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Dear Muse,

Every time I sit down to write something, you’re nowhere to be found. And believe me, I’ve looked. I checked in all of your usual hiding places, with no such luck. It seems as though you’ve up and left. And you didn’t even bother to say goodbye.

Quite frankly, I’m a little worried.

Have you been kidnapped?
Are you lost?
Or are you just on vacation?



To be perfectly honest, my level of productivity has been severely impaired ever since your departure. And I can’t work without you. Therefore, I’m willing to make a few promises in exchange for your swift return.

  1. I vow to pay more attention to you. Even when you decided to make an appearance during the most inopportune moments. Like right before I fall asleep, or when I’m driving my car, or while I’m taking a shower.
  1. I promise to feed you a well-rounded variety of books, stories, articles, and blog posts, in order to keep you fresh. And coffee. And brownies. And bacon. And cheese. And vodka.
  1. I am committed to changing my inconsistent work ethic. I pledge to stick with our regular writing schedule on Sunday – Thursday nights from 11pm – 6am. And I will stop trying to force your hand during the daytime, because I know how much that pisses you off.
  1. I’m motivated.  I’m inspired. And I am one thousand percent dedicated. In fact, I’m willing to check myself into ‘Writing Rehab’ while under a self-imposed-stay-at-home-lock-down, if necessary.
  1. Lastly, I will provide an endless supply of scented candles, a neatly organized workstation, and whatever else your heart desires.


So please, for the love of all things holy, come home already.
And let’s get back to work.



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  • Oh my goodness. I could never stick to a firm schedule for blog writing. You rock if you can do it.  But you rock no matter what you do!

  • Maybe you and I should get together and go looking for them in AC!

  • I only blog once a week.
    I can’t blog AND write my novel!

    I usually write my blog posts Saturday’s and post them for Sundays. The rest of the week is dedicated to my book.

    But ever since my muse left, I haven’t been able to write my book OR a semi-decent blogpost!


  • Paulette Smith

     That’s not quite true. This was a ‘semi-decent blogpost’. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist. You could say that resistance is futile today. It’s a Monday after all. At least for another 8 minutes.)  🙂

  • Thank you, daaaaaaaaling!

  • Now I want a deep fried Twinkie.  Sometimes you just have to write through the missing Muse to force it to return.

  • Thanks, Anne!

    That’s exactly what I’m trying to do.


  • StarTraci

    It’s a plan!!!


  • * hugs *

  • Those darn muses must be eternal teenagers. They’re unreliable and they’re nowhere to be found when we need them the most. Hope yours comes home soon!

  • Roshan

    I guess I better come back to you. Now that you have asked so nicely & passionately, I can’t stay away 😉

  • Thank you, my lovely!

  • Um…..

  • Hasn’t your muse been hard at work on your novel?   And you want her to blog for you, too?   You may have killed the poor thing.  😉

  • That’s true!

  • Well I know I saw here her for about 5 minutes last week, but then she took off like a rabbit and did not say where she was headed. Here’s to a speedy return!

  • Thank you!

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