Momma Mia, Mea Culpa

Dear Facebook,

When I first met you, I wasn’t even sure we would get along. In fact, I found you quite difficult to navigate. And frankly, I was intimidated by all of your incessant application requests. I had my trepidations because I thought you were just going to be another MySpace.

However, against my better judgment, I went ahead and signed up for your services.

I have to admit, you sucked me in right from the beginning and you held me tight in your grip.  Maybe it was the way you helped me discover so many of my long lost high school friends? Or, maybe it was all of those fabulous pieces of flair? Whatever the case, I found myself overly exited when someone tagged me in a note, or wrote on my wall. And before I knew it, I had become officially addicted to you, and all of your glorious splendor.

Honest to blog, I fell in love with you.

I am not ashamed to admit that I have wasted countless hours of my life, thinking of my own Status Updates and making comments, all the while gleefully participating in harmless friendly banter and basking in all of your magnificent features. Not to mention, you provide me the joy of speaking in the third person.

Then WHAM!

You hit me.

And right where it hurt.

All of my commenting fun came to a sudden halt on Thursday evening.

When I logged into my account, I was greeted with this unpleasant message:

I thought maybe you were just feeling a little glitchy that day and I didn’t want to bother you. I signed out without writing a single word anywhere on your site.

Friday, I decided to try again. Yet, after only writing one Status Update on my own page, and one comment on a friend’s page, you presented me with this message:

Um.

What The Hell?

[I'm not really sure how one can abuse a social networking site, simply by socializing and networking.]

Even though I was able to post a few Status Updates, every time I tried to respond via comment on my own page or anyone else’s pages all I would see was this:

For fear of losing my Facebook privileges, or having my account disabled, I wasn’t going to push my luck. However, in my defense, your very instructions tell me to “Please Try Again Later.”

So I did.

Over. And Over. And Over. Again.

Apparently, “Please Try Again Later” really means, “Now You Will Pay” because only a few moments later, I received this message from you:

Why, Oh Why, Dear Facebook?

Why did you lure me into your world, only to cut me off? Why did you give me your love, only to take it away? And, now you’ve left me comment-less, without the decency of giving a comprehensive explanation.

So. Not. Cool.

You Broke My Heart.

I want you to know, I temporarily considered going back to MySpace, but that would require one too many vaccinations. So I think, it’s time for us to reach some sort of agreement.

And quickly.

I’ve tried contacting you, but no one responds.  I’ve tried changing my password and rebooting my computer, but that didn’t help.  I’ve tried fixing my settings and followed all of your instructions, but that gets me nowhere.

I just can’t go on living like this:

Meleah Rebeccah Hawthorne: Apparently, Meleah has caught the Beau Brooks / Michael Christleman “Virus”.  All she IS capable of doing is writing her own FB Status Updates, to none of which she can reply. But she can send FB emails. At least for now. She also cannot comment on ANYONE’s page, INCLUDING her OWN. However, she CAN “Like” your Status Updates, which she WILL be doing all damn day.

Please don’t make me get on an airplane and head on over to 156 University Ave. in Palo Alto, CA 94301-1605, because I’d really hate to have to take things that far.

What can we do to resolve this unfortunate situation?

Thanks In Advance.
Sincerely,
Meleah Rebeccah Hawthorne.

In the meantime, while I am waiting for some kind of resolution, here is a Status Update I’d like to share with ya’ll…

Meleah Rebeccah Hawthorne is trying to think of a half way decent pseudonym for herself in the event she needs to create an alter ego, complete with a Facebook page which functions properly. Especially since she’d really like to create, and reply, via comments on many Status Updates!

I would really appreciate any new fake name suggestions from you, so that I may get started on creating a brand new FB page.

Or,

If anyone here has any clue, or idea, HOW TO FIX my current page, that would be spectacular.

[OMFG]

[UPDATE * UPDATE * UPDATE]

I was thrilled to announce [after sending out an email to FBHQ, and receiving a vague response from FBHQ]  my issues with Facebook seem to be resolved:

“Meleah Rebeccah Hawthorne has officially been released from solitary confinement by the FBPD. It’s a FESTIVUS Miracle! Because four whole days in purgatory, was four more days than she could handle!”

I was suddenly able to use Facebook the way it was intended to be used.

Finally.

It was lonely being banished to living on ‘Isolation Nation‘ with limited interaction.

I spent Monday in my glory, leaving several comments on all of my friends pages. I was living the facebook life and loving it.

And Then.

OUT OF NOWHERE

And

FOR NO REASON

This Happened:

NOW WHY!

And

WHAT THE HELL!

They just gave me back my comment abilities, only to shut down my whole page?

Yep. My profile page has been removed, along with every comment I have ever made, all my contacts, emails, photos, videos, and FRIENDS.

2. Can I see the content that got me disabled?

Unfortunately, for technical and security reasons, Facebook cannot provide you with a description or copy of the removed content.

[Gee. THANKS]

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