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Dear Facebook

Dear Facebook,

When I first met you I wasn’t sure we would get along. In fact, I found you quite difficult to navigate. And frankly, I was intimidated by all of your incessant application requests. Also, I thought you were just going to be another MySpace.

However, against my better judgment, I went ahead and signed up for your services.

I have to admit you sucked me in, right from the beginning, and then you held me tight in your grip.  Maybe it was the way you helped me discover so many of my long lost high school friends? Or, maybe it was all of those fabulous pieces of flair? Whatever the case, I found myself overly exited when someone tagged me in a note, or wrote on my wall. And before I knew it, I had become officially addicted.

Honest to blog, I fell in love with you.

I am not ashamed to admit that I have wasted countless hours of my life, thinking of my own Status Updates and making comments, all the while gleefully participating in harmless friendly banter and basking in all of your magnificent features. Not to mention, you provide me the joy of speaking in the third person.

Then WHAM!

You hit me.

And right where it hurt.

All of my commenting fun came to a sudden halt on Thursday evening.

When I logged into my account, I was greeted with this unpleasant message:

 

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I thought maybe you were just feeling a little glitchy that day and I didn’t want to bother you. I signed out without writing a single word anywhere on your site.

Friday, I decided to try again. Yet, after only writing one Status Update on my own page, and one comment on a friend’s page, you presented me with this message:

 

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Um.

What The Hell?

[I’m not really sure how one can abuse a social networking site, simply by socializing and networking.]

Even though I was able to post a few Status Updates, every time I tried to respond via comment on my own page or anyone else’s pages all I would see was this:

 

please-try-again-later

For fear of losing my Facebook privileges, or having my account disabled, I wasn’t going to push my luck. However, in my defense, your very instructions tell me to “Please Try Again Later.”

So I did.

Over.

And Over.

And Over.

Again.

Apparently, “Please Try Again Laterreally means, “GO FUCK YOURSELF” because only a few moments later, I received this message from you:

 

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Oh, Facebook!

Why did you lure me into your world, only to cut me off? Why did you give me your love, only to take it away? And, now you’ve left me comment-less,without the decency of a comprehensive explanation.

 

FOR SHAME!

 

I’ve tried contacting you, but no one responds.  I’ve tried changing my password and rebooting my computer, but that didn’t help.  I’ve tried fixing my settings and followed all of your instructions, but that gets me nowhere.

And  – I can’t go on living like this!

 

Your account was disabled because you violated Facebook’s Terms of Use, to which you agreed when you first registered for an account on the site. Accounts can either be disabled for repeat offenses or for one, particularly egregious violation. Facebook does not allow users to register with fake names, to impersonate any person or entity, or to falsely state or otherwise misrepresent themselves or their affiliations. We do not allow users to send unsolicited or harassing messages to people they don’t know, and we remove posts that advertise a product, service, website, or opportunity.

Unfortunately, for technical and security reasons, Facebook cannot provide you with a description or copy of the removed content.

If none of the above are applicable, and you think your account was mistakenly disabled, please contact us here. Make sure to write from the login email address associated with your disabled account and to include a brief description of your issue

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Anyway, if you happen to get a ‘friend request’ from my TWIN SISTER named: Mia Bella Baldwin
Please just accept it!
Or, feel free to search for that profile page.

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