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CHANGE?

Is not something I welcome. Specifically when it is a change that I am being forced to make. I am trying to get a handle on a grasping a positive attitude, but I am really struggling right now.

You see, we had to make some temporary changes in my office. As such, after 6 years of sitting at the same desk, doing the same job, with the same people, I have been moved to another department. One that I am totally unfamiliar with. On a different floor. With different co-workers. And even a different coffee maker. I feel lost and confused having been removed from my element. I even broke down and cried this morning.

In fact I am crying at my ‘new’ desk Right. Now.

I am not supposed to write about work, especially while I am at work, but it’s my lunch hour. Since I am desperately trying to find a way to feel better about this sudden unwanted change and I am searching for a way to get though this transition, the only way I know how to deal with stress and tension is to write about it.

What I dislike the most, is the not knowing what I am doing. I am afraid I am going to make mistakes. Mistakes that could cost my company money. I know that I can ask as many questions as I need to. I know that I have people I can trust that will support and help me with the tasks I do not understand. But this is still, well, scary.

I am doing my best to be a Team Player. I feel that I owe it to my boss to at least give this new position a shot. After all, my company has made many exceptions and given me the ‘special treatment’ on several occasions. But, um, I am not exactly cut out for “Customer Service”.

I keep telling myself this is only temporary. But, I am not very clear on the definition of ‘Temporary’. And, I certainly don’t think I will be able to keep this up for 6 months.

I keep telling myself this is an opportunity to learn something new, but all I want to do is run for the front door screaming. The idea of working at the CVS across the street from my house has never looked better. Except that I am not a teenager. And I can not simply run away. I am a grown up with real responsibilities, and real medical issues, which require having things like Health Benefits, and holding a Real Job.

I am hopeful that with time, I will adjust to this? I am hoping that since this is my 1st day trying something totally foreign, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed? I am hoping eventually I won’t feel like hiding underneath my desk or cowering away from fellow employees with my shoulders slouched inwards hump back style.

Because right now, I am absolutely miserable.

However, Thanks to my mom for this laugh below.


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  • Meleah

    Jay:
    Sweeeeeeeet I can use a Tag as a nice distraction from my current nightmare!

  • Don’t underestimate yourself – you would be an asset to any department. I know exactly how you feel though. I tend to panic when faced with new situations, particularly if I can’t do something straight away; and I dwell on the change all the time. I agree with Real Mother Hen – wait for a bit and see how you go. You KNOW you can do anything, remember that. I’m sure in a few weeks you’ll feel much more settled.

  • Meleah

    Selma:
    I hate – abhore – cant stand the “Not Knowing” what I am doing!

    Im sure I will LEARN and even be GREAT AT IT eventaully.

    The thing is…I dont want to.

    🙁

  • How are you feeling now?

  • Meleah

    RMH:
    Better. But, read the post above this one. That’s basically where my head it at right now.

  • Meleah these are totally normal feelings to have when things get shaken up. Give it a chance. It sounds like it’s not a step down or anything so just ease into it. You’ll be fine. But not knowing what’s going on is daunting. But you’ll get it in time. Actually you’ll be doing the job in your sleep.

  • Meleah

    Thanks Ricardo! You Rock!
    xxoo
    🙂

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