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Crushing News – AFTER – The 3rd Date.

Or.

Other possible title(s) could have been:

“Want To Know How To Get From Cloud 9 To Devastation Nation – In Record Speed?

Or.

“Currently Gagging… In My Own Mouth.”

Or.

“Where Have All The Good Men Gone?”

Or.

“Run For Your Life! He’s A Sociopath And A Liar.”

Or.

“Surprise! He’s Engaged To Another Woman, And The Only Reason I Found Out Was Because He Was About To Be ‘BUSTED’ By Someone Else.”

Yep. As it turns out, ‘Super-Cute-Total-Nice-Guy’ was NOT AT ALL what or who he appeared and pretended to be.

[It’s the classic old adage; if it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t true.]

Remember when I said, “I am not exactly sure why, but he sort of reminds me of Clark Kent.”

Yea, well...NOW I KNOW WHY.

Because Clark Kent lived a double live. And so did this guy. Right down to his disguise. Except that instead of changing into a SUPERHERO, he turned into a SUPER-LIAR.

Apparently, when he told me that he was SINGLE…what he really meant to say was, “I have been in a long term relationship for over a year, and we just got engaged on EASTER.”

But he never said that. Until someone else was about to tell me.

Since I don’t like make it a habit of mine to date men that belong to other women…I hightailed from that hot mess just as soon as I learned ‘The Truth’ Friday afternoon precisely at 12pm.

Fortunately, I did not sit around all weekend pining or being upset over this.

In fact, I am proud of myself for getting in, and getting OUT as quickly as I did. I am glad I was the one who pushed the envelope. Otherwise I might still be in the dark. I am proud of myself for handling this like a grown up, even though every fiber of my being would like to expose and humiliate him all over The Internet.

Instead, I am going to walk away gracefully, with my head held high, and my dignity in tact. Like A Lady.

I am going to walk away thankful because I am not desperate to be in a relationship, or willing to put up with any such bullshit. I am going to walk away grateful to have such a supportive family and to be surrounded by an awesome group of friends. And, I am going to walk away THRILLED over the fact that I am not his girlfriend or fiancé. [Whew-insert huge sigh of relief.]

I wouldn’t be completely honest if I didn’t say, at first I was genuinely upset. But, I wasn’t upset over him.

I was upset over the fact that I had been BLINDSIDED. Literally, BLINDSIDED. None of my bells and whistles went off, and none of my red flags were raised. I felt confused having been that tricked. I started to doubt my own instincts. But after more and more details came forth, I realized I had been dealing with a real professional liar. No one would have or could have suspected this sort of outcome.

I am just glad I found out The Truth NOW. Before I had the chance to become emotionally or physically attached.

Hopefully, I will not allow this experience to ruin any future endeavors I may have with the rest of mankind.

Note To Self:
In the future…Do not date guys that do not have Cable. Or Internet. Or Television… in their homes. That does not mean they are well read. Rather, it’s a blaring warning sign. It really means that person is way too busy keeping up with all of their stories and lies, to keep up with celebrity gossip and or check emails.

I think I am going to spend the next few weeks deriving a system that will detect whether or not a man is single. Because they next time someone tells me they are single, my reaction will be, YEAH. RIGHT.

*REVISED*

Thanks to Ana aka  SomeGirl for making me my very own Clark Kent Voodoo Doll.

Now I really do feel BETTER!

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  • Crap! What a jerk and a half! I’m sorry that you went though that, but glad that you found out. Sounds like you handled the situation well, but it still must have stung. I hope you find a terrific guy soon.

  • Meleah

    SA:
    Oh My God! YEAY!
    And, Welcome BACK!!
    Thanks for the support!

    Olly:
    Dating is a total Nightmare

    Roshan:
    You are way too sweet and kind to me.
    Thank you. That is exactly what I needed to hear.

    Awake In Rochester:
    I am proud of myself and thrilled I am not still involved with someone that is such a liar, but yeah…it did sting. Im glad its over.

  • Uh, and please explain to me again how someone could do that to you? He ain’t gonna get another chance at someone as great as you for a long, long time…which means NEVER!!!

  • Pingback: Momma Mia, Mea Culpa » Blog Archive » A Joke And Blog Pimping.()

  • I’ve been absent from blogging and reading blogs. It’s going to take me a minute to get up to speed. But…

    I cannot believe this. I was so hoping to hear good things in summer fun. But that is still a possibility. Even if its with the fam.

    Glad you learned about it earlier. When you come about finding the system to detect if someone is single please share it with the world. Because I’m sure someone out there would appreciate it. 🙂

  • Meleah

    Micheal C:
    Aw! THANK YOU.
    That was the nicest comment. I truly appreciate that.
    xxoo
    🙂

    URBAN:
    I was wondering where you went! Glad you had a long holiday weekend.

    Um, yeah, this was pretty much SHOCKING. Especially since this dood went OUT OF HIS WAY to pretend to be SINGLE…just to use me.

    But, like you said, at least I have a kick ass family and wonderful friends.

    Who knows when I will ‘get back out there’ I’m a little un-trusting right now, and I’d hate to take that out on the next cat I get involved with.

  • Wtf girl? The blindsiding is the worst part. Hugs, you’ll do better next time…and remember, its not you he’s cheating on!

    As we say around these parts, “NEXT!”

  • I feel you on that. It’s hard to trust folk. What I end up doing is just go out. I enjoy myself without that extra that people like to bring to the table. Make my intentions clear and we either have a good time or we have no time.

    It isn’t a long term solution. However, it will keep me out and about during the warmer months. I’ll think about relationship later when jacket weather returns.

  • Meleah

    Courtney Ryan:
    “NEXT!” Is damn right!

    Thankfully I am not the one being cheated on. You know that old saying…”The one who cheats WITH you…Will cheat ON you!”

    Urban:
    Normally I trust people Right Away. I trust people UNTIL they give me a reason NOT to trust them. Like this guy. I’d never be able to trust him.

    But since I am currently ‘shell shocked’ as a result of being blindsided, it might take me a moment to regain my trust in all people.

    Yanno?

  • When I first read this I went to bed devising a plan to have this bastard castrated…I’ve been sending him so many bad vibes that I think he’s missing some kind of body part by now…

    {{HUGS}}

  • Jay

    Atta girl!! As for the other woman, it isn’t your responsibility to tell her .. unless she asks. 😉

  • BFD

    Once again, Meleah proves that she’s not just another ‘pretty face’… Love the Xboyfriend entry in your blog. Love your use of “metaphor” (I hope I used the right word) comparing the boyfriend / Superman / Clark Kent / secret identity thing. Perhaps you can send the “X”boyfriend a paper bag full of dogshit (on fire), and set it on his front steps. I’m sure he’ll understand that metaphor. You should write a humorous book (paperback) on your dating experiences… Keep writing… You’re good…

    Brian

  • Meleah

    SomeGirl:
    Thank god you are HERE for this one! I knew you’d come through with some way to magically get even for me.

    xxoo

    Jay:
    Thankfully. I doubt I will have any further contact with any of the people involved in this disaster.

    BFD:
    Why THANK YOU….but lets NOT use the term BOYFRIEND by any means!

    Maybe one day all of these horrific tales of dating will make for a lovely laughable book?

    You reminded me, its not just the STORY….it is the WAY YOU TELL THE STORY that makes it work.
    xxoo
    🙂

  • Lee

    I’m proud of you and the way you’re looking at this. I know you feel crappy and the whole thing sucks, but I think you’re looking at things in the right way.

    I have a 20 year old son who’s single…never mind he’s going into the Navy next week. Be patient, Meleah, the right guy will eventually come along.

  • Meleah

    Lee:
    Wow. Long time no see! I was beginning to get a complex over here!

    Damn…you got my hopes up with that 20 year old single man talk!

    Thank you for your support.

    I think I handled this pretty well myself.

    xxoo

  • Okay, I’ve scanned the comments and am going to go out on a humongous limb here…but I’m tough. I can hang. What. If. He. Was. THE. One? And what if he’s now going to talk to his fiance and come clean, say he made a mistake, and that he really found the one person for him. YOU. Okay. I know you like television, and I agree with you on the Internet. Who in HELL doesn’t NEED it like oxygen? And I’m so not encouraging you to consider someone who was dishonest. But I do know that sometimes, things aren’t neat and clean (have the violins begun to play yet?) and that Prince Charming is a frog. But, dang.

    Handling it like a lady and being the strong person I know you are is to be admired. Sigh. I just am a complete sucker for romance. Yanno?

    What happens if he comes back…? Would you take him? Erm…address him? 😉

    Bummed, meleah. Seriously bummed.

  • Meleah

    Kelly Pea:

    My darling…I have thought about all of that. I have considered a million possibilities.

    Here are some further details that I have learned over the last few days directly FROM HIS FAMILY MEMBERS:

    1. He had one girlfriend for years. When he was ‘done with her’ he did NOT break up with her. He cheated on her with THE GIRL HE IS NOW engaged to.

    2. He just got engaged on EASTER (last month) and now he thinks that maybe he doesn’t want to marry HER.

    3. But rather than break up with her and figuring out what he WANTS…he was planning on cheating on her WITH Me, which is WHY he went out of his way to LIE about being single….so that he could decide if I was the ‘bigger better deal?”

    * he tried explaining to me that he lied because he knew he would never had the chance to get to know mw at all…but now that he had the chance to spend some time with me, he actually ASKED if we could ‘be friends, and spend time together’

    Um. NO.

    I will NEVER ever ever ever be “the girl on the side”

    I cant be USED like that.

    I mean…two years ago? I probably would have tried to be the one to WIN him over….

    However…EVEN IF I DID… even if by some twist of fate he called me tomorrow and said, I made a horrible mistake with my fiance…YOU ARE THE ONE…how would I ever be able to trust him?

    If her cheated on the first one, and is now cheating on THIS one…who says he wouldn’t do that to me?

    besides the one who cheats WITH you…cheats ON you.

    And…the lack of trust would drive me CRAZY.

    I cant spend my only three free hours a night checking his emails and cell phone for suspicious activities … I dont want to live the rest of my life like THAT.

    I am a hopeless romantic as well, which is why I was so crushed by this whole thing.

    I REALLY thought I had found a GREAT guy.

    Bummed is an UNDERSTATEMENT.

    🙁

  • Jennifer

    This is nuts!! I cant believe it!

  • Meleah

    Jennifer
    Um. Yeah. You have NO IDEA what has been going on in my life these days. Hopefully you will catch up with the latest!!

  • UGH! He’s a creep and you’re better off without a creep, and what I love about this post is knowing that YOU know that without me even saying- but then what would I comment about!

  • Meleah

    Exposed NYC:
    He really is a total douche bag! Thanks for jumping on the”Creep” Bandwagon.

    🙂

    I *loathe* dating anymore

  • You know, sometimes you really don’t know who you are dating and what motivates
    them. But you can check them out if you want for free. It’s not hard to Google
    someone or whatever and see what they have been up to. Most of the time, it’s
    nothing, but it’s that once in a thousand change that there is. And if there is,
    wouldn’t you like to know? Me too 🙂

  • You know, sometimes you really don’t know who you are dating and what motivates them. But you can check them out if you want for free. It’s not hard to Google someone or whatever and see what they have been up to. Most of the time, it’s nothing, but it’s that once in a thousand change that there is. And if there is, wouldn’t you like to know? Me too :)You know, sometimes you really don’t know who you are dating and what motivates them. But you can check them out if you want for free. It’s not hard to Google someone or whatever and see what they have been up to. Most of the time, it’s nothing, but it’s that once in a thousand change that there is. And if there is, wouldn’t you like to know? Me too 🙂

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