Irritated Being Single

I love my sister in law Maya. I mean I love her. She wants nothing more than for me to DATE, get lucky, and fall in love. She knows how I feel about online dating and she knows I never really get out of the house to “troll for men.” She also knows that I am super self conscious (and not about my looks, but about my medical condition Crohn’s disease).

Long story short, she sent me an email today.

“mel–i read about this in newsweek and thought of you–it is no joke! maybe you could find your perfect match!!!”

See THIS NEW online dating website.

Oh Maya, that was very sweet of you, but I don’t want my dating life, or my future to end up like THIS!

About Meleah

Mother. Writer. Television Junkie. Pajama Jean Enthusiast.
This entry was posted in Dating, Strong Medicine. Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to Irritated Being Single

  1. radu says:

    came along from macOSxhints and thought of reading your posts… and watched the “***spoiler***” movie. Really funny! I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before.

  2. Why would someone think that mixing “bowel” and “dating” is a genius idea??

  3. Meleah says:

    RADU:
    Hey. Thanks for dropping by. Im glad your first visit over here made you laugh.

    JASON:
    I have NO idea.

  4. paisley says:

    this is soooo funny.. i know what you must be going thru as i have had two close friends over the years with crones.. one a female and one a male…it isn’t fun… but i think investing in a partner that has the same thing is really quite comical… you can imagine some of the visuals going on in my head right now!!!!!!

    dating sucks… i quit…

  5. Meleah says:

    NG:
    No shit!

    PAISLEY:
    HA HA HA HA HA … yeah I would hate to spend a “date night” trapped in my own house, with both parties locked in their own perspective bathrooms communicating via walkie talkie…

  6. That video is so GREAT!!!!! I fell off my chair laughing so hard hahaha πŸ™‚
    And your comment about communicating via walkie talkie is really funny too! And yes I can imagine that Meleah!!!!

  7. JENNIFER says:

    thats funny dood.
    good one.

  8. HollyGL says:

    You gotta love your sister in law.

    As you know, I have had less than zero success with the whole online dating thing. So much of who you end up with is about chemistry – not just sexual, but compatibility in other ways – that can only be gaged in person. You’ll find him (or he’ll find you), but it will probably be when you least expect it. Trite, I know, but probably the most likely scenario. xxoo

  9. Becky says:

    I really think if I “was in the market” I would consider an online dating service. It sure makes a lot more sense than the bar scene.

    As we have all discovered, online you really can learn quite a bit about a person. So much more than the traditonal dating thing.

    Gosh, I sometimes get a crush just reading a few blogs a person has written.

    Even my Mom is a supporter of this. One of her old freiends connected with someone this way (it was on some Catholic dating board).

    But as Holly says she has had no success, so I guess there are no guarantees. But it might pay to cruise the various dating services. I know someone who did eHarmony (which would really suck for me since they won’t hook up lesbians)–and had no luck. But she changed to a different company (and I can not recall the name) and it was magical.
    ~Becky

  10. Devin says:

    Im sure there are forums and such out there for dating people with crones but a website is a bit over the top. Then again I had the hardest time finding a partner for me until I finally came across a site that finally fulfilled my needs.

  11. Becky says:

    oh and the medical condition might hold you back, but your looks–no fucking way:)

    ~Becky

  12. Meleah says:

    RMH:
    I love making you laugh!

    JEN
    πŸ™‚

    HOLLY:
    Oh I do. I love her for never giving up and always wishing / wanting me to have what she has. she is tooo cute. I agree that online “dating” is IMPOSSIBLE to know what your really getting into. I am a meet “in person” kinda gal myself. But that requires I leave me house, which isn’t too often!
    BECKY:
    Thank you for the compliment, and I am anti-online only because I have had BAD experiences mostly they turn out to be LIARS, but same as you…. I have “crushes” on some of the bloggers I read.

    DEVIN:
    As always-thanks for the laugh!

  13. It’s really plumbing the bowels of good taste isn’t it!
    Flushing without the blushing.
    It gives a whole new meaning to the term “you move me”…

    Beautiful..
    I’ll talk to my husband about it…

    PS: My uber chic friend has the very same condition darling..
    It is horrible, yes, but you are NOT!!
    You are absolutely delicious and need to be out there getting some man action, darling.
    Don’t let it deter you, gorgeous girl xxx

  14. Ricardo says:

    LOL! I remember that snl skit! Priceless. About the CrohnÒ€ℒs disease, don’t sweat it. If he’s going to leave you over something like that then it was never meant to be. There are plenty of men who are not going to ditch you because of something like that. Don’t let that stuff ruin your dating life.

  15. Goldy says:

    First off… Beck yand Mel thanks for admitting to your crushes on me… I was wondering when that was going to come out.

    As far as online dating… I missed the whole craze… first I was overseas and then I got married. I’m kind of sad about it actually as it seems kind of fun. My sister just used e-harmony and it turned out to be successful.

  16. Michael C says:

    Everything I was planning on writing went out the window when I saw the SNL love toilet sketch. Gosh, how I love that show and miss that particular cast!!

  17. Geedos says:

    It’s definitely a niche market that’s for sure! I’m just thinking of all the other offshoots you could generate here – dating based on shared medical conditions! The possibilities are endless!

    By the way I had no idea women leave the house to “troll for men”!?!? Exactly what this entails intrigues me! I’ve got comedy visions of men sprinting down the street away from hordes of excessively keen “trollers” doing their best to chase them down! πŸ™‚

  18. Meleah says:

    MINKS:
    HA “You move me!” Cracked me up! Thanks for the laugh and thank you for the compliments…(coming from a stunning lady such as yourself means so much to me)

    RICARDO:
    Love SNL (back then)

    GOLDY:
    Damn, You’re on to me! I’m busted now that my crush on you has been revealed. BTW, you are lucky you missed the “online” dating scene!

    MICHAEL C:
    Mee too. That cast was (in my opinion) THE best SNL cast of all times.

    GEEDOS:
    Hmm… I never thought of a medical dating niche…there really are ENDLESS possibilities! As far as TROLLING FOR MEN: well, it’s pretty much like you described. Its basically over (or under) dressing, with too many shiny accessories, and being overly “made up” to go OUT on the prowl, obviously trying to get “picked up”… yeah, like I said in my post, I dont DO that.

  19. Exposed says:

    I hear you, girl, it’s a tough dating world. But, if there’s one thing you learn it’s that EVERYONE has got problems, and at least you get to hide yours behind a locked door and flush them away when finished! Everyone is insecure about something, and to give you a little hope, one of my best high school friends with IBS just got engaged. Guys are willing to overlook just about anything on Earth for “the one”.

  20. MsRebecca says:

    I just posted this story on someone elses site this a.m.
    Read about my online dating experience!

    I did meet a guy years back; he insisted on meeting me after my aerobics class (which I thought odd) but was willing because I would be surrounded by people.. Well he showed up, he must have posted a pic online from his high school days, because he looked about 20 years older and 50 lbs heavier.. He also brought his son, who sat in the backseat of his car staring at us the entire time.. I talked with him briefly and there was a very distinct urine smell that was permeating from this guy, he went to shake my hand and was missing half of his fingers..Not that I have anything against missing digits, but I was a little surprised when met with half of a handshake! Needless to say, I mumbled some excuse about my mom calling me on my cell and peeled out of the parking lot like the Dukes of Hazzard.. The whole scene was priceless.. Needless to say.. That was my first and last encounter!

  21. Meleah says:

    EXPOSED:
    Thanks for the vote of confidence!~

    MSREBECCA:
    Nice name (Rebeccah is my middle name) Where did you post about that dating website? And sorry to hear about that AWFUL “dating” saga. Sheesh. I thought I had it bad when some guy that COULD have been from the K K K showed up on a blind date.

  22. Clay says:

    I didn’t know it was appropriate to laugh at the web site. I realize the disease is difficult, but sweet baby Jesus is that one funny ass dating service.

  23. Meleah says:

    CLAY:
    Laugh away. I do. I have to laugh!

  24. FV says:

    Holy macaroni batman that’s some au de toilette loving!!!

    πŸ™‚

    FV

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