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Channeling My Inner ‘Chris Turk’.

The word ‘NO’ is not something my son hears very often. And that’s not because I spoil him, far from it. It’s mostly because he really doesn’t ask for very much. He does his homework, without me having to pester him. He cleans up after himself. He makes his own breakfast. And, he’s usually pretty helpful around the house. He even does his own laundry.

Sounds like a parent’s dream right?

Of course, like all teenagers, he certainly has his moments. Occasionally he will roll his eyes and he’s been known to cop an attitude. A few times he even tried talking back to me. But he quickly learned those moments don’t end very well for him.

In general, he’s a good kid. A really good kid. He’s confident, respectful, independent, and very funny. So when my son does ask for something, I usually just say, “Yes.”

Example:

“Mom, will you drive to me so-and-so’s house”
“Yes.”

“Mom, can I have a few friends over our house”
“Yes.”

“Mom, can I get this new guitar? It costs x amount of dollars, but I’m putting in half of my own money?”
“Yes.”

See. I almost always say, “Yes.”

Except for when I don’t.

Typically I only have to say, “No”, when my son asks for something outrageous. And when that happens?  I respond just as outrageously.

Case. In. Point.

“Mom, can I pierce my ear?”
“No. That’s not gunna happen.”

“Mom, can I get a tattoo?”
“Nope. Not gunna happen.”

“Mom, can I have $1,500.00 for a Gibson Les Paul guitar?”
*Dead.Silence.

And that my friends, is precisely when I channel my ‘Inner Chris Turk’.

First, I grab my tambourine.

[Yes people. Not only do I own a tambourine, but I have been known to tambour with the best of them.]

And then, I transform into a Black Man while singing this:

Honestly, boys and girls. I’ve found this to be the most effective way of saying, “No”.

Yes?

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