Another FIRST

Can you guess what I have NEVER done before?

IRON ……anything……

Guess what I am trying to do right now?

IRONING, a shirt for my son, who has to be dressed as Bill Gates for his school project.

According to JCH, “This is BREAKING NEWS, breaking news that needs to be blogged mom.”

So, here it is, Me and an Iron:

You have to place the wrinkled mess on a HARD surface:

Because you CAN NOT IRON a shirt ON THE RUG:

Okay! So, I just found that out.

Back to the wrinkled mess on a hard surface:

My attempt with a hot steaming metal object that has the very strong potential to burn people and things:

I dont understand? WHY? Won’t the shirt stay flat?
(I can’t believe I am doing this.)

FINALLY! Shirt=Flat.
(I can’t believe I am happy about the fact that a shirt, is flat.)

Making progress here!
(Why? Am I so impressed with myself? People do this everyday.)

Looking good.
(Really I have no business being this happy about being able to iron something.)

Now, the collar? How? Do I make the collar iron-able? Sh*t! It’s all bended. How do I get in there?

Oh! Like that!

Try and stop me now! This is great! I should do this more. This is much more productive and effective than throwing damp clothes into the dryer, sitting around waiting, with my fingers crossed, making broken promises to g-d, that the clothes will come out of the dryer and magicaly resemble ironed looking clothes… Screw that! I CAN IRON!

Dood!….. NO WRINKLES!

No one was INJURED, or BURNED.

JCH is a HAPPY man. Now, he won’t get his ass kicked by the other kids for looking disheveled

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9 Responses to Another FIRST

  1. THEQUEENOFPERSIAâ„¢ says:

    I have been trying to tell you about the joy of ironed clothes for years.

    Thank God you see this now!

  2. Oh yeah, it's Mr. Francisco to you says:

    Wow!!

    mmm can I hire you to iron my shirts???
    How much are you going to charge me??

    Nice job Meleah!!

    Yayy!!

    FV

  3. meleah rebeccah says:

    jen, i had no idea how great ironed clothes looked and felt! i just may iron my own things one day

  4. meleah rebeccah says:

    FV….

    $20.00 AN ITEM!

    and I can not guarantee to safety of your clothes while in my care, custody and control, nor can I promise they wont be forever ruined if I screw things up with the iron. i.e….permanent burn marks on your clothes

  5. Leslie says:

    I am DYING laughing at the mental image of you ironing. That is some domestic goddess bullshit right there! LOL You go Melz!

    xoxo

  6. meleah rebeccah says:

    ha ha ha Leslie!

    You have NO IDEA… It was hard to IRON, it was a real STRUGGLE…

    Shit, you have known me since I was 13! You know I don’t IRON things!

    But I felt so “accomplished” when it was done!
    I might IRON my own stuff one day…

    “domestic goddess bullshit” is hysterical

    I love you!

  7. harry says:

    As I was reading this you just reminded me that I have to go drop off my dry cleaning so I have it for my other job tommorrow lol!
    The other job I have not worked at since January 5th and they called me in to work for 2 hours tommorrow afternoon!
    Screw ironing I am going to the friendly asian people down the street!
    BTW I can tell you have never used that nice chromy shiny iron lol!
    Good job though!

    JCH should be proud of ole mom!

    🙂

  8. meleah rebeccah says:

    harry!

    Yeay! My nonsense made you think of dry cleaning! I’m glad someone benefits from my drivel!

    Dooooooooooood

    I had NO IDEA what I was doing. It is AMAZING that I ironed something

    Someone told me TODAY…

    “did you know you needed to put something UNDERNEATH the shirt IN-BETEWEEN the counter?”

    “how did you NOT burn your counter top?”

    I have no idea how it al worked out, I’m just glad it did

    Note to self… BUY IRONING BOARD..shit now I have 76 THINGS to do this weekend!

  9. Anonymous says:

    I STILL DON’T EVEN OWN AN IRON
    XOXOXOX
    OLLY

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