People Watching

I may or may not have mentioned before how much I love to people watch. It’s one of those things I find myself doing often. Sometimes I just make observations. And other times, I like to invent stories about the people I’ve been studying.

Though lately I fear I’ve become quite obsessed with two different neighbors and not in a good way. (As if there is a ‘good way’ for one to become obsessed with watching their neighbors.)

Case. In. Point.

The First Neighbor:

The First Neighbor, I would like to discuss lives two houses down on my block. Apparently, I’ve spent quite some time observing him. He is an older man and he lives alone. He keeps weird hours and I’ve never seen him with a woman, or a man, or any visitors whatsoever including family members for that matter.

I don’t find it all that strange when he comes home at three o’clock in the morning with the song, “I’m a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie World” blasting on his radio. And I don’t find it all that strange when he seemingly wears the ‘Same Clothes’ every single day.

So what has my utmost attention? Well, since I have been watching this man from my bedroom window over the last year and a half, I’ve noticed that I have never seen this man put out a single trashcan. Ever.

In our complex every Tuesday & Thursday is ‘Garbage Day’. And every Wednesday & Friday is ‘Recycling Day’. Every other household on my block puts out at least ONE trashcan on any of those given days.

Except for this guy.

So. WHERE IS ALL OF HIS GARBAGE? And. What is he doing with his trash?

It’s not like we live in an area or on a street where he can burn his rubbish. He drives a Brand-New Shiny-Black Mercedes so it’s hard to imagine him loading his vehicle and transporting his waste elsewhere. Moreover why would anyone need or want to do that?

Seriously people. I need to know what this guy does with his garbage.  Do ya’ll have any ideas?

The Second Neighbor:

The Second Neighbor I would like to discuss isn’t even really a neighbor. In fact, it’s a “Couple” that doesn’t even live within my complex. And I am using the term “Couple” loosely, because quite frankly, I don’t know if they really ARE a “Couple”. I suppose that would have to depend on YOUR definition of the term “Couple”.

I have not only observed these two people, but I’ve let my imagination run wild, subsequently inventing several stories about them. And here’s why…

For the last TWELVE CONSECUTIVE YEARS, once a week, every week, at the same exact time, WITHOUT FAIL, a woman in a white car pulls into the parking lot and moments later a man driving a white SUV pulls into the parking lot next to her.

He gets out of his car and he walks over to her car. He opens her car door, helps her out, and then he passionately kisses her. They walk together to his car, they get in, and they drive away together.

THREE HOURS LATER, they return together in his car. He gets out and he walks around his car. He opens her door, helps her out and kisses her passionately. Then, he opens her car door, she gets back into her own car, and they drive away in separate directions.

I have constantly wondered….

Is she married and having an affair with him? Is he married and having an affair with her? Are they BOTH married and having an affair with each other? And if so, where do they tell their spouses they are going? If they are not having an affair, are they married to each other and playing a game of ‘Cat and Mouse’ to keep things spicy? Are they Secret Agents? Where do they go for those Three Hours? Why do they always meet in the Same Place? And how much longer can this go on?

It’s gotten to the point where I am almost ready to confront them interrogation style. But instead, I think I this time next year, I might just give them a ‘Happy 13^th Anniversary Card’? Because any two people who have managed to maintain meeting up with each other At The Same Bat-Time, In The Same Bat-Place, for this many years in a row deserve some kind of acknowledgement.

What do YOU think they are up to?