Momma Mia, Mea Culpa

[Week Five: March 1st - 5th]

* For those of you who are NEW to ‘Doing Things Differently™’ or NEW to reading this blog, may I suggest you click on, and read, the links provided in the first paragraph of this post? I think that might clear up any confusion!

Onward.

Once Upon A Time, A Girl Named Meleah wanted to improve the ‘Quality Of Her Life’ so, she started ‘Doing Things Differently™’. And then she noticed the ‘Little Changes’ she made every day, had a huge impact on her life. And even though Meleah had a few ‘Setbacks’, she kept on forging ‘Ahead’.

Meleah realized that March 1st also landed on a Monday. And that not only meant it was a brand new week, but it was also a brand new month. And Meleah thinks anything is possible when you have a ‘Clean Slate’ like that. And therefore, she was going to use that opportunity to add something ‘New’ to her ‘Daily Morning Routine’.

So, Meleah woke up at 8am and she began ‘Day Twenty-Five’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ [D25/DTD]. Meleah put on her ‘Outfit’ and went ‘Outside’ with her mother. And they walked around the block, five times in a row, for the first day, for the fifth week in a row. As noted by the following ‘Video Footage.’

Yeah, um, did anyone happen to notice how Meleah ‘Tripped’ and then tried to act like that didn’t happen? Meleah’s best friend, Amy The Bartender thinks Meleah was merely ‘Off Balance’ because of her ‘Lack Of Cigarette.’

[Side Bar: With all of this ‘Cigarette Talk’ Meleah feels the need to mention to everyone that she is absolutely NOT trying to ‘Quit Smoking.’ She is not ready to begin ‘Doing Things Drastically’ even though she is ‘Doing Things Differently.’ [At least, not YET.] And, in all seriousness, if Meleah ever does decide to start ‘Doing Things Drastically’ she’s pretty sure she would rather wear ‘Lipstick’ and possibly even ‘High Heels’ before she considers giving up her Cool-Mentholated-Newport100-Moments.]

By the time Meleah came home from her morning walk, her self-generated-endorphins had kicked in. And she put that energy to ‘Good Use’ by doing 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’. And then she took things to ‘The Next Level’ by attempting to do 50 ‘Push-Ups’. And by Fifty ‘Push-Ups’ she really means NINE.

[Hey, a girl has to start somewhere.]

Later that evening, Meleah watched the ‘Season Finale’ of The ‘Bachelor’ and she can summarize that WHOLE experience with ONE statement posted by her friend Kat:

“ABC needs to rename this season: The Bachelor – On the (Fairy) Wings of Love [Not That There's Anything Wrong With That]”

Which probably explains why Jake chose Vienna. After all, she does look like a man.

Tuesday, otherwise known as ‘Day Twenty-Six’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ [D26/DTD] sharply began at 9am. Meleah put on her ‘Outfit’ and went ‘Outside’ and she walked around the block, five times in a row, for the second day in a row, for the fifth week in a row.

And, when she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did another 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and she did another 50 ‘Push-Ups’. And by Fifty ‘Push-Ups’ she really means TEN, for the second day in a row, for the first week in a row.

Meleah spent the ‘Rest Of The Day’ responsibly taking care of all her chores: cleaning, cooking, balancing the checkbook, paying the rent, doing the laundry, and making her daily ‘Internet Rounds’ all the while in her pajamas and watching a ‘Law & Order Marathon’ because Meleah firmly believes in being ‘Comfortable’ when being ‘Responsible.’

‘Day Twenty-Seven’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ [D27/DTD] otherwise known as Wednesday, once again began at 9am. Meleah put on her ‘Outfit’ and went ‘Outside’ and she walked around the block, five times in a row, for the third day in a row, for the fifth week in a row. And it was friggen freezing. Thankfully, it was not snowing, and thankfully it was not raining, but Meleah is pretty sure she may have lost some of her eyelashes when she had to remove the icicles hanging off of them.

And, when she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did another 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and she did another 50 ‘Push-Ups’. And by Fifty ‘Push-Ups’ she really means TEN, for the third day in a row, for the first week in a row.

Meleah decided to ‘Pamper Herself’ that afternoon, by giving herself a ‘Home Waxing and Home Facial’. She is happy to report this time, absolutely nothing went wrong. And that is nothing short of a miracle.

Later that evening, Meleah enjoyed some ‘Much Needed’ ‘Girl Time’ with two of her craziest and dearest friends of all. Nightingale and Fanny. Meleah and Tiffany played ‘dress up’ with hairpieces, while Nightingale waited for the color and the keratin treatment to soak in. Nightingale and Fanny amused Meleah while singing for the camera.

When she came home, Meleah thought about her friends, and fell asleep laughing.

Thursday, otherwise known as ‘Day Twenty-Eight’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ [D28/DTD] began sharply at 7am. Mostly because her son missed the bus and she had to drive him to school.

Meleah realized she was suffering from a ‘Severe Case’ of ‘Intolerable PMS’. And all she wanted to do when she got home was stay in bed, in her pajamas, watching sappy love stories, and sobbing until her tear ducts burst, while stuffing her face with ‘All Things Chocolate’.

But…

Because she is ‘Doing Things Differently’?

She didn’t.

Instead?

Meleah put on her ‘Outfit’ and went ‘Outside’ with her mom, and they walked around the block, five times in a row, for the fourth day in a row, for the fifth week in a row.

And when she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did another 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and she did another 50 ‘Push-Ups’. And by Fifty ‘Push-Ups’ she really means Ten, for the fourth day in a row, for the first week in a row.

That afternoon Meleah and got dressed in her ‘Big Girl Clothes’ and went to have lunch with her mother at KHCC to spend time with ATB. And, they reconnected with a long lost friend.

Friday, otherwise known as ‘Day Twenty-Nine’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or, [D29/DTD] didn’t get off to a very good start. In fact, Meleah was suffering from ‘The Worst Cramps EVER’ and she couldn’t even move. But for the fact that Meleah’s friend from ‘High School’ was flying in from California, Meleah probably would have never gotten out of bed at all.

Meleah spent the day anxiously awaiting ‘The Calls’ from her friend ‘Sarah Sunshine’ providing all of Sarah’s ‘Travel Details’. And after thirteen-different-gate-changes, and a five-hour-lay-over in Somewhere Arizona, Sarah was finally on her way to New Jersey.

Meleah is glad she is ‘Doing Things Differently’ because otherwise she would have never been brave enough to get on that ‘Whore Of A Highway’ and ‘In The Dark’ to drive all the way up to the ‘Newark Airport’ all by herself.

Meleah gave herself enough time full well knowing there would be a very good chance she would wind up driving aimlessly and terribly lost within the confines of the ever-so-confusing Newark Airport. Because that’s exactly what happened.

And after circling the airport a mere twenty-five-times, Meleah and Sarah were ‘Reunited’ after being separated for ‘Nineteen Years’.

[- insert two chicks screaming like 15 year olds. -]

And then Meleah decided to ‘Take A Break’ from ‘Doing Things Differently’ to simply enjoy her time catching up with her girlfriend.

And it’s been was WONFDERFUL.

Except for the day they almost couldn’t watch the ‘Academy Awards’ because ABC was yanked from our Cable provider. But THAT is a whole other story.

Meleah’s girlfriend Sarah will be returning to California on Wednesday, and that’s when Meleah will return to the Internet, and resume ‘Doing Things Differently’.

And that’s a wrap!

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