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Breast Implants

An Interview with Meleah: By Ricardo from the blog Unloaded.

Ricardo is a dear friend of mine and long time reader of this bog. He was working on a few blog posts about the female body and the decision to undergo breast augmentation. For the most part, I have always been up front and honest about my own ‘boob job’. Ricardo asked if I would be so kind and participate by providing answers to some ‘interview’ questions for him.

After a lot of deliberation and plenty of self doubt as to weather or not I would EVER post this on my OWN blog because:

A) I was VERY worried about the possibility of people in my office reading this blog post. I was SUPER concerned about anyone in general from my current industry reading this.

B) I was TOTALLY apprehensive over putting THIS MUCH PERSONAL INFORMATION about myself out here on The Internet for ‘All The World’ to see.

And,

C) I was troubled as to how The Internet may or may not react to this kind of post.

And yanno what?

I have decided that I do not have anything to be ashamed of.

I am going to post my personal experience with Cosmetic Surgery because:

1) THIS POST was absolutely hysterical. Jillian reminded me that women readers will understand what I am about to share. She has made me feel safe enough to broach the topic of breasts.

2) I have already posted some photos of myself in a rather compromising position this post is probably less humiliating.

And,

3) I am still mid-construction of two drafts that are not ready to be posted. I have nothing else in my dashboard to publish, other than this.

So…

Welcome to my ‘AUGMENTATION NATION’ and ‘TOO MUCH INFORMATION’ Interview.

1. What made you want to get a boob job?

Well, that’s quite a bold question. I’m not sure that I WANTED to get a boob job; as much as I am sure I HAD TO get a boob job. Either way, I am happy to share The Reasons Why I decided to have cosmetic surgery with you.

Once upon a time, I had regular breast. My boobs were nothing special, but they weren’t terrible either. I was slightly self conscious because my right breast being a little larger than the left. However, that was not particularly noticeable to anyone other than me.

When I was about 18, I became increasingly aware of other women’s bodies and their physical attributes. Considering the environment I was working in at that time, it was pretty hard Not To Notice. Nevertheless, I maintained my natural physic.

It wasn’t until after I had my child, when I became profoundly depressed over the damage I caused my body. You see, I was 103 pounds, with a small B cup, and 20 years old when I became pregnant. I delivered my son at 187 pounds, with double D cups, at 21 years old.

That’s a whole lot of weight gain, which inevitably resulted in massive skin stretching.

(Seriously, people. My stretch marks make me look like I am a survivor of ‘When Animals Attack’)

After 6 months, I had lost all of the ‘baby weight’. (80 pounds to be exact.) But, I was never so devastated. At 21 years old, I was left with unshapely, flat like pancakes, and sagging, hanging, lifeless breasts much like the old lady from the movie ‘There Is Something About Mary’. I joked about the state of my bosom by saying, “My boobs look like tennis balls at the bottom of a tube socks”. In all reality that is what they looked like.

As such, I became terribly self-conscious. I was riddled with shame and humiliation. I would not, and I could not, let anyone see them. Ever. I was way too embarrassed over the way my body looked. As soon as I took my top off, I went directly into covering them up with my hands as a standard position.

That made things extremely difficult romantically, because I wouldn’t let anyone see them, or touch them, or even look in the same direction as them. On the off chance I was intimate with someone; it was only under very specific conditions such as: the lights had to be off, preferably in the pitch black, no touching allowed, and my bra stayed on.

I wore a bra 24 hours a day. In fact, I wore TWO BRAS every day. I used every kind of lotion and tried every type of gimmick that is supposed to ‘naturally increase bust lines’ or remove stretch-marks, to no avail.

Eventually, I discovered that Victoria Secret carried a breast enhancement product that you could insert into your bra. They are flesh toned and look sort of like “Chicken Cutlets” and I loved them. I wore them all the time. Sometimes I even wore the Cutlets when I was romantically involved.

It wasn’t until long after I left the bar scene and entered into a different life when I was presented with the opportunity to undergo Breast Augmentation. I leapt at the chance.

After 9 years of torturing myself, feeling embarrassed, hiding my shame and the uncomfortable misery of wearing TWO BRAS every day … I would finally be free from all of that self-inflicted hatred about that part of my body. Finally I would be able to look at them, and look at myself, without feeling disgusted. It was the easiest decision I have ever made in my life.

2. Did the risks worry you at all? Or are they really just hyped up by the media to freak people out?

I was definitely concerned about the risks. You hear horror stories about bad boob jobs, because they are true.

I have first hand knowledge about tragic events such as “When Boob Jobs Go Wrong” because of where I worked. I saw some fantastic before and after boob jobs and I saw some seriously detrimental before and after boob jobs. I was terrified to end up as one of the girls from surgeries gone awry.

Side Bar: When considering breast implants, it’s really all about the doctor. It is of utmost importance to find a good doctor, the right doctor, talk with the other women who have previously been to that doctor, and ask a lot of questions. If the doctor gets annoyed by all of your questions, you are with the Wrong Doctor.

3. Were you treated differently after the boob job?

I treated myself differently afterwards.

4. Were you given grief by friends and family?

Absolutely not.

My mother completely supported my decision. She stated that if her breasts had looked like mine (pre-surgical) she would have done the same exact thing. In fact, she is the one that pointed out this was “Corrective” surgery NOTElective” surgery.

5. Did the operation hurt and how long before you recovered?

Well, I had TWO surgeries. (Because I am a stubborn asshole.)

The first time I went to have my procedure, the doctor suggested I go from my floppy A cup all the way to a full D cup. I told him there was no way I wanted to be a D cup. I am an insurance professional, not a porn star and I did not want to walk around my office with flotation devices attached to my chest. He explained to me in numerous ways, that I needed to fill up the loose skin, in order to fix the horrendous sagginess that was part of my ugly boob situation. Yet, I remained firm with my decision to only go to a C cup. Begrudgingly, the doctor complied with my wishes.

The surgery went well and I went home the same day with a wonderful device attached to me. This device distributed Novocain in a steady stream via catheters to each breast 24 hours a day for 3 days. I didn’t feel an ounce of pain. Not. Even. A. Little.

One week later I went back to the doctor. The cathedra was removed and the bandages came off. Much to my surprise my breasts were even prettier than I had ever imagined possible. They were perfectly symmetrical and full. They were not too rounded, or shaped like a disks. I hate that look. You know that look. It’s like someone took a grapefruit, cut it in half and super glued them to their body. I was amazed with how ‘real’ my boobs looked. I was thrilled with the fact they moved with me, rather than sitting frozen solid or rock hard. Even with all of the swelling they were still very soft to the touch.

[When my doctor took the ‘AFTER’ photo, it was a most liberating moment.]

Alas, a few weeks post-surgery, I had a severe panic attack. I thought my boobs had ‘broken’ and/or were leaking because they seemed to be deflating. I was seriously scared. And I didn’t know what to do. I called the doctor immediately. The decrease in size was simply due to the swelling going down. That’s when I realized what the doctor had been trying to warn / tell me on all of my earlier visits.

2 or 3 months after my first surgery, just as my doctor had predicted, I had soccer balls (which beat tennis balls) at the bottom of a tube socks – for boobs. The dreaded saggy-droopy-ness was back. I had two options at that point. 1. Have a Breast Lift- a very painful surgical procedure which leaves hellashish scars on your body. (The last thing my body needs is more scarring.) 2. Go to a bigger size implant.

Teary eyed, I returned to my doctor pleading for his help to rectify my own mistake. “Okay, Okay. I see now what you have been trying to tell me. Let’s go to a Full D Cup.”

And that’s just what we did.

My second surgery went as smoothly as the first one. In fact it was even easier than the first one. The ‘pocket’ where the implant belongs was already formed, and since I was merely changing the size of the bag the 2nd procedure took only 24 hours ‘recovery time’ before I was back at my desk.

6. Would you recommend other women to get one if they were thinking about it?

Honestly, that depends on each individual woman, and her specific circumstances. Do I think getting a ‘boob job’ strictly for vanity purposes is all together healthy? No.

It also depends on the expectations the potential candidate has about the final outcome. Most good doctors will also request a complete psychological evaluation prior to engaging plastic surgery. They need to make sure the candidate is being realistic and not going through these measures for attention seeking behavior purposes.

I will say, without any hesitation, that my choice was the right choice, for me.

$10,000.00 and four years later, I am still ‘In Love’ with the final result. I am confident and comfortable in my own skin. And it sure is nice to fill out a dress properly.

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  • Thanks for sharing your story.

  • Meleah

    Marsha:
    THANK YOU. I am a little UNEASY having this posted.

    *biting off finger nails waiting for internet response*

  • CBG

    Ok where to begin on this one. As your friend / boyfriend (at these times)
    I remember all the insecurities and defense mechanisms that you created to temporarily solve this problem. Or hide this problem. Ex. Chicken Cutlets (which made me laugh my ass off because I totally remember them)I think you made an important point, If its something you felt strongly about(which I know you did, We had several midnight discussions about it) than take care of it. Which you did. I’m happy that you feel better about yourself because of this procedure. Never regret it or be ashamed about it.

  • You are a brave woman Meleah. When I grow up, I wanna be brave like you. Thank you for sharing a personal part of your life.

  • i would love to get boobs and i noticed your breast and envied them. i have “unshapely, flat like pancakes, and sagging, hanging, lifeless breasts”. i have other skills, so i let it go.

    i’m not paying $5,000-$10,000 to get them done now. I’m closer to the other side at this point in age.

    hey no shame in this story, it’s kind of the norm now. several people at my job had theirs done, a friend of mine as well. i do need to fill out my shirts or either wear tighter shirts to make them look bigger or padded bras.

    i get by but wouldn’t mind a lift.

  • this was great.. i knew of course,, but i had always thought you got them while you were “working”… you know job security and all that…. i cannot imagine being so distressed about any area of my body,, but i know if i found myself in that position,, i would absolutely get a real job and save some money and get them done… no questions asked…..
    so now all i wanna know is when you gonna post are the before and after pix????LOL!!!!

  • Meleah,

    Good for you for posting this. I’m proud of you for doing so. Never feel ashamed about the decisions you make for yourself. Our bodies are our temples, right? We must feel comfortable in our own skin!

    If I had more time in the world I’d love to have a blog where I would just write, write, write but since I can barely keep my head above water with my job and my photography work and blog I’ll have to reply on stopping by here in the mornings for a few minutes and reading what you have blog about!

    When are you, Fanny & I getting together for a girls night? Fanny can make me more of her homemade amaretto sours again and we can all talk over each other!!!! LOL! 🙂

  • Meleah

    CBG:
    Yes. You WERE there. For all of it. You know how tortured I was over that part of my body. You personally witnessed days, weeks, months and YEARS of the crying, the misery, the NO Touching Allowed, self-loathing, and who could forget the Chicken Cutlets!
    Thank you for you wonderful comment.
    xxoo
    🙂

    Dazd:
    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

    Valerie:
    Thanks for your support. This was weird for me to publish. I couldn’t LIVE with myself. I tried for 9 YEARS to deal with my pancakes. I was MISERABLE. For me, it was worth every single penny.

    Paisley:
    These have never been inside of a strip club. Ironic Right! I thought about posting before and after pics, but I dont have any BEFORE pictures. No one was allowed to see them. Not even myself!

  • Meleah

    Jen Weaver / Rinaldi:
    Thank you SOOO much for your most awesome and ever so supportive comment.

    I am glad / proud / honored to have you visit my blog daily!

    I wish I had more time to WRITE WRITE WRITE…this damn Day Job gets in the way of everything good!

    Oh hell yes, the three of us need to hook up again soon. We had so much fun the last time…even if we were talking all over each other. 🙂
    And I need to hear all of the UPDATES from you.

  • You’re my hero.

    I love that you shared all of the emotion and insecurity that went into this decision. It’s obviously not something you did on a whim and by telling your story, you give other women the confidence to make the choice that’s right for them.

  • Your deepest insecurities end up being your biggest badges of courage because you HAVE to find a way to overcome them….

    On the BOOB topic…years ago, I would have probably gone for a breast reduction. I developed at an early age and they made me feel HORRIBLY insecure. As an adult I fully appreciate my big beautiful mammaries ….but the effects of being the only developed gal in the 5th- 6th grade left their psychological mark, ya’ know?

    You look HOT, and that’s all that counts!!

  • TWO bras every day?!? Yikes! Great post Meleah…thanks for sharing! 🙂

  • Meleah

    Terri:
    “You’re my hero.”

    Aw.You are making me tear up! Thank you darling. This was HARD to post publically. I sincerely hope this post helps any woman going through what I went through.

    SomeGirl:
    I can’t even imagine what it must have been like to have boobs in the 5th-6th grade. I prayed for boobs back then!

    “You look HOT, and that’s all that counts!!”

    You are making me blush.

    Olga:
    Yes. 2 Bras EVERY DAY – for 9 Years.
    (Just ask Danny – CBG. he knows all about it).
    Oh well. At least NOW I have the pleasure of wearing a wonderful bra (like YOU).
    xxoo

  • Jay

    Absolutely no need to be ashamed – that took courage! Both the decision to have the op(s) and to post the blog! Kudos to you!

    I’ve never had to consider enhancement. I’ve often considered a tummy tuck, but basically am just psychologically damaged enough to go through with it.

  • Jennifer

    filling out dresses properly is key!! hahhha

  • Meleah

    Jay:
    Thank You. It really did take courage to do both! Tummy Tucks are CRAZY. They take forever to recover from, and sometimes, you will be left with OUT a belly button!

    Jen:
    True. Dat.

  • Lee

    I am not a perfect person. The reason I know that is because I’m fighting with myself not to go to the Dark Side and make tasteless jokes.

    Just kidding. Thanks for sharing on so personal a level. You truly are an example of what it means to openly share your life through blogging. With all the crap you’ve been through the past couple of month…details shared here without hesitation…to go even deeper into the personal stuff is remarkable. I love you and your openness. xxoo

  • Lee

    Oh, I should have read your comments before hitting the submit button. Because of the surgery I had to address the complications from my gastric bypass, I don’t have a belly button any more. Just a big surgical scar.

    I’m not sure, but this probably qualifies as TOO MUCH INFORMATION.

  • Meleah, this is what boob jobs are for. I would have got one too if I was faced with that dilemma. My boobs are indestructible cause having a kid didn’t affect them at all. They’ve always been big and I was actually considering a reduction at one time because its hard to find clothes that fit right.

    I applaud you for your openness but you are always open, girlfriend!

  • I don’t see why anyone could fault your decision; it is not like you were simply doing it for the attention. In your case it was a cosmetic decision, the same as a woman who has had to have a mastectomy, and suffers from a self-image problem as a consequence. The fact that you were able to summon the courage to share something this personal with us shows that your self-confidence has improved.
    Since it helped you feel better and more sure of yourself, it was the correct thing to do, in my personal opinion.

  • Meleah

    Lee:
    THANK YOU…THANK YOU…THANK YOU.
    Especially for the TMI. That makes me feel better.
    BTW: I was talking about Patricia Heaton’s tummy tuck in that comment.
    🙂
    I also have a scar across my tummy from Hip Bone to Hip Bone from 197 stitches to be exact!

    Barbara:
    Here’s to your Indestructible Boobs!! Its nice to know you would have done the same thing. That makes me feel a whole lot LESS vain!
    xxoo

    Bob G:
    Hey you! Nice to see you again. Thanks for your lovely comment. I think my mother said it best when she said I was having CORRECTIVE SURGERY rather than ELECTIVE SURGERY.

    “The fact that you were able to summon the courage to share something this personal with us shows that your self-confidence has improved.”

    Thats TRUE! Thanks for pointing that out to me.
    🙂

  • cmk

    Elective/corrective surgeries can be hard to explain to people–and we REALLY shouldn’t have to explain them to anyone! It’s OUR body for crying out loud! You did what you NEEDED to do–end of story. And good for you. (I know elective/corrective surgery–my hysterectomy was elective/corrective.)

    I don’t know if I could go through with breast implants–even though I need them. My boobs look like tube socks stuffed with a mile-high stack of pancakes. If/when I finally lose weight, my boobs will look like a couple of wet tube socks hanging from my chest. That’s why I don’t lose weight. 😀

    Sometimes I really hate my ancestors–genetics suck. 😉

  • My boobs are plenty big enough, but after pumping for two preemies, my girls could certainly use a lift. If I had the cash…there’s no question I’d do it!

  • Tiffany

    it figures you didn’t listen to the doctor. thick skull!!! i want lipo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Tiffany

    your boobs are gonna turn heads in punta cana in SIX DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!YIPEEEEEEEEEE

  • Tiffany

    i love weaver…i just read her comment. isn’t she the greatest sweetest honest best friend in the whole world???

  • Awww…Tiff. I love you! 🙂 And Meleah ~rocks~ too!
    Damn, I should be in Punta Cana w/ you both!

  • Meleah

    CMK:
    THANK YOU!
    I hated my pancake tube sock boobs too!

    Momo:
    Aw. I heard having a lift is sort of tragic?

    Fanny:
    You will have lipo one day woman. And I cant believe we are leaving in 6 days. 6 days. Holy Hell. Weaver/Rinaldi is super cool. I am a FAN.

    Rinaldi:
    Oh man…I wish you were coming to the DR with us! Oh well, you will just have to come with us for the Girls Only (No Kids) vacation! WHEEEEE

  • I want to say THANK YOU for posting this because it has helped me think seriously about getting a boob job. I think you’ve seen my poem Ode to My Boobs…well, let’s just say that I can totally relate to the “tennis balls at the bottom of a tube socks” description. I haven’t even considered it seriously because I’m a whimp, really. After reading this, I think I may actually make an appointment for a consultation. So, kudos to you for posting this and for being proud of your boob job. Maybe someday I will be proud of my very own boob job too! 😉

  • Your story is convincing. I’ve always thought it was no one’s business but the woman’s whether to get a boob job or not. But I never personally thought it was a good idea. Now I do think it’s a good idea in circumstances like yours. Way to change minds, Meleah!

  • In my work, I used to see so many bad boob-jobs or women who had the surgery, came out with nice boobs and were still miserable because they just moved on to obsess over the next ‘imperfection’ about themselves.

    I am so happy that YOU are happy with your decision, because honestly, that is all that matters and I hope you and your boobs live long and prosper *giggles*!! 🙂

  • Meleah

    Random Chick:
    I do know that poem of your very well, and I absolutely *Love* it fully.
    I cant believe this post has inspired you that way.
    *flattered and blushing*
    In fact, If you have ANY questions AT ALL, please EMAIL ME, I will be more than happy to tell you any and everything regarding the process. I am HERE if you need it!
    I check my emails 50 billion times a day
    In fact I am sending YOU an email right now!!
    xxoo

    Paul:
    See, not ALL bob jobs are about LOOK AT ME, or sheer vanity. There are real psychological issues. Glad I was able to open your mind.

    Chelle B:
    Girl, YOUR BLOG is off the chain funny, You crack me up.
    I know those girls, and I cant with all that.
    I hope my boobs live long too. But just in case they don’t, I have them INSURED.

  • That’s a great interview.. I loved reading it and I think you rule for posting it.

  • What an excellent account of your reasons for having the surgery. Thank you for sharing this. Now that I am in my 40s my boobs are practically dragging on the floor and it would be nice to have them all perky and saying hello again. But I am such a wimp about surgery of any kind that I know I’ll do nothing about it. I am so glad you had the courage to do it. There is a common misconception out there that most women get boob jobs for vanity reasons. Your story will help change that. I am so glad it made you feel better about yourself and that you had no side-effects from the surgery (another one of my fears.) Good on you, Meleah. This post will have helped many people.

  • I think it’s a really brave thing… you having the guts write about this and sharing it with everyone. 🙂

  • Two thumbs up for you Meleah. That was a brave thing to do. I doubt if I’d have the courage to post something like that and you have my utmost respect …

  • Meleah

    Tesco:
    Thanks. And I think you rule.

    Selma:
    Thank you darling. I know this post was worth sharing simply because of RANDOM CHICKS comment. Plastic Surgery has a negative connotation attached to it and I think people don’t always understand the REASONS behind the decision to undergo such measures. Look at Paul’s comment. I think this post was necessary!

    Rozella:
    Well, this is a Personal Blog. doesn’t get more personal than that!!

    Nick:
    Thank you. I am humbled by your comment

  • Thank you for sharing your story. You have not to be embarrassed about. They are questions that I have always wondered about implants. I give you tons of kudos for sharing your story. I still love ya and don’t look at you any differently!!!!

  • Jay

    Oops – I meant to say I’m NOT psychologically damaged enough to go through with it ..

    “Tummy Tucks are CRAZY. They take forever to recover from, and sometimes, you will be left with OUT a belly button!”

    …and yeah. That’s why. Basically I’m a coward and there’s the frying pan and fire thing. You do have courage, and I’m glad that it paid off so well for you!

  • I know a couple of women who have had this done after having a baby.
    Their stretch marks were pretty bad and greatly affected their self esteem… I guess it depends on weight gain and skin tone.

  • Meleah

    Chef Mom:
    Thank you. Glad to hear that you do NOT think I am so vain lunatic!
    xxoo

    Jay:
    Mucho Thanks To You.
    🙂

    Dawn:
    People are finally talking about Post Pardom Depression, but rarely do people talk about the damaging effects having a baby can have on one’s body. I was psychologically ruined by the stretch marks and my breasts. For NINE years. Im glad to have some of the issues resolved!

  • Girl, I did it and never looked back. Sometimes these things can make all the difference in the world.

    Good for you!

  • This is one of those authentic articles that ‘intimidate’ leaving a comment to – by sharing your personal experiences in such way (the writing, the style, the openness), there is something of a valuable lesson on life taught to all who read them. My $0.000000000002 worth. Amazing…

  • Lee

    I missed a comment above before I posted. I quote:
    “I thought about posting before and after pics, but I dont have any BEFORE pictures. No one was allowed to see them.”

    Does that mean there are after pictures? Where’s the Flick link for those photos? 😀

  • I totally understand your doing whatever you needed to to feel better about yourself. Its only when we do feel comfortable with ourselves – whatever that means to whomever – that we are able to fully relax into our potential.

    Meleah, you are an absolutely beautiful woman, physically, but even more engaging is the beauty in you that threads itself throughout your posts and comments. …and the two combined make for a luminous presence literally and figuratively.

  • Diva:
    Excellent!

    ROG:
    Well, I can’t call this a personal blog, if I am not ‘personal’.

    Lee:
    Oh they are there. They are just hard to find. There are photos on flickr…have fun…searching for them.

    HollyGL:
    Okay. way to make me cry. All of my fears and concerns and reservations about posting something like this have been erased by YOUR comment.
    THANK YOU.
    I love you.
    Have I mentioned how happy/trilled/ relieved/ stoked/excited you are BACK to blogging?

  • You are a very brave and beautiful woman and I’m proud of you for posting this. I could tell it was making you anxious in worry…wondering what the end result would be. I think your experience will definitely help others out there with this problem. I know women that have had horror stories from augmentation, and on the flip side I’ve known others that have had wonderful experiences.

    Yay for you for your honesty and openess to share!

  • I saw this at Ricardo’s blog, and was led there by a link from MsQ … now an interview with you! The story lives on – great answers Meleah 😉

  • wow…the honesty and ability to be this OPEN about something so private. This 1 post puts you in a very classy category woman! Very Classy.

    Heather

  • Wow, this was a great story! I’m so glad you shared and that *I* (Ahem) had a little something to do with it. If you’re happy with YOU then I think you made the right decision as well.

    Way to go.

    As always… LOVE your honesty!

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