if only she could have a ‘Good Hair Day’?]
Meleah dutifully picked up her son from school [who had to stay late for play rehearsals] and when she returned home she couldn’t fathom keeping her eyes open for one more second. But, since Meleah desperately wanted to ‘Stay Awake’ she began making dinner preparations.
Once Meleah completed the task, and with nothing left to do but kill time, she simply could not resist the comforts of her bed any longer. Meleah took a ‘Swan Dive’ into the coziness that is her freshly laundered flannel sheets and down comforter. And by ‘Swan Dive’ she really means ‘Face Plant’. Except that Meleah never did take that nap. She was too worried about getting the dinner she lovingly prepared into the oven on time. That, and her son kept waking her up every five seconds because he needed paperwork signed.
After serving dinner, doing the dishes, and watching American Idol, Meleah finally fell asleep. At 10pm.
[insert *collective gulp* heard ‘round the world].
Meleah started ‘Day Four’ Of ‘Doing Things Differently’ also know as Thursday, at 8am with some awful stomach cramps. Nonetheless, with a little help from TI and Rihanna and the song ‘Live Your Life’ Meleah put on her ‘Outfit’ and went ‘Outside’.
Meleah and her mom made it around the block three times in a row, for the fourth day in a row. Thankfully, it was extra cold that day, and thankfully as a result Meleah had to keep her head down to prevent the winds from freezing her face off. And Meleah says ‘Thankfully’ because having her head down and looking at the ‘ground’ rather than looking at the ‘scenery’ – was the only reason she narrowly avoided stepping in dog poo.
Later that morning, Meleah and her Best Friend Amy The Bartender wondered ‘How Many Days In A Row’ will Meleah have to ‘Do Things Differently’ before it becomes ‘Doing Things The Same’?
Meleah thinks after 30 consecutive days she can consider ‘Doing Things Differently’ as ‘Doing Things The Same’ but Amy thinks Meleah has to continue ‘Doing Things Differently’ for at least six months before it can be considered ‘Doing Things The Same’.
[Seriously people, we want to know the answer to that question. I am inviting everyone – to open up on the comments of this blog post and let me know what you think! Whether you comment regularly – or whether you have never left a comment!]
That afternoon, Meleah had lunch at her favorite place in the whole wide world, otherwise known as her local country club [often referred to as KHCC]. Meleah settled into ‘her favorite corner’ and placed her shiny new Macbook Pro computer on the bar.
And no, that was NOT ‘Doing Things Differently’ because Meleah ALWAYS goes to KHCC on Thursday’s and Meleah ALWAYS has her computer. And that’s because Meleah firmly believes in ‘Doing Things Consistently’ even when she’s ‘Doing Things Differently’.
After lunch, Meleah decided leave her ‘Comfort Zone’ and traveled outside the four square miles that surround her house. Meleah took her son shopping at Target for some ‘Retail Therapy’, because that really was ‘Doing Things Differently’. Especially since Meleah LOATHES any kind of shopping, and, because she NEVER, ever, ever, ever, buys ANYTHING for HERSELF. However, she desperately needed new slippers. Sadly, Meleah couldn’t find any slippers to her liking. But she didn’t leave the store empty handed. She finally purchased the ever so necessary gloves she needed since Monday.
Meleah came home, ate diner, and dedicated the rest of evening for some much-needed relaxation. Because ‘Doing Things Differently’ and trying to force herself to convert from being a ‘Night Person’ into a ‘Day Person’, while adding exercise to her daily routine for the first time in YEARS, going shopping, thinking positively, and eating healthy, was seriously beginning to kick her ass.
Meleah started ‘Day Five’ Of ‘Doing Things Differently’ also know as Friday, at lot later than she expected. Meleah forgot to set her alarm clock and she didn’t wake up until 930am. Nonetheless, Meleah still considered that to be somewhat of a ‘Triumph’, because she still got up, and out of bed – prior to Noon.
Meleah and her mother took the ‘Day Off’ from walking because they were both really sore. And by really sore, Meleah means suffering from crippling shin splits. Plus, Meleah had a serious case of stomach cramps that were ‘Off The Charts’. So, after a hot shower and a steaming cup of coffee, Meleah visited [and commented] on all off her favorite blogs. It took nearly 7 hours of reading to catch up with everyone.
Friday night was ‘Family Night’, wherein Meleah, her Mother and her Father ventured out to see Uncle Rick in a new musical Play ‘100 Years Into The Heart.’ [Meanwhile, Meleah’s 13 year old son decided he was ‘Too Cool’ to join us and chose to go over his friends house.]
Meleah thinks her Uncle Rick was ‘Absolutely Amazing’ in his role as Carmine. Truly. And she’s not just saying that because he is her uncle. Honestly, it was one of the best nights Meleah has had in a very long time. And she would like to take this opportunity to apologize to anyone that was irritated by the extreme brightness of Meleah’s iPhone which kept illuminating every time she received a text message even though her phone was on vibrate and buried at the bottom of her purse.
Saturday Morning, Meleah arose from her bed with a smile on her face and a skip in her step at precisely 9am. Meleah looked out her window and shouted ‘Holy Mother Of Gah!’ when she noticed an absurdly ridiculous amount of snow covering her development. And then she wondered [just for a second] when the hell she ‘moved’ to New Hampshire. Because this kind of MESS? Usually only happens in her neck of the woods.
Now, even though it was ‘The Weekend’ and that’s generally when people decide to take the ‘Day Off’, and even though the weather called for a ‘Day In Pajamas’ Meleah continued ‘Doing Things Differently’ and welcomed ‘Day Six’ of her self-inflicted challenge.
Meleah obviously wasn’t ‘In Her Right Mind’ when she offered to help her son and her father outside. Because shoveling five hundred feet of snow? Proved to be much more of a ‘Work Out’ than Meleah could handle. But singing ‘Snow On The Ground, Snow On The Ground, Lookin’ Like A Fool With The Snow On The Ground’ kept Meleah entertained for hours.
Drained, defeated, and with a frozen face, Meleah finished cleaning off her car and sat down to write this blog post – which she chose to post on a Saturday rather than a Monday because that is also really,’Doing Things Differently’, and then she took a hot shower. And this is where she will be spending the rest of her day.
Being that tomorrow is Sunday, Meleah will be giving herself a break, because even G-d rested on The Seventh Day. But, she will wake up before noon, and she will even get dressed in her ‘Big Girl Clothes’ because after all she has a Super Bowl Party to attend!
And now, on an even more personal note, Meleah would like to give her very Best Friend, Amy The Bartender, her ‘Official Birthday Present’ otherwise known as ‘A Lengthy Title As Opposed To A Nickname’ [The ‘Revised’ Edition].
Amy The Bartender, Who Plays Tennis [And Golf] – But Is Not Ranked. And, Who Incessantly Checked Her Reflection In The Windows Of Other People’s Cars [While Standing In The Middle Of A Crime Scene] To Make Sure Her Hair Remained Pin Straight, In The Humidity, At Two In The Morning, And While Seated Curbside – Counting Out Her Tips [In The Dark] To Pay For A Tow Truck, After Spending Money On A Specific Keratin Treatment – That Promised To Deliver The Aforementioned Hair Follicle Wonders And Was Pleasantly Surprised When Those Said Products ‘Lived Up’ To Her Expectations. Who Miraculously Survived A Horrifying Car Ride With Nightingale, Wherein Amy Was So Desperate To Escape, She Actually Contemplated Jumping Out Of The Vehicle And Implementing The ‘Tuck And Roll Method’. Who Has Been Know To Wear Prescription Sunglasses In A Dark Movie Theater, And, While Driving At Night. Who Loves Jimmy Buffet, And, Jimmy & The Parrots, And, Her Adorable Dog Douglas Wilson. That Stopped Wearing Make-Up, AND Jewelry, After Her Son Jake Was Born [Twenty Years Ago]. Who Once Had To Go Shopping In Multiple Stores [As If She Was On A Scavenger Hunt] Just To Find A Specific Type Of Pepperidge Farm Bread, And Who Shares Those Very Moments Via Text Messaging In The Third Person. Who May Or May Not Have Had The Largest Uterus [Gram for Gram] Recently Removed, And, Wonders Why She Didn’t Do That Sooner. That Once Drank ‘ The Kelp’ On Purpose, And Subsequently Suffered Serious Consequences. Who Thinks Using The ‘Boosts’ and ‘Coins’ for the game ‘Bejeweled Blitz’ Is Exactly Like ‘Legalized Cheating’ [But That’s Only Because Amy Hasn’t Mastered The Proper Usage Of Said ‘Boosts’ and ‘Coins’] Who Spends More Time Driving Her Mother To Hospitals And Doctors Appointments Than Anyone Meleah Has Ever Met, Who Once Twisted Her ‘Bad Knee’ After Jogging Gingerly For All Of Three Steps, And That Thinks The Manager Of ‘Pet Smart’ Is An Absolute Moron. Who Loves Gramma Ev, Larry David, And, Chelsea Handler ALMOST As Much As Meleah Does. Who Is The Best Friend Meleah Has Ever Had, And Has Always Been There For Meleah. Who Has Played The Role Of Meleah’s Biggest Supporter, Who Has Gone Above And Beyond To Assist In Meleah’s Private And Personal Family Matters, Who Was Once Blindsided And Subsequently Confronted Outside Of The Woman’s Bathroom [While Working] By One Of Meleah’s Family Members, And Survived. Who Makes Meleah Smile Every Single Day, And Not Only Appreciates Meleah’s Random Outburst Of Laughter, But Welcomes All Of Meleah’s Brand Of Crazy, And, Who Has Helped Shape Meleah Into The Woman She Is Becoming, Simply By Giving, Sharing, And Expressing, Amy’s Undying Unconditional Love.
So, Thank you Amy. I love you.
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